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Prelude in C-Sharp Minor

The piece I had in mind was Rachmaninov's Prelude in C-Sharp Minor.

Xanthus Claiborne x Reader

Xanthus plays the piano to express his emotions. You hear his pain.

Since your mission to take down the Trimedian, Xanthus had been distant. 

You brushed it off at first, thinking he needed some time on his own to recover from the shock and the betrayal you knew he must have felt when he saw Audric again. People dealt with trauma in different ways, and while you felt safest wrapped in his arms, you recognized that having spent as much time relying solely on himself to deal with everything might have led Xanthus to need to process things on his own. You didn’t push. 

He would come to you if he needed someone to hold on to. He would talk to you if he needed to express his emotions and just vent for a while. He would nuzzle his head into your shoulder and cry if he needed to, wouldn’t he?

Xanthus was always there for you when you woke up screaming from another nightmare or felt tears choking you as you thought back to the mission. He could feel your emotions, so he was next to you in an instant, gathering you into an embrace and making you feel safe, reminding you that it was over, that you were alright, promising he would not let anything happen to you. Never again.

Despite the bond, you had not felt any feeling of terror, anger, or sadness coming from Xanthus. It was almost as if he had blocked you out, stifled his emotions so they would not get to you.

While he tried to put up a cheerful facade around you, his smile never reached his eyes anymore and the faux levity he brought into the thick atmosphere that had appeared in the mansion made you all the more worried for him. 

It did not help that his smile always dropped when you turned your back, and no matter how much effort he put into hiding it, the anguish in his ruby eyes could not be concealed. 

The soft notes of the piano carried gently through the hallway as you descended the stairs. Xanthus played beautifully, despite insisting that he was severely out of practice and had forgotten a lot of techniques over the decades. 

You walked quietly over to the living room, where the grand piano stood in front of the floor-length window. The flames in the open fireplace painted the room in a gentle light, illuminating the sheets Xanthus was reading from. You could not help but admire his form as he sat perched on the piano stool, moving his upper body in tandem with the notes he struck on the keys in Lento. 

The melody switched suddenly from feeling like a gentle but tragic autumn breeze to a grave, hurried expression of despair and fear as the tempo picked up. The playing nearly felt chaotic, and it made your heart ache to see the earnestness with which Xanthus conveyed the heaviness of the piece.

To him, it expressed the disarray of his thoughts and feelings.

He had nearly lost you on the mission. He had put you in danger, even though you always reminded him that you had gone willingly, fully understanding the risk you were taking. It did not matter. When you were separated, he had failed to protect you. He had let you down.

He had broken his promise to you.

It kept him up at night, the memory of the fear he had felt and could sometimes still feel coming from you through the bond; the sound of Audric's smooth voice as he taunted him for his affection, his weakness.

The Agitato concluded as Xanthus struck the notes, making you wince at the burning anger you heard in them. They sounded nearly discordant from the force with which he played them.

No matter how loud he played, the echo of Audric's venomous laugh, the sound of your fearful breaths never left his mind.

As the tempo picked up again, Xanthus continued striking the keys, pouring his heart into the forte fortissimo and adding such melancholy and despair into his playing that pesante did not begin to cover the pain you could hear him express.

Tears gathered in your eyes at only being able to guess at the anguish he was going through because Xanthus simply would not talk to you. Maybe he would, in his own time, but only watching and hearing him suffer through everything alone made your heart break regardless. The notes he played on the piano were the only expression of his grief you had been witness to.

The volume decreased slowly, with a few changes of rhythm. Xanthus sighed as he played Lento, the last notes of the piece carrying through the room like a whisper of defeat.

“I can hear your heartbeat, you know,” he whispered into the heavy silence stretching across the room, “It’s quite distracting when I try to keep the rhythm.” Xanthus turned around on the stool, the light of the fireplace reflecting in his eyes and painting his face in a warm glow. 

You could see the gravity the gaze levelled at you and came closer, brushing your hand along his cheek in a gentle caress. “You play beautifully,” you told him, bending down to place a tender kiss against his lips. 

Xanthus hummed into the kiss, a small smile appearing on his face as you broke apart. “I have you to be my muse, love,” he said, placing his hand over yours to pepper soft kisses against your palm. 

“It was rather heavy, though.”

“Rachmaninov told a suffocating tale in it, yes,” Xanthus conceded, standing up to guide you to the sofa facing the fireplace. “That doesn’t make it any less of a masterpiece. The tragedy and despair conveyed so candidly— they make it one of the most emotional pieces I have ever played.”

You took hold of his hands, beginning to play with his fingers and rubbing your thumbs against his joints. A pianist's hands ached after playing difficult pieces, you had read somewhere. “You know I’m here if you need me, right?” you asked quietly, looking him in the eyes. 

His gaze softened as he leaned over to kiss you again. “I know, love,” he whispered, resting his forehead against yours, “Thank you.”

The two of you stayed cuddled together for the rest of the evening, gazing into the flames.

“Why don’t you play Liszt’s Campanella next time?” you teased after a while, raising one of his hands to your lips. 

“Very funny, love.”

Strictly Business

Isaac asks for a relationship that is entirely professional. You oblige, to both your disappointment.

Isaac Rhoades x Reader

Warnings: talk of insomnia

“I just thought—” you began hesitantly, moving the tray of cinnamon swirls closer to Isaac, prompting him to take a second one. The placating motion did nothing to ease the frown on his face. His hard stare remained fixed on you, annoyed and dismissive. You felt your heart sinking and averted your eyes.

Isaac hummed unbothered as if he couldn’t care less about your request to spend time together — as if he did not care in the slightest to entertain your pathetic longing for human company. “I’m busy, you know,” he said by way of dismissal and pushed the plate of freshly baked cinnamon swirls back towards you. 

After a bit of prying, you had found out that his mother used to make them when he felt sad and — with the anniversary of his parent’s death so recent — you wanted to cheer him up and surprise him with his comfort food. Isaac did not appreciate your efforts, evidently.

You tried to take the blunt rejection of both your company and care for him in stride, but you could not suppress the tight clench of your jaw as your heart squeezed painfully in your chest. “If I overstepped the other day in the garden,” you said slowly, raising your gaze to meet Isaac’s and show him the sincerity of your apology, “I didn’t mean to. I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable in any way. I—”

“It’s fine,” he said curtly, rising from his seat at the table and straightening his tie. “Think nothing of it. It was a lapse of judgment on both parts. We can pretend it never happened.”

“But I actually—”

“No,” Isaac interrupted, holding up a hand to silence you, “our relationship is strictly professional and I intend to keep it that way. I’m sorry, but I am in no way interested in anything more. There is nothing between us. Understand?” 

Isaac’s stare burned into you and you swallowed thickly, hiding how much his words hurt. “I understand,” you said in a tone so calm and drained of feeling it took Isaac aback. 

He blinked in surprise, no longer used to your flat tone and apathetic stare. ‘Sir’ hung unsaid in the air between you. Isaac cleared his throat to break the loaded silence stretching across the house again. 

You got up from your seat, brushing down the front of your clothes. “Well, as you said, my services will not be needed on my day off. I will be in the library should you change your mind,” you said tonelessly, leveling Isaac stoically. 

There was a glint of worry in his eyes, a chip in his armor you could only spot because you had spent many hours with him, paying close attention to his expressions and mannerisms. Isaac looked unsure. His mouth was slightly agape, but whatever he wanted to say was buried a moment later, hidden behind the thick wall of nonchalance and indifference he put up. 

The crack in his mask was sealed, and expressionless eyes met your own.

“Happy reading.”

Isaac thought he knew what loneliness felt like — he had lived in solitude for years now — but no amount spent on his own had prepared him for the heart-wrenching sorrow he felt as you continuously brushed him off, retreating into yourself and being the strict definition of utterly professional. 

He felt hollow, watching you set the table with only one plate for him to eat at alone, hearing your monotonous voice ask him if he would prefer rice or pasta, seeing your lips twist in a polite but ingenuous smile as you greeted him in the mornings, handing him his coffee and disappearing to start on your daily chores. 

There had been no sweets, nor snacks you would prepare for him and shily requested he give you feedback on. There were no little bursts of light throughout his day as your paths crossed and you shot him a smile or playful wink. 

There were no intimate moments between you two where you would look at him with an open, vulnerable expression and rest your head against his chest as you told him about your past. There was no tender, featherlight caress of your fingers on his cheeks as he revealed some of his fears and troubles to you. 

