How Do You Feel About Living With Someone Before You're Married?

Jesus is radical. Grace is radical. The Gospel is radical. Christianity isn't for the faint at heart.

I’ll return to Biblical womanhood gladly. Because Biblical womanhood is Deborah being called by God to lead the nation of Israel into victory. Biblical womanhood is Jesus choosing a woman as the first person to whom He revealed His identity as The Messiah and making her the first evangelist. Biblical womanhood is Jesus revealing himself first to women after His resurrection, trusting them with the task of telling His disciples. Biblical womanhood is Jesus inviting Mary and Martha to sit at his feet to be taught as disciples, valuing their presence there with Him instead of busying themselves with meal preparation and “women’s work.” Biblical womanhood is Paul calling Lydia and Priscilla his coworkers in Christ. Biblical womanhood is Priscilla teaching Apollos (a man) and her name being listed before that of her husband, Aquila, when the couple is mentioned in scripture. Biblical womanhood is Paul referring to Phoebe as a minister and a leader. Biblical womanhood is Lydia founding the church in Phillippi. Biblical womanhood is countless other examples of women, valued and empowered by Christ, teaching and leading right alongside men. 

Biblical womanhood is not a few taken-out-of-context verses, written to specific audiences and wrongfully universally applied, about women remaining silent in church and not having authority over men. 

Thoughts in the aftermath of the Paris attacks

I question how we could have gotten to this point. When was there such a breakdown in humanity that we are capable of committing such atrocities? Was it imperialism and colonialism? Was it the tower of Babel? Was it when Eve ate the apple? And more worryingly, I question how I became desensitized to it. I’m not gonna lie, the first thought I had when I heard about Paris was “I’m not even surprised.” And the more I think about it, the more horrifying that is. I can’t fathom how someone could hold so much hatred in their heart that they would commit such evil against their fellow human beings. 

But here’s the thing: I’ve seen more widespread and more insidious hatred on social media in the past three days than in Paris on Friday. I am dismayed at the tragedies in Paris and Lebanon, and I am disgusted and many people’s reactions. 

ISIS seeks to divide us along fabricated lines of religion, and to sow fear and hatred. When someone says that this is the reason we shouldn’t be letting refugees into Canada, they are dividing us along the fabricated lines of ethnicity, and they are sowing fear and hatred. It reveals extreme xenophobia, and profound racial prejudice, and - quite frankly - willful stupidity (otherwise known as ignorance). When I see inane posts about closing Canadian borders being propagated on social media, I honestly judge those people for being shallow and stupid. If you think critically about the reasons people seek refuge in Canada, you would know that to attempt to deny them that refuge because you’re scared of terrorism is absolutely absurd. 

Not only that, but we are so horrified by ISIS because they presume to make themselves masters of others fate. They take the power of life and death into their hands, and judge other human beings. Do you realize that to let children die at sea is the same thing? Just because we didn’t pull the trigger doesn’t mean that our hatred didn’t kill them. 

Did you know that the bible says that anyone who hates a brother or sister is a murderer? (1 John 3:15) Refugees are your brothers and sisters. Your hatred for them is both metaphorically and literally their death sentence. 

If you dare to say that we should deny refugees entrance into Canada because of your racial prejudice, you are just as bad as ISIS. 

Today is #WorldToiletDay. Did you know 2.5 billion people - 36% of the world’s population - don’t have access to a clean and safe toilet?

Learn how we work with communities around the world to end #opendefecation and provide clean and safe toilets for all: http://uni.cf/1qrPCSk

What's your opinion on homosexuality?

