I Miss You So Much Im Sorry That J Was The Way I Was I’d Change For You I Promise I Would Please Just

I’m so excited to finally fucking do it I am so excited about it I think it may be the only thing making me happy anymore. Knowing I don’t have to deal with this shit anymore. I don’t have to be perfect or fake for anybody or those stupid fucking cunt “friends” of mine I can finally just leave without a trace and move on. Everyone else can move on. I will be forgotten about and my online presence will disappear and dissipate and I just can’t fucking wait. What was once a stain will finally be thoroughly cleansed and taken care of. I will not be a mistake to humanity anymore. I will finally be able to forgive myself

I genuinely am such a fucking loser

Borderline ruins my fucking life everyday I actually can’t do this I feel like im just going to breakdown

I hate this so much I just wish I was fucking normal I feel guilt and shame and embarrassment. And fucking stupid. I’m so fucking stupid. I am so goddamn dumb im a fucking home im so paranoid and feel so fucking awful

I’m such a fucking loser and I’m fucked up beyond the point of recovery I’ll never get better I’m cursed to be this way forever I hate staying up I hate being alive I need to kill myself I need to fucking kill myself im such a worthless fucking retard oh my god I need to get fucking killed so bad oh my god I fucking hate my boyfriend and my life and my “friends” I hate everything I want to die why the fuck can I not fucking die

I miss my mom so much I can’t stop bawling my fucking eyes out

My head hurts

I don’t feel as hurt as I would’ve back then. I’m still just upset thinking about you too hard though. I hate this shit so much. I just want you to hurt. I dont Even Need you to miss me, I just want you to hurt and realize what you did was wrong. I can’t even understand how you couldn’t see what you did to me was wrong

I’m hurting both physically and mentally it feels like I’m back with Her I just want to be beautiful to you

I don’t know what to do anymore I feel so dull