You had shut him out, adhering to the boundaries he had impulsively set as his anxieties got the better of him. Now he was left with the consequences of pushing you away.

‘There is nothing between us,’ he had said, but why was his heart breaking every time you looked at him with your cold stare and turned your back a moment later? Why was he lying awake at night, his mind occupied only with thoughts of you as the devouring feeling of loneliness and loss swelled in his chest and choked him? Why was he missing you so terribly that it made tears gather in his eyes when you had your back turned?

It was pathetic, and one night, after you had shot down his concern for the dark circles under your eyes and told him it should be of no matter as long as you performed your duties to his standard, he recognized his sentiment to be a lie. 

There was something between you. There had to be because the sinking feeling as you, clearly hurting, turned away once more tore him to shreds. There was no other explanation for it, but Isaac was afraid of what that realization brought with it.

He was afraid that the admission to his all-encompassing love for you would be the very thing that destroyed him. Everyone he loved was gone, and he felt his hands beginning to shake at the thought that you — now among those he adored — would meet the same fate because he was too slow, too weak, too incompetent to protect you.

Still, there was only so much hollowness he could endure, and the loneliness engulfing him was so acute that it had begun hurting to exist in the house. Your brief company somehow made him feel the loneliest of all.

A quiet sound of protest came from one of the corners of the library as Isaac switched off the light. “Sorry,” he apologized tiredly, turning the light back on to look at you, huddled on the small sofa with a blanket around you and a book in your hands. Judging by the cover, it was Frankenstein. “I thought you had already gone to bed and left the light on by mistake. I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

You glanced at the clock on the wall and sighed. It was late. However, something kept you from sleeping for the past few weeks, and no matter how tired you were, it was nearly impossible for you to doze off. At times, when the morning sun was slowly rising over the horizon and the first rays illuminated the dark blue of night, it felt like you were too tired to fall asleep.

“No worries,” you said curtly, resuming your reading, “I will make sure to turn off the light when I go up in a minute. Good night.” 

The lie rolled off your tongue as if it were nothing. Isaac did not move from his place in the doorway. You knew he knew that you couldn’t sleep. It was evident in your appearance, your red eyes with dark bags beneath them that looked more like bruises with every passing day. The soft footsteps he could hear pacing around the house at night when you were too restless to sit down. He would be a lousy private investigator if he had not noticed your insomnia coming back in full force.

“I—” he said into the silence, making you look towards him.

“It is rather late,” you answered, trying to discourage Isaac from starting any conversation. In truth, it hurt having him near you when he was seemingly an infinity away, hidden behind some brick wall he had put up to keep the world out — you included. 

It was his decision, and after the kiss, or as he called it, a ‘lapse of judgment,’ you did not think it right to push his boundaries after he had so clearly told you and shown you with his actions, that he wanted nothing but a professional relationship with you. It made your heart crack, but you were adamant to give him only what he asked for, only as much as he wanted from you. It made the situation somewhat bearable to know it was what he wanted.

Isaac cleared his throat, stepping further into the room. “I know, but I— It’s just that you—” he stuttered, suddenly nervous at confronting you. “You haven’t been—”

“Well, I certainly am tired,” you said, marking the book to set it on the small table beside the couch and rising from your comfortable cocoon to fold the blanket neatly and place it over the back of the couch.

“Wait, I—”

“Good night then, boss.” You brushed past him and kept walking towards the door, but a hand on your wrist stopped you. “Don’t forget to turn off the light,” you said, fighting against the urge to lean into Isaac’s light touch. It wasn’t professional. That was not what he wanted. There was nothing between you.

“Don’t call me that, Pickle,” he said quietly, his thumb tracing small circles against your wrist. “I haven’t been— Our relationship has not been strictly business for a while now. It never was to begin with.”

“I thought that was what you wanted out of me,” you answered, unable to keep your voice from breaking as Isaac raised your hand to his lips, softly kissing the back of your hand. “You said—”

“I was wrong,” he said quickly, his eyes so earnest that you could not help but believe him, “I was scared that I would get too close to you after the kiss and then you would— you would leave me and— I don’t think I can go through that again, losing a person I love.”

At Isaac‘s words, something within you broke.

Tears began welling up in your eyes and you stepped closer to wrap your arms around him in a tight embrace, which he returned immediately. It felt so good to have him close to you again, his fingers running soothingly along your back as you could feel his elevated heartbeat pounding in his chest.

“You love me?” 

Isaac swallowed, squeezing you tighter and pulling you even closer to him as he steeled himself. “I do,” he said shakily, but the truth of his words was evident in the underlying confidence with which he delivered them, “and I’m sorry I made you doubt that. I’m sorry I pushed you away and dismissed our relationship as a mere work association when it has always been more than that. I— I was scared and I didn’t know what to do after you— after what you did for me and—“

You leaned back enough to meet his gaze. “Can I kiss you?” you asked, longing to do it properly this time, wanting to erase the bitter taste of rejection that had accompanied the feeling of Isaac’s lips on yours.

“Please,” he whispered, inclining his head as you moved to meet his lips.

Suffice it to say, with Isaac lying next to you in his soft double bed — him pulling you close and whispering sweet nothings into the darkness of night as your head rested on his chest and his arms were securely wrapped around you — you fell asleep almost immediately.

Isaac smiled, placing a kiss against the top of your head as he listened to your breathing even out.

starting to fall for the isaac with a cat propaganda

ranking how fire the d is 🔥

xanthus: 9/10

dontis: 10/10 he’s definitely hacking

jonah: 9.5/10 it’s them gamers….

andrew: 10/10 yk.

alex: 3/10 probably shriveled

zaros: prolly 7/10 he definitely hypes it up too much

asirel: 6/10 he probably decorates it

isaac: 10/10 i saw it

luca: 4/10 it’s purely just for the aesthetic

niall: 9/10 surprisingly fire

elias: 8/10 i’d put a bow on it

kayson: 🔥

The Song A Dove Sings

—————————-🧡—————————-

Synopsis: You sing Xanthus a beautiful song; one he won’t forget for as long as he lives.

Warning: Mentions of blood.

———————————🧡——————————

As dawn made way for the morning rise, with the orange, pink and red hues rolling over into a sky blue, your eyelids fluttered open to the golden rays of sunlight poking its way through the curtains, and the gentle chirps of the birds roosting in nearby trees. The rays of sunlight that woven its way through the balcony window painted the room in an ethereal golden glow. You were enveloped in the warmness of the blankets, the strong hold of the man you loved most, and the faint, lingering smell of cologne and coca butter. You focused on the hushed sound of his breathing, and the warm air of his breath dancing on your neck. You looked at his peaceful expression, the way his blonde hair fell messily over his pale face, and those long, beautiful eyelashes that so perfectly complimented those stunning ruby red eyes you’ve adored so much. Like most people, you weren’t a fan of mornings—and it’s not for the typical reasons. Before you and Xanthus found each other, you woke up to a gaping cavity in your heart, suffocated by the air of solitude that filled the room. It didn’t matter how brightly the sun shined, how blue the sky was, or how loudly the birds sang; mundanity always hung above your head like a dark storm cloud. Seeing your partner’s face reminded you that you were not alone anymore. With every rise and fall of his chest, with every hushed breath that entered the atmosphere, you were reminded that your melancholic days were fewer and far in between. And so, with your eyelids getting heavier and heavier, yielding to the gentle call of sleep—you nestled further into the warm embrace of the one you loved most in this world.

Until you heard a familiar cooing sound. A familiar chirp—one that echoed in the air; its sound fluttering through the wind, just like the wings of the bird it belonged to.

A familiar song.

Your eyes popped open—any trace of fatigue and weariness melting away. As much as it pained you leave the serenity of Xanthus’ arms, you had to. So, with a quiet groan and a lot of caution, you slowly crept out of bed and tiptoed to the balcony window. And sure enough, there it was.

A Mourning Dove.

Your stomach swirled with nostalgia, and your chest felt heavy. It had been ages since you saw one, and even longer since you’ve heard its hauntingly beautiful call. As the bird sang, you took a moment to admire its muted colors—its little body covered in beige and light gray hues. The corners of your mouth quirked up fondly as you watched the dove’s chest and throat puff out to make each sound.

“Love?” A groggy voice groaned behind you.

You turned around to see Xanthus sitting upright, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

“What are you doing?” He asked.

“There’s a mourning dove outside,” you replied.

