My Dear Beloved Friend:

How do you feel about the scandals that revolved around the Christian brothers (sexual assault towards youth) in Newfoundland and other similar scandals? Things like this have caused many to loose confidence with their faith, what are your thoughts on that?

Hey baby! (Don’t be weirded out, I use a various terms of endearment with all my friends and acquaintances) 

And ugh. I have a bunch of different thoughts on this topic. I’ve heard soooo many different opinions on this. I’ve heard of churches going door to door to collect donations to bail priests out of jail, priests who were incarcerated for sexual assault on a minor. Now, the reliability of these reports is dubious, at best. I honestly cannot formulate an opinion on that idea, or its truth. Now, in my own church, we had a scandal a couple years back. One of the pastors at my church was convicted of sexual deviancy, the likes of which is apparently a crime. Man, I dunno what happened. It was kind of a mess, tbh. Obviously, he lost his job at my church and I’m pretty sure with the PAONL in general. I also think they told him he could be re-ordinated if he took counselling and stuff. 

First up. Obviously, pastors/priests/reverends/whatever are people just like the rest of us. They’re gonna screw up. That’s a-given. But when they screw up in such a way that it hurts other people, we absolutely must acknowledge it. We must acknowledge the damage done, and we must take steps to show that we acknowledge it and to attempt to rectify it. I am sorry, but child pornography, and sexually assaulting young boys, or whatever, that’s straight-up awful. And I would be in 100% agreement with the church if they fired the people who committed these crimes. Any other company would. We don’t have to pretend like we’re perfect. It’s no secret that we’re really not. To preach sexual purity and selflessness and love for others and a straight moral path and then to defend those who CLEARLY violate these teachings is hypocritical, it’s not grace. Hate the sin. Love the sinner. But really, really hate the sin. Don’t defend it. Don’t excuse it. Don’t justify it. Hate it. 

On the other side of that, grace is a part of this too. Churches are full of hypocrites. That’s why we’re there. We as Christians do not think we’re perfect, rather we are acutely aware of our imperfection. We strive everyday to become more Christlike but it is a battle against our very nature and by default is possible only by the grace of God. We absolutely must forgive and accept the people who commit these heinous crimes, because that’s what God does.

I know it’s really hard for us to wrap our brains around, but all sin is equal to God. Lying is the same as murdering. Envy is the same as rape. It sounds ludicrous to us, because human morals have a measurement of severity, based on the effects the transgressions have on the people around us. God’s only measurement is “perfect” or “not perfect” and any sin, no matter how awful, or how trivial, is in the “not perfect” category. Romans 3:23 says “for all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.” …”fallen short of the glory of God”. That’s what sin is. It literally means not being divine. Well if that’s the definition, then heck yeah everybody has sinned! 

So my point in saying that is that we need to forgive even the worst of humans, because we are just like them. I listened to this talk by Judah Smith about how we hate Barrabbas so much, the guy the jews told Pontias Pilate to free instead of Jesus. He was a murderer and they let him go free instead of Jesus! Like what the heck? Oh wait a minute…he’s me. Jesus bought his freedom just like he bought mine. We are all the same. We sin the same and God loves us the same. 

HOWEVER. All our actions have consequences. Forgiving someone and extending grace to them does not always mean that they will be exempt from the consequences of their actions. Losing your job and going to jail may be the consequences of your actions. So be it. That’s only fair, as far as fair goes on earth. 

And finally, people are gonna let you down. They’re going to shock, dismay, disappoint and hurt you. We are an imperfect being, plagued by mortality. But don’t give up on God. He’s the only one who will not disappoint you. I know His church screws up. I know some of His so-called “followers” are batcrap crazy. I know He gets a bad rep cause people misuse His label and they say one thing but do another. I know, I know, I know. I heard a comedian put it this way: “I like Elvis but I don’t like all his crazy fans.” This is why I think it’s so important for the church to be very careful about their reaction to scandals like this so that we demonstrate that we acknowledge the pain and the damage, we do not condone the behaviour, we apologize for it while still being gracious. It’s a very tricky situation. But at the end of the day, everyone’s relationship with God is their own business and their own responsibility. No one’s gonna take the credit or the blame for your eternity. My advice is to look past the stupid manmade institution called Religion. [Sidenote: I am a strong advocate of the church. I love the church. I think serving and being a part of a body of believers who will edify you in your faith is awesome.] Because God cannot be contained by a building or a group of people or a list of rules or even an idea in your head. 

