How Tall Is Bruce And Thomas Wayne?

trying to prove a point to the boys at school

reblog this if you believe trans men are real men like this if you dont

re: Anakin and Obi Wan teaching Rey all the 'good moves' - one day she's gonna bust out one of those as a hail mary and it'll work and Luke's gonna be all 'YOU'VE BEEN TALKING TO MY FATHER, HAVEN'T YOU!!!'

[The Resistance, trapped in some skirmish, facing Impossible Odds] Poe: REY! We’re surrounded! Do something! Be a Jedi, damn it! Do some…Jedi stuff!Rey: [frantic] But I’ve only had two weeks of part-time Jedi training! And my instructor was severely depressed during the entire duration! And the only other Jedi I’ve ever met have been dead for several decades, and they’re really weird!Rose: [hurling a grenade] What?!Finn: [fighting back a hail of blaster fire] WELL TRY SOMETHING, REY, OR WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!Rey: Uh…um…OK…well…[calls upon the Force and tentatively strikes a Serious Pose][everyone freezes; the encroaching First Order halts] Finn: [almost passes out]Kylo: [stepping forward, intrigued but mostly pissed off] Oh, sure! You think you’re the heir apparent, don’t you?! Well, check THIS out! [pauses, tousles his hair and pouts] Hux: [shaken] …good gods. Rey: [intensely] Ha! Take this! [dramatically drops her cloak as a choir kicks in] Kylo: …amateur. [drops his cloak, does an unnecessary backflip, swooshes his lightsaber around]Rey: Hmmph! [pulls her hair out of a ponytail, winks at a random First Order officer] Hello there. Poe: [flushed] …oh, kriff.Finn: [sitting down] …I’m gonna die. Rose: [decidedly impressed] Wow.   Kylo: [rips his shirt off] Rey: [jumps on top of a nearby cliff as the clouds part and a sunbeam shines on her, a giant gust of wind coming out of nowhere][12 hours later]Luke’s Force Ghost: [shaking his head] …you guys got to her, didn’t you? Anakin’s Force Ghost: [camped out, watching this while eating popcorn] …and I am not sorry. Look at them go! She’s amazing. And, I hate to say it, but my grandson is hanging in there. I’ve never seen anything like this!Obi-Wan’s Force Ghost: Incredible! A quadruple dramatic disrobe! Where did she even get all those extra cloaks?!Yoda’s Force Ghost: [pouring champagne while tearing up] So proud, I am. 

ok as amazing as Twilight of Apprentice was how funny would it have been if Ahsoka was just beyond done with Anakin’s bullshit™ and just screamed “FUCK OFF SKYGUY” everytime she saw Vader

“The man you knew as Anakin Skywalker is de-”

“Cut the shit, Anakin, I know it’s you. You just flew in standing on top of your TIE fighter and there’s only one fucker in the galaxy who’s that extra”

a non-comprehensive list of things wonder woman has canonically done

aka why you should read the comics if you haven’t already

snuck out of themyscira when she was 15 and ended up having a dance-off on Dance Dance Retribution

started a band named Bullets and Bracelets

punched a man for 10 million dollars and used the money to help low-income daycare centers

suggested people try craiglist if they’re too poor to afford being punched by her

got down on her hands and knees to stick her tongue out at a lizzard

makes mistakes in english when she’s upset/worried because it’s not her first language never have i felt so identified with anything, ever

“it was not for you, steven. it was because i must.”

officiated several gay weddings

made ‘kal-el’ the word for brother in themysciran after superman confessed he was lonely growing up

bought lois lane a drink after she helped her defeat some aliens by throwing dirt at them it was a very gay issue i gotta say

 “… is very sugar” was her reaction to coca cola

wore a hijab while helping with a flood in the punjab

refused to ally herself with any government, repeatedly

“the lasso compels truth, but it can’t stop mansplaining”

feel free to add because this woman is fucking golden

About death

reblog and make a wish! this was removed from tumbrl due to “violating one or more of Tumblr’s Community Guidelines”, but since my wish came true the first time, I’m putting it back. :)

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Crack

Cedric: What did you want to tell me, Harry?

