How Can Your Heart Get Broken, Yet You’re So Happy For The Situation, Because It’s The Right Way

I’m trying

Damn

I love to turn you on

Life is so busy sometimes, it definitely keeps me preoccupied for the most part, but there’s that time of day, when everything is quiet and still no chill cause damn, then I’m left to deal with forgetting you... forgive and forget right? That’s how I’ve been taught my whole life... my ignorant self jus needs to forget.,. I feel like that’s where healing begins... I’m usually pretty good at this part. Totally the unfortunate time to fall so deep that when you realize it’s there, that you’re feelings are passionate, and exotic with someone that may be the same as you, or as close as you assume it could get.... then to see changes, like a light switch as soon as my guard hits the ground, I feel like I almost hit the ground myself, I must be wrong, I must’ve been fooled, and in some of the worst ways... like automatically backtracking, life situations cause if I’m wrong about this, then I really must not know anyone at all, or I’ve done something fucked up to someone to be catching this shit. I know me, I treat people right, I help others if they need and I can, I stay in my lane, if someone needs me I’m here, so it’s me, I’m ignorant, how do you forget what made you feel this, what played like a friend yet lived like a snake in the grass. Fake, has to be or it would be different, we would at the least be friends, I felt like I bonded with you, it’s not possible to go from that to this.... my head is killing me! I’m jus ready to forget.... Tomorrow is a new day, fresh start... there has to be more to life, good people, somewhere... I’m not gonna let anyone change me... regardless of what anyone else may feel, I kinda like me, I’m a Gemini so I’m a little different but I’m good to others, I smile at someone just because I may get a smile back, and I do what I say. I don’t steal, I may talk your head off or not say two words, I’m a loner at times and a social butterfly mix, yeah. There has to be other good, honest people somewhere, ugh!

If you love her, show her don’t tell her, actions speak so much louder, if she complains when you’re home late, when she is ill with you when you make plans and don’t include her until you make sure it’s ok with ever one else. She is yours she loves you. She needs to know this back, not by words or assumptions. Put her on a pedi stool and see what all she does for you.... just an idea...

Had to repost this

“Don’t take my advice. Or anyone’s advice. Trust yourself. For good or for bad, happy or unhappy, it’s your life, and what you do with it has always been entirely up to you.”

— Nicholas Sparks, The Best of Me (via meineluft)

Wow nice to know that there are other like me....

Maybe a little

So…. I’m still trying to make this marriage to work. I feel like he doesn’t ever want to work through anything, I feel like every time we get into an argument he does something that pulls us even further apart, then God forbid if I bring up anything about the argument because then I’m just bitching, well fuck, we yet to work through the last 5 arguments. So nothing ever changes except when it gets worse…. So QUESTION???

The last situation was, me off my psych meds for like 4 days and that alone is my head going a million miles a min, so I’m a basket case anyways. My aunt had passed away, so it’s the day before her memorial. We were close, I took care of her, up until about a year ago and her son was able to get them a place. Anyways, so the day before my husband happens on on some xans and they help tremendously when my psych meds are missed, and I had a really bad week so I was in between scripts, so for starters he ask where I put them said he was gonna get two of them then leaves with all of them, with me going through what I was, and him to do that, it made me feel like he could give two fucks about me. So if that wasn’t enough he doesn’t get home til after 3 in the morning. I mean it’s everything before me always. I’m done I can’t even finish this story I just want to be able to let it go!!! I can’t do this anymore….. he’s evil I couldn’t treat my worst enemy as shitty as he does me at times. I’m drown to him anymore, I don’t want to be drown to him anymore. I just want it to be over!!!

Idk what to do! I need to figure so many things out. Time is flying by, I want happiness for the both of us wether it’s together or not