This Is Your Sign To Stop Hurting Yourself. No More Self Harm, Physically, Emotionally, No More Staying

My Connection to IT

I watched the (IT) movies before I read the book. I only rated the movies 3 stars out of 5 and I didn’t expect that I would love the book as much as I did. The book is more sentimental.

I usually have hard times explaining something I like. So, I can’t make people (who haven’t already read it) understand that this book is not just merely a horror book. It creates so many emotions while reading. So I took some time to think about why I actually felt so connected to the story and it turns out that I can relate to most of the main characters.

Eddie: Eddie has some mommy issues as we know. Eddie’s mother Sonia; who is also a single mother, is overprotective of her son. She stresses too much about her son getting sick that it ends up Eddie being a hypochondriac for the rest of his life. As much as Eddie wants to run away from the house he can’t quite get over the fact that his mother actually loves him and there is no one in her world without him. He knows she has him under control, but can’t protest in fear of hurting her. I, too, sometimes feel the same way. My mother loves me very much and I know it. But I also know that she is overprotective towards me which actually makes me suffocate sometimes. But yet, it’s hard to deny the fact that it is love which drives her to do so. I, too, feel like I can’t really leave her behind.

Ben: Ben is such a sweetheart. He is also a bit nerdy like me. He is probably the most loneliest among the losers. I had wondered many times whether I will be lonely too in the future. I do have friends. But I just feel like I’m very different than the person they think I am and this friendship we have are just temporary. I think, like Ben, I will also have to live alone.

Richie: The clown of the group is Richie ‘Trashmouth’ Tozier. His friends usually think he lives the happiest life. But a clown just wears a mask. Behind it who knows what lies. The saddest part is when I realized Richie is the only one who can’t show the true self even in front of his friends. This ‘holding on’ of the emotions is more depressing than anything can ever be. My friends think that I’m also living the best of life. I don’t or simply can’t show what is actually going on in my mind. People will usually describe me as the carefree and funny guy.

These are some of the many things I find similar to myself. Maybe I’m too much sentimental for my own good. But one thing is clear, IT depicts the human nature in an amazing way.

This Yoongi with this Alex <3

Red Hope! - Part 3

Specially requested by @lelewright1234. Hope you enjoy!

Note: This work is totally fictional and has nothing to do with BTS on real life. I mean no hate toward any person in particular. This plotline was requested. Though I personally hate bullies, I still believe there is hope for everyone.

Fandom: BTS Pairing: OT7 × OC (Leah) Warning: Bullies, hospital, drinking, swearing, recurring nightmares, car accidents, blood etc. Genre: Angst Summary: Since Leah is in coma for months, the guilty consciences of the boys are eating them up...

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 (Complete)

*************************************************

“Which one do you want this time?” the florist asked his regular customer.

Jimin looked around for a moment, “Those pink ones over there.”

Jimin had been visiting Leah regularly. Whenever he was done with his dance class every day, he would go to the flower shop to buy new flowers for her.

“She can’t even see those flowers you give her.” Hoseok once told him.

“I don’t care.” Jimin had said, “As long as I’m capable of, I’ll do it. So that whenever she wakes up, the first thing she would see are the beautiful flowers by her bedside.”

Hoseok didn’t argue further. Jimin had been bringing flowers to Leah for the past three weeks. He had also asked Hoseok many times to go with him. But Hoseok never visited her, not even once.

When Jimin went inside Leah’s room, he found Nina sitting beside her.

“Oh! It’s you.” Nina said, “new flowers again?”

Jimin nodded. He went to change the flowers that he had brought yesterday from the vase. Though they were still fresh as new, Jimin would still change them every day.

Nina sighed, “What are the uses of them now? You had never cared about her when she was healthy.”

Jimin didn’t answer. He had asked the same question to himself too. He had been regretting it every day. Only if he knew how much it would hurt him once she was gone, he would have never been terrible to her.

“What are they called?” Nina finally asked.

“Garden Primrose.”

*************************************************

It had been more than two months since Leah had saved them from the accident. She was still in a coma. Nobody knew when she was going to come back or if she would ever come back or not.

Hoseok had thought about her quite a lot. Every time Jimin had asked him to go with him, he had refused. Seeing her still body would be too overwhelming for him.

