A Non-comprehensive List Of Things Wonder Woman Has Canonically Done

Midtown decides to throw a talent show, and Tony tries to talk Peter into participating.

Tony: You can dance! I’ve seen you groovin’ before and you’ve got talent, kid.

Peter: First of all, don’t say “groovin’” - it makes you sound ancient. Second of all, my single only talent is the ability to cry on the spot. Watch.

Peter, thinking about those sad animal shelter commercials: *bursts into tears*

Tony, alarmed: Are you fucking okay?

Obi-Wan: “Chancellor Palpatine, Sith Lords are our speciality!”

Ahsoka Tano, fifty thousand light years away and running for her life through a burning landscape as a grinning Sith Lord chases her:  “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!”

are you ever on your phone looking at gay shit and then your parent starts coming towards you, so you keep scrolling down to try and get the gay shit off of your feed and then realise there is no escape and you’re actually scrolling through a bottomless pit of gay shit?

ok as amazing as Twilight of Apprentice was how funny would it have been if Ahsoka was just beyond done with Anakin’s bullshit™ and just screamed “FUCK OFF SKYGUY” everytime she saw Vader

“The man you knew as Anakin Skywalker is de-”

“Cut the shit, Anakin, I know it’s you. You just flew in standing on top of your TIE fighter and there’s only one fucker in the galaxy who’s that extra”

The Master Plan

[the entire cast standing around in the ruins of Death Star II, aghast] Kylo: [whispers] …what the fuck. Lando: Seriously?! This guy? Again? Anakin’s Force Ghost: [furious] This makes no sense! I killed you! Me! The Chosen One! Just like the stupid prophecy said I would! Luke’s Force Ghost: Yeah, and I saw it happen with my own two eyes! And then the Death Star was destroyed! How could you possibly have – Sidious: [bored, examining his nails] Hmm? Survived? [chuckles] Well you see, you fools, I knew all of this was going to happen. It was all part of the plan. [yawns] Quite underwhelming, I’m afraid. I was hoping for a bit more of a challenge. Leia: What?! Sidious: [sighing] Oh very well: yes, it all goes back to when my Master and I used midi-chlorians to create life. [to Anakin] That’d be you, son. Then, of course, I figured we’d better see to it that he spent his first several years with his mother on Tatooine, forming an attachment and also developing many feelings about slavery, both of which I could use to manipulate him later. Anakin: What. [Two Hours Pass] Sidious: …do you have any idea how expensive it is to pay for a custom-built clone army AND cover the cost of the upkeep on a massive droid army at the same time, and keep tabs on where all the money is going? And also how annoying it is to have to manage all that while having to continually meet with Anakin, and be forced to listen to him blather on about Senator Amidala or General Kenobi for hours at a time, nodding and pretending I gave a bantha’s hide about his feelings!? Force, there were a couple of rough years in there, but I persevered because I knew – I knew – I was nearly one-fifteenth of the way through my plan… [Another three hours. Most of the cast is sitting down on the floor now, and a couple people have nodded off.] Sidious: …I knew that I couldn’t trust Vader any further than I could throw him – or perhaps, any further than he could throw me – so I ensured that, upon being thrown into the abyss, I would be able to keep myself from dying. [smirks] Yes, that’s right, Anakin, I did always know how to do it, I just wasn’t going to tell you… [Two more hours] Sidious: …Captain Solo would of course marry General Organa, and their birth control would fail at a precise, critical point in history, due to defective pharmaceuticals I had queued up to be released to market years before… [Two hours later] Sidious: …directed Supreme Leader Snoke to begin following the young Ben Solo on Twitter, knowing that he would be entirely impressed with Snoke’s – my – takes on democracy… [Three more hours later] Sidious: …thus leaving the New Republic in shambles. Then, of course, it would be only a matter of time before Luke would somewhat overcome his depression with the help of Master Yoda’s ghost, and die projecting himself across the galaxy in an attempt to stop Kylo and the First Order. [smirks] And then, and only then, would the time be right for my full return to the galactic stage. [cackles, shoots Force lightning into the air] Yoda: [scrubs his face with his hands] Rey: I…but how… Sidious: …did I know I could pull it off? My dear girl, it was all too easy. This galaxy is remarkably predictable. And not especially bright. And very easily confused. Especially the uh, male Skywalker contingent. [looks over at them pointedly] Luke: [building a daisy chain] Hmm? Anakin: [whispering, to Kylo] He’s talking about you. Obi-Wan: [facepalms]

ok so i have this hc that’s like immortal!percy except it’s not because he accepted the gift.