Harry: Have my babies

Cedric: ...

Harry: I mean, the first task is dragons

---

McGonagall: Potter, who is your partner for the Yule Ball?

Ron: *kicks down the door while in a stunning blue dress and four-inch heels*

Ron: It's me, bitches.

---

Ron: My dad sent you this to help with the second task

Ron: *opens up box to reveal a bunch of rubber duckies*

---

Harry: Can you give me advice on how to talk to girls?

Sirius: *stares at Harry blankly while the Mii theme plays*

---

*Quidditch world cup*

Arthur: Hey, where's Percy?

Harry: I'll go check

*five minutes later*

Harry, traumatized: He's fucking my old Quidditch captain

---

Draco: *sees Harry and Ron dancing at the Yule Ball*

Draco: MY FATHER WILL HEAR ABOUT THIS

*later*

Draco, writing a letter: Dear Father, I have never been so heart broken or betrayed

okay i know Hardeen was a Terrible arc for everyone involved, but what if Obi Wan had told Anakin about faking his death? Anakin’s like no worries dude I Got This, except he really. does not,,

the only reason his “acting” is remotely believable is because almost no one has seen him like this before, so it must be due to all the grief and loss and heartbreak and anger and whatnot

he starts by sobbing over Obi Wan’s supposedly dead body for a solid two hours when Obi gets shot down. “LOOK at him, so cold and Lifeless. D: HE IS SUPPOSED TO BE WARM AND FULL OF LIFE, SNIPS. I know last week I checked his pulse because he was meditating so calmly I thought he passed away in his sleep, BUT HE’S USUALLY SO WARM AND FULL OF LIFE.”

It goes on until Anakin has finished everything on his painstakingly written Outline from last night. At least half of Coruscant hears part of this speech. Mace sends Obi the security footage later, at a time he knows Anakin will be there to sit through it with Obi, because if we had to suffer then you do too, Obi Wan. 

then at the funeral, Anakin pulls out a twenty foot scroll of real actual paper, because he would appreciate this, I think, and clears his throat loudly and messily before telling the council that he has prepared a few words for the greatest jedi this order, nay, this GALAXY has ever seen, and will ever see, no matter how long any of us live—

five hours later,, he’s still going strong. half the eulogy is Terrible and V Cringeworthy, but the other half is actually v heartfelt and moving. even Mace and Yoda have to blink away some tears. 

it becomes easier after Anakin starts going into Unnecessary Details about obi wan’s life, like how he’ll miss holding onto those heavy 327 thread count woolen robes when he’s saving obi’s ass (curvature 48.5 degrees) for the 23094th time, and how he’ll never see a more sincere expression of Compassion than he saw when reading line 83 of Obi Wan’s eighth letter to Duchess Satine last month, quoted now as follows— 

Ahsoka enlists Plo Koon’s help and they finally shuffle him over to the side, promising him they can finish his fake eulogy at the council dinner tonight. Obi Wan’s death may be fake, but MY WORDS ARE REAL, SNIPS, HOW DARE YOU. says Anakin, before he (a little gleefully) starts destroying the walls to show how Emotionally Compromised he is over this 100% real death. 

he takes the 212th drinking, after having told all of them, too. so now there are 293637 men crying about Obi Wan (relatable af, y/y), all of which have the acting talent of a wilted blade of grass. there are 283747 toasts, and every single person there cries for each and every one of them, despite everyone knowing obi is still alive

The batclan has been exposed to so many toxins over the years that their blood is toxic to anyone else but each other.

bruce uses his Dad Nicknames when he’s exhausted. Some examples to explain what I mean:

—

“Damian, baby, kiddo, please drop that sword.”

—

“Cassandra, my only daughter, my sweetheart, if you could just stop for one short moment.”

—

“Dick, my first born, my rock, get off the chandelier.”

—

“Jay, lad, you’re driving your old man insane, chum.”

—

“Brilliant, brilliant Tim, please go to sleep.”

—

“Stephanie, honey, you don’t even fucking live here.”