He got out of bed and walked over to the balcony window.

“Ah. So there is. I haven’t seen one in so long, which makes sense—they aren’t native to the U.K.”

You didn’t answer. You merely watched it sing some more. And although, for a time, the silence between you two was very comforting, you could practically feel Xanthus’ inquisitive gaze.

“I take it that you really like this bird?”

“Yeah. A long time ago, back when I used to live with my parents—a dove that looked just like this one would perch on a ledge outside my window, and sing— once in every blue moon. I know a lot of people think that it sings a sad song, but I never thought so. I always felt comforted, and even a little joyful when I’d hear its song.”

“Is that so?”

You hummed. “I’ve always envied them.”

“Why?”

“Because they’re free; they have peace. I didn’t have that growing up. For my entire life, I was forced to live in fear—always looking over my shoulder, always flinching at every corner. I never let myself fully trust people because I never knew what their true intentions were. It felt like I was…trapped in a cage. And since everyone was out to get me and family, I never really got a chance to actually live my life.”

The cage might’ve been spacious, filled with all the luxuries one could ever ask for—it might’ve been familiar, and full of the people you loved, but…

A cage is still a cage, nonetheless.

“Do you feel free now?” Xanthus asked.

You hummed and rested your head on his shoulder. Dontis was an absolute saint for opening up his home to you two. He’s helped you guys out in more ways in one. You certainly weren’t ungrateful for everything he’s done for you two, but at that point it’d been months since you’ve left his penthouse. Months since you’ve got to try new food, or interacted with new people. Months since you were able to live your life.

Yes, his house was full of luxuriously plush couches, beautiful paintings, and wide flat screen T.Vs, but you still weren’t free. A cage is still a cage. But even after everything you’ve been through, if there was one thing you’d gained—-it was peace. You’ve found peace with Xanthus, and that was enough for now.

“When I die, I think I wanna become a mourning dove.”

Xanthus turned his head toward you. “What?”

“I remember you telling me something about the jokes vampires make when they die. You told me that if you died, you’d come back as a bat. So, I’m telling you now that when I die, I’m gonna come back as a mourning dove. So make sure to keep your ears open;

‘Cause I’m gonna sing you a beautiful song.”

……..

No matter where he went or where he tried to hide, death followed Xanthus everywhere—but it never really bothered him until he met you. Humans lives were fleeting compared to his own, and as fragile as a porcelain tea cup, teetering dangerously on the edge of a high shelf; one nudge away from shattering into numerous irreparable pieces. He never liked thinking about your death, or what’d it be like if you were gone—so he pushed those thoughts to the back of his mind, and cherished your presence while you were still around.

But ever since you and him had that conversation, he couldn’t stop thinking about it.

He didn’t stop thinking about it when he held your broken and bloodied body in his arms—your face drained of any color, your eyes dull and lifeless.

He didn’t stop thinking about it as he tore Audric to shreds after what he did to you. He could still feel the warmth of his blood dripping from his fingers.

He didn’t stop thinking about it when he gave your eulogy, or when he and your loved ones walked to the graveyard.

And he most definitely didn’t stop thinking about it when they lowered your coffin 6 feet into the cold, dark ground.

He couldn’t bring himself to leave your grave—even after everyone left. He couldn’t bring himself to speak, or to mutter any sort of apology for getting you into this mess. For being so careless. For being so damn weak. All he could do was sit in front of your grave, with his face buried in his hands, and sob inconsolably. He’d lost the person he was supposed to protect; his lover, a piece of his soul. And now, he felt incomplete—broken, even. So, all he could do was sit there, and cry until there were no tears left to shed.

Until he heard a familiar coo. A familiar chirp.

A familiar song.

He took his face out of his hands, and looked up; the red, bloody tears still streaming out of his wide eyes. And sure enough, there it was, perched on your headstone:

A Mourning Dove.

Its little body was bathed in beige and light gray hues, its throat and chest puffed out as it sang. And Xanthus watched quietly in disbelief until it was over. He reached his hand out, and the dove perched on his finger. And as soon as the bird made contact, he felt it.

It was you.

You came back to say goodbye to him, one last time.

The dove cooed once more, and flew away—the faint flapping sounds of its wings fading further and further away. He watched as the dove flew toward the sky.

You were finally at peace. You were finally free.

——————————-🧡——————————————

A/N: Ever since part 8.1–when Xanthus jokes about dying and being reincarnated as a bat, I couldn’t stop thinking about what kind of animal listener would end up being. I really, really love mourning doves, and I’ve always thought that they’d be a good fit for listener.

— 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐚 𝐥𝐨𝐭, 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫

✧·˚ the few times xanthus and love had some domestic moments together

𝓲.

“so you take the hair and go over and then under, you see?” dontis explains how to do a fishtail braid to you while using himself as a example.

“wow it’s really that simple?” he nods.

“yep it’s best not to over think it, it becomes muscle memory after a while, did you wanna try it for yourself?” you nod excitedly.

“i would love too.”

after a while you feel as though you’ve mastered the braid.

“i like this braid, it’s so simple but it looks so complicated and in turn it’s prettier.”

“i think you’ve perfected the braid now, you’ve been at it for hours and each new braid you make is better then the last.”

just as you finish combing out the braid from dontis’ hair, xanthus walks through the door, no doubt coming back from a fruitless search on some more information about the organization hunting him.

xanthus is clearly exhausted but still walks over to sitting on the couch and places a kiss on your cheek.

“i’ll be in the bedroom read if you need me love.”

you nod and watch him walk quietly to the bedroom. dontis picks up on your concern for him and chimes in.

“i have an idea, why don’t you try out your new braid skills on xanthus hm?”

you practically beam at the idea and thank dontis before quickly leaving to the bedroom. you knock softly on the door before hearing a ‘come in love’ from the other side.

“xanthus could i braid your hair?” you ask as you open the door to him sitting in bed reading a book.

“how many books do you think you’ve read?” you ask focusing on the braid you’re creating with his blonde hair.

“far too many for me to count. love are you sure you want to braid my hair? surely it would be easier to braid dontis’ since his is much longer than mine.”

“you’re probably right and he’d probably make less of a fuss about it.” xanthus looks up from his book, dumbfounded.

“i am not fussy.” he tries to move his head to look at you before you correct his position and he whispers an ‘ow’ as you pull his hair a bit.

“see? fussy.”

xanthus pouts as he hears dontis chuckle from the other room.

“i am not fussy” he mumbles.

you lean down and kiss him gently on the cheek.

“okay you’re not fussy, just pouty.” xanthus grumbles as he lets you continue braiding the short pieces of his hair.

“dontis i think you should let them braid your hair.”

dontis leans against the door frame and smiles.

“who do you think taught them?”

𝓲𝓲.

“what are you doing love?” your fingers light trace over xanthus’ palm lines while you lay in bed with him.

“you’re supposed to be asleep.”

“this one says you’ll live a long life.”

xanthus’ free arm wraps around you to pull you closer to him as he lets you continue reading his palm.

“oh really? what else does it say?” his eyes remain closed as he breathes in your scent before kissing your neck gently.

“does it say you should go to sleep?”

“that’s not how palm reading works you know.” you feel his lips curl into a smile again your skin.

“i know, but you need to get to sleep.” he says before placing a soft kiss on your jawline.

“sleep is so boring, palm reading is so interesting and palm reading a vampire is very interesting, plus i know you like the feeling of my fingers tracing your skin.”

“you little—”

“shit—” you quickly try to scramble away for him but his vampire reflexes are too quick for you and you’re trapped in his arms.

“go to sleep love.”

“do you miss being human?”

the question catches xanthus completely off guard and he has to think about it before he comes up with his answer.

“…yes.” he instinctively pulls you closer to him. “i didn’t before but now that i have you i miss it. i miss the fact i won’t get to grow old with you and that you’ll leave this plane of existence before me and i’ll be left alone.”

his answer stuns you to silence as you let his words sink into your mind. xanthus misses being human because of you. you place your hand over his and give it a light squeeze to reassure him.

“i’m not going anywhere on this plane of existence without you xanthus.”

“i appreciate that love.”

a part of xanthus aches for himself and his love since they’ll never be able to see him grow old. he lays awake most nights wonder if they’re upset at the fact they don’t have a normal partner, that they love a monster. the thought eats away at him constantly and he does his best to repress it, but it’s hard when you can feel what he feels.

“i love you xanthus, i hope you know that i couldn’t ask for a better life partner.”