we know that the gods are basically manifestations of culture and that they can change and disappear because of changes in culture.

and percys been through horrible things and has done incredible things and he’s basically legendary around camp. and we have fannon where he’s known all throughout ny boarding schools as this troubled, potentially dangerous kid. and the whole country has heard of him as the kid who fought off this gunman and fell from the st. louis arch and maybe they start to make connections.

so picture percy fighting a monster one day and getting like impaled and everyone freaks out, only to remove the weapon/horn whatever, and gold ichor is pouring out and then the wound just closes.

he storms olympus like “i said no, i don’t want this, what the hell” but the gods are all shocked too. because it wasn’t them. it was the people. they made him a god through their awe and fear.

I know in the books it’s already like, a Thing that Percy’s relationship with his godly family seems to be abnormally good- like, Poseidon’s not dad of the year but he’s also made it clear he deeply cares about Percy and has tried to warn/protect him in the past, there’s been brief references here and there that after tlo Percy started spending time in the underwater palace occasionally, he calls Amphitrite his step-mom and says she bakes him cookies and doesn’t mind that he’s messy when he stays over, he brought back that pendant Annabeth wears, little stuff like that- but tbh I wish it would be expanded on more because apart from the fact it’s sweet, it’s also like, kinda funny? when you think about how all the other gods are just. messes. about family. like let me just SEE him interact with his family more, it has such potential. He casually mentions he’s meeting his sister Kym at starbucks later and Jason’s like ‘she sold you out to a giant that wanted to murder you’ and Percy’s just like ‘yeah but that was months ago and dad made her apologize we’re cool now’. Annabeth still hasn’t forgiven her mom for the whole Mark-of-Athena-Suicide-Quest thing and they had a huge fight on Olympus the other day, the first time they had seen each other since the war ended, and Annabeth’s complaining about this to Percy, who’s Iris Messaging her from the bottom of the ocean because it’s Poseidon’s custody weekend. There’s a mandatory parent bake sale at school to raise money for a field trip but Sally’s on a book tour and Paul was prepared to just quit after he set the kitchen on fire, only for Amphitrite to stroll into the school the next day and ruin every PTA Mom’s life. Percy telling his friends to stay out of the water for a few days because he called Triton a bitch in the family group chat and he just wanted them to be careful. Percy trying to figure out if a bunch of Greek gods are expecting Christmas presents or not and wtf to get them if they are. Triton wanting to get Percy back for the bitch comment but knowing their dad won’t let him drown someone so he instead shows up at Percy’s mortal high school and does The Most to embarrass him. Tyson begging Percy to let him help babysit Estelle. Poseidon showing up at Career Day with absolutely no warning and trying not to laugh at Percy’s reaction. Percy getting his dad a fathers day card like he wanted to do in SoM!! Like it’s a dynamic I don’t want pushed to the side as much as it is!!! There’s so much to work with there!!! I want more! 

I know it’s pretty funny to joke that Steph forcibly inserted herself into the Batfamily and never left while the others are like ‘Steph you don’t even live here’ but in my opinion its absolutely the other way around.

From her history with Bruce and stuff there’s a part of Steph that holds all her insecurities and is just thinking, ‘I could be locked out of the bat cave at any minute’ no matter how illogical that is. So Steph is of the general mindset of ‘these are my trusted crime fighting allies who I care about very much but I’m not part of their family because I have a mom and it doesn’t matter anyway because all I really want is to help people and make sure less people become victims of crime’. She cares about them all more than anything but she wont let herself feel like she means too much to them.

Meanwhile the Batfamily are just like ‘that’s Steph our little ray of sunshine we love her and she’s 100 percent ours and we’re just waiting for Tim or Cass to marry her in so she’s legally a member of this family as well’.

