Strictly Business

Isaac asks for a relationship that is entirely professional. You oblige, to both your disappointment.

Isaac Rhoades x Reader

Warnings: talk of insomnia

“I just thought—” you began hesitantly, moving the tray of cinnamon swirls closer to Isaac, prompting him to take a second one. The placating motion did nothing to ease the frown on his face. His hard stare remained fixed on you, annoyed and dismissive. You felt your heart sinking and averted your eyes.

Isaac hummed unbothered as if he couldn’t care less about your request to spend time together — as if he did not care in the slightest to entertain your pathetic longing for human company. “I’m busy, you know,” he said by way of dismissal and pushed the plate of freshly baked cinnamon swirls back towards you.

After a bit of prying, you had found out that his mother used to make them when he felt sad and — with the anniversary of his parent’s death so recent — you wanted to cheer him up and surprise him with his comfort food. Isaac did not appreciate your efforts, evidently.

You tried to take the blunt rejection of both your company and care for him in stride, but you could not suppress the tight clench of your jaw as your heart squeezed painfully in your chest. “If I overstepped the other day in the garden,” you said slowly, raising your gaze to meet Isaac’s and show him the sincerity of your apology, “I didn’t mean to. I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable in any way. I—”

“It’s fine,” he said curtly, rising from his seat at the table and straightening his tie. “Think nothing of it. It was a lapse of judgment on both parts. We can pretend it never happened.”

“But I actually—”

“No,” Isaac interrupted, holding up a hand to silence you, “our relationship is strictly professional and I intend to keep it that way. I’m sorry, but I am in no way interested in anything more. There is nothing between us. Understand?”

Isaac’s stare burned into you and you swallowed thickly, hiding how much his words hurt. “I understand,” you said in a tone so calm and drained of feeling it took Isaac aback.

He blinked in surprise, no longer used to your flat tone and apathetic stare. ‘Sir’ hung unsaid in the air between you. Isaac cleared his throat to break the loaded silence stretching across the house again.

You got up from your seat, brushing down the front of your clothes. “Well, as you said, my services will not be needed on my day off. I will be in the library should you change your mind,” you said tonelessly, leveling Isaac stoically.

There was a glint of worry in his eyes, a chip in his armor you could only spot because you had spent many hours with him, paying close attention to his expressions and mannerisms. Isaac looked unsure. His mouth was slightly agape, but whatever he wanted to say was buried a moment later, hidden behind the thick wall of nonchalance and indifference he put up.

The crack in his mask was sealed, and expressionless eyes met your own.

“Happy reading.”

Isaac thought he knew what loneliness felt like — he had lived in solitude for years now — but no amount spent on his own had prepared him for the heart-wrenching sorrow he felt as you continuously brushed him off, retreating into yourself and being the strict definition of utterly professional.

He felt hollow, watching you set the table with only one plate for him to eat at alone, hearing your monotonous voice ask him if he would prefer rice or pasta, seeing your lips twist in a polite but ingenuous smile as you greeted him in the mornings, handing him his coffee and disappearing to start on your daily chores.

There had been no sweets, nor snacks you would prepare for him and shily requested he give you feedback on. There were no little bursts of light throughout his day as your paths crossed and you shot him a smile or playful wink.

There were no intimate moments between you two where you would look at him with an open, vulnerable expression and rest your head against his chest as you told him about your past. There was no tender, featherlight caress of your fingers on his cheeks as he revealed some of his fears and troubles to you.

You had shut him out, adhering to the boundaries he had impulsively set as his anxieties got the better of him. Now he was left with the consequences of pushing you away.

‘There is nothing between us,’ he had said, but why was his heart breaking every time you looked at him with your cold stare and turned your back a moment later? Why was he lying awake at night, his mind occupied only with thoughts of you as the devouring feeling of loneliness and loss swelled in his chest and choked him? Why was he missing you so terribly that it made tears gather in his eyes when you had your back turned?

It was pathetic, and one night, after you had shot down his concern for the dark circles under your eyes and told him it should be of no matter as long as you performed your duties to his standard, he recognized his sentiment to be a lie.