God is bigger and greater than anything we’ve ever known or ever will know. He is the first, the last, the everything. He is in all and through all and nothing can be apart from Him. So don’t diminish Him to the church. Find out for yourself who He is. Read the Bible, spend time in prayer, don’t rely on secondhand information. Be a critical thinker and find out about God yourself. And find a church that you think exemplifies biblical values well and that you feel is good for you at this point in your life. 

That’s all I have to say :P 

Thanks for the question! Peace and love!-Katherine 

RANT Warning: indelicate language and imagery. Okay, so apparently as much as 54% of men and 42% of women are STUPID. I'm sorry but I'm not gonna be all politically correct about this. Anyone who answered yes to any of those questions is STUPID. STUPID AND WRONG.  For anyone out there who's a little bit confused....

RAPE IS NEVER OKAY. 

No matter what. No matter who long you've been dating, no matter how much money he spent, no matter what her level of sobriety, no matter what he's seen of her or done with her, no matter what mixed signals he's gotten, NO MATTER WHAT. It's not okay to force sex on a woman who does not want it.  And let's just stop and examine two of the conditions up there:  a) He is so turned on he thinks he can't stop. b) She gets him excited sexually. 

Ohmygoodness. MAN UP. Newsflash: Guys get turned on all the time. It's not exactly a novel thing. Guys can get turned on for no apparent reason. 

As a guy, are you seriously gonna try and tell me that you couldn't help it?  (This is where it gets graphic) ...That your dick was hard so you just HAD to ram it inside of her? That's bullshit! (I get vulgar when I get angry).  Oh, you were horny. Oh you poor baby. My heart bleeds for you, it really does.  MAN UP.

You're not an animal. You're not a robot. You don't HAVE to do everything your body wants you to. As a human, you SHOULD have morals. And you are able to reason and make choices. If you know that rape is ALWAYS WRONG (which it is) then you CAN walk away. You are not so weak that you are helpless against the primitive desires of your flesh.  So when I hear someone say something like "he's so turned on he thinks he can't stop" or "she gets him excited sexually", you know what I think? I think that "he" is a cowardly, lazy, spineless, weak, pathetic BOY. Because any man who cannot master his body and decide to respect women despite his physical urges is no man at all. 

"How the Media Failed Women in 2013," courtesy of Miss Representation. This is mind-boggling and you must watch it right now.

How do you feel about living with someone before you're married?

Well…I think it’s really..dangerous. Like, I’ve decided that I’m not gonna have sex before marriage. And living ALONE, TOGETHER, with someone makes it reeeeeeeally easy to have sex with them. Basically, if I were living with my boyfriend, I’m pretty sure we’d have sex. I know my limitations, and I definitely don’t trust myself that much. So I wouldn’t do it. :P I’m staying faaaaarrrr away from that line.

Thank for the question! Peace and love! -Katherine

The Law and The One Who Made The Law

On Sunday, I was helping out with the kiddies program in the morning church service. I LOVE being with the kids, but this morning I felt that there was something wrong. The lesson was about sin, and I think that the message the kids were supposed to take home was "Don't Sin." We told them stories about people who did drugs and stole stuff and ran away from homes and discussed the various mistakes these people made, and defined sin and then told them that the people in the stories met Jesus and cleaned up their lives and went on to do a whole bunch of really great things for God. 

I'm sure it sounds like a very positive message at first glance, but something really unsettled me about it: 

It's all well and good to tell the kids to obey their parents and tell the truth and share and don't do drugs and stay in school. However, why are we so focused on all these rules for how we should behave and not on The One who made the rules? 

