You Should Experience This. Via

Chronic Illness flare clinics need to be a thing.

They need to have holistic chronic illness clinics. You can go to them while you’re in a flare. They have low sensory rooms with soft beds and low light tv’s. Have doctors to administer flare reducing meds/pain meds, but also have holistic professionals like massage therapists, acupuncturist, mindfulness workers, physical therapists, chiropractors etc etc.

Basically so that you’re entire body and mind can heal because the reality of this is mind and body health need to be aligned.

This is especially necessary because going to an ER for a flare can be so terrible and increase the intensity of the flare. It’s so bright and you have to wait for hours to be seen by doctors who let’s be honest don’t specialize in chronic illness, and are trying to jam in as many patients as they can because of being over capacity.

This is what healthcare would look like if it was designed by the sick.

7/2/19

10:20pm

6lbs down in a week so far, pretty excited about that.

370c for dinner, the only meal I eat.

Half a bowl smoked,

In such a weird fucking mindset today, I don't understand. I don't understand this feeling in my chest. What are you trying to tell me?

Slept 5 hours today, but not very good.

My mother is talking to and potentially dating a man I'm not very fond of, I hate it.

What is this fucking feeling engulfing me? 

HI THE VOID SYSTEM SENT THIS TO ME AND I LOVE IT AND GOT 2 BINGOS

Ｒ∆ＤＩＯ ＮＯＷＨヨＲヨ

It comes in waves. Anger, then sadness, anxiety then anger again.

All I can do is lay in bed by myself and isolate.

I dont really have a right to push everyone away and then lament that im hurting and lonely.

I just..........

Oh well..

Test

The sobs that choke you up and keep you from breathing are the worst. The actual chunk of sadness that wells up into a knot in your throat is agony. 

I’ve let you all down.