Headcannon Time: There Are Several Scenes In Games Where Lu Is Shown Sleeping So I’ve Decided That

Diary entry #26

TW- ed (my blog is not going to become an ed blog so like if you’re triggered by that sort of stuff I will not talk about it a lot and I will label it every time), family stuff, sui

It feels like I’m in an endless cycle of suffering in a lot of different ways, just stacking on top of each other and melting together. I’m back on my ed bullshit unfortunately, triggered by me stopping my depression/sleep meds that made me binge all the time for like 5 fucking years among other things. I’m always stopped before I can hurt myself too terribly, but I don’t want to be stopped this time. 

My grandma always thinks I’m starving myself for attention or whatever, but it’s like a drive in me or something. I always need to destroy myself somehow, and this is one way I can do so. I think she thinks I’m an attention whore, which in some ways I might be, but starving myself for attention would be even more miserable than me doing it to lose weight/hurt myself. I hate having an ed so much. It gives me a bit of control over my life, but I am so cold and so tired all the time. I think my grandparents do not think of me highly at all, and I’m hurt by that quite a lot. 

At this point, if my grandparents try to stop me, maybe I’ll tell them the truth. I have no control over my life, I’m just a hamster on a wheel. I want my body to be androgynous, because that’s the best I can get right now without control over what I’m wearing and my haircut, and also lack of T. I could technically wear what I want, but last time I tried that my grandma called me the D slur. I know trying to look more like how I want is a fool’s errand, and I mostly just want to destroy myself. 

Sometimes I really think that I should die. That everyone would be better off without me. But there’s a couple major things that are affecting that thought. I have stopped caring if people hate me as much; if they hate me, I can’t control it. In fact, their spite kind of keeps me alive. If I die looking like a girl… I don’t even know. I want to die as a man. And also, I’m probably too much of a pussy to actually kms. 

Sorry I bitch a lot on here, I have no one to talk to.

A dumb idea that I had while at work that is now real thanks to me drawing it: the alphabet mafia!! I think the term alphabet mafia is way too funny for conservatives to use, I kind of like it even if it's supposed to be bad lol

I tried to be creative with the designs but they kinda suck, also fun fact the bisexual person is nonbinary because I wanted to include a nonbinary person as well :)

[ID: a digital drawing with a rainbow pride flag background of the alphabet mafia, a group of queer people who have weapons and color schemes associated with their pride flags /END ID]

8 page zine about suicide, transness, and praxis

“Don’t become a statistic”? At all costs, don’t let transgenders die

Here’s some transgenders you can support if you liked this zine

Venmo: tomi-nabach

Ko-fi: remspeedwagon

And if you like me

Venmo: fubblers

If they talk about Trump in a positive light one more goddamn time I am going to kill myself :) /hj

They still think that I'm on the Trump Train (what my grandpa calls it,,, *vomits*)

[ID: a crudely drawn person giving a thumbs up while crying. The caption says "Me trying not to scream but instead half-heartedly agree when my grandparents say shitty things /END ID]

TYSM!!

A dumb idea that I had while at work that is now real thanks to me drawing it: the alphabet mafia!! I think the term alphabet mafia is way too funny for conservatives to use, I kind of like it even if it's supposed to be bad lol

I tried to be creative with the designs but they kinda suck, also fun fact the bisexual person is nonbinary because I wanted to include a nonbinary person as well :)

[ID: a digital drawing with a rainbow pride flag background of the alphabet mafia, a group of queer people who have weapons and color schemes associated with their pride flags /END ID]

Tysm!!

Hey there! I’m here from the whole reddit disaster.

Lemme introduce myself: my name is August, I’m trans and go by he/him/it, I’m autistic, and I’m very cool

DNI- proshippers, queerphobic people, trolls, etc.

Please follow- Pizza Tower fans, FNAF fans, queer folks, uhhh idk if you like my reddit stuff (u/augustoof) follow me!

I will talk about trans stuff and my special interests mostly. Thanks for reading, have a nice day!

a peppino to make me (and you) feel better

Tw- transphobia

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Talking to a therapist lady and my grandma goes “”she”” wants to transgender. SHE WANTS TO TRANSGENDER. Fucking hilarious but not so funny when you realize she doesn’t support me at all. She thinks it’s some sort of trend or choice? Or something? I don’t really know. I mean I kinda get it sorta because I change my mind very quickly on things but transitioning isn’t, like, a super fast process… you don’t have to jump to T right away, it can start slow! Also I’ve known I was trans for about two years now. But this means I *might* be able to change her mind… idk though. All I want is to feel comfortable in my own skin but I suppose that’s too much to ask. Also the therapist lady asked if I was influenced by anything… bruh. I’ve known for two years at this point, if this was a hyperfixation it would’ve been gone by now. Sorry that I prefer to be called “he” I guess. Now I’m doubting myself, but maybe that was the point. I don’t know what else to add, so post over I guess.

on wikipedia straight up "learning it". and by "learning it" i mean, lets just say.. information