I Think I’m Over It! Not Seeing Him Definitely Helped. I Feel A Lot Better. I Feel Like I’m Kinda

I stay in pain all of the time. I was beginning to think that it was in my head until I find out I have some semi serious issues going on, and if I don’t make some changes now, with in 4 years maybe 5 years I’ll be in a wheelchair and that is worse than I could imagine… even though I’ve got proof of this my on and off again husband acts like There’s nothing wrong with me. No matter how I talk to him or try and confide in him, he just acts like I’m faking, or that it’s not that serious. I don’t get it. I mean I would understand if I thought he was worried or concerned at all, but he goes on about life getting to be a little more of an asshole daily. It’s like after he’s been an asshole for a couple days. After he slept on the couch periodically through the week. Then he wakes up one morning and wants to go shopping and do something together. Which I don’t normally I would love. But, it’s really hard to act like everything is OK when it’s been like this. I’m not a light switch. I tried to talk to him I’m trying to explain things how I feel be open. But it’s like he doesn’t even hear me. So I wouldn’t want to go be around him when he makes me feel stupid for asking questions or for not understanding something when all of it comes from the issues that I’m having it’s not my fault I would never make him feel stupid about anything I don’t get people. Especially not him. I Feel like if he wants to stick this out with me and work through this with me. And things would be totally different. I refuse to continue to cause conflict between us for something that I have no control over, this is all too much! But what do I expect when I ever need him the most he’s never been there.

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I was a good friend to him, I brought him in to my home, my family, my friends. I let him cry and hurt and tried to help him through his divorce. I got close with him. I thought we were best friends, then one day just it’s like I’m this scum that he can’t be around per his X ya know, I would’ve told my X to get fucked. Then he treats me different. Don’t seem to worry about different, I could never be so cold. I hope that losing me as a friend is what he wanted cause he fucking got it!

Haven’t posted in a while, my life is so hectic right now. And I saw him today, 6 months of nothing then outta the blue he messaged me, I think we have a bond because we both got hurt around the same time and we held one another together. I don’t fully understand why it went the way it did….. I’m just glad to have you back in my life….. maybe we can help one another again!!!

My father in law of 21 years actually did that to me a few weeks back…. Just acknowledgment was more than anything else that he could’ve said.

“Sometimes when I say “I’m okay”, I need someone to look me in the eyes, hug me tight and say “I know you are not”.”

— Unknown

On that roller coaster ride! Hands up! Eyes clintched tight! Ima do it with no hands!

Wow nice to know that there are other like me....

So true!!

“There are times when I am convinced I am unfit for any human relationship.”

— Franz Kafka, Letters To Felice (via resqectable)