I Need Toast RIGHT NOW Or I Will Cry So So Hard It Will Make Oceans And Drown This Toastless Hell

getting a worst enemy who's just some guy sucks bc i want to fist fight this bastard but instead he's just responding to me on google reviews, like a coward

every day i resist the urge to chime into stranger’s conversations but man is it hard sometimes

i dont want a fuck-buddy i want a fight-buddy where we mutually consent to occasionally beating the shit out of each other

bitches hate me bc i enjoy a nice glass of cold milk. also unrelated but i might have lead poisoning.

gay apparel donned #jolly

usidore the blue ass mf

i have no fucking idea what this means but i looked it up and it seems like that's a wizard so hell yeah i'll take it

painkillers are a lie made by big pain to give you false hope

I gave a victorian kid some sour patch kids and he sprinkled a little bit of cocaine on it as casually as you would salt before even taking a bite

reblog to give warm bread to your mutuals

the wives based on an ad i got on pinterest- awooga