Today, Hoseok had got up his courage to finally visit her in the hospital. As he looked at her motionless body lying on the bed, his eyes filled with tears. At that precise moment, he had a flashback.

Leah was dancing to her favorite music that day. Hoseok had been watching her secretly. He was awed by her skill. “How smooth her moves are!” he had thought.

Before she had ended her dance, Jimin came to stand beside him. Hoseok felt uncomfortable. For some reason, he couldn’t bring himself to compliment her. Instead of encouraging her for the performance, the boys had joked and laughed at her that day.

Remembering that painful memory, Hoseok couldn’t control his tears. He let them fall. He leaned toward Leah.

“I’m sorry for not appreciating you enough.” Hoseok whispered, “You are truly a gem.”

*************************************************

Min Yoongi had been drinking a lot lately. His mind was racing. He had never felt so helpless before. The only easy way to calm his messy brain was drinking.

He was the worst among the boys. That was what Leah had once told him. He had laughed and said that he was proud about it, that it was rather a compliment.

He remembered how innocent he used to be once. How he had hated all the bullies in his elementary school. He had been scared of the world and hated everyone. But since he had friends, he started to feel more confident.

“How did this happen?” Yoongi questioned himself, “since when did I turn into such a monster?”

He knew he couldn’t undone the damage he had already caused her. He couldn’t even apologize. Seemed like God had taken away that chance from him.

He stroked the piano keys really hard. “Shit,” he swore when his hand banged on a key and it hurt.

He took the bottle beside him and drank. “Guess I’ll just have to drink away all the pain.” He thought.

*************************************************

“Shit” Taehyung had another nightmare, “shit, shit, shit.” He swore while kicking his bed sheets and throwing away his pillow.

Namjoon woke up with a start. “Taehyung,” he called, holding him firmly on his grip. Taehyung opened his eyes wide with full of terror.

“It’s just a dream.” Namjoon reassured him, “You’re alright.”

Taehyung looked confused for a while, trying to process his surroundings, his breathing heavy. As the reality kicked in, he buried his face on his hands. Then he started to sob.

Namjoon brought a glass of water and stood beside Taehyung. He didn’t know what to say. The nightmares were getting more frequent. Maybe he should suggest Taehyung to visit a psychiatrist. Maybe they all should see a psychiatrist. But he wouldn’t dare mention it now to Taehyung. Not when he was in this state.

When he calmed down, Taehyung took the glass and gulped down the water. Then he stood up and walked toward the door.

“Are you going out for fresh air?” Namjoon asked. Taehyung nodded and went out.

On his mind, he was replaying the recurring nightmares he was having since the accident. The contents of the dreams were always similar: The car hitting Leah, her motionless body, the blood coming out of her head. But the thing that terrified Taehyung the most was the blood on his own hands.

Taehyung shivered at the thought of it. It felt like a punishment he was suffering for his past actions.

*************************************************

Namjoon was worried. He worried about himself. He worried about the boys. But mostly, he worried about Leah. Given the chance, he would have gladly taken the place of Leah, saving her and the boys that night. He could have easily given his own life to save theirs.

But karma was a bitch. He knew that they deserved the suffering. They had troubled her enough. Now it was her time to rest while they endured all the pain their guilty conscience had to offer.

It was getting unbearable for Namjoon to see Taehyung waking up from yet another nightmare. Yoongi had started drinking again, the only solution he seemed to have found. Jungkook had stopped going to the school. Even though others were trying hard to act as if everything was fine, he knew deep down they were all hurting.

Namjoon had hard time accepting the situation at first too. But the more he had thought about it, the clearer it became. They had been terrible to Leah. It was only natural for a kind hearted girl like her to smack some sense into them.

Namjoon sat on his table. He took out a pen and a paper. Then, he started to write.

This song was different. He didn’t need to think hard about the rhythm and the lyrics. It was all coming naturally to him. He wrote and wrote until it was done. He was satisfied with the result. The song had everything he wanted to say to Leah. It was a perfect apology.

“If only we could ever sing to her.” Namjoon whispered to himself.

*************************************************

Jungkook hadn’t gone to school for the past two months. Jin had called his teachers to let them know that Jungkook was having a really hard time since the accident. They understood. Or at least that was what they said.

