Honey-badger-dont-give-an-frick - DemoDemon

*Sniff* I miss Bob...

So we all know how Bohrok-Kal can speak right?

And I am pretty sure that it’s the Krana who speak through the Bohrok-Kal’s vocal chords.

So imagine, the Bohrok-Kal gather in a secret lair. 

“Welcome, everyone, to the Bohrok-Kal Monthly Meeting,” Tahnok-Kal says. “On today’s agenda: The Queens are still missing, the pesky Toa can’t leave us alone, and…” pause, “we lost Bob today.” The rest gasp. “He’ll be missed dearly.”

Tahnok-Kal pats the empty shell of the Pahrak-Kal. A Bohrok-Va comes near and hands him the gunmetal Krana which he puts under the Pahrak-Kal’s head shell.

“Everyone,” Tahnok proclaims, “Say hello to Roy.” “Hello Roy,” the rest of the Bohrok-Kal say in unison. 

[The Portable Pickle Man]

Bonus: How they got him out

This is what I mean when I say "portable green pickle man"

random au idea #143

the sith realize sometime during the middle of the war that they are all just pawns for sidious to fuck with (without actually knowing who he is) so they stop taking the battles seriously.

they start doing shit like decorating the droids and sending them off into battle? also combining droids together to make super droids? kind of like adult murder children playing with legos. anakin literally steals parts off the battlefield because the designs are rad as fuck.

in the middle of one lightsaber duel, count dooku starts talking snark, and the mannerisms remind obi-wan so much of qui-gon he has to stop and sit down.

bonus points if he goes “holy shit is this my fucking grandmaster?”

when anakin and ahsoka are sent after general grevious and ventress, it ends up with anakin asking a bunch of questions about grevious’ robot body and him being all salty but answering, while ventress and ahsoka teach each other cool gymnastics moves.

AHSOKA AND MAUL TALKING SHIT ABOUT KENOBI YES I AM HERE FOR IT.

master windu walks in on anakin building something and he’s like “skywalker if this is another bomb i swear to kenobi-” but anakin reassures him that it’s just a prototype rocket arm for the murderous droid general.

clones and droids just vibe in the background, and guess what? the clones discover that the droids have major meme potential, so somehow fives and hardcase manage to sneak an entire fucking droid into the barracks. they name him clanky. anakin is estatic.

the 104th stole one, painted armour and designs on it, then gave it to plo as a present.

he has another son now.

everything about the clones’ existence makes me so unwell. it’s like. you are a copy of a man who is a killer but he is also a father and he is whip-smart and tough but he’s a simple man and he asks for one thing when he agrees to be cloned and it’s a son. and you grow up to look just like this man but you are not his son you are his paycheck

Lucky: you and general Secura need to bone.

Bly: *high pitched* what did you say to me?

Flash: please don't say it again

Lucky: I said you and general Secura need to bone.

Bly: hoooOw dare you trooper, I am your supIORIOR OFFICER!

Flash: *facepalms*

-10 minutes later-

Bly: BONE!!!!

-15 minutes later-

Bly: whathappensinmybedroomtroopers, is none of your business!

-25 minutes later-

Bly: boOoOoNE?!

-40 minutes later-

Bly: dont, ever, speak to me like that again.

YO! I JUST HAD A GALAXY BRAIN MOMENT! Ok, so Yoda taught Luke, right? (Of course. This is common knowledge) but Yoda also taught Count Dooku! What if, and this may be a stretch, but what if Yoda did the piggyback-head-stand BS with Dooku? And what if Dooku passed that on to Ventress, Savage, and Grievous? Imagine Grievous basically breakdancing because Robot-Body, Savage getting stuck because Horns, Ventress falling over because bald, and them all doing a Relay-Race with Old Man Dooku!

Every writer on Tumblr: “I would combust out of love if someone ever drew fanart of my fic!!” Me: “oh man I wanna draw this scene BUT THEY WOULD PROBABLY HATE IT AND HATE ME FOR THE NERVE”

Write fanfic for yourself.

Publish fanfic for the rotation of 3-6 people who are devoted readers and will either go feral or leave you very nice words and yell with you about it.

Writing a fic where Jango wasn’t a willing progenitor because his family is still alive on Mandalore so Palpy did some fucked up shit to his brain and now the clones exist but one day while visiting home Jaster (who I love writing as force sensitive af) is all ‘my child has something weird in his noggin I’m gonna unravel it’ and now they know who the Sith Lord is and Jango is all ‘well. Now that that’s outta my brain-‘ and wanders off to tell the alphas that they can leave with their vod’e as soon as the Sith Lord is killed and the alphas being paranoid as they are are like ‘okay what do we give you in turn???’ ‘What do you mean this is a freebie’ ‘nothing is free prime, what do you want’ ‘lmao idk just babysit the Jedi they seem kinda stupid a little’ and the clones take that to mean ‘they are stupid and get themselves killed keep them safe’ and Jango doesn’t correct them cause this is hilarious and allows them to dig into the Jedi histories as much as they want only for them to come back all ‘ahh, yes, we see the senate has them in a chokehold and barely better than slaves living in a Diaspora being forced to their Will and their numbers have been steadily declining over the past thousand years. We see. They need help’ and Jango is all ‘…they fucking what???’ Only for the clones to already be fucked off to claim the Jedi as part of their people and no they will not be leaving sure you can try and run but we are here to help you sorta thing and Anakin is very eager for this, they saved all the slaves on Tatooine and saved his mom and stopped him from getting married cause if he gets married without Obi walking him down the aisle his master WILL cry about it and Plo and Shaak are repeating the gai bal manda to anyone they come across and it’s really very annoying and Mace shoved Kenobi at the sternest clones he could find saying ‘this one bites, he’s feral; tame him and win the prize’ and tbh they don’t know what the prize is but that sounds like fun and Obi is very annoyed at all times except when they pull him into their sleepy piles because that’s nice and yea he likes these dudes, they did not tame him tho he still bites he’s still feral at least they tried.

Anyways. Alpha 17 and Cody are the most annoying jerks ever who won’t let him run off into danger without them and Miss Shmi is awesome and disgusted by her son eating live bugs too so we no longer know where Ani gets it from that’s a shame and Mace is grounding anyone who adopts a clone or gets adopted by clones everyone is grounded. The Mandalorian empire is sorta peeking in like ‘wow. Are the Jedi okay??? They look a little annoyed??? But I haven’t heard of any of them getting murdered this week so probably???’ And it’s kinda hilariously adorable. The Mandos didn’t know they needed to worry about the Jedi and they’re super pissed at the Sith for hurting their prince’s brain and so yeah let’s join the clones they look like they’re having fun in the temple?????