Latest Posts by faelovesthings - Page 2
I fear BBNO$ has slayed again with antidepressants
I love complaining. Complaining is such a universal activity.
Early in the week, it’s Monday 🙄
Hungry, I haven’t eaten In AGES
Tired, I need a nap
The complaints just keep coming
I’ll complain about school, I’ll complain about classmates, I’ll complain about being trans, I’ll complain about being mentally ill.
I don’t actually want to fix anything I just LOVE to complain
So, I am about 4 month on T (yay man juice) and I love public speaking.
My current problem is that I am not comfortable with my voice dropping, not because I don’t want it too but because it’s new and I don’t know what it sounds like so I don’t know what sounds good
I used to have a very certain way I would pick certain ways to pick monologues and speeches that included finding parts that I liked in my voice and “fixing” the parts that don’t.
But now it’s like I’m trying to relearn how to talk
1 rose has a carbon emissions of 1.8. One banana has a carbon emissions of 0.11.
Don’t buy roses, BUY BANANAS!!!!
Here’s something I wrote for English:
Three passions I live for.
To live for nothing is the same as to not live. The passions that rule my life are to live, to learn, and to long. To live in a way that inspires future generations of my family is what drives me to reach goals that do not seem possible considering how I live currently. To learn the ways of past generations and to learn how to be sustainable for the future of humanity, and to learn the ways of the academics who have provided the information I seek to acquire in my life. To long for a family and friends and a career is what drives me to seek new things and to brave the world and search for adventure.
I have wished to live a life that brings pride to future generations and my future descendants. I wish to live to put my mark on the world and to make a difference. To wish to live is a wish that is both constantly and never fulfilled. Wishing to live is fulfilled every morning I wake up and let my feet hit the ground. It is fulfilled every time I take a breath and let the air flow through my nose into my windpipe and fill my lungs. It is fulfilled with every connection I make and every skill I learn. Wishing to live can never be fulfilled until one day I don't wake up one morning and can't let my breath through my nose, into my windpipe and to fill my lungs and can't make any more connections or use any more skills. You do not live until you sit at the end of your life and think, "wow i really lived." and even at the end of your life when your breaths come hard and connections are weak you still will sit and wonder if your connections were enough to make your mark, if your skills will be passed on.
The wish for my skills to be passed on encourages the need to learn. The need to learn every skill and to become a master of every skill you lay a hand on. Treating every skill we learn like a piece of coal, brought up from a cave by our mothers and fathers and mentors, for us to turn into a diamond with the pressure of our own two hands. As we enhance our skills we refine that diamond until we can place it in a display of works that can be taught to our children and nieces and nephews and grandchildren. Passing down the diamonds that represent our skills to these younger generations so they can keep refining the diamond. Our diamonds get passed down and that is the mark we leave on our children. We learn the skills of our ancestors through diamonds passed through our families. We learn the way of the future through the coal we are gifted. In the end I will have a display of diamonds and a collection of skills that will be useful not only to me but to the future of my blood.
Seeking these collections of skills come from longing. I long for skills and I long for a life that fits the paradise I have imagined. I long for a career that comes from skills. Skills sharpened to give an advantage over the competition. The need to learn to follow the flow of the bustling web of people surrounding me clashing with the wish to live in an impactful way. The longing for both trying to break free from inside. We long for an opportunity to be memorable to our generation and to future generations.
Living and learning and longing are my passions. Living for the opportunity to make a mark, learning skills to pass on and longing for a perfect life may seem future oriented, yet, these have given me reason to live. These three concepts, simple in saying however hard in practice, have brought a purpose to my life. To live for future generations for me is to live for the product of what I have done and what I have become.
“How’s your head?”
There have been some vary prominent complaints.
(This is a joke, I’m aro ace.)
(I meant there has been some complaints but I do not care )
Here’s my thought on the type of magical beings in bureau of magical things:
As we know, they exist. In the series they mention; trolls, tree nymphs, mermaids, gnomes, goblins, Minotaurs, ogres, pixies, dragons, and hobgoblins.