(If you don’t wanna read all those words, just skip to the bottom where it says “Moral of the story”)Jesus said that the most important commandment is to love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength (okay, cool, makes sense) BUUUTTT….the SECOND most important commandment is to love your neighbor as yourself. (Matthew 22:37-39; Mark 12:29-31) And there are entire chapters of the bible devoted entirely to the importance of loving people (1 Corinthians 13) So! Here are the facts: Fact Number 1: Jesus loves you. Like, He really, REALLY loves you. Deeply, passionately, intimately, overwhelmingly. He loves you enough to die for you. He loves you so much that He DESPERATELY wants to have a personal relationship with you - to talk to you, to hear your thoughts and to walk with you through this life. Fact Number 2: I love you. I think that every single person in the world deserves to be loved and deserves to be respected simply due to the fact that you are a person and God made you and loves you. Okay, so now we’ve established that Jesus loves you and I love you, for no other reason than the fact that you’re alive, and no matter what. That cannot be altered, edited, ignored, abated, cancelled out, destroyed or denied. Moving on…I cannot confidently give you an opinion on Nature vs Nurture. If science has yet to confirm the varying influences of these conflicting forces, I will not presume to attempt to do so. I have a basic knowledge of the bible (as in, I’ve read it and journaled about it lol) and limited knowledge of the research behind the genetic role in homosexuality. Therefore, I am not qualified to give you my opinion in that area.  Interestingly, I recently read a novel for my English course called Oranges Are Not The Only Fruit by Jeanette Winterson, which is both her debut novel and an autobiographical novel (while not actually being an autobiography). It’s about a girl who grows up in a Pentecostal household (which happens to be my denomination) in northern England in the 60s and turns out to be a lesbian. Which, I’m sure you can guess, causes all sorts of conflict in her family and in her church community. The religious characters in the novel condemned her, saying that it was a malicious act of will on her part. They said stuff like “You made an immoral proposition that cannot be countenanced.” and “Never trust a sinner.” Those quotes made me pretty angry because they demonstrate a fundamental misunderstanding of the nature of God and sin. About halfway through the novel, in the margin of the page, I penciled the words “Byes don’t know the bible.” (I’m from Newfoundland. We say byes.) Because EVERYONE’S A SINNER! And the very nature or sin has nothing to do with willpower. You can’t magically wish yourself holy. You know? The people in the book seem to think that if one wants to be a ‘good’ person, to be perfect and righteous, you just have to choose to do so. Which is crap! People are not good. We are physically incapable of being good, by nature of the fact that we are born in to sin and we suffer from what is called “the human condition” (which just means being mortal and making mistakes). I’m not sure how that relates to homosexuality, but I hope that gives you some insight into my view of humanity and perfection in general. Finally, like I said in my last answer, I think that EVERYBODY NEEDS JESUS! As aforementioned, Jesus loves you and desperately wants a relationship with you. And I personally believe that you would benefit greatly from a relationship with Him. Everybody. Heterosexual, Homosexual, Transsexual, Bisexual, Asexual! EVERYBODY, no matter who you are, what you look like, where you come from, what you’ve done, where you’ve been, what you’ve been through. He loves you RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW! And He wants to have a relationship with you exactly how you are right here right now. To wrap this up, if Jesus thinks there’s something in your life you need to change…whether it be pride, laziness, gossip, lust, whatever….He’ll tell you. And I will try to focus on what He’s trying to tell ME! And I’ll keep trying to work on my issues and not presume to discern what He wants to tell you. Moral of the story: My job is to love, not judge.  

Peace and love!-Katherine  

hey if you're trans in the us i love you. hey if you're queer in the us i love you. hey if you're a person of color in the us i love you. hey if you're a woman in the us i love you. hey if you're disabled in the us i love you. i love you i love you i love you

Does the Pentecostal church allow gay marriage ?

Hi there :) 

***[I know a simple yes or no would suffice, but this is gonna be another long answer. I have, as usual, bolded important sentences for those who would rather skim.]*** 

This is going to be difficult for me to tell you, but I’m afraid that the Pentecostal Assemblies of Canada, with which the Pentecostal Assemblies of Newfoundland are affiliated - and therefore under which my own church exists - do not sanction gay marriage. Here is the “Statement of Fundamental and Essential Truths”. You will find homosexuality is addressed in section 5.9.1, “Marriage and the Family”. Here are a couple key quotes from that section:

"Marriage is a provision of God wherein one man and one woman to the exclusion of all others enter into a lifelong relationship through a marriage ceremony that is recognized by the church and legally sanctioned by the state."

…

"Marriage can only be broken by porneia, which is understood as marital unfaithfulness involving adultery, homosexuality, or incest. While the Scriptures give evidence that the marriage vow and "one-flesh" union are broken by such acts and therefore recognize the breaking of the marriage relationship, the Scriptures do recommend that the most desirable option would be reconciliation."

I imagine this is an affront to you, and I can understand why. I would like to justify the church’s stance, but I won’t. This decision is for two reasons: 

Firstly, because if what you want is for the Pentecostal church to allow gay marriage, then nothing I say will soothe your offended sensibilities. 

Secondly, because these practices apply only to members of the Pentecostal church: people who have actively chosen to participate in this institution, and whom evidently understand and are satisfied with the beliefs and practices. 

However, I will offer some of my own thoughts to supplement the information I’ve just given you.

