Decrepitasylum - There's No Snow In February

“I feel like a loser without any future

cut open my head

and rip out the tumor

you make me wanna fucking end it sooner

let me respawn like a first person shooter”

not being able to kill myself is the worst feeling

I'm about to lock myself in the bathroom and cut. I'm talking with Z about A. we're trying to fucking find him. he's been on Spotify in the past week and Pinterest like a month ago.

is he ignoring us? but why? and for 3 months? did we do anything? if something is or was wrong, why couldn't he have just, I don't know, said something?! even if it's vague or blunt, anything would be better than this.

i want him back i want him back i want him back i want him back i want him back i want him back i want him back

i feel like I'm losing my mind the more days that go by without a response from him

it's affecting how I'm treating our other partner

it's affecting me responding to others

i swear im losing my mind, I just want him to come back. I fucking hate his mom for grounding him for so long. why does she have to do that. fuck her. i just want my boyfriend back before I end up offing myself.

if I actually cry this year it might be because of this pain. cause holy fuck. i am in pain.

when in depressive pissed off state

just listen to black metal

sure. I'll come back. I don't really care.

I swear so much has happened these last 3 days that nothing feels real, and it's not even bad stuff, just very eventful days and it's leaving me very floaty and confused

it feels like I haven't stopped to take a break or take in anything fully

i feel so bad to the point I wanna cut

also cry, but I can't cry so I'll just sit feeling like this

introductions!

hi, first off, this is a major TW account. mainly sh and sui. if you're not comfortable, then please. get out. i do not encourage this behavior, im simply venting and screaming my thoughts and actions. i don't intend to get better. i am also not a good person, by any standards, morally and mentally.

I am 19 yrs

disc- decayed.forest

identity? no. | somehow I have two partners (A & Z) which I dont get how

i kin music so much -> aWannabe, Original God, Rivilin, Rebzyyx, Max Fry

bpd, depression, severe anxiety and social skill issues, adhd, idfk and idc. questioning aspd and szpd I don't know what's going on anymore

things I like -> classic and supercars, Minecraft, Skyrim, gore, blood, crp, cof

DNI: 13 and under - 40 and over. religious bs. ed/sh groups. generally free with anyone interacting