Jungkook spent most of his time on his room. He wouldn’t even come out to eat. Either of his hyungs would bring him whatever was necessary. Without necessity, he wouldn’t even talk to them.

Jungkook felt anger within himself. Some parts of it was directed toward himself. But there was another part of him who had been blaming the other boys.

He remembered the first day Leah had joined during their elementary years. She had been very friendly and kind towards all of them. But all she had ever received from everyone was laughter and teasing.

She had even helped Jungkook with his homework. She had defended him when the teacher had mistaken him for another naughty student in class. Jungkook had liked her a lot. He really wanted to be her friend.

He felt like it was a mistake, bringing her to meet his hyungs. They had teased her and laughed at her that day. Jungkook was being a coward. He couldn’t defend his friend the way she had done him. Instead he had taken his hyungs’ side and bullied her along with them.

Jungkook was angry with himself and the boys.

*************************************************

Jin had been taking care of the boys. Whether they were aware about it or not, he didn’t care. He had been doing it since the very beginning. Being the oldest, he felt like that was his fate.

He had taken Jungkook to school every day when all of them had moved on to the high school. Jungkook was the only one left in the elementary school. He had been cooking for every one with Yoongi’s help. He had never shown his struggle. He had been strong for his boys.

Even now, during this difficult time, he had kept his pain within himself. He was still trying to show his positive side so that the boys would not break down. He was doing everything he was capable of.

He remembered why the bullying had begun in the first place. Jungkook had told them about his new friend in school. He was very excited for them to meet her. But that scared Jin.

Leah, being a black girl, was being bullied by everyone. Jin feared that they would start bullying Jungkook too, once he became friend with her. Jin felt like he had to protect the youngest. It was him who gave the idea of teasing her for fun. The boys had agreed since he was the oldest. What could he do anyway? After all, he was only 14 years old back then.

But now, Jin felt the opposite. He felt like he had lead the boys into doing something terrible. He felt like he was to blame for everything they were going through. He felt like Leah would never forgive him.

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My Masterlist

Thanks. I needed it rn...

You can do the thing. You got this.

Whom I went for VS whom I stayed for... <3

7 Deadly Sins

What is Pride? I am the bride. She’s just a simple maid. It’s my day, Me she must obey. Why would she withstand?

What is Greed? I need bread, Oh there, I have it now! Wish for jam too. Just that won’t do. To have some pizza, how?

What is Lust? A kind of thirst. Oh, how gorgeous he looked! When I winked, Didn’t he blink? That’s how another got booked.

What is Envy? I’m so heavy. How come she’s all skinny? That’s not fair. I must dare, To put her in ignominy.

What is Gluttony? I love this Beanie. But I have three just like it. That doesn’t matter, I’ll buy it better And ignore the homeless on the street.

What is Wrath? Don’t come on my path, Or you will know what pain feels. Did you talk back? Now I’ll thwack. That’s how I know to deal.

What is Sloth? There’s work for both, But I’ll pretend to be sick. So you’ll do it While I just sit And my candies I’ll lick.

This is how many bullets they shot on a fucking kid.

Christmas Special Fluffs

Fandom: BTS Pairing: OT7 x Female Reader Genre: Fluff Notes: It’s a collection of Christmas special one shots of each member in different situation with the reader (not poly). I know, I’m late. A lot of things were going on and I couldn’t manage to write. Sorry about that. Anyway, a very late Merry Christmas to you all...

Sweet Sorry - Kim Namjoon

My already messy apartment now looked messier than ever. As I looked at my tired boyfriend on the couch, I regretted to have agreed to his plan of decorating my place for the Christmas.

“Ugh” Namjoon groaned, “my back hurts so much.”

“Don’t forget that it was all your idea.” I reminded him.

Namjoon shook his head, “I didn’t think your place was such a trash.”

“Well, you can’t blame me.” I shrugged my shoulders, “At least, I warned you.”

I sat down beside him and put my head on his lap. I could feel that my body ached too. Namjoon started to play with my hair. It was one of his favorite things to do.

I looked up at him, “Or we could stop if you want.”

“No, darling!” Namjoon smiled, “Like I had promised, we’re going to make this place look like a heaven.”

And we were back at work; dusting and cleaning the floors, walls, ceilings, windows, arranging the misplaced items, collecting the dirty laundry from different corners of the house, putting the books back to the shelves etc.