Cause see, the gospel is not a behaviour-control program. The church does not exist to make sure that everyone is following the rules. And Jesus didn't die so that we would have to be perfect. 

What I'm trying to say is that instead of telling these kids what they can and cannot do, we should introduce them to Jesus, and tell them about his amazy-crazy, upside-down inside-out, spin-you-all-around LOVE. I think that we should tell them that Jesus knows them better than anyone else in the world and that He loves them more than anyone else in the world does. I think we should tell them that they are His precious treasure, His beloved son/daughter, the apple of His eye. I think we should tell them that He has an awesome plan for their life and that He's gonna do great things in them and through them. Finally, I think we should tell them that He loves them so much that He died for them, so that their sins would be repaid and they could go to heaven. Don't you think that such a message would be far more effective than "Don't do this. Don't do that." I feel like if they knew the one who made them and loves them, they would be naturally less inclined to seek fulfillment in thrills, drugs, alcohol and sex ANYWAY, and we wouldn't have to try and hammer it into their skulls so much. 

Don't get me wrong, we do tell the kids all the stuff I said up there. We tell it to them all the time. My church is not remiss in informing the children of their infinite value to their creator. I just think that if Sunday morning's service was the only one a child had ever been to, they would think that church was just a list of Do's and Don'ts. So I believe that instead of just talking about sin, we need to prevent a more holistic view of the relationship between God and humans. I think we need to present the gospel to these kids in BIG BOLD ITALIC CAPS every single time we see them, because knowing the love of Christ is infinitely more important than knowing the rules. 

That's all.  Peace and love!  -Katherine

Whats your opinion of bisexual people?

Hey :) Thanks for your question! How shall I put this? Bisexual people fall under the umbrella of “all people” and I have only one single opinion on all people: All people are beautiful and wonderful and lovely. All people are worthy of love and respect. All people are treasured fiercely and intimately by their creator. All people are loved by God and by me. 

Regardless of age, gender, colour, creed, religious views, sexual orientation. Regardless of their past. Regardless of whatever they might think is wrong with them. 

That is the only opinion I will ever offer on people, in general. And really, it is NONE of my beeswax who other people love/are attracted to/sleep with.

I have talked a bit more in depth about the conflict between homosexuality and the church here, here and here.  In every single one of those questions, I and the question-asker both specifically used the word “homosexuality”. Now that I think about it, I suppose you could generally apply the opinions expressed in those posts to anyone of the LGBTQ community. In conclusion, it doesn’t matter who you are. It doesn’t matter what you believe or how you live. My job is to love you. Period. And that’s what I’m gonna do. :)  

Thanks for the question! Peace and love! -Katherine 

I can’t understand how anyone can be against people asking to be treated with justice. I can’t understand how anyone can be against people being treated like human beings. I don’t understand why we are still having to protest for these basic rights.

Bottom line is that a horrible crime was committed in broad daylight and we cannot be OK with it being dismissed. Michael Brown is not by any means the only one, it is the one that tested us beyond what we are capable of ignoring. 

God is calling YOU.

I decided today that I resent the phrase “full-time ministry” when referring to pastors. ”Full-time” ministry, as opposed to everybody else who’s only part-time? I believe that EVERYBODY’S ministry should be full-time. I believe that witnessing and outreach should be a way of life, not a job.  I have many friends who want to be pastors or did want to at some point (the official count is up to six at the moment.) And sometimes I think that people feel like if you’re a Christian, the only job God can call you to is to be a pastor or a missionary - like those are the only “Holy” jobs. Like you HAVE to do one or the other to truly be a good Christian. Because, for a long time, when my very best friend was absolutely 100% certain of God’s calling on her life to become a children’s pastor, I felt like I didn’t have a calling on my life. I think I know what it is now. :)

I want to put it out there that God calls all types. I believe I have friends who are called into social work. God calls doctors and nurses. God calls business men. God DEFINITELY called my mom to be a teacher. She says she knows that teaching is where she is supposed to be, with junior high kids who are messed and lost and just need love and guidance. I know people who have a heart for kids and want to love on them so they’re going into social work to help children have better lives. And I want to be a pediatrician, because I love children and I want to help people.

