Dark: *gets Set On Fire And Screams In Agony*

Chosen: You need to stop swearing so much.

Dark: Shut the fuck up.

Chosen: Yeah, that's not how you do it.

Dark: Alright sorry. It's just that it's hard not to swear. The words just creep up on me when I least expect it.

Chosen: Now now, don't be like that. Just replace the swear words with 'beep' and you'll be fine.

Dark: Shit the beep up.

Chosen:

Dark: SHUT, DAMMIT! I MEANT SHUT!

Yellow starved to death

Dark: I prevented a murder today.

Second: Really? That’s amazing! How did you do that?

Dark: Self-control.

Kidnapper: I have your partner.

Chosen: What? I don't have a partner...

Kidnapper: Then who just called me a lowlife bitch and spit in my face?

Chosen: Oh my god, you have Dark.

Dark: I am working on this whole Good Guy thing, but anyone who cuts me in line at Starbucks deserves to have their kneecaps shot out, okay?

Chosen: *gets a text* Oh! It’s Dark.

Second, excitedly: Did they get me the stuff?

Chosen: Yeah, they say they got you the clown costume, the power drill, and 12 gallons of blood.

Second: Wow! Where’d they find 12 gallons of fake blood?

Chosen: Wait, you wanted fake blood?

Second:

Chosen: I’ll go call Dark.

Dark: I scare people a lot because I walk very softly and they don't hear me enter rooms. So when they turn around, I'm just kind of there and their fear fuels me.

Blue: Last night I found out Yellow is a sleep talker.

Second: Oh, really?

Blue: "The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell." Right. In. My. Ear. At 3am.

Red: So, Purple, do you have a crush on anyone?

Purple: The only crush I have is this crushing anxiety.

Blue: A bicycle is the acoustic version of a motorcycle.

Yellow: What drugs are you on right now?

Blue: Yes.