Now my theory is that these all fall into three categories
1: things that are sub categories of fairy/elf
2:things that are “accidents”
3: things that don’t exist
For group one these are things that are very similar to a fairy or an elf. For example pixies, and tree nymphs, gnomes
Group two are things that aren’t supposed to exist and happened through some magical accident. These would be like the minautaur, dragon and mermaids,
And group three would be creatures that are only mentioned as insults. It would be the same way we would use those as insults. If you call someone an ogre it’s an insult even though ogres don’t exist. Some of these would be ogres and trolls, goblins and hobgoblins
I went to the dentist yesterday and he said that there wasn’t really anything new!!! All the problems were already there or weren’t a huge worry!!!!!
Medical talk (kinda) below
They did have to cut out a little piece of tissues that had accumulated to get a biopsies though
BRIAN. No one wants those tour dates. Please please please do better ones. I want to go!!!!!
Look at my pasta. Thanks to my dad. He really slayed the birthday gifts.
Back row: small shells from my birthday supper, Gemelli from my birthday supper
Middle row: rigatoni from my birthday supper, Luna coni from my birthday supper, ditali, dapeletti
Front row: Pepe bucato from my dad, lumachine from my dad, ditali from my dad, swirls from my dad
T-minus two days till hell, sorry I mean exams, start!
4 exams out of four blocks
Somebody will need to come and move my body by the end of the week so that I don’t shut down
What movie should I force my bestie ( @grey-loves-vikings ) to watch with me for my birthday today!
We might watch multiple because MOVIES!!!
Happy birthday to me!!!
That vibe when you find out one of your favourite teachers not only knows about but also enjoys the music of one of your second favourite bands that was never super popular and wrote most of their music In the 70s-80s!
‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️
(It’s dr.hook and the medicine show and I’ve never met anyone outside my family in person who’s heard of them beaides knowing of a couple songs. In the word of my aunt “the only dr hook fans are *my last name*”
Y’all!!!!!
IS THIS ROMANCE????
NO. THEY ARE IN A QPR!!!!!!!🩷💛🩶🤍🖤
I hate when people make fun of neurodivergent traits. I hate when people make fun of neurotypical for showing neurodivergent traits. I hate the sentence “they’re just being over dramatic”. I hate the sentence “I’m fine and they are too” I hate neurotypical people who think they understand neurodivergent brains and habits.
Wiki how to convince teachers not to give me 7 tests in one week when there is still 3 weeks left
Was I doing laundry because I wanted to organize my underwear? Yes.
Did it make me do all the laundry I had dirty means I have clothes to wear? Also yes.
I am so tired of being jealous of my friends. I shouldn’t be. I’m happy they are getting the help that they need but what can’t it be me? Why won’t my mom believe me! Why won’t she book me an appointment to figure out my joints instead of just saying it my diet? Why won’t she book an appointment to figure out what’s going on with how tired I feel all the time but can’t ever sleep instead of just saying it depression? Why can’t she accommodate my needs? Why won’t she buy me the supports I need? Why won’t she buy me my comfort food? Why won’t she support my accommodations? Why won’t she care about me?
All my friends have loving parents. One of my friends mom takes them to all the appointments that they need to get the help they need. But my mom won’t even make an effort to call an online therapist so I don’t have to struggle with no support and my old therapist was not working for me. My friends mom will support how they need to live to have a good life and my mom won’t even let me eat the food I like and know I like without getting on my ass. My friends mom takes care of them and mine doesn’t and it feels horrible.
And that’s just the stuff with my physical health and neurodivergency. She also ignores my anxiety unless she uses it to justify something else. It hurts so bad to see your best friend have a wonderful mother who supports them and helps them get the supports they need and the best my mom will do is get me on testosterone then saying that if I have an attitude she’ll take me off it.
She does that with so many things. If I have an attitude or get mad or have normal human emotions she threatens to take away my restorative or take away my ability to see my friend.
