Finished Reading PnP And Now I Officially Hate All The Literary References That Modern Romances (like

It's the way Aziraphale is a terrible liar and magician but he always effortlessly pulls through whenever it is to protect Crowley.

Exhibit A:

In season 1, when Gabriel and Sandalphon drop by for a surprise visit, and they can tell something smells evil, Aziraphale very smoothly lies which is one of the only times he isn't an anxious mess in front of the Archangels.

Exhibit B:

The picture swapping in season 2 which is emphasised even further later when Aziraphale tries to recreate the magic trick once they're back (safe) in the bookshop and just fails lol

There's no conclusion to this I just thought it was neat and I needed to ramble a bit

Edit: OK there is a conclusion, actually (my brain just needed to process lol). I think it really reinforces how at his core, Aziraphale is a protector. A guardian, if you will. It comes naturally to him. We see it with the way he decides to help Gabriel in s2 with no hesitation, with how he immediately puts the humans' safety first when the demons attack the bookshop. We're often so focused on Crowley's protective side towards our angel, it's easy to miss the maybe more subtle ways Aziraphale protects him right back.

And I think it could play quite a part in his decision to go back to Heaven. Perhaps it's wishful thinking but I don't think he'll fumble his role as Supreme Archangel, if we are to believe he made that decision partly to protect Crowley, then I 100% believe he'll pull through. Because he gets it right when it matters, after all.

link click withdrawal is hittin hard rn, ill just try consuming something else to escape

finished shatter me book 1 in half a day and my brother stared at me like i am a lunatic. My mother taunted me about studies. Fantastic.

ok but i love it when the important moments that have been built up from LONG in stories actually turn out to be really... humanly normal? Yet fitting? The meeting with that once in a lifetime love you been hyping us up for 9 years (see: how i met your mother) actually just happens under rain, on a station and they actually just joke about how the guy once entered the wrong class to teach. Confessions being accidental, transformative moments not appearing like that without the hindsight etc etc.

On A TANGENT, I ALSO love when the moments happen with a full cheesy bang and boom, if it calls for it! yall been beating around to bush for 4 seasons (see: Kaguya-Sama: Love is War) and THE MAN FINALLY confesses with an elaborate set up, on a special night with a hunt and hundreds of balloons timed, the lighting timed and on the damn roof of highschool???

its just good seeing stories be apologetically *themselves*. I think we are becoming too hyper aware of tropes, irony and a lil too critical of unrealistic fantasy that something just leaning into fully being ITSELF, trying hard, being cheesy is just FRESH.

Ah, I babbled.

lets talk about the plane scene in bridon arc, where cheng xiaoshi's sleeping head falls on lu guang's shoulders and lu guang, the man, reaches his hand out to touch his hair. I dont even ship them but just his yearning, trying to feel that yes, he is here. trying to feel the 'there-ness' of CXS. I love them your honor.

Btw stop making lu guang suffer omg

watched some rory gilmore clips and hopefully i wont hate studying anymore

the secret history is all fun and games and then you reach page 200+ and its like

what. what the fuck is this. sign me up for more, you bastard.

I have a mega exam in 2 days and here I am. Thinking to write fanfiction and original satire.

As more and more time passes, I feel more and more attached to the few representations in media we have. Being on a-spec is awesome in its own way, but I only wish if I could see more of it in media. Not because I wanna feel seen. But because I wanna see what future might look like for someone on a-spec who doesn't want any sort of partnership. I saw some posts earlier talking about how a "single" life is extremely hard to sustain in current economy and that's extremely true. I also remember my friend saying "you can always adopt kids! You need someone to look after you in old age!" And... she was somewhat right, in a way. I don't want kids, but... what exactly is my future going to be like? Who is going to be there for me in a world where romantic relationships are prioritized before anything else? Its just all very very... in dark. There is no movie or book to look at and say "hey! Thats the kind of life I want!" Because every single media shows a version of life that isn't for me. I talk to my friends about wanting to live as a "single queer cat lady" but... realistically, how sustainable and possible is that?

being a stem major with high love for humanities feels like being in a business marriage with a rich high class wife and having a constant affair with a dark academia mistress