A short break. Then, we started to work on the decorations. It was my first time decorating a house for Christmas and my excitement was too much. We made the bed with white and red bed sheets, put different flowers and wreaths all around the place and hung special items on the wall.

Finally, it was time for the best thing among all, decorating the Christmas tree. We put on the fairy lights around it, hung little gingerbread men and other cute items on it and lastly, we needed to put the biggest star on top of it.

“It’s too high. I can’t reach it.” I said, “And also, I don’t have a ladder.”

“But you have me.” Namjoon said with a smile.

I thought he meant to do the job himself as he was much taller than me. But instead, he lifted me up, holding me firmly by my waist. His cheesiness was making me blush. I still managed to set the star in the perfect place.

Taking a look around the place, I was really satisfied with the result. My place had turned to a whole different one. It looked like a heaven indeed. But as soon as my eyes rested on the tree, I frowned.

“Something’s missing.” I said.

Namjoon looked at it’s direction, “What?”

“Of course,” I gasped, “the glass baubles.” I facepalmed myself to have forgotten about my favorite piece of decoration. I looked at Namjoon, “Could you please bring it for me? It’s in my closet.”

Namjoon went straight to the bedroom. As he was returning with the box full of red and white glass baubles on his hands with a smile that showed his dimples, I remembered just how much I loved him.

But the next thing he did was tripping and falling to the floor along with the box full of red and white glass baubles. The smile that had grown on my face earlier disappeared within a second as I heard the glasses being shattered inside. I remembered just how much I hated his clumsiness sometimes.

“I’m so...” Namjoon began but I cut him off.

“Don’t speak.” I said boldly. “It’s done anyway.”

I raged out of the living room and sat down on my bed. I realized I was very exhausted by all the works I had done this evening and I just wanted to sleep. I tried to clear my head. I didn’t want to think of the disaster that just happened.

I could hear Namjoon cleaning up the mess outside. It sort of broke my heart. Minutes later, he peaked into my room. I still couldn’t bring myself to say anything. He came to sit beside me and said, “I’m sorry.”

“I know.” I answered.

He placed a soft kiss on my cheek and said again, “I’m sorry.” It was one of my favorite things that he did. I still didn’t budge.

He kissed me once again and said, “I’m really sorry, darling.” He was whining like a little child at this point. And I couldn’t help but laugh. Namjoon’s worried face beamed with relief.

“Alright!” I said, “I think we can go one Christmas without glass baubles.”

Grandma’s Special Recipe - Kim Seokjin

I was weeping for the past few minutes as the nostalgia of my childhood hit really hard. Earlier I had found an old diary of my grandma while cleaning the house. There weren’t much personal but more like important business stuffs written on it.

But among them, I had found my grandma’s recipe for making the famous gingerbread house we used to make every Christmas. Reading that reminded me of my late grandma and our memories together. I couldn’t help but cry at the sudden overwhelming feeling in my heart.

My fiancé, Jin, came back from work at that time. As soon as he saw me he called, “Jagi!” I quickly wiped away the tears and tried to smile at him. I didn’t mean for him to see me like that.

He held me in his arms and asked, “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah!” I sniffed, “I’m fine.”

“What is it, jagi?” He looked at me again, trying to read my face. Then he suddenly gasped, “Oh my God!”

I looked up at him in confusion. He beamed with sudden joy and asked the dumbest possible question, “Are we going to have a baby? Are you pregnant?”

“What? NO!” I was shocked at his stupidity, “It’s just that I found my grandma’s diary and it reminded me of her.”

Jin just replied with an “Oh!”

I went back to my bed and held up the page of the recipe for him to see. He took the diary from me and checked it. The recipe was cut out from an old newspaper and there were hand written notes of my grandma everywhere, making changes where she had thought was necessary.

Jin let out a chuckle and said, “Jagi, this sounds like a lot of fun. We should try it this Christmas.”

I was so glad to hear that. “Really?”  I asked, “Do you think you can do that?”

“Of course!” Jin said with confidence, “Though I won’t say it will be exactly like your grandma’s one. But I will do my best.”