‘life partner’ what a funny way to describe their relationship.

𝓲𝓲𝓲.

“xanthus how do you even know so much about skincare?”

for the past half hour xanthus and you have been doing skincare to keep the theme of a selfcare day and he has surprised you with knowing much more than you on what and what not to put on your face, he even defined your skin type and the best products for it.

“when you’ve been around as long as i have you pick up on a few things.” he says as he applies a cleanser to your cheeks.

“are the headbands necessary?”

“absolutely, you look adorable— look up for me.”

you sigh and look up so he can apply a cream for your under eyes that seem to grow darker by the day.

“i thought the roles would be reversed for this, you know me telling you what to use on your face.” you say as he finishes smoothing out the product.

“oh please, i don’t age.”

“then how do you—”

“lotion next!”

you smile and shake your head at the quick redirection of the topic.

“i would say with your complexion this will be the best product to use.”

he holds it up to you and you nod in agreement like you have a say in what’s happening. as he applies it you can’t help but stare at the focus on his features, it makes you smile.

“what are you smiling about love?”

“nothing, i just love you.”

xanthus stops his application and kisses you lovingly before pulling away.

“bleh, i think i got some of the toner on your lips and it is not a pleasant taste.”

you lick your lips to see what the fuss is about and you regret it instantly.

“oh bleh that tastes terrible!”

“i told you!”

finally here is some xanthus fluff! i’m not a monster, i love writing fluff but got so many asks for angst so i just did them all at once (YOU GUYS ASKED FOR IT)

this is an apology for what’s to come

.love always <3 pearl

.masterlist

Hi saku, quick question but if someone ever try to go between Isaac and pickle for pickle sake like taking them away from him. What would he do?

It depends on the context. If you mean kidnapping, then he would kill them. If the situation was such that Pickle's life wouldn't be threatened, then he would likely do a thorough background check on the person and frame them enough to land them in jail.

Help me !!! saku said that we will get an Valentine’s Day audio. But I forgot which character… it was Isaac or Xanthus I can’t find the information in the long live stream PLS ANYONE TELL ME !!!

NVM I FOUND IT ITS XANTHAS YAHHHHHHH YIPPPEEEE

istg everyone is down bad for that man.

Xanthus and Dontis in Part 9 Had me dead asf

Ya’ll remember back in Part nine where Dontis and Xanthus were captured in that enclosure? And Xanthus was tweakin tf out while Dontis was trying his best to get him to calm down?

YA’LL. The way I couldn’t BREATHE????

‘Cause ya’ll know what that reminds me of?? The dynamic between big and small dogs.

Ya’ll know what I’m talking about! Them big ass, scary looking dogs with them deep ass, loud ass, rumbling barks—those ones with sharp teeth and an intimidating but mesmerizing stare? Like YEAH, they LOOK scary, but in reality they’re the CHILLEST dogs out there!

Then you got them cute lil’ small dogs, with short legs—those ones that prance rather than walk—and will have you baby talking them and petting them??? AND THEN THEY END UP BEING THE AGGRESSIVE ONES?

I can’t help but think about Xanthus and Dontis when I think about big and small dogs, bro. Xanthus would most definitely be one of them smaller dogs who’d bark at anything at moves. And Dontis would definitely be one of them big ass, scary lookin dogs that’d probably just stare at the little dog barking its head off before he just yawns and goes back to sleep.

It doesn’t help that Dontis is literally like 6’2-6’3, while Xanthus is like—5’8. Lmao, I know they’re both in a life or death situation, and Xanthus had every right to freak out, but the way it was delivered absolutely sent tf outta me😭

And thinking about how their dynamic at that point is kinda similar to the dynamics big dogs and small dogs share only makes me laugh harder!

(Also, I’m not saying that all small dogs are aggressive and all big dogs are calm—like, that’s not like how it is all the time—but I do see it a lot)

If you could pick one character to spend the rest of your life with, who would it b?

I mean obviously you are going to say Alex but if not him 😛🥰

LMAOOOOOO ANON YOU GOT JOKES

This is hard, because I’m really attached to most of these characters! But, if I have to choose, it would most definitely be Xanthus!

From the very beginning he has been a real one. He looked out for us when we were getting stalked by Yandere boy, he was there when Fran was about to put us on a shirt, and he was still there when went on that mission. He took care of us every step of the way, and loves us in all of our entirety.

He never tries to run away from his problems, either. And I think he has the most integrity out of every character of the Sakuverse. He has more than a few skeletons in his closet and makes sure he doesn’t run away from any of them. He doesn’t make excuses for his actions—like when he accidentally killed Audric’s entire family. Even when Dontis was trying to give him an out by saying, “You didn’t know”, or “It was an accident”, he wasn’t taking ANY of that. He made sure to be honest about every kill he’s ever made, and doesn’t forget them because “they’re engraved in him.” He doesn’t whine about how hard life is, or throws a pity party whenever he makes a fatal decision. He simply recognizes the repercussions that will come with the choice he’s going to make, and simply lives with it—and that’s so commendable.

He loves art, (which is amazing, because I’m an artist), and is just a reliable person overall! I do admit, that he can be a bit overboard when it comes to the whole ‘possessive’ aspect of his personality, but compared to him, humans are weak and their lives last as long as mayflies. He is possessive because he wants to make sure that he can spend every last moment with us, and I think that’s beautiful.

If I was ever in a bind, I know he’ll be there for me. :)

And I also know that he’ll look after my kin after I’m gone, too. Which I find even more endearing.

Thanks for the ask! ❤️

˖⁺‧₊ kitty? kitty.

author's note: i'm kinda nervous to post stuff but you only live once, right? a big thank you to @yoosungs-cheeks and @jannine00742 (my name twin hehe~) for proof reading! feedback is appreciated !!

“You done in there, Pickle?”. It was one time you were craving pickles at 3 am and couldn't open the jar, one time. And yet here you were, being reminded of the incident every few minutes.

“Pthu! Yep, I’m done. And stop calling me that!”, you spit out the tooth paste, wiping your mouth with your designated towel. It had been a while since you had decided to stay with Isaac. Soon after, his bathroom became your bathroom. His sink, once only occupied with his shaving equipment and toothbrush, soon became more cramped with your skin care and toothbrush holder. His bedroom became your bedroom. His bleak grey bedding now littered comfortable pillows and his nightstand stacked with the library's newest additions.

Leaving the bathroom, you spot your lover nestled into one of the two surprisingly comfortable leather chairs. You wrap your arms around him gently from behind, pecking his cheek. “Whatcha reading?”.

You glance over as he flips the book over so you can read the title. “Lord of the Flies? Bleh”, you grimace before continuing, “Though, I can’t say I’m surprised, Golding is almost as cynical as you”. “Someone’s in the mood to play”, Isaac chuckles, pulling you onto his lap. He kisses your shoulder before turning back to keep reading.

“Mind if I have a sip?”, I ask, nodding to his tea. Isaac hums, but soon pulls it away before you could steal a sip from him. “On second thought, no”. You pout, nudging him gently, “Huh? Why?! Don’t be stingy~ You know I like earl grey”.

He chuckles at your whining. “Because, you just brushed your teeth. I do not mind sharing with you, but I don’t think the taste of toothpaste and tea go together, Pickle”. You huff quietly, but don’t argue back. With a quiet yawn, you lean your head against his, occasionally playing with the sleeve of his free hand or a stray lock.

Your eyes twinkle as you watch him read. It’s difficult not to kiss him with the way his brows furrowed slightly in concentration. Part of you wants to straighten out the crease, poke his cheek, or maybe nibble on his neck, just to see his reaction. Almost as if he’d read your mind, Isaac leans over to give you a soft kiss, his free hand reaching for your lower back, the other still holding the book.

“Someone’s needy”, he smirks, brushing a strand of your hair behind your ear, “Are you bored?”. You yawn again, shaking your head, “No, just want to bother you a bit. Pay attention to me~”.

“Tired?”, he cups your cheek, closing the book as he sees through your playful facade. Truth be told, you were exhausted - but going to sleep now would mean going to sleep alone. If you asked Isaac to come with you, he’d drop everything in his hands and do just that, but, knowing just how little free time he gave himself, you wanted to tough it out. “No. Unless you’re read to sleep”, you mumble, nuzzling into him slightly.

“I'm ready for bed anytime you are, Kitten,” Isaac grins, seeing through you instantly.

