Duke: You Shouldn't Be Using A Straw.

Dick: When you said 'Magic in Bed', I wasn't expecting this...

Wally: *pulls out card from deck* Now, was this your card?

Dick: Holy moly-

Dick: I can't believe you've done this.....

Wally: I'm sorry I didn't know-!

Dick, on the verge of tears: YOU CAN'T JUST BUY ME A GIFT OUT OF NOWHERE NOW I FEEL LIKE A HUGE ASSHOLE!

Duke: Hey, you want some leftovers?

Tiffany: What's that?

Duke: You've never had leftovers???

Tiffany: No, because I'm not a quitter.

Tim: What do you think Jason will do for a distraction?

Duke: They’ll probably, like, make a noise or throw a rock. That’s what I would do.

*Building explodes and several car alarms go off*

Duke: ... or they could do that.

Dick: Remember when you didn't try to solve all your problems with attempted murder?

Jason: Stop romanticizing the past.

Bruce: How was your day, Damian?

Damian: Yeah, fine, it's anti-bullying week at school.

Bruce: Oh? And what does that mean?

Damian: It means I can't bully anyone for a whole week.

Wally: You use humor to deflect your trauma.

Dick: Awww, thanks-

Wally: That’s not a good thing.

Dick: All I’m hearing is that you think I’m funny.

Dick: Is letting someone win at chess sapiosexual bottoming

Barbara: Does anyone in this godforsaken group ever think before they speak

______________

Damian: I'm a reverse necromancer.

Carrie: Isn't that just killing people?

Damian: Ah, don’t sweat the details .

______________

Jason: Okay. I get it. You've had a really hard time lately, you're stressed out, seven people died-

Dick: Twelve, actually.

Jason: Not the point. Look, they're dead now and really whose fault is that?

Dick: Yours!

Jason: That's right: no one's.

_______________

Damian: Don’t worry, I have a few knives up my sleeve.

Steph: I think you mean cards.

Damian, pulling knives out of their sleeves: No, I do not.

________________

Store Worker: Would a Mr. Bruce Wayne please come to the front desk?

Bruce, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem?

Store Worker: points to the batkids

Store Worker: I believe they belong to you?

Dick, simultaneously: We got lost :(

Bruce: I didn’t even bring you guys here with me-

__________________

Barbara: I can’t believe you live nearby, and you won’t let anyone crash at your place.

Luke: You people already know too much about me.

Tiffany: I know exactly three facts about you, and one of them is that you won’t let any of us crash at your place.

______________________

Tim: I’m kind of crushing on someone, but I’m worried about telling you who it is, because you’re not going to like it

Cullen: Just rip the bandage off.

Tim: It’s Kon.

Cullen: Put the bandage back on.

Dick: I can't believe you've done this.....

Wally: I'm sorry I didn't know-!

Dick, on the verge of tears: YOU CAN'T JUST BUY ME A GIFT OUT OF NOWHERE NOW I FEEL LIKE A HUGE ASSHOLE!

Kon: Smart is attractive. Educate me on something I don't know!

Tim: The mouth of a jellyfish is also an anus.

Kon: Stop.