God gave you talents and interests and skills and passions for a reason! And whatever He calls you to do, it’ll probably line up with whatever He’s already equipped you to do well. He might call you to be a stay-at-home mom, or a lawyer or a plumber!

The Names of God

I am not Christian, but I'm doing a project on Margery Kempe for school. She was a deeply religious person, her love for Jesus was so strong she would cry even at the thought of Him, as it remind her directly of His death. She morned for His death as if it had happened that very day. The society in which she lived didn't necessarily condone this behaviour. As someone who is religious what are your thoughts and opinions on Margery Kempe and her behaviours? I value your opinion.

Aww! You value my opinion?! I’m so honoured! 

Okay so I have a lot of thoughts on the topic of Margery Kempe. 

The first is that her religious education may have been slightly deficient.

I read that she wanted to become a nun but she couldn’t because she was already married. And also that she wanted to devote herself to a life of servitude for Christ but that she became a businesswoman instead. These two things are not mutually exclusive. God places people in innumerable different locations, vocations and situations as a part of his “master plan” (if you will) and people are just as effective in ministry as a teacher, a nurse, a lawyer, a doctor, a janitor, a McDonald’s employee or a plumber…as they are as a pastor.

Furthermore, a marriage need not be celibate to enhance your spirituality. Paul is one example of someone in the bible who was celibate and he wasn’t even married. He was just single. [EDIT: single at the time when he was writing the part of the bible that we read. SIDENOTE: Whether or not he may have ever been married is over my head and I have to do some more research. I’ll get back to you.] Paul said himself that it is “better to marry than to burn with lust” (1 Corinthians 7:9). And apparently ms. Kempe was subject to sexual temptations. God never intended for us to never ever have sex. He just designed it with a users manual (see what I said about sex here).

And finally, the whole confessing of your sins thing. Part of the reason she had her first vision was the panic brought on by the belief that she was not absolved from her partially-confessed “secret sin” and the fear of eternal damnation. Just for the record, that’s not how it works at all. You don’t have to go through a priest; you can speak directly to Jesus. And as soon as you tell him what it is you feel bad about and apologize for it, it’s gone. Poof! Might as well have never happened, for all He’s concerned. So for all these reasons, I think that Margery’s starting point was a bit flawed. 

Second of all, if I met someone who behaved the way she did today, I would think they were a wingnut.

I’m 100% serious. She sounds like a straight-up lunatic. That being said, I am IN NO WAY saying that her visions were not real or that she was a liar. I know that Jesus loves her deeply and passionately, and that she is of infinite importance to Him. I just wonder at the way she reacted to them. I personally feel that she had some personal, very human, issues that acted as a filter through which she perceived her religion and that these issues affected her behaviours. 

For example, take the fact that she had “sexually charged visions of Jesus” (found on spark notes, haha). woah. gurlfran, if you’re having sexually charged visions of Jesus, I think something is very wrong. Jesus is (as of right now) a totally spiritual being, and I think that a real and pure encounter with someone who is a totally spiritual being, could not be so closely associated with such a very carnal and physical desire unless it was corrupted by something. 

Also, check out this quote from an interesting article I found on the topic: 

“During the medieval period women were subjected to either of two stereotypes: They were the subject of clerical misogyny that saw women as the incarnation of every evil or docile, virginal martyrs – both extreme presentations. However, in a time when women’s voices were generally very rarely heard, female mystics who experienced ‘signs from God’, (such as visions), were empowered to speak out and challenge the social perceptions of themselves.”  

Is it possible that the interactions between Margery’s gender and her religious experiences played a role in some subconscious motivation for her incredibly public displays of emotion? I’m just asking. 

