Abusive parents force you to hide things you would otherwise never have to worry about hiding, because you learn that they can flip out about anything, make a scene from anything, misunderstand one detail and go insane over it. So you don’t tell them about anything you can avoid, and you try to deal with things yourself as much as humanely possible, which takes the burden of taking care of you from them, and onto your shoulders.
This is dangerous as well because you don’t tell them about a friend who did something horrible to you, you don’t tell them about a sociopath who tried to groom or touch you, you don’t tell them about horrifying heartbreak you feel when someone abandons you, you don’t tell them when your world is falling apart because you know that at best, they’ll be uninterested, at worst, they will tell you it was your fault and you deserved it.
Living in secrecy becomes normal and when you develop trauma symptoms it once again feels like it’s your fault because you never said anything, you never told them how much they were hurting you, you didn’t speak up and open up about your problems. But how in the world would you? You know if you had, all that you would get is insults, blame, threats, guilt and shame thrown in your face, how could you possibly take that on top of having trauma symptoms? You can’t, it’s not worth risking. Suffering in silence becomes your only survival option, and you watch your heart break a little more every day that nobody cares that you’re breaking apart.
Thanks for all the kind words.. I’m alright. Nothing too bad happened and im recovering. Im just.. really tired. Life is.. not so great right now. And it doesn’t look like im going to be getting the help i need anytime soon so.. I just have to try and stay alive until something goes right i guess.
you should experience this. via
https://www.vitaminwater.com/hit-refresh-for-exotic-mango-island-pic/and-20fl-oz-of-tropical-oasis/wow/wish-i-was-there/enhanced/e/the-hot-key-is-command-shift-r/electrolytes/be-sure-to-hit-refresh/but-not-too-much/you-have-to-give/the-page-a-chance-to-load/
irony: having to leave my house in order to get therapy for agoraphobia
1:00am
Yesterday/Today (because havent slept yet so technically my day hasnt ended) was...boy. Very... odd. Never thought that would happen.
Lost another lb.
Gonna just smoke some weed while I play the sim. Maybe I’ll have some low calorie soup.
im having a weird day
do a bro a favor and reblog
my feelings for you are obvious, like ink on a piece of paper. your feelings for me are uncertain, like the changing constellations in the sky.
Beawings (via wingsandwhiskers)
'No one gives a fuck about my nightmares, But it's nothing you should worry yourself about.'
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