An Amber Tinted Room

Thoughts on Beauty #1

There are many misconceptions regarding beauty. People think that it is only what is pleasing to the eye, however, they couldn't be more wrong.

Beauty is the good that leads us to truth, no matter what form it may take.

Vulnerable for You

There is more to me

Then you are willing to know

But if you decide to care

I guess i can show

You the parts of myself

That i hide

Beneath my skin

Deep down inside

I guess i am trying to say

I love you

I didn't want to be in love

You caught me by surprise

But I'm a coward, so in fear

I smothered you with lies

October Rain

I slam the screen door

And listen to the sound

Of the raindrops falling

On the tin roof.

The crisp air

Sends me chills

But the cider

Warms my heart

Oh how i miss

With all my soul

The sweet sound

Of October rain

The screen on the back porch tore last night

When the weather was so bad

My apathetic cat curled up beside me to ride out the storm.

You hated that cat but I called it mine

Long before I was yours.

We built the screen together "like a real couple"

The only project I ever talked you into.

I dreamed that we would sip our coffee in the morning air

Watching sunrise together, the two of us

With the cat purring in my lap.

We never used it once and you called it useless

And I didn't see the point in going out

If we didn't do it together.

But now the screen is ripped, the metal prongs pointed angrily at your chair.

It ripped

And you aren't here to fix it.

Staring here at the hole, sipping my coffee alone with that damn cat pawing at the mosquito that's breached containment

and I can't help but wish it all meant something

In the end.

-

Day 4/14

A metaphorical

Gun to my head

Threaten a fate

I would rather

Instead

A moment too soon

Or not soon enough

Maybe this metaphor

Is more real

Than I thought

Mauve toned lipgloss is all I need

To feel pretty.

But I can't recall when I began to wish for such things

For the stranger's heads to turn

For the too-long glances in the grocery store aisle

For them to dream of me in a new way.

I never cared before but now-

Now their attention is the only way

I feel beautiful anymore.

When I apply it to my lips and blend them with a POP!

I still don't know if I look beautiful for them

Or for me.

-

Day 2/14

Im a bit too prideful to admit

That im afraid to say im wrong

But you already knew that, babe

And you have for far too long

Kisses between

Desperate mouths

Inhaling like a drag

From a cheap cigarette

Remembering a time

When all we desired

Were words

Instead of actions

You can only know

The phoenix

From the ash

It leaves behind