You Jinxed It Now You’ll Get Third

Our first football game was an away game and the stand were far too small for us and I realized that the reason was that the school was expecting a marching band that was a similar size to them which looked like 30-40 people.

We have over 70 people.

whoville fucking pisses me off like ooh look at all these holly jolly cunts

Alternatively:

Alright you get 5 minutes.

*2 minutes later* back on the field! let’s go! breaks over!

my friend made this when we played make it meme

Breakup sex with my vampire girlfriend call that the last nail in the coffin

The first thing I thought of while reading these is our drum major whom we constantly make fun of for her country accent

One of her country-isms is “god willing and the creek don’t rise” and then for one of our comps it rained so much that the school county canceled all events so we couldn’t go AND THE CREEK ROSE

im reading about cowboy phrases and sayings and like 95% of them are just solid life advice

Math is really tiring, im so glad i finally get to relax and do some knitting and crochet and i oh god oh my what the fuck

I’m great at playing clarinet

Fuck self modesty! Tell me something you know you're great at! I'll start. I'm a great cook.