What Is It They Put In The Hardware Store To Make It Smell So Good

NEW !!! SNAKE DISCOVERED

ITS CALLED THE LIMESTONE EYELASH PIT VIPER. THAT iS SO CUTE. ITS SO PRETTY

spin this wheel to get a random d&d class. you are instantly transported into the d&d world and have to live as that class

a quick kassandra sketch

Biiiiiiiiiig Xcom commission

I just saw a kink meme prompt whose "will not draw" list specifically included clowns. It fascinates me that we've reached a point where this needs to be specified up front.

My favourite fan theory about anything is "Gandalf fucked a hobbit once", as an explanation as to why he's so invested in them. Like several generations ago, purely by happenstance he just happened to encounter a fearless Took lass who decided to Fuck That Old Man and by the powers of supreme hobbit reproduction skills, the natural happens.

So Gandalf just goes "ah well fuck, gotta fix this", somehow makes sure she's arranged an excellent marriage, and pays her future husband a visit like "just a heads-up you're going to have an early, unexpectedly large and supremely excellent child and you are going to be nothing but loving and proud of your firstborn, or she is going to become a very rich young widow whose husband tragically died of a mysterious case of Killed By A Wizard, ok?"

And after that he's been visiting here and there to discreetly keep track of which ones are his descendants, and then after keeping track of all of them becomes too much work, decides to narrow down to the ones he's deemed to take after him (the ones the other hobbits think are weird, mostly) until deciding that Bilbo was his favourite. Probably has zero wizard blood in him by now and Gandalf doesn't even consider the hobbits he's been keeping tabs on as his offspring in any way anymore, it's basically a hobby to him by now.

So any time other Maiar or other immortal races notice him keeping an eye on the hobbits and ask him what's his deal with the halflings anyway, he just shrugs and goes "idk I just think they're neat."

Shoutout to all my fallout moots you guys are the only ones who get me. We respect Preston, Ulysess, and X6-88 in this household

How would the assassins react to meeting John Wick?

I was thinking if this should be a Modern Day AU or if it’s John Wick timetraveling kind of thing. Modern Day AU would probably be easier because if John Wick timetravel, he’d probably adopt a dog and live a simple life somewhere he knew would be peaceful (plus, the man deserves it)

So for this one, they meet John Wick during different times in his life.

Altaïr would consider him to be dangerous and would go down the rabbit hole trying to find him to check if he could be part of the Order. This ends up with him finding out about the Continental Hotel and that’s a whole other thing that he now has to deal with.

Ezio wants to recruit him because he saw his skills and thought “I can help him get better”. Every time their paths crossed, Ezio’s full on recruiter mode. Everybody else jokes that he has a guy crush. Ezio would agree. “I have fallen in love with him the moment he put a bullet between the eyes of my own target.”

Ratonhnhaké:ton has some kind of silent agreement with him if they cross path. You go your way and I go my way. He does consider him to be a good hit man (the Brotherhood does not like to call them ‘assassins’) but he also knows how annoying it would be to be focused on because of mistrust (Altaïr) or because they wanted your skills (Ezio).

Desmond actually met him when he was a bartender during one of John’s mission. He knew something was different about him and thought he might be an Assassin… but no. He wasn’t. Desmond honestly let out a sigh of relief when John said he was a contract killer, much to John’s amusement.

Edward crossed paths with him before John Wick became a contract killer. He was actually the first one to try and recruit him but John Wick turned him down. Ezio goes to him whenever he’s turned down and Edward just laughs. He and John did go drinking once and John told him he did wonder how his life would have been if he had agreed to Edward’s offer.

Arno is always polite around him and sometimes ask if they could team up. John always reject his offer though. Whenever he does, Arno would send his location to Ezio who would know immediately it’s John Wick related… because Arno can be quite petty XD

Jacob absolutely tried to recruit him and his way is more joking and a bit flirty. He would tell Evie that he was not flirting with the man. Evie would just raise an eyebrow at him then turn to John to apologize for her twin’s actions.

Bayek tried to recruit him once but stopped when he said no. The last time they met, he learned that John had given up his life as a contract killer to be with the woman he loves and Bayek wished for him the best. (we all know how that ended)

Basim and John first met when they were both just starting their careers in their respective ‘industries’. The next time they met, John noticed that something was different about Basim. Basim just laughs it off and tells him that he hadn’t changed. He just became who he truly was before.

look, it's easy, okay? High Fantasy has An Hero whose Destiny is Sword, and Low Fantasy has Some Schmoe whose Job is Sword.