I Refuse To Feel Guilt For Being Human.

Not by blood, but by spirit

There’s no ache like hometown ache

Beautiful women named ⚠️HAIL WARNING⚠️ keep messaging me

Please, just one more year. Give me one more year

She likes me 'cause I'm bad (went through a roundabout at 30 mph instead of the speed limit of 25)

I’ve found myself on many planes recently, and if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that some of y’all really need to clean out your pools. Them things lookin’ greener than a tree frog on Saint Patrick’s Day, goddog! 

Not to be a choosing beggar but why do gameshows only seem to be giving out money nowadays? What happened to kitchen appliance sets and cruises? Don't give me the burden of choice

Love is so visceral. I can feel it in my bones, my organs, my skin. I can feel it hang in the wind. I breathe it in, I breathe it out.

Maybe everything will be alright after all.

Few things match the horror of when you google something and the first thing that comes up is "Scholarly articles for..."

Like babe I'm just trying to study for my organic exam, you gotta give me the baby version

Thinking about the time I got attacked by crabs at the beach.