Every Five Minutes The Automatic Light At My Work Turns Off On Me Like

Finally, someone gets it.

🤔 much to think about

having writer friends is being like in the world’s tiniest fandom except to get new content you have to beat it out of the author with a stick

Took me years to understand the "why the long face" punchlines to "so a horse walks into a bar" jokes because I just thought that's a normal sized face to have if you're a horse. It never occurred to me judge a horse by the standards of man

Oh...

Hello there.

tap for a surprise

You're just mad you're not a cool silver dragon.

I am a rat and this website is the deep frier at a whataburger in texas

Oh and:

Talk to men.

So far today at work I've had to:

Clean blood off of a door,

Manage three entrances by myself, all very far apart,

Learn how to turn off the handicap lock,

Let two groups into the building at the same time, from opposite doors,

And catch like, 30 seels in Pokémon Go.

I got here two hours ago.

If you're reading this, you're on Tumblr!

Loser idiot human totally got drinked lmao

if i was a vampire i would say "i drinked you" after feeding

NEW! TITS!

FOR MEN.