Update. It’s Done. I Went Into A Nap And I’m Still Tired. I Also Want McDonald Fried.

There are Monsters in the Dark

[Bruce waking up to Jason looming over him]

Bruce, bleary eyed: Jason? Why- why are you watching me sleep?

Jason: I need your help.

Bruce, groaning: What did you do?

Jason: Excuse you, I did nothing but be my perfect angel self.

Bruce, deadpan: Ah yes, angel and Jason. Two words that are basically synonymous. Well then, my angel child, I'm sure this can wait till tomorrow after I have had at least 3 hours of sleep.

Jason: It actually can't, because there is currently a monster residing under my bed.

Bruce:

Bruce, blinking slowly: Jason, you are 22. There isn't a monster under your bed.

Jason: Oh, silly me, let me just inform the MONSTER under MY BED that there is apparently an age limit on that sort of behavior.

Bruce: You can't be serious, Jay.

Jason: Deadly. Much like the monster under my bed. And as my dad it is your job to get rid of it.

Bruce: *Getting up and angrily putting his robe on* Alfred help you, Jason, if you woke me up at 4 am to kill a spider.

Jason: Firstly, it's not a spider, Bruce. And secondly, there is no need to invoke the name of our lord and savior, Alfred Pennyworth.

Bruce: *rolling his eyes*

[Bruce getting on his knees to check under the bed]

Bruce: See, there's no- F*CK! *Bruce slamming his head against the bed-frame upon seeing Tim dressed as the Joker under the bed*

Jason, laughing hysterically: Oh my god, I should have filmed that.

Bruce, wide-eyed looking at Jason: What is wrong with you?

Jason: So, so many things. But this right here, was genius.

Bruce: Tim! Get out from under the bed, now!

Tim: *Crawling out from under the bed* Sorry, Bruce. But that was pretty funny.

Bruce: No! It wasn't! That is the most horrifying sh*t you two have ever pulled!

Tim: What about that time in-

Bruce: And yes. I am including the incident in Shanghai.

*Tim and Jason grinning and high-fiving*

Bruce: No! No high-fiving! This is not a high-fiving moment! I could have seriously injured, Tim.

Tim, snorting: When? After or before you screamed and hit your head against the bed?

Bruce: *Unimpressed bat-glare*

Bruce: I'm returning you both.

Jason: Sorry, there's a no return policy on broken orphans.

Tim: *snorting and high-fiving Jason again*

Bruce: Stop high-fiving! This is serious!

Jason: Yeah, yeah, Old Man. Save the lecture. We're on a time crunch, we still have to dress Timbers up as Ra's and hide him in the Demon Brats closet.

Bruce:

Bruce: Why are you two like this?

Jason, shrugging: Blame it on the childhood trauma.

[Tim and Jason walking out of the room]

Bruce: Alcohol. I need Alcohol. Lots and lots of alcohol.

House sitting for someone who practically lives in the woods and I have never been more entertained than now just swinging on their rope swing.

It's bed o clock, you best be sleeping

It's free real estate

Anyone got good advice for a cat who goes after the carpet by your door at 5am and wakes you up to be fed? I’ve tried oil and spray but those proved ineffective for repellent and ignoring cat only makes damage to carpet worse. I just want to sleep in without waking up to a cats needs of being fed at 5am instead of maybe 8 or 9am. She can’t sleep in my room due to mom having allergic reaction to cats and so I keep more cat hair off keeping her out.

Jason: It’s 2019 why can’t I delete people in real life?

Later

Jason: Ok. So it turns out what I was thinking of is called murder.

Activate your boops?

Boop boop

Young Justice Things: The team and swearing/Crude humor

Okay this is not a new thing, they’re teenagers I don’t know many teenagers who don’t swear. These kids are no exception. They swear and use the dirtiest humor possible. -Imagine the mind link -Something goes wrong and it’s just like all of them: “fuckfuckfuckFUCKFUCK” -Conner and M’gann sometimes forget their teammates can hear them and say something dirty over the mind link -M’gann: I might need a massage later babe ;) ;) ;) -Wally: WE LEAVE ROOM FOR JESUS IN THIS MIND LINK -Artemis has the worst mouth/dirty mind out of any of them -Imagine the fights with Wally, they would get so out of hand so quick. -Artemis: FUCKING FUCK THIS SHIT -Wally: you kiss your mother with that mouth? -Artemis: yeah and if you talk shit again I literally will go fuck yours right in front of you, then have her make me a sandwich. -Wally: LEAVE MY MOM OUT OF THIS YOU FUCKING HARPY -Wally does the title of your sex tape jokes like from Brooklyn 99 -Artemis: Wow I finished so fast -Wally: TITLE OF YOUR SEX TAPE -Tbh I feel like Wally uses the “fuck me gently with a chainsaw” quote from heathers. -Conner kind of a child but being around the team taught him swearing and crude humor, he’s neck and neck with Artemis for foul mouths. -Conner: Wally! Artemis! I swear you two just need to fuck and get it over with. -Artemis: GROSS NO I’D RATHER DIE -Conner: Do I have to remind you that he can vibrate? -Wally: DUDE HOW ABOUT WE FUCKING NOT? -M’gann, sweet sweet M’gann swears like a sailor. The first time she swore in front of any of them two league members were present. -M’gann: Listen I don’t know who the fuck you think- -Black Canary: M’gann! -M’gann: What?  -Black Canary: You shouldn’t say that! -M’gann: What? Fuck? -Batman is all “who taught her that?” All of them are like “honestly who didn’t teach her??” -Kaldur has a habit of saying whatever three swears come to his mind, especially when something goes wrong in a mission. -Kaldur: *over the mind link* FUCK SHIT COCK -Robin combines swear words because he’s fucking Robin -Robin: *after he’s been hurt on a mission*: That hurt like a motherbitch and I hope that guy suffers in prison! -He’s also the king of that’s what she said jokes and the team is done with him -Artemis: this is too big it’s not gonna fit -Robin: That’s what she said -Artemis: NOT TO YOU BIRD BOY SHUT THE FUCK UP -Zatanna swears so casually that she always slips up in front of league members. -Zatanna: *Walking in to a room* WHAT’S UP FUCKERS? -Batman: …Zatanna language -Zatanna: I didn’t know you were here shit I mean damn! I MEAN- -Black Canary gets a swear jar for the cave -Their reactions were to put twenties in the jar then start blasting swear words -The jar was taken away a week later

Tim: hey guys I’m gonna add pictures to the groupchat of all of us as birds.

Jason: don’t

Steph: pls don’t

Dick: c'mon, that actually sounds kinda cute

Tim: thank you Dick! I’ll do yours first!

What Dick Grayson thinks he looks like kissing someone

Vs. What he ACTUALLY looks like

Dick: i take it back

@iindigodingo