Even though I wasn’t very good at baking, I still tried to help Jin in every possible way. I bought the groceries myself and prepared all the necessary utensils needed for the procedure. I also promised Jin that I would do the dishes once everything was done.

Jin started to work, yelling me orders in between. But my mood was too good to be ruined by his little insults. I worked rather enthusiastically. I stirred the mixture on the stove, batted the dough, cut the little doors and windows, even helped Jin with the icing.

After hours of much works, it was done. The house had been decorated perfectly. It looked almost like my grandma’s. I clicked a picture before cutting the gingerbread house. At first bite, the smell instantly reminded me of older times, though the taste wasn’t exactly the same.

“What do you think?” Jin asked curiously.

“It’s great.” I nodded, “Thank you so much for doing this.” I wrapped my hands around his neck. “Tell me what can I offer you in return?”

“You know exactly what I want.” Jin smirked at me.

I gasped, “You mean, a baby?”

Jin gave me a warm smile and spoke, “Nope. I want you to do the dishes, instead.”

Peppermint Love - Min Yoongi

“So tell me, why am I finding it out just now and that too, from Hoba?” I could hear Yoongi from the other side of the phone call. His voice suggested that he was really annoyed.

Basically what happened was this; Yoongi was delaying his Christmas plan, which was to be with his family, because I had no one for my Christmas celebration this year. Since, it was our first Christmas after getting together, Yoongi wasn’t very happy leaving me alone. But I had forced him to go because his family had been planning for a special party and it wouldn’t look nice if their youngest son was absent there.

But the worst happened. I fell sick the day before Christmas. It was a seasonal sickness for me but still pretty bad, as always, to handle. The fever and the blocked nose wasn’t making me feel very Christmas in my lonely hours. Still, I didn’t want to spoil Yoongi’s mood. So naturally, I kept my mouth shut.

“I thought I could trust Hobi for once.” I said, equally annoyed.

Yoongi sighed. “Is it too bad?” his voice was soft now.

“No!” It was definitely a lie since I could feel that a headache was also added to my list of discomforts.

“You shouldn’t have forced me to come to this party.” Yoongi said, “I would rather be with you.” Before I could say anything he already hung up.

As the hours ticked by I realized how terribly lonely I felt. Yoongi was in a whole different city and my own family was at the opposite side of the continent. I was also hungry but wasn't in a shape to make anything for myself. So, I called the Pizza place near my house and ordered my favorite one, the pepperoni.

The bell rang. I had to get up from the bed and slowly head towards the door. My whole body ached even at the slightest effort. But behind the door, I didn’t meet the delivery guy but my boyfriend instead.

“Yoongi?” I was surprised.

He shook his head in mere annoyance and hold up the huge bags he was carrying on both of his hands. “Let me put this things down first.”

He went straight to the dining room and put the bags on the table. I still couldn’t believe it. Yoongi had driven more than a hundred kilometers road on the Christmas Eve and he left his family to be with me instead.

Yoongi turned to me and said. “Let’s eat the food before it gets cold.”

That was when I hugged him right away. Yoongi let out a sigh and a few seconds later, he embraced me into his arms.

I was overwhelmed by his presence in my lonely state. I took in the warmth and his familiar soothing scent. The smell of his perfume mixed with the after-shave was intoxicating.

I finally let go and informed, “But I’ve already ordered Pizza.”

Yoongi smiled, “A little more food during Christmas won’t hurt.”

The table was set and the hot food served. We ate and talked and laughed and cried out of too much laughter. It was such a merry time that I almost forgot I was sick.

But my fever rose at the end of the night and I was curled up in my bed, shivering. Yoongi touched my forehead to detect the amount of heat and frowned. Then, he went to the kitchen to prepare something special.

Peppermint tea, something I never quite liked. But as I had a cold and the tea was warm, I accepted it rather gratefully. A soft ‘thank you’ left my mouth as I took the cup from his hands. Yoongi sat beside me and watched quietly as I sipped my tea. I wondered what I had ever done to deserve this.

Wrapped - Jung Hoseok

Shopping for all of them who were coming to our Christmas party was exhausting. But the worse was wrapping them in gift papers by ourselves. Since it was our first Christmas together after we had moved in together, my boyfriend Hoseok wanted it to be a special one. And hand-wrapped gifts sounded special indeed.

