I Wish There Was A Eliot Spencer Video Edit Put To 'I Need A Hero' By Bonnie Tyler. Please It Would Be

it’s my birthday, im high, im dressed like a pirate, i just got back from a punk gig, im carrying a big pot of peeled potatoes, and my uber just rearended a car

perhaps a comedically large mallet to the head will save me

Let’s be shown off by mama

may i put forth the blue-black grassquit? they are finches and i think they fit his whole celestial aesthetic thing. also they look just black in certain light and most black birds are associated with bad luck

it would be an easy pull to say that if eugene were a bird he’d be a crow or raven (or some variety of finch) BUT i think he’s a common loon due to his mysterious and enigmatic nature and the fact that if any bird could talk to ghosts it would be a common loon (their calls are used in horror movies all the time bc of how creepy they are) and also it kind of suits his general color scheme, plus they have a very “spooky and elegant and beautiful but also dumb as rocks” vibe.

if you were dead set on keeping it in family corvidae (and who could blame you!) i’d say a eurasian magpie due to both the aforementioned color scheme consideration and the fact that magpies seem to display above average levels of both intelligence and empathy and are seen as good or bad luck by various cultures (which i think suits eugene yknow he’s complicated!) and often associated with witchcraft.

if you REALLY want it to be a crow (respectable this isn’t a crow hate page EVER do NOT take that away from this post) i’d go with a hooded crow bc he wears a cloak. thank you all for your time pictures of birds below the cut

if i were a supervillain i would make escape rooms and lock people in them. i wouldn’t kill them or anything, id supply them with food and water and such, id just wait and see how long it took them to get out. id also do experiments on people such as kidnapping someone and dumping them on an island with a language completely unfamiliar to them (seperate origin too) and seeing if the critical period of child language acquisition is real. i would never do these things as i do in fact have morals and a general desire for others to be happy HOWEVER if i got hit with evil-serum i would be a mostly harmless but very irritating villain. i just need someone to do my little rat races but hamsters cant understand morse code so alas unless i lose all my morals i am stuck. im like the riddler with a slightly different brand of autism.

i put the double D in PMDD...uhhh....hmm..someone with big boobs should steal this, it does not apply to me...

hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate (throws up and dies)

gay apparel donned #jolly

forgot to eat bc i was too busy contacting nasa to get them to fix a mistake i noticed on their website

having adhd is all fun and games until you forget to eat because you are too busy sharpening your axe