He Can Infodump So Deep Inside Me I'll Have Trivia Running Down My Leg

My three girlfriends. And yes, they smoke weed.

the trauma compelled him to correct stanley's grammar

King Henry VIII of England?

legit the best advice i can give you: feed your friends

any time someone is in any kind of crisis or upheaval, offer to feed them. tell them they don’t have to choose what it is if they can’t make decisions, just ask about allergies and preferences and tell them you’re just gonna make food happen at their house.

friend having a baby? delivery gift certificate to order food to the hospital after the kid shows up.

someone’s relative passes away? offer to make them dinner.

buddy gets laid off? ask if you can order them lunch.

pal stuck in a depressive episode? offer to drive them to fucking mcdonalds, if that’s what they want.

people in crisis are tired and sad and angry and the last thing most of them are doing is thinking about feeding themselves. so if you have the ability or time or money, providing that is always, always a good move.

legit i do this all the time, and it is 100% always appreciated. i have taught all my friends that when something happens, we feed each other. it makes people feel extremely cared for, and I cannot recommend it enough.

orb weavers' sexual dimorphism is hilarious to me like.

me and my big beautiful wife

me: do you guys like my evil thorned plate armour and bloodred cloak? is the ominous glow of my visor slit too much?

my manserpent minion: it'ssss sssslaying absssolute penisssss, ssssire

my shambling zombie: uuuu 👍

captured gnome i keep in a birdcage: golly gee willikers it's sure some scary!!!

my straight manserpent minion: looks pretty good boss

bugs need their own Tumblr i think

0 notes

🐝​ sillywasp Follow

This humans house smells like flowers!! 🌸​🌼​🌷 yum!

🐝​ sillywasp Follow

Update: there are no flowers 😭​ I feel so robbed

🐝 sillywasp Follow

Update: they put me in a plastic cup ☹️​

43 tiny notes

🦗​ crashopper Follow

HELP NEEDED

my wife is mad at me :(

​🕷️ tinymeal Follow

Damn that's crazy. Have you tried talking to her.

🪰​​ d1ptteraaaaa Follow

Dude youre a black widow spider I dont think you're qualified to give love advice

🕷️ tinymeal Follow

Actually black widow females only eat the males in extremely stressful situations such as being kept in captivity, my wife and I live in a beautiful meadow and we're fine

🪲​ shiny-turd Follow

Then why is your blog full of vore

🕷️ tinymeal Follow

Can't a man have a fetish

94k tiny notes

🐜​ cottagecore-gate Follow

Milking my beloved aphids! 💖​💓​💖​💓​💖​💓​

🐞​ godslittlecow Follow

:3c

🐜​ cottagecore-gate Follow

dont you FUCKIGN dare

182 tiny notes

🕸️​ sneakyspidey Follow

*sees a mantis crawling overhead* Tsk... such a fool... *into the intercom* attack, mine simps

🦋​ bread-and-butter-fly Follow

Knowing OP is an ant mimic spider makes this a thousant times funnier

🦂​ pseudoabdomen Follow

why do you know so much about ants

🦋​ bread-and-butter-fly Follow

I tricked ants into raising me

🦟 bzz-bzz Follow

Isnt that a little exploitative?

🪳 thecrawlerrrrrr Follow

Ants love being exploited dont listen to the haters

🦟 bzz-bzz Follow

Youre a termite of course youd say that

🪳 thecrawlerrrrrr Follow

That's so fucking racist???

🐛 fluffyfellow Follow

lmao .You are both racist 🙄​

🦂​ pseudoabdomen Follow

IS THAT A LARVA??? ON BUGBLR???

🦋​ bread-and-butter-fly Follow

Relax it's my little brother. who's currently tricking ants into raising him

🕸️​ sneakyspidey Follow

​ What have you MANIACS done to my post

I love my autistic son

i love twisted glisten but i still don't have enough ichor for him🙏🏻