I’m Legitimately Going Crazy And I Feel Like I’m Out Of Control. I Need Friends. I Need A Life. I

When I die nobody will be at my funeral

My hands got soaked in blood from punching my legs so hard it re-opened my self harm from a couple of hours ago

Lol can you fucking imagine Look at this stupid bullshit I am such a fucking faker Jesus Christ No wonder people pump and fucking dump me I’m not worth anything besides sex and to be abused Jesus Christ No Fucking Wonder people sexually assault me then Leave me I fucking deserve it Lol I’m suchafucking idiot I am So fucking Stipid I am worthless not even my own boyfriendlikes me😭😂😂bi am so ugly Jesus Christ I am so fucking ugly inside and out I need to get killed

I’m grateful for my screenshots of so many new music recommendations to listen to in my phone! I’m grateful that because it’s a holiday my mom let me have two tiny shots of fireball! I’m grateful that I get to wake up early in the morning to watch my favorite cartoon before bed as if im a child despite being 18! I am so grateful to re-try a drink I once loved, don’t appreciate anymore, then take a sip of my favorite drink to remind me again why it’s my favorite! I am grateful for my five senses to be able to view the world!

I’m grateful for being alive even though there are days where I am blinded by my traumatizing experiences. I love my life and I love myself. I am growing up and that is amazing! Everything will be okay. Everything will be so very okay.

I’m so fucking sad man why do I have to be like this I can’t take it

I miss you so much im sorry that j was the way I was I’d change for you I promise I would please just let me back into your life I love you I miss you I’m sorry

I dont know what specifically happened, but I don’t think I really need this account anymore. I mean I’ll still use it, what I meant is that I don’t think I feel as empty as I did when I first started.

I got a job and I love it. I finally got my permit after about 3 tries. I an getting out way more. I am dating the ACTUAL love of my life and am getting closer and closer with him. I’m getting closer to my irl friends. I’m doing … mostly ok in school, but I’m not worried about it. It’s my last year in school. I’m in therapy and I get along with my therapist. I feel more confident about myself and my body. I have proper medication that really works. I have a new special interest. I’ve been extremely creative, both art + music + edit & even writing wise. I’ve been finding some new music that has been inspirational to me. I’m sort of re-developing my clothing style. I have a wicked ass tattoo. Ive been smoking weed and having fun with that. Whenever I think of her I dismiss it and move on. I have amazing friends both online and irl and am developing decently normal relationships. I’m laughing so much more. I’m becoming more independent. I’ve redeveloped a love for energy drinks, specifically Monster. People have been more kinder to me. I am a trendsetter at my school and everyone talks about me. Im about to get a big paycheck. When I get my proper driver’s license, I’m going to be able to drive around. Im getting my issues solved. Next year I will HOPEFULLY be able to get a house with my partner and we can live on our own.

There’s so much more, but I can’t list them all. Im pretty forgetful. I just think I am healing. There are times where I feel like im not, and where I relapse back into old habits but I believe I’ve been getting better at that. I think that in general I am getting better. I am more grateful for the little things in life. I have no need to look back on the past, get upset about the past, etc. What’s done is done and there’s nothing I can change besides how my future will end up. I have people who love and support me forever and I am glad I do. Whether it’s 2 people or 20, I am happy I am in their presence. I think I am getting okay. It’s only up from here everyone

Somebody please fucking help me I can’t take this anymore

I’m going to relapse and mutilate myself unrecognizable

I don’t know what to do anymore I feel so dull

Shit doesn’t get better I’m so sick of everyone telling me that my life is genuinely horrible I need to die oh my fucking god I’m so angry at myself I just want to fucking die