She once booked an appointment with my doctor just for the doctor to say “yeah, that’s normal human emotions”. But when I tell her that I am struggling to be a human in a productive way because I think I have autism after hours and hours of reaserch she says that the waiting list is too long. It stead of making that call when I’m still a minor she is making me do it once I am an adult. I have to do it for myself with no support from my mom.
And I live my dad but he also doesn’t stand up for me. How am I supposed to get through this shit with parents who blame my constant pain on diet and won’t book appointments I need.
I’m so tired of being put in a bad mood when my best friend talks about their mental health and neurodivergency. It’s not FUCKING fair!
Who ever is on this fucking bus and is wearing perfume, maybe don’t be on a bus. Nobody likes it when we can smell your perfume from 20km away
Testosterone really said: you are expecting acne and pimples on your face, well, how about no! You get a pimple on your thigh and nothing else!!!
New study habits just dropped!!
I’ve started listening to lulibied versions of songs and I get the dopamine of my favourite artists without getting as distracted!!!
This is my favourite album to listen to because it’s amazingly funny
( @nick-the-dog you should listen to these. They are so funny. I will tell my kids that this was the front bottoms )
I am actually so annoyed with the use of AI in scholastic settings and in Artists settings.
Someone once tried to defend the use of AI by saying;
“Without AI I wouldn’t pass this class” -someone who has always pulled top marks in the subject
“AI isn’t embarrassing to use as long as you are just using it to avoid research” -someone who wasn’t using it to avoid reaserch
“AI isn’t even a true AI because it’s made by a human so it’s basically research” -someone who doesn’t even use AI and pulls too grades in my grade
“I take what Chat GPT says and reword it when i translate it” -MANY people in French classes in my school
“If it isn’t caught by *inset website for detecting AI* then it doesn’t really matter because I put enough effort in” -someone online who wasn’t using AI for an essay
“Well, *insert famous person* uses it to create * insert art*” -post on instagram
“I only use it to write emails for work” -my uncle about his job where he is a supervisor
Do these people genuinely not understand how stupid these arguments sound. How none of these are valid arguments to justify using AI especially for “creating” art. Most of these were said to me when I shared my opinion on AI
I’ve also heard people refer to using generative AI to create pictures and calling themselves AI artists. They do not understand that what they are doing is typing into a machine that then takes the work of many real people and artist and puts them together.
Do I think AI is Inherently evil? No.
But I do believe that it should not be used in a scholastic setting at any point and that when it is used it should be advertised that it is AI.
For example:
I saw an improve performance where the first half of the performance was written by 2020 Chat GPT then the actors improved from there. I personally think this is ok because it was the gimmick of the show
A family member of mine enjoys using AI to create pictures and exploring the limits of what it can create. (At this point in time) he uses it as something to do and does not believe that he is an artist or is creating this “art”
Using AI to help you manage tasks (goblin tools is what I’m thinking off but I imagine there are other instances where this applies)
Summarizing medical documents and research paper in order to decipher the language that makes it harder for “regular people” to understand
I don’t understand how anyone who creates their own art or writes their own papers or does their own research can be ok with the use of AI
Head canon: ambition gremlins are all Aro ace and there are other gremlins in Human Resources but the ones that are ambition gremlins get the job because they are Aro ace so they don’t even want to focus on sex or romance
Here are all my armadillo things and a list of what they are
Big squishmallow: a generic armadillo that I have decided is a six banded armadillo to round out my cellection.
Large crochet one: giant armadillo
Blue and pink one: southern long nosed armadillo
Small blue and purple one: southern naked tailed armadillo
Teal squishmallow: Brazilian three banded armadillo
Cardboard one: nine banded armadillo
Snow globe one: screaming hairy armadillo
Tapestry: southern three banded armadillo
Charm: greater naked tail armadillo
Here’s my check list
Lmk if you want to know more
If they don’t come to somewhere near me I will LOOSE MY MIND.
BRIAN. COME TO *my location* OR ILL STEAL ALL YOUR HOT DOG BUNS
BRIAN I AM NOT PLAYING AROUND GIVE ME THE FUCKING TOUR DATES OR ELSE IM EATING ALL THE HOT DOGS IN THE WORLD