“…Kitten?”, you blink in surprise. “Huh. I can’t tell if that’s an upgrade or downgrade from ‘Pickle’”.

"Hm… do you prefer something else? It came to me naturally. You’re clingy and yet independent. Needy and playful when you know I’m busy, and while I can count on you for important matters, I can also count on the fact that you’re a brat and a tease. So, Kitten was a natural next step”.

You tilt your head in thought, before shaking it softly, “You’re so… weird sometimes, Isaac”.

Isaac chuckles and lets go of you but only to take you by the hand and lead you to your bedroom. He motions for you to lay down and climbs in behind you, his body wrapped against yours. There’s a comfortable silence.

“Isaac?”, you mumble after a while. Isaac pecks the side of your neck, humming quietly, "Hmm?”.

“…Can we actually get a cat?”. You had asked him a few times - albeit playfully.

"You were serious about that? If getting a pet is a necessity for you…".

You nod slowly, turning to face him. “I think it’d be a nice addition to the family. It’s too early to think about having kids, but getting a fur baby would be nice, no? Besides, you said you always wanted a pet as a kid”.

He hums again, leaning his head on your shoulder while stroking your arm in thought, “You have no idea how tempting the idea of a family with you is… It is too early, though, yes”. He nods, “My mom was good with animals. I always wanted a pet that I could play with, like a dog or maybe a cat, but my grandfather was allergic to them”.

You glance down at him, softly patting his head. “Would you prefer a dog, then? Puppies are cute too”.

He shakes his head, his reply coming in swift and shrap, “No”. “A dog needs to be walked daily. I don’t feel comfortable with the idea of you leaving the house periodically, anything could happen. No”. Your hand pauses, before you sigh quietly. As much as he tried to hide it, his paranoia was still clear as day. Baby steps.

“A cat doesn’t need to go outside”, you mumble, kissing his forehead. His breathing slowed down as he laid against you in silence, “A cat it is…”.

You sit up straight, mouth hanging open, “No way- seriously?!”. Isaac laughs at your sudden enthusiasm, “Calm down, Kitten. We'll go to the shelter in the morning, we'll pick out a nice cat, I'm sure. But for now just focus on your sleep, you won't be able to if you're this excited."

You snuggle back into the pillows, gigging happily, “Ah~ I’m so happy right now! What breed should we get? Oh- and are we getting a boy or a girl? Ah- we should probably buy a bed too right? And proper food? And those cute scratching posts! Are we adopting a kitten or an older cat? Or maybe- mmpf”.

Isaac cuts you short as you babble, silencing you with a gentle kiss, “Slow down, Kitten. You realize it is 3 in the morning, right? Can you at least wait for the sun to come up before you start planning our feline's every move?”.

You rub your neck sheepishly, “Sorry… I’m just excited!”. He can’t help but smile at you, cupping your face between his hands carefully, “I know, Pickle. Let’s sleep first and discuss the details tomorrow, hmm?”.

“Mmh. Good night, Isaac”, you peck his cheek. He returns the favor before closing his eyes.

“Isaac?… You didn’t brush your teeth…”.

© chol1na

A Warm Study

Isaac x Housekeeper (M4A ver.)

Description: You've been hard at work with Isaac ever since you agreed upon being his assistant and lover. Not knowing what else could happen during this long night of work, your thoughts were proven wrong.

✨This writing is SFW✨

No wink wonk moments here whehe. For now >:)

A Warm Study

It's been awhile since you've been in the library, reading and examining key factors in the current case you and Isaac have been trying to crack. Your fatigue was at its beginning, but your determination about this case's finale kept your eyelids lifted as every page engulfed you in curiosity and new possible leads. Whilst you were reciting the case, Isaac took notes and carefully set salient sheets of paper to the side - to be studied later for interrogation. Being his assistant in these matters truly made work easy for him - whilst still housekeeping, you enjoyed both jobs.

By: Azulaoi

You two examined and studied into the night with no interruption. Not for long, hunger began to build overtime during your study. "I guess it's time for a break?" you thought. You look at Isaac, pondering over something on his laptop while he fidgets with his pen. You scoot closer to him to see what he was looking at; he was looking at some sort of address. He notices your close presence and glances at you, "Are you alright? Are you getting tired, [name?]". You rest your head on his shoulder, looking at him, "No, not at all. Why do you say that?". He looks at you directly, "Well, it's obvious, isn't it? We've been working since this morning with no breaks in between - it seems like we haven't eaten dinner yet. Except breakfast, of course.". When he mentioned dinner, you immediately got up.

He laughs, "Heh, no need to be alarmed. You don't need to cook dinner today. Let's eat something that doesn't require much work, alright?". You respond, "true... What shall we eat?". He put his pen down, closed his laptop and got up. "Let's eat, check and see if we have any frozen foods we can heat up.". You nod at his suggestion and head toward the kitchen.

You sit near the counter as he walks over and opens the refrigerator. He stood there until he pulled a frozen pizza from the freezer. "Hmm... I think this shall do. I wouldn't consider this dinner - it's more like a midnight snack," he laughs. It was late however, you wanted to eat something before you two could continue work. He opens one of the cabinets and grabs two glasses, "Before I bake the pizza, we should refresh ourselves first. God knows how long I haven't gone without drinking water today...". He then poured water into both glasses and handed one glass to you.

Isaac begins to converse about the current case you both have trying to figure out. You tried your best to hold onto every word he said, but all you could do was stand there and admire how passionate he was about this case. "Perhaps I'm too tired to keep track of what he's saying," you thought as you sip onto the glass. Suddenly, you leaned the glass too close, spilling it all over your chest. You held onto the glass tightly to not drop it. The impact of the cold water seeps through your top, leaving nothing but slight exposure. Isaac immediately puts down his glass, deeply sighing, "Here, let me help you. My [name], you are so clumsy.".

He grabs a couple napkins from the kitchen counter, drying your top gently. "I'm sorry, Isaac. I don't think napkins are going to help. I'm completely drenched..." you say in a disappointing tone. He stops wiping and looks at you, "Are you... also wet from the inside of your top?". You nod and blush at his response. He hums, pondering for a moment. He clears his throat, "Take off your top.". You blink rapidly, "Come again?". He repeats it once more but in a demanding tone, "Take off your top, [name]. I'll go get you a new one.". Your eyes widened as the tension between you both rose. You didn't want to make the situation more awkward, so you did what he asked.

Slipping your top off, you felt a cold breeze caress your body. Shivering, you crossed your arms around your chest to cover yourself. "Thanks, I'll be ba-", he stops mid sentence and glances at you. He begins to examine you, instantly blushing as his eyes lay on your exposed torso. "Is there something wrong?" you asked worriedly. He shakes his head, unbuttoning his shirt, "It's nothing... Anyways, I'll lend you my shirt for the time being. I can't see you freezing like this.". You watch as he slowly unbuttons the last half of his shirt, slipping it off his shoulders and wrapping it around yours.

Your gaze wanders around his torso. Internally salivating his veiny biceps, his bare big pectorals shining from the kitchen lights, and his beautiful crafted abs. "He looks absolutely dreamy," you thought to yourself. "I want to feel them...". He was taken aback from your non-filter response. "You... Want to feel what?" his eyebrows furrow and cheeks flushed. You step closer to Isaac, your eyes still glued onto his glamorous chest. Your inner instinct wanted to feel him, but you couldn't bring yourself to. Soon enough, your eyes drifted away from embarrassment. "I'm sorry... My mind completely slipped. I shouldn't have stared at you like that.". Isaac catches your gaze and caresses your cheek, "You don't need to apologize. Safe to admit, even I can't keep my eyes off of you sometimes... Like right now.".

You grabbed his hand and slowly lay your cheek against it. "It's so warm...". Your eyes connect with his, peering at him with fondness. Isaac smirks at you - as you continue to rest and rub your cheek on his hand. It felt so comfortable that you could fall asleep - his hand like a pillow. Your eyes began to rest, laying your head fully on his hand. You didn't want your fatigue to win you over but instead wanted to savor this moment with Isaac.

What felt like ages snuggling against his hand, you open your eyes to see him leaning close to you. Planting his soft lips on yours, you close your eyes once more. You rest your arms on his bare chest as his arms wrap around your waist. Trembling from his touch, you pull him closer, deepening the kiss between you both. It felt so warm being so close against him, especially since the house has been freezing lately. You could've asked him to turn on the heater, but your heart wanted him to be your personal heater and his warm touch around your body.