There was something between you. There had to be because the sinking feeling as you, clearly hurting, turned away once more tore him to shreds. There was no other explanation for it, but Isaac was afraid of what that realization brought with it.

He was afraid that the admission to his all-encompassing love for you would be the very thing that destroyed him. Everyone he loved was gone, and he felt his hands beginning to shake at the thought that you — now among those he adored — would meet the same fate because he was too slow, too weak, too incompetent to protect you.

Still, there was only so much hollowness he could endure, and the loneliness engulfing him was so acute that it had begun hurting to exist in the house. Your brief company somehow made him feel the loneliest of all.

A quiet sound of protest came from one of the corners of the library as Isaac switched off the light. “Sorry,” he apologized tiredly, turning the light back on to look at you, huddled on the small sofa with a blanket around you and a book in your hands. Judging by the cover, it was Frankenstein. “I thought you had already gone to bed and left the light on by mistake. I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

You glanced at the clock on the wall and sighed. It was late. However, something kept you from sleeping for the past few weeks, and no matter how tired you were, it was nearly impossible for you to doze off. At times, when the morning sun was slowly rising over the horizon and the first rays illuminated the dark blue of night, it felt like you were too tired to fall asleep.

“No worries,” you said curtly, resuming your reading, “I will make sure to turn off the light when I go up in a minute. Good night.”

The lie rolled off your tongue as if it were nothing. Isaac did not move from his place in the doorway. You knew he knew that you couldn’t sleep. It was evident in your appearance, your red eyes with dark bags beneath them that looked more like bruises with every passing day. The soft footsteps he could hear pacing around the house at night when you were too restless to sit down. He would be a lousy private investigator if he had not noticed your insomnia coming back in full force.

“I—” he said into the silence, making you look towards him.

“It is rather late,” you answered, trying to discourage Isaac from starting any conversation. In truth, it hurt having him near you when he was seemingly an infinity away, hidden behind some brick wall he had put up to keep the world out — you included.

It was his decision, and after the kiss, or as he called it, a ‘lapse of judgment,’ you did not think it right to push his boundaries after he had so clearly told you and shown you with his actions, that he wanted nothing but a professional relationship with you. It made your heart crack, but you were adamant to give him only what he asked for, only as much as he wanted from you. It made the situation somewhat bearable to know it was what he wanted.

Isaac cleared his throat, stepping further into the room. “I know, but I— It’s just that you—” he stuttered, suddenly nervous at confronting you. “You haven’t been—”

“Well, I certainly am tired,” you said, marking the book to set it on the small table beside the couch and rising from your comfortable cocoon to fold the blanket neatly and place it over the back of the couch.

“Wait, I—”

“Good night then, boss.” You brushed past him and kept walking towards the door, but a hand on your wrist stopped you. “Don’t forget to turn off the light,” you said, fighting against the urge to lean into Isaac’s light touch. It wasn’t professional. That was not what he wanted. There was nothing between you.

“Don’t call me that, Pickle,” he said quietly, his thumb tracing small circles against your wrist. “I haven’t been— Our relationship has not been strictly business for a while now. It never was to begin with.”

“I thought that was what you wanted out of me,” you answered, unable to keep your voice from breaking as Isaac raised your hand to his lips, softly kissing the back of your hand. “You said—”

“I was wrong,” he said quickly, his eyes so earnest that you could not help but believe him, “I was scared that I would get too close to you after the kiss and then you would— you would leave me and— I don’t think I can go through that again, losing a person I love.”

At Isaac‘s words, something within you broke.

Tears began welling up in your eyes and you stepped closer to wrap your arms around him in a tight embrace, which he returned immediately. It felt so good to have him close to you again, his fingers running soothingly along your back as you could feel his elevated heartbeat pounding in his chest.

“You love me?”

Isaac swallowed, squeezing you tighter and pulling you even closer to him as he steeled himself. “I do,” he said shakily, but the truth of his words was evident in the underlying confidence with which he delivered them, “and I’m sorry I made you doubt that. I’m sorry I pushed you away and dismissed our relationship as a mere work association when it has always been more than that. I— I was scared and I didn’t know what to do after you— after what you did for me and—“

You leaned back enough to meet his gaze. “Can I kiss you?” you asked, longing to do it properly this time, wanting to erase the bitter taste of rejection that had accompanied the feeling of Isaac’s lips on yours.