Finally, in that same article mentioned above, it says that modern-day psychologists say that she exhibited many of the symptoms of schizophrenia: 

The inability to make or keep friends

A preoccupation with self

Anxiety

The obvious, delusions and visual and auditory hallucinations…”visions”, as it were.

Apparently, it is possible that her schizophrenia was triggered by “childbirth, bereavement and the exhaustive demands of a religious life.” Furthermore, “The form schizophrenia takes is directly linked to the cultural and social influences to the patient, and in the pre-scientific mass psyche of the Middle Ages, schizophrenia understandably manifested itself religiously.”

Okay, again, even though it may sound as thought I’m very skeptical (okay, I’m kind of skeptical) I am not negating the validity of her spiritual devotion. I’m not an expert, I’m just some chick in the 21st century with a laptop. I wasn’t inside her head, and I will never presume to fathom the ways of God. I just think that our religious beliefs and behaviours are filtered through our human experience, and I think that she had a lot of filters. 

The third thing I thought when reading about Margery Kempe was, “but…Jesus isn’t dead anymore.” 

It’s a terribly simplistic and childlike thing to think, but it’s true nonetheless. I understand that she mourned for the depth of his suffering, and the time, when He was on the cross. That’s cool. We all should, and do, take time to understand the inhumanity and cruelty of His murder. I honestly think that history was arranged in such a way that Jesus had to endure the cruelest form of death ever devised by man. 

HOWEVER. The really exciting thing…the thing on which our whole entire system of belief is founded…the thing that blows my mind…is that Jesus DID NOT STAY DEAD. I told my grade one-ers on Sunday morning: “Jesus beat Death!” And He is risen, and He is reigning, and His victory over death brought life for you and for me. And so weeping continuously reminds me of this skit. Jesus is no longer dead and we cannot treat Him as such. We should be celebrating His resurrection and His victory, and the freedom that brings to us! 

Last thought, I promise. Have you ever heard the expression, “too heavenly minded to be of any earthly good”? 

Now you have. That’s what I think about Margery. I mean if, as Christians, we truly believe in the love and mercy and gospel of Jesus Christ, then our primary goal should be to attract people to Him and to show them His love. 2 Corinthians 5:13 says “If it seems we are crazy, it is to bring glory to God. And if we are in our right minds, it is for your benefit.” I interpret that verse this way: 

Humans are primarily spiritual beings in physical shells. And our creator is a majestic, infinite, wonderful, awe-inspiring, spiritual being. And when we closely encounter Him, it messes us up, man. In a good way. Such experiences manifest themselves in the physical world (some say “in the natural”) in interesting ways, like strange languages, tears, laughter, trembling, and sometimes falling down. I think that when one experiences an encounter with God, the only natural response is an involuntary outpouring of emotion. I mean, it’s God. Our instinctive reaction to His presence is awe and worship. But I’ve only ever seen these things happen in a church service, which is a safe environment, where we’re not gonna scare anybody. You would generally not expect to see someone having a “God moment” in the middle of the street. 

And we have to be conscious of our “dual-citizenship”, if you will. Yes, we are spiritual, and we must live as such. But we are also physical, and we are put here, in this physical world, for a reason. We’ve got stuff to do. And if we’re walkin around cryin all the time, we’re not gonna get anything done. 

So like, you said that you’re not a Christian. And you know that I am. If we know each other in person, hopefully I have never behaved in a religiously fanatical manner in your presence. I try to keep that toned down ;) in all seriousness, I try to be as in the world (while not being of the world) as I can. If we’ve never met in person, I promise I’m not gonna dissolve into tears at the sight of any babies. I won’t hit you with bibles or throw holy water on you. I’ll try to be pretty normal :) 

IN CONCLUSION (”finally!”, you say): Margery Kempe was probably a devoted christian woman, who truly loved her lord, but who lacked the proper religious education, and who was somewhat troubled and misguided. 

Thank you for the question :)Peace and love! -Katherine