He faintly sighs as he pulls away from your quivering lips, "I... Should go put on another shirt. I'll also put your top in the washer to wash. Stay put, alright?". You nod and stare at his bare back as he leaves the kitchen towards the laundry room. Once his silhouette disappears from your sight, you begin to giggle at the thought of his painted round red ears. "Was he blushing this whole time?" you thought, giggling. Even though he tries to brush it off and act cool, you never thought Isaac would look this cute when he's in this state. You, of course, wanted to see this side of him more often.

After waiting for his arrival for a few minutes, Isaac returns back. Your heart slightly drops as you notice something different from his facial expression: it was coldly stern. He walks up to you with his phone in hand "I'm sorry for taking a while, [name]. I was... Answering a call just now. Seems like we have found some new leads to our case.". You return his response with a smile, "That's great, isn't it? We are getting close to its finale!". He lets out a disappointing sigh, "Hm... Not quite, actually. This is still the beginning, and we still have lots to investigate here and there.". You nodded and looked down. "I know it's tough... But I'm truly grateful that you lend a hand on these cases. Without you, I would've pulled another all nighter," he says with a reassuring smile. "However, before we dig ourselves back into paperwork again... Would you like me to make us some coffee or tea?".

Your face lit up at his request, "Of course! I'll help make the pizza whilst you make the hot drinks-". He clears his throat, "Ah- no. How about... We make both of them together? Will that be okay with you, honey?". Your cheeks slightly flushed as he said the word honey. "Wait, did you just call me honey?". You ask as your eyes widened in surprise. His eyes fill with worry, "is that not a nickname of your preference? If not, I understand...". You shake your head, "No, no! It's okay! I don't mind at all. I... Love how you say it, to be honest.". He chuckles and gives you a nod in return, "Alright then, I shall call you that by now, honey.". He then gestured you into the kitchen to prepare yourselves a midnight snack.

Hearing him say honey a second time made your heart go berserk. It sounded heart warming and sweet - it had a nice ring. Of course, it sounded much better than being called a stray.

_______________________________________

I was fortunate enough to be able to finish this writing last night. It's short but... I hoped you all liked it :)

Thanks to my friend and best beta reader/grammar checker happiesttbearr for helping me out on spell check!

Love y'all Crumpets!

- Azulaoi💙

ahhhh okay okay so the latest ask (this one: https://www.tumblr.com/zsakuva/739500232427143168/i-was-watching-your-stream-yesterday-and-you?source=share) made me think of something! since listener has kinda tried to embrace isaac’s japanese side (by making gyoza for example), wouldn’t it be so cute if they tried to learn a bit of japanese for him and surprise him with it? or if he helped them study it?? i feel like he’d be really patient and gentle with that kinda thing hehe. maybe he’d tease them about their pronunciation a bit, or encourage them if they were a little shy? gah~ idk i just think he’d be really sweet about it!

man, saku. you never fail to take my obsession for fictional men to a whole new level…

take care of yourself and say hi to kimahri~!!

If Housekeeper decided to learn Japanese and surprise Isaac with it, the amount of love he'd feel would be insurmountable. He would do more than soften his gaze; I think he'd swoon and believe he's dreaming. To him, he'd wonder how he had someone as precious as the Housekeeper for a lover.

Isaac would take great pride in teaching Housekeeper the Japanese language and culture!

Thank you! :D

Isaac and listener having their first ever disagreement/misunderstanding as lovers ever ever???

𝐏𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐲 𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐂𝐫𝐲 ꨄ Isaac

˜”* ❝𝙄'𝙡𝙡 𝙬𝙖𝙞𝙩 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙮𝙤𝙪, 𝙗𝙖𝙗𝙚, 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙙𝙤𝙣'𝙩 𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙧𝙤𝙪𝙜𝙝, 𝙗𝙖𝙗𝙚.❞

⎯⎯ ୨ ୧ ⎯⎯

ꜱʏɴᴏᴘꜱɪꜱ: ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴇʀᴇ ɢᴏɴᴇ ꜰᴏʀ ᴛᴏᴏ ʟᴏɴɢ.

⎯୨⎯ " " ⎯୧⎯

Beep.

“Hey, when you get this, can you call me back? I want to make sure you’re okay. Bye, honey.”

Beep.

“It’s been an hour… I made some food for us. I know I normally don’t cook but you’re, wherever you are and I wanted to make something for us. Call me when you get this, love you.”

Beep.

“It’s been about… 4 hours since the last one? I’m getting kind of worried. I mean, I know you, you wouldn’t ignore me or anything so I hope you’re okay. Just make sure to call me when you get this, bye.”

Beep.

“honey, please come home, It’s three in the morning.”

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

You open the door quietly. You knew you were gone for a long time but didn’t want to wake up Isaac.

“Welcome home.”

You jumped at the voice that spoke to you.

“Isaac? What are you doing up right now?”

You put your coat up and walk closer to him.

“Where were you?”

“Isaac, you need to slee–”

“Don’t tell me what to do, Y/N. Where were you?”

You’d never seen him this angry before especially not to you. You knew what the time was, you knew how tired he was.

“Isaac we can talk about this when you get the sleep you need.”

“The sleep I need? You were gone since, what, nine? Do you know how many times I tried calling you?”

“I was busy.”

“And you couldn’t call back? I thought something happened to you, I didn’t know where you were and why.”

“You didn’t need to. I’m sorry I was gone for so long but I’m here now.”

You walked away out of frustration and went into the kitchen.

“No, we’re not doing this. What if you got hurt?”

“But I didn’t! Isaac, I need you to stop trying to babysit me! You’re always trying to fucking watch over me but I’m grown. I don’t need you to watch me all the damn time!”

You could hear him get up to follow you, clearly pissed. 

“Maybe because I care about you?! I don’t want to find out that I couldn’t protect you or some crazy shit like that! I was sitting here for hours, waiting, all because you couldn’t pick up the phone! You’re mad at me? I’m the one that should be mad! You know I’m paranoid, Y/N.”

You grabbed a drink from the fridge and a cup to pour it in. You weren’t ‘mad’ at him, you just didn’t feel like arguing.

There was a new found tension between the two of you and you didn't like it. It felt tight, suffocating.

“Isaac,” You look at him.

He stops his movement to look at you. His eyes were full of worry and anger.

“I understand, you worry about me. I’m sorry I didn’t call you back. I didn’t mean to make you worry, okay? I just don’t want to fight and I just want us to be okay.”

“We are okay. I just– just, tell me next time. You didn’t even let me know before you left.”

You put everything down and hugged him. He was fragile and you forgot that. There was so much built-up emotion in his system and you could tell. He melted into you a bit, he needed to let go.

“I’m sorry, Isaac. I love you, okay?”

He looked at you and smiled, “I love you too, honey. We can have a better conversation about this later, okay?”

You nodded and took him to bed. 

Sure enough, when he woke up, he gave you an entire lecture about not answering your phone but you knew he just wanted you to be safe. Though, given his past, you knew you should’ve said something.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

thank u for requesting but how DARE YOU (ily)

I was watching your stream yesterday, and you mentioned Isaac speaks Japanese.

It made me kinda curious, since, if his mother passed so early on (around 12 if I remember correctly), and his grandfather was from his father’s side, how did he manage to upkeep it for so long? Did he have friends in college who spoke it, or maybe some distant relatives? 

Even if, I can’t imagine how difficult it must be for someone who hasn’t had a consistent conversation partner for 17 years to speak 3 languages fluently, (counting Spanish).

I grew up having to juggle three languages at home, and I still find it really difficult to speak and express myself in all of them properly, despite having family and friends I can talk to everyday. A part of me wants to think he tried consuming Japanese media to keep a part of his mother alive, but that’s probably me just overly romanticizing reality haha~. 

I’ve been following Isaac’s series since the beginning, and while it’s sad to see him go, I really enjoyed the ride:)) Thank you for your hard work! All of your characters are super well written and the level of detail, down to the accuracy of the geographical locations (which still blows my mind), and the small links between each of the series is actually insane. I’d kill to meet any of your oc’s irl (except for Alex *cough*). So yeah, thank you:)

(also, please ignore the grammar/spelling, this was one stream of consciousness rip)

I'd assume that, due to how fond he was of his mother and the memories they made together, he'd actively attempt to keep it close. Universities are very diverse, so I can imagine him making Japanese friends, or those who spoke the language.

