crack AU idea:
The war is over. Sheevy is dead. Everything is perfect.
...except for the little bitty problem of how the clones don't have citizenship and aren't even recognized as sentient beings.
Jedi are scrambling to find a way to get the clones legal rights and finally realize that the easiest way is to just accept them into the Jedi order, which would grant automatic citizenship.
But you gotta be force-sensitive. Since they're all clones of Jango Fett, who was as force-sensitive as a rock, they don't qualify. (I love the idea of FS-clones but just not in this AU lol.)
Jocasta does some digging in the archives and discovers something interesting: an old old old law, SUPER old, that states that the spouse of any Jedi, and that spouse's immediate relatives, are automatically granted a place in the Jedi order, regardless of midichlorian levels. (Back when getting married was something Jedi did, they knew that that meant if the spouse & spouse's family was non-Jedi, they could be in danger/used as leverage against the Jedi, and this was a way to protect them.)
And clones definitely count as immediate relatives.
Chaos ensues.
I'm picturing a council meeting where half the Jedi just left to go find some Space Asprin because the whole fiasco is a headache and the rest of the people there are:
Depa, chatting with Shaak: I considered myself and Grey, but we've always been more like platonic partners. I know he sees Caleb as a son, but my feelings for him are familial and I know it's the same for him.
Shaak: I agree, some of the clones overheard me saying I would do it if it meant they'd be safe and their response was unanimously no no no you're like our mom
Plo, to no one in particular: Does it have to be a marriage? Could it be an adoption? asking for a friend.
Anakin, newly appointed to the council: wait so NOW we can get married??????
Obi-Wan: no Anakin, this is an extenuating circumstance, not a new rule
Anakin: we could make it a new rule
Plo, turning to Shaak: what if we got married, and then adopted all the clones?
Aayla, kicking the door open: I VOLUNTEER
...I have many more thoughts about this AU and will elaborate later.
Star Wars releases a special movie. One where Fox had his blaster set to Stun. One where Fives could tell Anakin and Rex and everyone else. One where the entire GAR comes knocking on Palpatines’ door. One where the clones follow Cut’s example and get to settle down and have families. One where they go from Droids with flesh and blood to People. One where the Empire never exists.
Obi-Wan: Alright, men, what are we thinking right now?
Wooley: *shoved his lil hand up super fast* Oh, me! I got this one, me!
Obi-Wan: *waving his hand over them all* Hmmmmmmm- you. *points to Wooley*
Wooley: *fist pumps* Yes! Okay so I think we should throw Cody a decanting-day party with cheeses.
Obi-Wan: Cheeses?
Waxer: No he’s right, Cody likes cheeses. And caf. I think we should get him an espresso machine.
Obi-Wan: Those are super expensive, I have several contacts I can pout at till they buy me one. Why cheeses? I’ve never seen Cody’s apparently well known love for cheese.
Boil: Yeah, that’s cause he’s scared you’ll think he’s insane.
Obi-Wan: Okay, but, like, is this a fancy stinky cheese thing or is he gonna eat an entire block of store brand cheddar right from the package??? This is news to me and both have to be approached very differently.
Wooley: It’s the stinky one. They’re like SUPER icky but he loves them but he will eat them right from the package with nothing but bread at room temperature.
Obi-Wan: No, no, that’s how those ones are supposed to be eaten.
Wooley: Is gross tho.
Waxer: Idk I think they’re good if the bread is crunchy, but I like the not-as-smelly ones.
Boil: I’ll eat the store brand cheddar right from the block idk man
Obi-Wan: Awesome, I have an idea. Party at Padme’s house, new espresso machine that I’ll get… probably Bail, I haven’t annoyed Bail lately. I’ll get Bail to buy him an espresso machine. You guys get to come with me to look for cheeses, both fancy and store brand, but they will be on separate sides of the room so no one complains. I’m sorry, Boil, but this means you’ll be with Anakin and Ahsoka on the store brand side of the room.
Boil: The price of not smelling that stinky stuff is worth it every time.
Obi-Wan: Awesome. Best decanting-day party ever.
When the Jedi aren’t home, Rex and Cody uncover a Spy in their Midst and prevent an invasion on Kamino by blasting an Outpost to smitherens
When the jedi aren’t home
I ate a coin when I was in Kindergarten
Baby may eat the spaghetti messy, his mother may find it adorable, “how the fuck did he get a meatball on his head?” she’d say, but deep down inside I am disgusted, like I’m staring at gluttony manifested in that baby crib. Baby Spaghetti.
Meanwhile the Wolfpack is just vibing with Savage and Wolffe and him are bonding over Mechanical body parts and Feral is watching Plo chase down Maul with Sinker and Boost and Comet and they’re all eating popcorn and holy wow I never knew how much I needed this until I went off on a tangent about it
Plo, filling out adoption papers for Feral: so how many brothers did you say you have?
Plo, realizing Maul is one of these brothers: Ah, a challenge, I see! *gets a net*