Feel Free To Add To The Playlist, No Talking Or Explanation Necessary. I’ve Added A Couple Here And

I can’t explain why I still feel the way I do, I have every reason not to care or feel anything towards you, but I still care so much. I can’t move on because I don’t want to do that to someone else, and so I’m just stuck in this emptiness. I wish I could just feel nothing at all.

The shitty decline when someone you care about intensely decides to humiliate you publicly, treat you like garbage, and pretty much rip your soul into pieces because you care and Yet they choose to use that against you and break you down over and over....... that feeling right there, is something I will never be able cope with or “unfeel”. It is a heartache unlike any other, especially when you know that person is in agony due to other factors in their life. It’s self inflicted soul pain that you’re doing out of love and it eats you from the inside out.

these are actually nice ASKs

1. selfie

2. what would you name your future kids?

3. do you miss anyone?

4. what are you looking forward to?

5. is there anyone who can always make you smile?

6. is it hard for you to get over someone?

7. what was your life like last year?

8. have you ever cried because you were so annoyed?

9. who did you last see in person?

10. are you good at hiding your feelings?

11. are you listening to music right now?

12. what is something you want right now?

13. how do you feel right now?

14. when was the last time someone of the opposite sex hugged you?

15. personality description

16. have you ever wanted to tell someone something but you didn’t?

17. opinion on insecurities.

18. do you miss how thing were a year ago?

19. have you ever been to New York?

20. what is your favourite song at the moment?

21. age and birthday?

22. description of crush.

23. fear(s)

24. height

25. role model

26. idol(s)

27. things i hate

28. i’ll love you if…

29. favourite film(s)

30. favourite tv show(s)

31. 3 random facts

32. are your friends mainly girls or guys?

33. something you want to learn

34. most embarrassing moment

35. favourite subject

36. 3 dreams you want to fulfill?

37. favourite actor/actress

38. favourite comedian(s)

39. favourite sport(s)

40. favourite memory

41. relationship status

42. favourite book(s)

43. favourite song ever

44. age you get mistaken for

45. how you found out about your idol

46. what my last text message says

47. turn ons

48. turn offs

49. where i want to be right now

50. favourite picture of your idol

51. starsign

52. something i’m talented at

53. 5 things that make me happy

54. something thats worrying me at the moment

55. tumblr friends

56. favourite food(s)

57. favourite animal(s)

58. description of my best friend

59. why i joined tumblr

60. ask me anything you want

I’ve now been single for 10 months, sober from alcohol (besides one night) for over a month, and back in the kitchen for over 2 months. There have been lots of ups and downs, a few really bad downs, and a few pretty good things happen. There’s still a few hurdles to get over but I’ve survived everything thus far, so I’m sure I’ll be just fine. I’m glad I’ve made it through and used it to rebuild myself and come out a stronger, more focused person who is more true to myself than ever. There’s always more work to be done, but like I said, I’ve survived everything else.

Time to quit drinking again, while the momentary numbness is kinda nice, it’s not really doing anything for me but turning me against myself and pushing all those I care about away. So let’s try this whole sobriety thing out again, it’s going to be rough at first, especially alone. I know it will be more than worth it in the end. I can’t keep doing this to myself, I’ve thrown away too much already.