“Please,” he whispered, inclining his head as you moved to meet his lips.

Suffice it to say, with Isaac lying next to you in his soft double bed — him pulling you close and whispering sweet nothings into the darkness of night as your head rested on his chest and his arms were securely wrapped around you — you fell asleep almost immediately.

Isaac smiled, placing a kiss against the top of your head as he listened to your breathing even out.

𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐛𝐞𝐝𝐫𝐨𝐨𝐦 - 𝐱𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐡𝐮𝐬 𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐛𝐨𝐫𝐧𝐞 (𝐍𝐒𝐅𝐖) ✧

@birdyyyyyy: Alr Okay So My Idea Is … I’ve Checked You Don’t Mind Writing Nsfw…HEHEHE

༺—————————☆——————————༻

[ᴘʀᴏᴍᴘᴛ] xᴀɴᴛʜᴜꜱ ᴀɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇ ʜᴏᴍᴇ ᴀʟᴏɴᴇ, ᴀɴᴅ xᴀɴᴛʜᴜꜱ ᴛᴀᴋᴇꜱ ᴀᴅᴠᴀɴᴛᴀɢᴇ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴀᴛ.

a/n: hi guys omg ive had writers block for SO LONG and haven’t had any ideas so sorry i went on break for so long :(( but i’m back now ! (proceeds to come back with smut LMAOAO). ive based this on xanthus recent audio where dontis leaves to see his partner if thats okay!! you can just skip the first bit if you want as its just me quoting the start of the audio LOL. gender neutral reader :) also sorry if this is so cringe this is my like FIRST EVER smut so i apologise LOL

c/w: NSFW CONTENT AHEAD! not full smut but like pre smut LOL

༺—————————☆——————————༻

"How long are you going to be?"

"Not long, why are you worried about me?" Dontis teases with a smirk.

Xanthus scoffs, "No, you know the city so I'm sure you've mapped out the little hidey holes."

Dontis nods, "Yes I have. I'll let you know when I'm on the way back." He says as he grabs his bag.

You're sitting on the couch watching all of this unfold, Xanthus standing by the doorway as Dontis gathers his things. Fran had left a while ago to explore New Orleans, and Dontis is now leaving for a while, which means it would be just you two in the house.

Xanthus folds his arms.

"Hm. Be careful." Xanthus warns.

"When am I not?" Dontis says with a smile.

"If I listed them all now you'd be late for your appointment, and you seem...eager to leave." Xanthus questions.

Dontis chuckles. "Not to leave you but to see them, I have my own bonds to tend to."

"Hm, have fun then."

"You too~" Dontis says as he opens the door, turning back to you for a moment.

"Look after him okay?" Dontis jokes to you. You laugh gently.

"I will, don't worry." You joke back as Xanthus rolls his eyes sarcastically, smiling a little.

Dontis gives you one last smile before making his way out the door. Xanthus sighs as he makes his way over to you.

"Where has he gone too?" You ask.

"He's gone to see his hunter friend, and I doubt he's coming back soon." Xanthus says as he sits next to you on the couch.

"How come?"

"Because they think it will be the last time they see each other, and honestly I don't blame him for thinking that way." Xanthus sighs as he lets his head rest against the couch. "We're doing something that no one else has been foolish enough to do, well they have but were defeated without a soul to spread it. That means we're either brave or idiotic, or both." Xanthus shrugs.

"Well we'll have to see soon won't we?" You reply.

"Mhm, no matter what we are it'll all come to light soon. And in the mean time.." Xanthus shifts closer to you. "I'd like to tend to my bond, as Dontis puts it." He says as he strokes your face.

"Feeling a bit bold today are we?" You tease with a laugh.

Xanthus chuckles back, kissing your forehead. "Well, it has been a while since we've had some private time, especially with you doing so much research all the while. Ah, speaking of...how are you feeling, love?" Xanthus asks you.

You perk up about your feelings as Xanthus listens intently. After a while the conversation then turns into just talking about whatever, just appreciating each other's presence for a while.

