I Have A Hill To Die On Real Quick

dont be scared, even cryptids probably cum

lost focus and had a consensual workplace relationship

It also did that one of @karazrel ‘s posts but I didn’t question that one at first because I thought it made sense.

Tumblr you’re drunk go home

Okay so I was just scrolling down my feed and I was looking at a just-highschool-things post and I was like “is this a marvel post?” and it wasn’t so I was confused and I look up to see @ironfamjam ‘s pfp on the post instead of @just-high-school-things pfp. So now I’m just confused.

“It’s literally impossible to be a woman.

You are so beautiful, and so smart, and it kills me that you don't think you're good enough. Like, we have to always be extraordinary, but somehow, we're always doing it wrong?

You have to be thin, but not too thin, and you can never say you wanna be thin. You have to say you wanna be healthy, but also, you have to BE THIN.

You have to have money, but you can't ask for money because that's crass.

You have to be a boss, but you can't be mean.

You have to lead, but you can't squash other people's ideas.

You're supposed to love being a mother, but don't talk about your kids all the damn time.

You have to be a career woman, but also, always be looking out for other people.

You have to answer for men's bad behavior, which is INSANE, but if you point that out, you're accused of complaining!

You're supposed to stay pretty for men, but not so pretty that you tempt them too much or that you threaten other women because you're supposed to be a part of the sisterhood, but ALWAYS STAND OUT and ALWAYS BE GRATEFUL. But never forget that the system is rigged, so find a way to acknowledge that but ALSO, always be grateful!

You have to never get old. Never be rude. Never show off. Never be selfish. Never fall down. Never fail. Never show fear. Never get OUT OF LINE. It's too hard! It's too contradictory, and nobody gives you a medal or says 'thank you!' And it turns out, in fact, that not only are you doing everything wrong, but also, everything is your fault.

I'm just so tired of watching myself, and every single other woman tie herself into knots, so that people will like us.

And if all of that, is also true for a doll just representing a woman, then I don't even know." -Gloria the barbie movie

this is it. this is exactly it oh my god.

Anti anxiety.

- so who is your favorite comedian?

- well, I guess James Acaster. his comedy is very thought through and clever.

meanwhile, James Acaster :

James Acaster: Cold Lasagne Hate Myself 1999

Bonus:

THE PICTURE OF PLANKTON!!! BWAHAHAHAHA

the au you all asked for

Look, your blog is now signed by MCR. 

This is so stupid yet so funny.