Haven’t Posted In A While, My Life Is So Hectic Right Now. And I Saw Him Today, 6 Months Of Nothing

“Forgive me if I don’t talk much at times. It’s loud enough in my head.”

— Unknown (via thoughtkick)

How can your heart get broken, yet you’re so happy for the situation, because it’s the right way to be and because you know it will make the person happy in the long run.... I may be loosing the closest person I have in my life, but this person that I’m loosing is gaining so much more than I could ever be for them.... I guess that is what people mean by, bittersweet....

I stay in pain all of the time. I was beginning to think that it was in my head until I find out I have some semi serious issues going on, and if I don’t make some changes now, with in 4 years maybe 5 years I’ll be in a wheelchair and that is worse than I could imagine… even though I’ve got proof of this my on and off again husband acts like There’s nothing wrong with me. No matter how I talk to him or try and confide in him, he just acts like I’m faking, or that it’s not that serious. I don’t get it. I mean I would understand if I thought he was worried or concerned at all, but he goes on about life getting to be a little more of an asshole daily. It’s like after he’s been an asshole for a couple days. After he slept on the couch periodically through the week. Then he wakes up one morning and wants to go shopping and do something together. Which I don’t normally I would love. But, it’s really hard to act like everything is OK when it’s been like this. I’m not a light switch. I tried to talk to him I’m trying to explain things how I feel be open. But it’s like he doesn’t even hear me. So I wouldn’t want to go be around him when he makes me feel stupid for asking questions or for not understanding something when all of it comes from the issues that I’m having it’s not my fault I would never make him feel stupid about anything I don’t get people. Especially not him. I Feel like if he wants to stick this out with me and work through this with me. And things would be totally different. I refuse to continue to cause conflict between us for something that I have no control over, this is all too much! But what do I expect when I ever need him the most he’s never been there.

.

Things are so different, everything has changed. We have changed, I’m not so sure that I know anything at all about you, sometimes I wonder if I ever really did.

Jus keeping it real

Damn, I just want to forget about him, us, forget that I ever met him! He did the ultimate deal breaker, it’s got to be over, dude were you even my friend, cause with friends like that I damn sure don’t need any enemies.... smh

Damn, that’s how I feel, frfr.

“I don’t just want words. If that’s all you have for me, you’d better go.”

— F. Scott Fitzgerald

On that roller coaster ride! Hands up! Eyes clintched tight! Ima do it with no hands!