My Inner Lonely Lesbian Has Two Moods.

It's official I'm dating my vibraphone she's my girlfriend now

someone: butch ballet dancers

me:

What if instead of your heart like beating faster, what of it just got super loud or like base-booted.

how to kiss a boy

grab his waist

slip your hand in his pocket

steal his wallet

dont even kiss him

just run

I was playing mafia with my marching band section and the narrator said "so you were on a game show with the Joker, and he said 'vibe check' and shot you in the head" and

“I want to speak to a manager,” the middle-aged woman said in her stern I-used-to-be-a-soccer-mom-ten-years-ago voice, looking down at me over the top of her Gucci reading glasses.

A wicked grin split across my face and the gates of Hell opened up behind me, releasing a gust of hot wind that whipped my apron around my body and forced the woman to shield her face. Demons came forth, dancing around in flames with songs of, “She wants to speak to a manager. Did you hear that? She wants to speak to a manager!” before erupting into earsplitting shrieks of laughter, none louder than my own cackling.

I took in the woman’s look of utter horror before my eyes rolled back into my head and I growled,

“I am the manager.”

Ohhhh I love himmmm

They love carrots so MUCH

Honestly it was confirmed a while ago that Steven's physical age is just a representation of how he's mentally matured, so he could probably live forever if he felt like it.

Plus yeah, if your theory is true, then his blood is pretty op. Maybe if he went the old age route, his body just wouldn't let him die at the end of his "life" until he realized he couldn't die and decided to de-mature.

Spinel more or less showed he could only half-poof, so that's out. The only way to kill Steven would be to shatter him, basically. Correct me if I'm wrong on any of this.

Is Steven like completely fucking immortal?

Like, considering his tears reanimated lars, his spit healed Connie's vision, Its safe to say all of his bodily fluids have his healing effect.

Blood is a bodily fluid?

So like, does that mean his open wounds heal really fast because his blood heals him?

If my cat were here, I'd ask him what a landmark is.