ɴꜱꜰᴡ ꜱᴛᴀʀᴛꜱ ʜᴇʀᴇ <3

However, you can't fail to notice how Xanthus was acting a bit...different. The constant shifting around, moving closer to you, the way his eyes lingered on your neck, looking at you like you were some sort of prey, and his tone just felt different. You shook it off, thinking it was just because it was the two of you in the house and he could let his guard down for a while. But when your eyes met the bulge between his legs, you knew exactly what he wanted from you. Your eyes went wide and you cut off what you were saying, starting to stutter.

You two had never done anything so...lewd. It never crossed your mind at all, only exchanging kisses and hugs. The only semi lewd thing you've done is when Xanthus was feeding on you, and his hand trailed a bit too much on your chest, touching places you didn't know were sensitive until then. But that was it, never going any further. So to see him be so needy in front of you now was...well quite arousing if you were being honest. The way his eyes lingered on you with that wanting expression made your body go warm.

You two stared at each other for a couple of seconds, before Xanthus sensed your want, looking at your lips. He moved closer to you and whispered.

"May I?"

You just nodded. He held your face gently and kissed you passionately, the kiss turning more needy as it carried on. Exchanging kisses, he put his hand behind your head and pushed you down gently, landing with a slight whine as he licks your bottom lip, asking for entrance as he strokes your face with one hand as he uses his other to support himself on top of you. You allow him in, his tongue battling with yours lovingly as he admires the noises you make. Sloppy kisses shared back and fourth, his hand trailing down your chest and perking at your nipples, gently trailing his hand over them, making you gasp into his mouth slightly. He smirked at this as he gets a reaction from you. He slowly starts to slip his hand under your shirt, toying with your nipples even more. The sudden contact made you break off the kiss and throw your head back, letting out a slight moan.

"God- Xanthus I- ah~" You cry out, putting your hands around his back. Xanthus takes this opportunity to latch his mouth on to your neck, not biting but making a different type of mark. Because of him feeding from you so often, he already knows all your weak spots on your neck, so he takes advantage of that, still toying with your perky nipples gently. Still crying out in pleasure, he pulls off your neck and holds your face, bringing his mouth to your ear and whispering.

"I'll make you forget for a while."

༺—————————☆——————————༻

hi guys im so sorry ive been gone for so long but ive had MAJOR writers block and autistic burnout for ages and havent had any ideas so im sorry for leaving without warning but i think im getting back in the swing of things now! this post is probably really random but i needed to get SOMETHING out. ill start working back into my routines and getting back into my posting as i went through a phase where i was posting EVERY SECOND for about 2 days LOL so ill try and post more now if i can :)

thank you for reading love u all <3

-Jasper

༺—————————☆——————————༻

32 notes View Post

birdyyyyyy

1 year ago

@birdyyyyyy: Alr okay so my idea is … I’ve checked you don’t mind writing nsfw…HEHEHE

𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐛𝐞𝐝𝐫𝐨𝐨𝐦 - 𝐱𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐡𝐮𝐬 𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐛𝐨𝐫𝐧𝐞 (𝐍𝐒𝐅𝐖) ✧

༺—————————☆——————————༻

[ᴘʀᴏᴍᴘᴛ] xᴀɴᴛʜᴜꜱ ᴀɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇ ʜᴏᴍᴇ ᴀʟᴏɴᴇ, ᴀɴᴅ xᴀɴᴛʜᴜꜱ ᴛᴀᴋᴇꜱ ᴀᴅᴠᴀɴᴛᴀɢᴇ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴀᴛ.

c/w: NSFW CONTENT AHEAD! not full smut but like pre smut LOL

༺—————————☆——————————༻

"How long are you going to be?"

"Not long, why are you worried about me?" Dontis teases with a smirk.

Xanthus scoffs, "No, you know the city so I'm sure you've mapped out the little hidey holes."

Dontis nods, "Yes I have. I'll let you know when I'm on the way back." He says as he grabs his bag.

Xanthus folds his arms.

"Hm. Be careful." Xanthus warns.

"When am I not?" Dontis says with a smile.

"If I listed them all now you'd be late for your appointment, and you seem...eager to leave." Xanthus questions.