“Do you have any idea how long we’ve been doing this, Hobi?” I asked, a little annoyance in my voice.

“C’mon, goldie!” Hoseok said in the cutest tone, “Don’t talk like that. We should be doing this with joy.”

“Joy, my foot.” I muttered.

“Uh-uh.” Hobi did another cute sound effect while moving his index finger side to side, indicating I shouldn’t have said that.

I didn’t respond. Instead, I walked out of the living room to my bedroom. I waited for a moment to see if Hobi followed me. When I was sure he had gone back to work, I did what I had been planning the whole evening to do.

I hid Hobi’s Christmas gift, a fancy watch, which I had bought secretly from the shop today, in his closet. So that, next morning he would find them himself while I’d be fast asleep.

Then, I went back to work along with my hard working boyfriend. We finished them all by midnight and arranged them neatly under the Christmas tree. Wishing each other merry Christmas and kissing goodbye, we went to bed.

“Holly Molly!” Hobi exclaimed in the morning and I woke up with a start. “What did my little bumble bee bought without me knowing, huh?”

I sat on the bed and smiled, “Check it yourself, my little sunflower.”

Hobi opened up the present, giggling like a little child. His eyes were shining when he saw what was inside.

“Did you like it?” I asked.

Hobi beamed at me and said, “What are you talking about? It’s fabulous.”

Everyone was busy searching for their gift and opening them. There was a lot of chaos among our family and friends. Watching them liking what we had got them, made me feel like it was all worth it.

“Hey!” Taehyung called me, “Here’s one addressed to you too.”

“For me?” I asked. At first, I was a little confused. But then, I realized that Hobi had planned to hid my gift among all the others. I took the small box from Taehyung.

Hobi hugged me before I could open it and whispered in my ears, “Merry Christmas, honey!” Inside the box was a ring. My head stopped working for a while. Looking back at Hobi, I almost teared up.

He was on his knees.

Sexy, Cutie, Lovely - Park Jimin

Christmas this year was full of snow. And there was no way we could step out of our house in this weather. So, Jimin and I had planed for a movie marathon night. Being the movie freak as I was, the job of selecting the best movies came to me.

You could imagine how pissed I was when Jimin started to act uninterested through the second movie. At first, he tried talking in between scenes. When I refused to join his unfitting conversation, he started to complain about how all the movies I chose were so boring, even though it was ‘Home Alone’ which we were watching at that time.

“You can go and sleep.” I said, “I’m gonna finish my boring marathon alone tonight. And I’m perfectly happy to do away with you.”

“What?” Jimin pretended to look cute while being shocked, “you’re abandoning me for these movies?” I gave a stiff nod and he started to whine and threw a tantrum like a child.

“Acting cute will take you nowhere, Park Jimin.” I stated flatly.

He put his head on my lap and said with a smirk, “But it took me to your heart.”

“Stop being a cringe and move out of the way.” I pushed his head.

After minutes of doing puppy eyes and pouty faces, when I still didn’t budge, Jimin walked away from me. But he was back within a minute wearing his night gown which I had commented he looked sexy in ages ago.

“What does it suppose to mean?” I raised one of my eyebrows.

“It means,” Jimin threw himself on the couch next to me dramatically and said, “I’m getting ready for bed.” The last word, he said in a whisper, clearly indicating the obvious.

I scoffed in reply and kept my eyes fixed on the TV. Jimin moved on the couch in a certain way to get closer and carefully snaked his hands around my waist. I knew what he was capable of doing to me. But I refused to give in.

I slapped his hand and said, “Stop bothering me.”

Jimin took away his hands, a frown growing on his forehead. Then, he walked away stomping his feet, muttering “Stop this! Stop that!” I almost laughed out loud.

After half an hour of watching the movie alone, I realized it was indeed boring. No offense to my all time favorite ‘Home Alone’ but I was missing Jimin beside me. I sighed and turned off the TV.

Jimin was already fast asleep. He looked like an angel in this innocent state of unconsciousness. I could look at him for the whole night and still wouldn’t get bored. I smiled to myself.

“My lovely Jiminie!”

You’re My Boy - Kim Taehyung

Apparently, five layers of clothes weren’t enough to keep you comfortable on a snowy night out on the street. I wasn’t foolish enough to have come out into the open at this time either. But unfortunately I had a boyfriend who was extremely stubborn. I knew, I wouldn’t be able to lift his mood up the whole Christmas if I didn’t come out to play with him in the snow just now.

