I’m Not As Far On The Ace Spectrum As I Thought I Was…

I am (platonically) down bad for bestie.

I have done some thing. I have never done before.

Stopped watching YouTube, which I can’t watch in picture in picture to play a game with them and I’m not disappointed 

@grey-loves-dragons (love you bestie)

I am so tired of being jealous of my friends. I shouldn’t be. I’m happy they are getting the help that they need but what can’t it be me? Why won’t my mom believe me! Why won’t she book me an appointment to figure out my joints instead of just saying it my diet? Why won’t she book an appointment to figure out what’s going on with how tired I feel all the time but can’t ever sleep instead of just saying it depression? Why can’t she accommodate my needs? Why won’t she buy me the supports I need? Why won’t she buy me my comfort food? Why won’t she support my accommodations? Why won’t she care about me?

All my friends have loving parents. One of my friends mom takes them to all the appointments that they need to get the help they need. But my mom won’t even make an effort to call an online therapist so I don’t have to struggle with no support and my old therapist was not working for me. My friends mom will support how they need to live to have a good life and my mom won’t even let me eat the food I like and know I like without getting on my ass. My friends mom takes care of them and mine doesn’t and it feels horrible.

And that’s just the stuff with my physical health and neurodivergency. She also ignores my anxiety unless she uses it to justify something else. It hurts so bad to see your best friend have a wonderful mother who supports them and helps them get the supports they need and the best my mom will do is get me on testosterone then saying that if I have an attitude she’ll take me off it.

She does that with so many things. If I have an attitude or get mad or have normal human emotions she threatens to take away my restorative or take away my ability to see my friend.

She once booked an appointment with my doctor just for the doctor to say “yeah, that’s normal human emotions”. But when I tell her that I am struggling to be a human in a productive way because I think I have autism after hours and hours of reaserch she says that the waiting list is too long. It stead of making that call when I’m still a minor she is making me do it once I am an adult. I have to do it for myself with no support from my mom.

And I live my dad but he also doesn’t stand up for me. How am I supposed to get through this shit with parents who blame my constant pain on diet and won’t book appointments I need.

I’m so tired of being put in a bad mood when my best friend talks about their mental health and neurodivergency. It’s not FUCKING fair!

Does anyone have suggestions for items that feel like you are being swaddled. My current go to is to tuck myself in with my weighted blanket but it isn’t enough pressure. Any Recommendations?

Commander is so fun but fuck it takes so long sometimes.

Like we can finish a game in 20 minutes if it goes well

Or… it can take 2 hours and we still aren’t done

Like wtf

Johnny and pony are in a qpr and they will always be together

What do you mean that Jonny does so they can’t be in a qpr FOREVER…

YOUR HONOUR, THIS MAN IS SLANDERING THE NAMES OF THESE BOYS

Y’all ever just, crochet? Like no plan, no pattern, just crochet.

What is it called when you are sex repulsed but only when it comes to real life. Like my little guys on paper or the little guys on the screen having sex is ok because they don’t exist and can’t actually have sex

But even hinting at sex in real life is icky it’s gross. It’s unwanted. It’s bad

“How’s your head?”

There have been some vary prominent complaints.

(This is a joke, I’m aro ace.)

(I meant there has been some complaints but I do not care )

My favourite colour is green…

Besties favourite colour is purple…

We were meant to be in a qpr

@grey-loves-vikings

Latest list of why I can’t sleep

- too overwhelmed about getting a present from bestie

-weighted blanket is too heavy and not heavy enough at the same time

-Decided I didn’t want to take my sleeping meds because I want to wake up early tomorrow

-my fish are upstairs

- I’m hungry

-I’m thirsty

- I realized I’ll have to eat and drink tomorrow and it’s icky