Dontis chuckles. "Not to leave you but to see them, I have my own bonds to tend to."

"Hm, have fun then."

"You too~" Dontis says as he opens the door, turning back to you for a moment.

"Look after him okay?" Dontis jokes to you. You laugh gently.

"I will, don't worry." You joke back as Xanthus rolls his eyes sarcastically, smiling a little.

Dontis gives you one last smile before making his way out the door. Xanthus sighs as he makes his way over to you.

"Where has he gone too?" You ask.

"He's gone to see his hunter friend, and I doubt he's coming back soon." Xanthus says as he sits next to you on the couch.

"How come?"

"Well we'll have to see soon won't we?" You reply.

"Mhm, no matter what we are it'll all come to light soon. And in the mean time.." Xanthus shifts closer to you. "I'd like to tend to my bond, as Dontis puts it." He says as he strokes your face.

"Feeling a bit bold today are we?" You tease with a laugh.

You perk up about your feelings as Xanthus listens intently. After a while the conversation then turns into just talking about whatever, just appreciating each other's presence for a while.

ɴꜱꜰᴡ ꜱᴛᴀʀᴛꜱ ʜᴇʀᴇ <3

You two stared at each other for a couple of seconds, before Xanthus sensed your want, looking at your lips. He moved closer to you and whispered.

"May I?"

"I'll make you forget for a while."

༺—————————☆——————————༻

thank you for reading love u all <3

-Jasper

༺—————————☆——————————༻

32 notes View Post

birdyyyyyy

1 year ago

WHATTT THE LAST WAS CARZY ??? WE NOW NEED SOME SWWET THINGS !!! Just Isaac being sweet and gentle. Isaac once wanted to train the listener swimming since they can’t swim and he kept his promise. But …. the listener being insecure about there body and embarrassed as they get into the pool. It would be nice if you could make it gender neutral !!!

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐫 ♥ 𝘐𝘴𝘢𝘢𝘤

˜”* ❝𝙆𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙄 𝙨𝙖𝙞𝙙 𝙣𝙤 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙗𝙪𝙩 𝙄 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙩𝙤.❞

⎯⎯ ୨ ୧ ⎯⎯

ꜱʏɴᴏᴘꜱɪꜱ: ɪꜱᴀᴀᴄ ᴄᴏᴍꜰᴏʀᴛꜱ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡʜɪʟᴇ ᴛᴇᴀᴄʜɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛᴏ ꜱᴡɪᴍ.

⎯୨⎯ " " ⎯୧⎯

It was the middle of the day and you hadn’t seen Isaac. You thought he’d be somewhere near his study so you didn’t bother him just in case. However, you weren’t afraid to check up on him so you tried knocking on the door to the study.

Knock, knock, knock.

Nothing.

You were about to go for another round of knocks until you felt a tap on your shoulder.

“Isaac? Why aren’t you working right now?”

“We’re both off today, remember?”

You forgot about last night when Isaac so randomly and so abruptly announced that both of you didn’t have work the next day. In your defense, it was out of nowhere, but still, you felt bad for forgetting.

“I forgot, sorry.”

“It’s fine, as long as you weren’t already working too hard. Anyway, I need you to come with me.”

“Why? Did I do something wrong?” You worried a little.

“No! I have a surprise for you!”

As you held his hand with your eyes closed (because he told you to), you felt more and more curious. It wasn’t every day that Isaac had a surprise for you. Especially something he’s this excited about.

“Alright… open.”

You opened your eyes to see swimwear laid out on your bed.

“Isaac, I told you I can’t swim.”

“I know, that’s why I’m teaching you!”

It was cute to hear him sound all cute and excited but you weren’t too sure about this. Nonetheless, you agreed to put it on and meet him at the pool.

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

You looked at yourself wearing the swimsuit and couldn’t help but feel self-cautious. You tried to see if you could cover up a little bit but spoiler alert, that didn’t work.

Well, Isaac wouldn’t judge you for your body, right? I mean, it just doesn’t seem like him. But also, it wasn’t just about how he felt, it was also about how you felt.

You racked up the courage to finally meet Isaac at the pool and get greeted by a splash from him.

“I didn’t even get in yet!”