Steph convincing herself she’s not a member of the bat family due to insecurities and the Bat family being like ‘exCUSE YOU! You are absolutely a member of this family!’   

Okay, so like, instead of that incredibly OOC for everyone involved piece of shit Battle for the Cowl storyline, what SHOULD have happened in my EXPERT opinion is they all start fighting for it, whatever, fine, but then Dick is like, fuck it, who even cares, let’s just all be Batman. Except for Damian, because you’re short and wee so you’re stuck with Robin, sorry kiddo.

To which Damian, naturally, would snarl: How DARE you, Grayson, I AM THE blah blah blah, but then everyone points out that the Robin costumes are literally the only ones that fit him and its not like he knows how to sew, and he’s welcome to TRY threatening/blackmailing/bribing Alfred into making him a pint-sized Batman costume, but like……lol. Yeah. Sure.

And so Dick AND Jason AND Tim AND Cass because she exists, fuck you BftC, are ALL Batman. Yes, even Cass. Jason’s all, shouldn’t you call yourself Batwoman? And Cass just stares at him, dead-eye, and says I don’t want to. And I mean, nobody’s dumb enough to argue with Cass so its like alright, there are four Batmen now. Batmans? Whatever.

And it just confuses the ever loving FUCK out of the Gotham underworld and Rogues, because you’ve got a laughing Batman who freaking PUNS and a trigger-happy shooting Batman and a short Batman who talks and acts just like the real deal except WHY IS HE SO SHORT and a freakily silent Batman who just fucking APPEARS right next to your elbow more quiet and creepily than even the original one ever managed and two seconds later you’re down for the count and you don’t even know what the fuck just happened.

And in the dark, with them all dressed alike, crouching at just the right angles that its almost impossible to tell at a first glance how tall or built they each are, these four Batmen are just freaking EVERYWHERE and you run into one and its like gdi I’m so fucked but I gotta wait til they stand up or say something to figure out just HOW fucked I am cuz like, please let it be any of them but the Batman with guns and then its the freakily silent Batman and you’re like WAIT OH FUCK I CHANGED MY MIND GIMME THE SHOOTY BATMAN I WANT THE SHOOTY BATMAN!

And also, the only thing that’s ever really successfully bonded the Batkids in the past is the opportunity to fuck with people, so eventually, sometimes they start mixing it up and imitating each other’s styles just to REALLY mess with peoples’ heads, with Jason randomly cracking puns so they’re like oh phew, its the laughing Batman, and then Jason’s like LMFAO NOPE and whips out a grenade. And Dick actually CAN be quiet when he wants to, so he pretends to be the freakily silent Batman and just fucking APPEARS in a warehouse full of gunrunners and whispers “Boo” and then he just laughs his ass off when they all run screaming out the door, where Stabby Robin is waiting with his katana. 

And on and on it goes until nobody knows up from down or left from right and you’ve got guys just laying down their weapons and sobbing I give up, like just at the SIGHT of any of them, because they’re so fucking confused and they’re like, maybe I can at least spare myself the headache of trying to figure out who the hell I’m even dealing with this time, look, I’m fucked no matter what anyway so what’s even the point.

And then finally Bruce comes back ‘from the dead’ or whatever that was, I stopped paying attention, something something time travel bat god Darkseid omega energy blah blah who cares.

And he’s figuring Dick has been Batman while he’s gone so he starts trying to get all caught up based off that assumption and THAT goes off the fucking rails pretty damn quick, and eventually he’s just scrolling through files on the Batcomputer like….wut?

And that’s when the kids all roar back in from patrol on and in their varying Bat-vehicles, to the sight of their supposedly dead father, and they’re all like….wut?

And Bruce stares at four different Batman and a four foot Robin who’s basically 75% ominous scowl and 25% bladed weaponry, and he’s like….wut?

And then Alfred comes down the stairs into the Batcave and stops and stares and is like, oh, my word. Y’know, all British-ish and stuff.

And then there are five Batmen.

It does not get less confusing for Gotham after that.