Guess I'm Going To Fucking Prom.

well, mom now knows about the scars on my upper arm (which are deep styros and barely baby beans) and oh yay.

she seems these as "too far" (she thinks some should've had stitches. like no? they weren't deep enough for that)

i had to explain to her that I don't care how this affects others (like, you're not being physically cut into so like, why should it matter how it affects you? emotionally? try again, I don't care about that)

I had to "promise" not to do that deep again (I will) <-but will have to be careful because I dont want to be strip-searched.

downside, I have some deep ones on my forearm and near wrist that she doesn't know (that might cause a strip-search if she sees those, which fucks me over because my thighs are the worst place)

wonder why I don't have the energy or motivation to finish my school work. tired of teachers getting upset.

my teachers wouldn't understand or go easy even if I told them anything.

sorry I can't get the will to finish and turn things in. sorry I'm falling behind. sorry my grades just get worse each year. sorry I don't give a shit about anything.

genuinely want a skateboard and learn how to to do but like, I'm too fat and out of shape for that.

i only hope that you never find me.

mind is being vaguely religious again

i just realized, I lost my boops as well

if anyone has reblogged my posts, can someone tell me? i would like them back (you don't have to)

i was rotting-in-the-forest

me, putting my pants back on and realizing, oh, I did gain. again.

want to commit but I got a thing going on tomorrow, so suicide debate is postponed. (I'm upset for no reason and hating on everyone)

i have an itch at the back of my throat only a shotgun can scratch