I'd also think that his job and the clientele he interacts with would be from all over, including Japan, so he'd need to be adept enough in the language to read, write, and speak it. Within his library, I'd expect there to be Japanese books among them too!

In my eyes, he wouldn't forgive himself if he lost that skill because he would view it as losing a part of his mother, something he desperately strives to save.

Thank you so much for the support! (And don't worry about the writing haha)

Guys I have listened to Xanthus audio part 9 so often. I am smiling trough it THE ANGST ISNT ANGSTIE ENOUGH ANYMORE !!!

— can’t catch me now

[𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫] xanthus claiborne

a/n: just a heads up this is not written like my usual fan fictions <3

a cold numbness spreads through xanthus’ body as he watches the scene in front of him unfold. the lifeless body of his lover lays on the floor in front of him. their blood pools around them as xanthus looks up to the assailant with eyes that pierce through their soul. what happens next xanthus can barely remember, the room is flooded with painful screams as they plead for mercy but in the end he now stands over two bodies, covered in blood that is not his. the warmth of his lover has faded and is now only a distant memory. he cradles their corpse in his arms and lets out a wail of grief he didn’t know he had in him.

the next few years tick by agonizingly. the empty feeling hasn’t left him since that faithful day. the hole that his lover left feels as though it grows deeper with each passing month. he sees them everywhere in the little things humans do that resemble them when they were still among the living. it’s always the smallest thing, like the way someone in the distances laughs or a passing smell of a perfume/cologne they had used. their presence lingers in xanthus’ mind always, they’re stuck in his memory.

every person he feeds from leaves a sour taste in his mouth, for in his mind it is not the same. he is drinking to live but before he was once drinking because he loved. each taste is bittersweet and unfamiliar.

‘it’s not fair.’

xanthus thinks to himself as he stares down at passed out body of his latest victim. he wonders why he wasn’t strong enough to defend the love of his painfully immortal life. every waking moment he exists, he is haunted by the ghost of what could’ve been.

xanthus drowns himself in sleepless nights with nameless people trying to feel what he felt before but to no avail. the emptiness is never filled, he remains hollow and feels like a half of him is missing, the better half of him.

unfinished paintings litter the floor of xanthus’ home, all portraits of his deceased lover and each one is painted slightly differently then the one before it. the details of their face are fading in the memory that xanthus was once so proud of. it hurts to slowly forget someone that he once loved. he regrets not taking more photos over them when he had the chance.

he picks up a blank canvas and his brushes to begin on another painting of the face they he once kissed with his own lips. he starts painting the only face of yours that his burned in his memory, unfortunately for him it’s a face that wasn’t living. after only a few hours he stands back from his work and lets his eyes drink in what he has created.

if no one knew the story behind the painting they might say it’s the most beautiful piece they’ve ever seen, but xanthus refuses to let anyone other than him see the worst image he has in his memory. he knows that only he should be the one to live with the pain, since he believes it is his fault for the death of his partner.

hot tears stream down his face as xanthus bares his teeth in anger. he throws the painting across the room in a fit of rage and collapses on the floor in a broken mess.

‘they are gone because i wasn’t fast enough. i was careless.’

the painting lays broken in a mess across from an open window, the draft it creates carries the smell of fresh paint throughout the large building. the moon’s glow floods the rooms and creates a makeshift spotlight on the destroyed painting, which draws xanthus’ attention away from his pity party.

the wet paint glistens in the pale moonlight until a shadow appears on the windowsill, the shadow of a small bird. xanthus looks at it quizzically and carefully shifts to move closer, worried that the bird might flee at the sudden movement, but it doesn’t. the bird remains on the sill even as xanthus looks over it, in fact it even looks up at him to chirp happily.

without even realizing xanthus extends his finger for the bird to perch itself on and it does so with hesitation. he’s confused about this little fearless bird, birds are the definition of fight or flight and yet this one chooses neither.

‘could it be?’

xanthus’ mind fills with delusional hope for in the back of his mind he knows it couldn’t be possible, yet he has no idea why this bird is not afraid; maybe it’s because they never were.

the bird chirps once more almost as if to say goodbye before flying back out of the open window. the moon shines off its wings and xanthus watches as it goes. maybe someday he’ll be with you again, flying together above the trees in the moonlight.

please reblog to show support ✧·˚ ༘ * ༄

i get so many requests about the listener dying so i was like i wonder what xanthus would do with himself after?

.love always <3 pearl

.masterlist

now that christmas is over,

fuck all three of these characters they make me throw up inside my mouth

Isaac final audio was great. Never imagined a fictional character can have such control over my emotions. Thank you Isaac, thank you for the 3 years old series and thank you Zsakuva. Isaac will always be special and seeing him getting the love and comfort he deserves makes all my problems disappear. Live laugh love Isaac … we will see you in the future 🙏 I’m not crying IM NOTT PLS SOMEBODY HELPPP

How is the „ai generator“ ad allowed on here help pls 😭😭😭

Reblog if you've ever cried over the death of a fictional character

Tired Smoking

Following your boss bad habit

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A day off.

It’s been a few weeks after Vic’s dead and Isaac is finally starting to be like himself again. The smell of cigarettes is gone as also empty bottles of whisky staking on the kitchen table.

But you, yourself seem to drift of more from yourself. But lucky you have a day of tomorrow since Isaac wanted prepare the garden for the season change.

It’s 2 am and as you enjoyed your own company since Isaac was not around. You had a great time though watching movies, a nice cup of tea, sweets, reading in your room and following your own hobbies.

Since you planned on staying up all night you decided to grab a few sweets to look up to the sky. It’s strangely something you find to enjoy after you got here… well rather brought here.

On your way to the kitchen and back. Passing the living room. You assumed Isaac was asleep since there are no lights on in the studies nor anywhere else, still it gave you a reason to be extra quiet.

You couldn’t help yourself but smile as you think of him… but he seems so distance. You knew why but still gave it your all… asking him what his favorite fruits are so you could do a cake out of it… what his favorite dish is… favorite tea… and favorite sweets. He appreciated your comfort but it didn’t do much… and you just reminded yourself of what you got yourself into. You snap back to reality standing in the living-room. You sigh as you spot a package of cigarettes on the sofa. He probably forgot them but you had this urge to smoke even though you hated them and never smoked in your life… staying 10m away after he had his cigarette break because the smell was EW !!!

You grab the package and it was already half empty… next to it the lighter and it was blue … like the color of his mothers favorite flower… „blue orchids“ what a surprise. You took one out and told yourself that if it helps Isaac to forget it will help you too.

A small light appears in the dark room, bringing it closer to your mouth as a quiet “psh” sound tickels your ears. A small inhale and coughs leaving your lungs as you cover your mouth to stay quiet… it feels DISGUSTING !!! you did it again but less coughing.

Now you’re on the floor of the living-room smoking as eating the candy’s as you look up to the sky… the stars are beautiful. Thinking about your life, the cases, your work, the moments the two of your shared and ofc.. him. The cigarette slowly loses fire but you inhale it one more time.

As suddenly the lights turn on… the window reflecting a tall figure. oh oh

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OMG HEY I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD DO THIS BUT I HOPE YOU ENJOY… ITS MY FIRST TIME WRITING ANYTHING SO PLEASE BE NICE !!! So I wanted to start easy more a listener view since yk I thought it would be interesting

Maybe you can write about xanthus calming listener down from a panic attack? :)

𝐖𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐖𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐒𝐥𝐞𝐞𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠 ♥ Xanthus

˜”* ❝𝙒𝙝𝙞𝙡𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙨𝙡𝙚𝙚𝙥𝙞𝙣𝙜, 𝙄 𝙛𝙚𝙡𝙡 𝙞𝙣 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚.❞

⎯⎯ ୨ ୧ ⎯⎯

ꜱʏɴᴏᴘꜱɪꜱ: xᴀɴᴛʜᴜꜱ ᴄᴏᴍꜰᴏʀᴛꜱ ʏᴏᴜ.

⎯୨⎯ " " ⎯୧⎯

Everything was so slow, blurry, harsh. You were cold with the only warmth being from your tears. There wasn’t an exact reason you were acting this way, it wasn’t usual. You tried to keep it all in but it just spilled. Breathing was short and painful. It felt like some type of torture. 

Nobody saw you. It was just you, alone. Dontis was busy, Fran was outside, and Xanthus… Oh, Xanthus. He was probably feeling what you felt at this moment. Xanthus was most definitely panicking. 

There wasn’t much to see since your vision was blurry and your ears felt like they’d been muffled but you did hear a frantic tapping.