So, here I was, struggling to throw a single snow ball at my childish boyfriend, who had been continuously throwing enough of them at me by which I could have built a huge snowman.

“Please!” I begged him as another ball hit my shoulder, “Stop it already. I’m so tired.”

Taehyung came running at me with a smile on his face. “You’re not fun to play with.” he tried to mock me.

“I know!” I huffed out, “Can we do something else? Something fun?”

Taehyung thought for a moment. Just before I could offer him to play a nice game of monopoly inside our warm room, he yelled in excitement, “Let’s make a snowman!”

“What?” I asked in disbelieve, “No way!”

But Taehyung always had his way. So, we were rather doing what he had suggested instead of what I had thought of even if mine was a rational decision anyone would have agreed upon.

Building a snowman was harder than it looked. I remembered to have done it when I was just a kid. Those times, I always had my sisters and parents to help me. The shapes were never right. Taehyung wasn’t satisfied with them at all and we had to rebuild it from the base every time.

Finally, we managed to make the perfectly symmetrical balls, the upper one half the size of it’s base. Taehyung nodded his approval and I sighed in relief. I was grateful that Taehyung let me do the most interesting works; putting the buttons, eyes, mouth and the carrot for a nose. I finished the final task perfectly and looked back at my boyfriend.

And there it was. The boxy smile. When my eyes stopped at his perfectly wide grinning face, I felt like the time had slowed down. The snow was falling rather dramatically. My surrounding suddenly looked more romantic than it did even a few minutes ago.

Taehyung looked at me and tilted his head in confusion. “Baby?” he called, “Why are you staring at me like that?”

I suddenly realized what I was doing. I chuckled and shook my head to let out those romantic thoughts away. I decided that the romance could wait. Instead, I let his inner child enjoy this rare moment for now.

First Mistletoe Kiss - Jeon Jungkook

Finally, the party was over and all the boring people left the house. When I had done my share of cleaning up, my mother allowed me to go to bed. I picked up my phone as soon as I reached my room and locked the door.

“Oh shit!” I swore. Five missed calls and a text! And all of them were from the same person; Jeon Jungkook.

Jungkook was my neighbor and I had known him for a year. I had liked him since day one. Little did I know that he had liked me as well until last week when he had asked me to be his girlfriend. Naturally, I said yes. But over the week, I got to know the Jungkook behind those doe eyes and bunny smile. He was quite stubborn and possessive in nature.

Five missed calls on Christmas Eve from him could mean disaster. I hastily checked the text.

“I don’t want to be that clingy boyfriend asking for attention when you’re having fun. So, I’m texting you instead. Merry Christmas.”

I got the tone of the message. Jungkook had a habit of always ending a text with calling me love. But he hadn’t done that here. Especially when it was supposed to be a merry Christmas text. That was not a good sign.

Since I had a pretty strict family, the fact that I had a boyfriend before I graduated high school was a secret. So, I checked whether my parents had already gone to bed or not before calling Jungkook right away.

“Wow!” I heard Jungkook speak, “You remembered me!”

“I’m so sorry. kookie!” I pleaded in a half whisper. “There were so many people. And you know my mother. She doesn’t allow phones in front of the guests.”

Jungkook remained silent for a while. Then he spoke again, “I wanna meet.”

“What?” I raised my voice unexpectedly, “You mean, now?”

“Yes!” Jungkook said, “Don’t you dare say no! I’m not going to bed without seeing you.”

I thought for a moment. Everyone was tired as hell. There was no way my mother would come to check on me at this time. I decided I would take this risk. “C’mon!” I told myself, “It’s Christmas!”

“Love?” Jungkook called.

“Meet me at the store.” I said, “And don’t forget to buy me Cheetos.”

Jungkook was waiting with a packet of Cheetos by the store door. A big smile spread across his face when he saw me. I gave him a quick hug and started complaining about how bored I was during the whole party and how much I had thought of him.

Jungkook kept on smiling and feeding me the Cheetos in between as I was too busy ranting about my misery. I stopped when I realized that Jungkook hadn’t spoken at all.