He smiled and swam to the edge to help you get in. As he reached his hand out for you to get in, you found yourself hesitating, like a lot. Normally, when it came to him, you didn’t hesitate. Ever.

His smile turned into a confused frown before he spoke up.

“Are you alright? If it’s the water that’s bothering you, my hand is here to guide you.”

“No, it’s fine…”

You tried to force yourself into the water but it didn’t work. You couldn’t stop feeling insecure and just gross. You knew you weren’t but at the same time, did you know?

“Something’s wrong. Y/N, tell me.”

You didn’t wanna tell him but you knew you wouldn’t get in the pool if you didn’t.

“Just um… getting into the water like this, it’s kind of embarrassing.”

He didn’t get it.

“Huh? How so?”

“Isaac, look at me. Wait no, don’t.”

“I’ve been looking at you this whole time and I’m not seeing anything wrong…?”

“I look stupid.”

Oh. Now he got it. Just those 3 words could make anyone get it.

“Hey, no you don’t. You don’t look stupid at all. Here, tell me what’s going on.” He raises himself out of the pool and sits next to you on the edge.

“My body doesn’t look weird to you…? I just feel weird with you seeing me like this when I look like-”

“Beautiful. That’s what you look like. And nothing less.”

He places his wet hand on top of yours.

“You don’t look stupid or weird or anything your head is telling you. You’re beautiful and your body is beautiful. Alright?”

You look at him and smile, “Alright.”

You were about to kiss him but before you could, he pulled you into the water.

“Hey! What the hell!”

“Just hold on to me!”

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

a/n: ah first requestttt!!! I AGREE THE LAST ONE WAS INSANEEEE LIKE???? but thank u for requesting and i hope this met your expectations (fingers crossed yall)

31 notes View Post

birdyyyyyy

1 year ago

I was watching your stream yesterday, and you mentioned Isaac speaks Japanese.

It made me kinda curious, since, if his mother passed so early on (around 12 if I remember correctly), and his grandfather was from his father’s side, how did he manage to upkeep it for so long? Did he have friends in college who spoke it, or maybe some distant relatives?

Even if, I can’t imagine how difficult it must be for someone who hasn’t had a consistent conversation partner for 17 years to speak 3 languages fluently, (counting Spanish).

I grew up having to juggle three languages at home, and I still find it really difficult to speak and express myself in all of them properly, despite having family and friends I can talk to everyday. A part of me wants to think he tried consuming Japanese media to keep a part of his mother alive, but that’s probably me just overly romanticizing reality haha~.

I’ve been following Isaac’s series since the beginning, and while it’s sad to see him go, I really enjoyed the ride:)) Thank you for your hard work! All of your characters are super well written and the level of detail, down to the accuracy of the geographical locations (which still blows my mind), and the small links between each of the series is actually insane. I’d kill to meet any of your oc’s irl (except for Alex *cough*). So yeah, thank you:)

(also, please ignore the grammar/spelling, this was one stream of consciousness rip)

I'd assume that, due to how fond he was of his mother and the memories they made together, he'd actively attempt to keep it close. Universities are very diverse, so I can imagine him making Japanese friends, or those who spoke the language.

I'd also think that his job and the clientele he interacts with would be from all over, including Japan, so he'd need to be adept enough in the language to read, write, and speak it. Within his library, I'd expect there to be Japanese books among them too!

In my eyes, he wouldn't forgive himself if he lost that skill because he would view it as losing a part of his mother, something he desperately strives to save.

Thank you so much for the support! (And don't worry about the writing haha)

45 notes View Post

birdyyyyyy

1 year ago

Someone draw isaac like this please

63 notes View Post

birdyyyyyy

1 year ago

Not ZSakuVA pulling me into this fandom by the fucking hair with the Zaros audio. I wrote a fanfic, 6k words, it's lil angsty. based off of @why-me-marti lil post about a ball and Zaros asking listener to dance again. I am DESPERATE!! for Zaros content. and since he's so new i figured no one will really do a fic with him. honoured to be the first <3

archiveofourown.org

My Words Are Poisonous - InTheEndThereIsOnlyDeath - Zsakuva [Archive of Our Own]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

63 notes View Post

birdyyyyyy

1 year ago

I’m sorry to say it but Xanthus fans are starving … and with the situation there in … pls I’ve been waiting for 5 months

4 notes View Post

birdyyyyyy

1 year ago

IS IT JUST ME OR IS ZSAKUVA AVOIDING XANTHUS AUDIO ??? ITS BEEN 7 AUDIOS CLOSE TOO 4 MONTHS ??? BRO I NEED HIM LIKE TOO KNOW IF HE DIES OR NOT ???