“Love?”

You looked to your right and saw what would look like Xanthus if your tears weren’t in the way. He’s never seen you like this and you didn’t ever want him to. 

“Xanthus.”

Your body started shaking like you were about to collapse. 

“Hey, hey. It’s okay, love.”

Xanthus rushed to your side and held you. He guided you to bed and tucked you in. You wiped some of your tears, clearing everything up and when you did you saw that pitiful look on Xanthus’ face. You could tell he felt hurt seeing you like this. 

“I’m sor–”

“Don’t apologize, love. Are you okay?”

You looked at his face which was painted with concern. A wave of emotion hit you and your tears began to fall again. Xanthus held you tighter and wiped your tears. He didn’t know what was happening but wanted to help and be there.

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

After finally settling down, you were laying in silence with Xanthus. There wasn’t anything you really wanted to say. Your tears had made you exhausted and Xanthus could see that. 

Xanthus positions himself so he can see you better, “Love?”

“Hm?”

“If you were worried about something, you would tell me, right?”

You didn’t reply. Anything would be wrong. ‘Yes’, No. ‘No’, Yes. 

“Love.”

“It depends.” You answer.

“If you had another one of these, would you tell me?”

Would you? That was the question. The question you truly didn’t have the answer to. 

Xanthus saw the look on your face. He sighed before lying back down. 

“Goodnight, love. I love you,” He said before kissing your forehead. He didn’t expect a reply. You normally don’t say anything after he says ‘I love you’. It didn’t make him upset. He understood. 

You didn’t go to sleep until he fell asleep. And before you did, 

“I love you too, Xanthus.”

But of course, 

Xanthus doesn’t sleep before you.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

i think i went off script.... oopsie. anyway i felt like xanthus should make a comeback since the last time i wrote for him was my first post... ANYWAY i hope u liked reading this as much as i liked writing it

(and i pray that saku isn't lurking at this very moment.)

anyone of the zsakuva community that shifted there ? :)

im not defending myself against a vampire. suck away gorgeous

<3

xanthus x reader

xanthus comforts you!

ANOTHA ONE! and ofc its xanny again what can i sayyy i love my pookie- this was meant to be more wholesome butttt i chopped off an entire part that just didn't flow with everything

alsooo finals season is starting and ill be busy suffering for the next two weeks sooo i may complete one more fic later this week then disappear for a while

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“You're in the wind, I'm in the water Nobody's son, nobody's daughter”

You’re not one to sulk, throughout your life you’ve learnt that pointless worrying will never prove to be an advantage and overthinking weighs you down like a heavy burden. Although sometimes you can’t help but think of home especially now when your life is thrown on the line all over again. The home you once knew and loved isn’t your home anymore. The home you abandoned to pursue a better life. Ironically, that peace was short-lived and danger seems to follow you everywhere you go; it seeps into the cracks of your life, it follows you to every crevice of the earth.

Sometimes you wonder about your parent and if they think of you too. It would be funny to explain the course your life has taken to them. It would be nice to introduce Xanthus to them. Would that be possible? Are they even alive still? Nothing is guaranteed, nothing at all. Maybe someday you could track them down. Someday you could see them again and hug them but would they even remember you? Have they already moved on and forgotten about you?

That’s impossible, right?

Dontis’ home has a spectacular view of the city, his balcony was a perfect to observe the city’s rich culture but that wasn’t your reason for gazing down at the lights and colours that illuminated the streets. You wished to clear your mind, avoid your thoughts of home and your parents but the families that hurried excitedly through the streets together did not help you whatsoever. If anything, it made your current predicament worst.

Teardrops fall onto your hand, the wet stream cooling in the nigh time breeze as it rolls down your cheeks leaving a glistening trail in their wake. Shit, you didn’t mean to cry not when Xanthus can feel what you feel.

“Love, are you out there?” his soothing voice calls from behind you.

Crap it’s too late now.

“Yeah, uh I’m here” your hands quickly drag against your cheeks wiping away any sign of tears before you head inside.

He stood by the glass doors, waiting for you. You don’t say a word. You walk straight to him pressing resting your forehead against. His hands immediately wrap around your body and he placed a kiss on the crown of your head.

“What’s the matter my love?” his voice is so gentle, so patient.

It makes you break down all over again. Your lips quiver, and you squeeze your eyes shut as you sob into him. Xanthus is so sooo patient with you. He stays with you silently rubbing small circles on your back and resting his face against your hair.

You don’t know how long you’ve been standing there with him but it was long enough for you to calm down. Hiccups leaving your throat as you pull back from him.

“’m sorry” you mumble

“You don’t have to be love” he cradles your face in his palms.

“I ruined your shirt” you eye the wet splotch on the front of his shirt but Xanthus only lets out a short chuckled.

“That’s the last thing on my mind right now” he kisses your forehead. “Come on, let’s get you comfortable”

He walks you to the plush sofa and drapes a soft blanket over your shoulders before disappearing into the kitchen. Within seconds he’s back by your side with water and he takes a seat next to you.

“Thank you Xan” you take a sip of your water.

“I promised to take care of you didn’t I? Now, do you want to talk about it?” concern is evident in his voice and his eyes.

“I don’t know, lately I’ve been thinking about my parents and I guess it makes me sad. I think during my time away from them I’ve romanticized a relationship that’s far better the one we actually had.” A deep sigh heaves from your chest “Truth be told, I’m not even sure they’d remember me. It’s been so long and I still somehow miss them and the relationship we could have had if I stayed”

“That’s alright love, it’s understandable” he lays on the sofa pulling you close to him. “Sometimes I feel it too.”

“Really?” you perk up like a puppy, only slowly like a rather sick puppy given how miserable you feel.

“Yeah” he looks down at you “It’s been 400 years but sometimes I think of a fond memory and I long for their presence again too.” The sadness doesn’t get lost in his voice and its clear Xanthus understands exactly how you feel.

“It’s mostly memories of my brother and my mother but it’s enough to make me miss them in my life.” He continued.

“I’m sorry” you weren’t sure how to reply, it felt most natural to let your actions say what your words couldn’t. You close your eyes and hugged him tighter.

“Don’t be, it’s not something we can change.” He smiles. “And we may not have families but we have each other don’t we?”

You look up at him to find his piercing eyes already looking for yours.

“We do.”

You smile at him and he pulls your body onto his chest. His lips fit perfectly against yours slowly savouring the feeling and taste. Your hands grip his shirt and his slips under the thick blanket to hold onto your waist. He pulls away slowly, reluctantly.

“And we’ll always have each other”

“Always” you parrot and he places a kiss on your forehead.

For the rest of the night Xanthus stays cuddled up with you in Dontis’ balcony, sharing fond memories, tracing patterns in the stars and eventually you fall asleep in his arms.

There's a glimmer in his eyes then he speaks again. “I have an idea, come here” he gets up, pulling you to follow him.

Life has definitely taken a turn through another dangerous path, but you aren’t complaining. You don’t bother yourself with such a mediocre thing either, because through every hardship, every conflict, you aren’t alone. Xanthus has been here from the start and there’s no doubt in your mind that he’ll be here until the very end. You can feel it when he holds you close, when he kisses you, and especially when he looks you in the eyes and tells you how much he loves you.

The guarantee of a future is unknown but you’d die and do it all over again if it meant Xanthus was by your side.

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

I love you

𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 𝐈𝐒𝐀𝐀𝐂 𝐒𝐀𝐘𝐒 𝐈𝐍 𝐁𝐄𝐃

“is this okay?”

“does this feel good?”

“i wish you could see the faces you make when i fuck you like this”

“that’s it baby— shit yeah yeah keep moving like that”

“easy now don’t get over zealous pretty thing”

“it’ll fit, don’t be scared”

“you take it so well”

“don’t be shy now, spread though pretty legs for me sweet thing”

“move your hand here…feel that? that’s me”

“so your neck is sensitive huh?”

“you keep marking my neck like that i’ll end up looking like a van gogh painting”

“not yet.”

“that’s right sweet thing keep going— mmm damn it”

“open your mouth.”

“mghm— fuck pretty thing”

“it hurts? your body is telling me otherwise”

“want me to kiss it better?”

“i bet you do”

“on your knees”

“fucking s-shit”

“almost there, right there yes yes”

“give me a kiss sweet thing, you did amazing”

“now you’re all shy?

saku don’t look

.love always <3 pearl

.masterlist