She Is Like The Ocean

I'm a melancholic alcoholic

With a tendency for feeling nauseous

Too much love, too much drink

Provides a space for me to think

But my thoughts flee my mind

As quick as they had come

And I am left alone

With my heart feeling numb

There are so many eyes

Glowing in the dark

Watching me

Waiting until i slip.

It is maddening

The disembodied cackles

Mocking me

Not with words,

But with laughter.

Awaiting my failure

Do you see the eyes?

Do you hear the sounds?

Am i the only one

Who is

Going insane?

Have you ever

Felt as if

Breathing water

Would be easier

Than breathing

Air?

Armed only with paper

And pensive looks

Ink in my veins

Blood in my books

Tears staining a blank page

I do not live to write

Instead I find the opposite

When inspiration strikes

these words are my burden

my suffering

my tears

these words are my heartbreak

and the pain of all my years

these poems are my hardships

my brokeness

my pain

these poems are what I write

to make it go away

Thoughts on Love #15

Why do I love you? I ask myself that everyday. Through all the hurt, all the pain, through every broken heart I still love you. 

You hate the way I look at you, but the truth is that I don't know any other way to see you than as perfect. Then it occured to me- I love you so I can show you how much you are worth.

Let me stain your face

With kisses

And your heart with my love

So that my color

Will blend with yours

To become a painted sky

Your shoulders are littered

With meaningless tatoos

Inky reminders

That cannot be removed

So here is new mistake

For you to wear around

And maybe it will mean something

When i am nowhere to be found

Thoughts on Love #6

There is something insincere about ‘I love you’.

I mean so much more when I say those words, that I feel will never be understood. This isn't lust, this isn’t friendship- this is something in between. This love is me giving my heart, my soul, my everything to you and trusting that you will do the same.

We walked in the garden

Of love in my heart

Where everything should be

Wilting

But the damn flowers

Refuse to die