[] 

Katherine’s thoughts: 

1. The Pentecostal church is part of the “private” sector, by which I mean that we are a non-profit organization and we are not affiliated with the government, be it federal, provincial, etc. Therefore, we do not attempt to extend our beliefs to anybody outside of our members. People who choose to become a member of the church (which, in case you’re wondering, is an official process involving an application and an interview) choose to abide by the practices set forth by the church, and that’s why those people chose to become a member in the first place. Therefore, the church will not corporately try to influence legislation involving gay marriage. How the church’s members vote is their individual decision, and in my experience, my church has never even discussed politics, let alone tried to influence my personal political beliefs. 

2. I am completely sure that while a person who is married to someone else of the same sex and/or gender may not choose to be a member of our church, NO ONE will discourage them from attending the services or benefiting from the various programs we offer. Being a member is a very official thing, and even though I’ve attended the church since birth, I’m still not a member. Membership involves stuff like voting for pastoral staff and board members and attending annual business meetings and boring stuff like that. So you could totally come on Sundays and chill with us and we won’t say anything to you. You could attend and volunteer and participate at Bethesda for 50 years and never be a member, so there’s that loophole. 

3. [THIS ONE IS SUPER IMPORTANT] Christianity is, above all, about a very personal, very intimate relationship with God. If you do not currently have an acquaintance with God, I would strongly encourage you to get to know Him. And if you want to, don’t let anybody or anything, including the church, including your sexual orientation, including the people in your life, dissuade you from doing so. Don’t ever let anybody tell you that there’s anything separating you from God, or that you have to change something about yourself before you get to know Him. He is waiting for you, exactly as you are, right here, right now, and He loves you exactly as you are, and nothing you do could ever make Him love you less….or more.

"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”- Romans 8:38-39

We as the church, are attempting to function as the “body” of Christ, that is to say, the mortal manifestation of His divine love here in the natural world. We are not God, and we cannot judge you or tell you what to do. Only He can do that. And if you have some questions about your lifestyle, I suggest you take it up with Him, not me. I don’t know anything. 

4. [This one is a little more complex and not quite fully formed so bear with me.] Pentecostals are what one might call “orthodox” Christians, which means that we believe firmly in the Bible as the complete and absolute truth. We cannot deny that the New Testament states that practicing homosexuality is not a lifestyle officially condoned by the Christian church. That’s why it’s part of the official Pentecostal statutes. As Christians, we must trust that God is a divine being infinitely more wise and more powerful than us, and that His word is truth, and that the Bible is the inspired word of God, due to its historical credibility, internal consistency and enduring influence. As such, we must trust that His plan for our lifestyle is a good one. If this is due singularly to the biology of His creation, and the fact that babies generally occur from heterosexual sex, then I guess I can see how that kinda makes sense. But in reality, I can’t actually see how anything makes any sense ever, because I’m a finite human (which is redundant, because there is no such thing as an infinite human, but I really wanted to drive the point home). I just go through life trusting in a higher power than myself (with good reasons to do so, I might add. Please see here). That means that I trust Him despite my personal opinions and despite what’s going on around me. This puts us in a rather difficult situation when it comes to formulating an opinion on homosexuality because I genuinely do think that it’s not a choice. 

5. For this reason, I have taken this as my official personal stance on homosexuality and Christianity: "Love is my ultimate answer to any question, because God is Love and Love is as close to the divine as you will get in this life. I adhere to two inalienable truths - God loves you and I love you. This love is unconditional, and has nothing to do with whether or not we agree on…anything, really. My purpose and goal in life is to show you that God loves you. I attempt to do this by loving you. And I really really want you to experience this radical, world-changing, earth-shattering, mind-blowing, paradigm-shifting love of God for yourself because it will literally change your life. And I believe that you can experience this love no matter what. No conditions apply. None. I will never tell you how to live your life, and if you have questions about your lifestyle, talk to God, not me." 

6. [Last one, finally!] Like I said, Christianity means a relationship with God, not belonging to a church. However, I strongly advocate for finding a group of believers to offer support and solidarity and encouragement in your faith. So I recommend finding a church where you feel safe and comfortable. If that’s not a Pentecostal church, that’s okay. But above all, I want you to know God. 

Okay all done! 

Thanks for your question :) As always, tip next time, 

Peace and love! -Katherine

simone weil said "absolutely unmixed attention is prayer." to pay absolute attention to the injustice in the world is to recognize the absence of God in the world. to pay attention to God's absence is to manifest his presence in the places where he is most needed, for the most vulnerable, for those who need him the most, for those he loves: the ones to whom he gives attention.

Warning signs of a potentially unhealthy relationship 

Ayo! 

today i met a christian guy who tries to follow the rules of the bible really well and i asked him if he is against gays because of Leviticus 20:13 and he told me no, he doesn’t because of Matthew 7

and he added that he would never judge anybody on their believes or way of living because only god can judge the people

this guy man