“Don’t keep staring at me like that.” I said.

Jungkook chuckled and said, “I can spend a whole lifetime hearing you talk.”

“That was cringey!” I said as I felt heat rushing to my cheeks.

“Look!” Jungkook pointed up to a mistletoe hanging above the store door. “It’s not every Christmas you get to stand under the mistletoe with your boyfriend by your side.”

I knew exactly what he meant. I was rather doubting if it was a coincidence at this point. The thought of Jungkook wanting a kiss from me sent a shiver down my spine. I looked down in embarrassment.

“Wait a minute!” Jungkook said, “Haven’t you ever kissed under a mistletoe before?”

“Actually,” I mumbled, “I’ve never kissed anyone before.”

A visible shocking expression spread on Jungkook’s face. When recovered, he cleared his throat, “Let me be your first, then.”

Carefully, he closed the distance between us. Then, he cupped my face on his hands and asked, “May I?”

When I nodded my ‘yes’, he gently kissed my lips. He let go and whispered softly, “Merry Christmas, love.”

My Masterlist

The Words (2012)

I am not sure that I can put the perfect words together to express how much I am touched by this movie. But I want to write. I have to express something about what I think about it.

Basically, it’s a movie about a writer reading his book about a writer who’ve stole a story of another writer. Sounds crazy, right? The movie itself is insanely great.

It’s definitely a 5/5. This movie is everything I search for in a movie. It has a great storyline, the drama is intense and heartbreaking, but most importantly, it has got a feeling of it’s own. The mixture of two stories in two different era created an art.

The cast is amazing. I can’t imagine someone else playing the younger version of Jeremy Irons other than Ben Barnes. There is something very similar between them. Bradley Cooper and Zoe Saldana were the perfect choice as a couple.

I will never stop recommending this movie. It is very underrated.

For the people who haven’t still watched it: Do yourself a favour, take a break and watch the damn movie.

Miss Lupin

Summary: Emma is the daughter of Remus Lupin, who was born at the same time as Harry Potter. Lupin’s wife had been killed by the death eaters just after the birth of her. So, Remus decided to keep her a secret to protect her from Voldemort and sent her to a muggle family to be raised as a muggle. Now after a long time, Lupin decides to pay her a visit.

Characters: Remus Lupin and Emma.

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I was at the beach in the middle of the night all by myself. My parents were fighting again over something I couldn’t figure out. So, I decided to take a break from my studies and came out to the nearby beach for fresh air.

Nobody from my family has any interest on reading or anything of the sort. I, on the other hand, is a bookworm. I feel a connection between me and books. However, the family I call my own is not actually my real family. I was delivered to my parent’s (who doesn’t have their own kids) doorway one night with a letter saying to keep me well. They had done their best.

The environment was so fresh, it calmed my mind. I kept looking at the sea blankly. Suddenly I felt a presence behind me. I looked back quickly and found a man smiling at me.

The man had scars on his face and his smile didn’t seem to be a friendly one. I suddenly remembered that I was alone at the beach with no one else. Fear got into me like a flash.

The man might have sensed it. “Don’t worry, child.” said the man “I’m harmless.”

“Who are you?” I asked rather loudly.

The man smiled again. This time it felt comforting. “My name is Remus, if that’s what you meant.” said the man.

I kept quiet for I knew he would say more. The man took some steps towards me and said “I hoped you were fine with them.”

“With who?” I asked, really confused.

“Your parents.” said Remus.

“I am fine with them.”

“Really?” the man raised his eyebrows “But they are not your real parents, are they?”

“That doesn’t matter to me as long as they love me like I was one of their own.” I said, frowining “How did you know that?”

The man completely ignored my question and asked another one instead “Don’t you miss your real parents?”

“I don’t remember them at all, sir.”

“Do you want to meet them someday?” the man said hopefully.

“No, sir.” I said sternly.

The man sighed. “I’m glad that you are actually happy with your life. There are more complicated lives that people are living.”

“But...” He cut me shortly and said “I better go now. Good-bye, Emma.”

I looked back at a shouting. “My God, Emma. You’re here. We were looking for you everywhere.” my mother came running to me, my father behind her.

I turned to look at the man, but he was gone.

Who was he? How did he know so much about me? Could it be that he was my guardian angel looking after me?

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