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

i think i went off script.... oopsie. anyway i felt like xanthus should make a comeback since the last time i wrote for him was my first post... ANYWAY i hope u liked reading this as much as i liked writing it

(and i pray that saku isn't lurking at this very moment.)

Maybe You Can Write About Xanthus Calming Listener Down From A Panic Attack? :)

36 notes View Post

birdyyyyyy

1 year ago

𝐈 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐊 ♥ 𝘐𝘴𝘢𝘢𝘤

˜”* ❝𝙄 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙠 𝙄'𝙢 𝙛𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙞𝙣 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚.❞

⎯⎯ ୨ ୧ ⎯⎯

ꜱʏɴᴏᴘꜱɪꜱ: ʏᴏᴜ ᴀɴᴅ ɪꜱᴀᴀᴄ ꜰɪɴᴀʟʟʏ ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ɪᴛ ᴏꜰꜰɪᴄɪᴀʟ (ᴘᴀʀᴛ 2 ᴏꜰ ʙᴀʙʏᴅᴏʟʟ)

⎯୨⎯ " " ⎯୧⎯

It was the afternoon and also the day after… last night. You hadn’t talked to Isaac at all since last night and it wasn’t intentional on your part. If anything, he was the one avoiding you. It felt weird but you knew why. You always wanted to be closer to Isaac but the events of last night… You two were way more than ‘close’.

Isaac acted like nothing ever happened. All of the things you guys did and the things you said were kind of discarded. It hurt. Maybe he only said those things and did those things because in that moment, that one moment, he actually thought you looked good.

These thoughts taunted you like crazy. You didn’t have Isaac there to tell you that you weren’t overthinking things. You were just left in your own thoughts.

The two of you passed every few hours and he wouldn’t make eye contact. It was like he got scared of you or something. It was enough to make you finally do something about it.

“Isaac.”

“Hm?”

“Don’t go back to your study yet.”

“Y/N? I have work.”

“I know but if we don’t talk now, I’m not talking later.”

He looked at your hand gripping onto his wrist. He knew you were stubborn but this was definitely new.

You led him to sit down with you before getting comfortable. To your suspicion, he scooted away from you, sitting further than he normally does.

“Okay, what’s going on with you? Like, why are you so awkward today?”

He looked at you trying to put a confused look on his face but he’s not that good at playing dumb.

“What are you saying? I’ve just been busy.”

“Being busy hasn’t stopped you before. So, tell me. What is it?”

He looked at you and sighed in defeat. He seemed… nervous.

“I didn’t think I’d tell you but I should’ve known you wouldn’t let me ignore you the whole day. Listen, last night was a lot for me.”

“I’m sor-”

“Don’t apologize. I enjoyed it. A lot. You’re really important to me and being able to show you was great. The problem is, I could never bear the thought of losing you. No matter how or when. Before I fell asleep, I was thinking about it.”

“What are you saying?”

“What I’m about to say…I know it’s sudden but for me, it isn’t. I… love you. I love you, Y/N. I didn’t want to. Loving someone could be dangerous. No, it is dangerous. But, I could never stop myself from loving you.”

“You love me? I didn’t know. I always figured it was just me.

“What?”

You give him a smile and inch closer to him.

“I love you too. I didn’t think I’d be able to tell you.”

He moved closer to you and pulled you into a hug. You felt safe in his arms, the safest you’ve ever been.

“So…” You start, “What does this mean now? Like, what’re we gonna do?”

“What do you want to do?”

“Be with you.” You mumble out.

“Hm? What’d you say? You wanna be with me?”

“Maybe.”

He leaned down and kissed your lips. It felt good to be like this with him again. Him being so physical with you.

“Then it’s official. We’re together.”