8 Page Zine About Suicide, Transness, And Praxis

QUEER LIBERATION MAAAAAARCH 🏳️‍🌈✊️

ipad kid raichu my beloved

me: you literally have a disorder. this is symptoms

me: no perhaps my soul is rotten

This post made me feel a lot of emotions. Thank you anon, sm.

I am a trans man and I have lots in common with cis men.

I am a Jewish man, and my “ethnic” white features are the ones that trans men meet with fear and revulsion: hairiness, balding, shortness, and carrying weight in my hips and ass. I look like my father, my grandfather, and my brother. I will not apologize for that.

I am a queer man, and I love and defend my queerness. I get de-gendered and they/themmed because I am expressive, I am dynamic, and I am loud. I love drag, I love to queen out, I love gay mens’ history and culture. I love leather, I love kink, and I love seeing other people like me in those spaces. I love to feel, see, hear, touch and connect with other men— cis and trans.

I am a disabled man. I have that in common with cis men too. Men who are afraid they are not manly enough because they are not physically strong, because they cannot endure hard labor, or work out or play sports. Men who are “weak” for being mentally ill, or autistic, or expressing their emotions at inappropriate times. Autistic men who have “childish” interests and are terrified of being mocked for them, or who can only enjoy what they love “ironically”.

I am on HRT. I have that in common with hundreds of men who have naturally lower testosterone, and older men. I wear a binder, which is something I have in common with men with gynecomastia.

The longer I transition, the more the constellation of traits that make me “clockable” or “non passing” as trans shifts, and takes on new meaning. Yes, I have wide hips, a big ass, I am short, I am queer, I am mentally ill. No, I am not like “the average” man. But I see myself reflected in new places all the time.

I am a person who wields the privileges of whiteness and male gender. I am constantly learning how to be humble, how to let others speak, and how to be in mutuality and support instead of “protective”. I see this same struggle in other men in activism, who have been assumed to be leaders, but now need to learn to follow, and learn to listen.

I am a man, straightforwardly. Other men are my brothers, and I love them. Women are my sisters, and I care for them and want them to walk freely in the world. No person is not my kin, and I want them to be liberated. All our fights are entwined.

Thanks for making the space to share this.

An absolutely beautiful message, thank you.

She absolutely has autism, she’s so me fr

transmasc song

Diary entry #12

Cw - negative mental health talk and politics sorta again

I need to move to Illinois I need to move to Illinois I need to mov

I'm trying to tell my grandparents I want to go to college in Illinois but I still don't know if they'll like let me y'know? They seemed kind of lukewarm to it. I'm an adult and should be able to make my own decisions but I'm terrified of them. I don't know why, even. The worst they do is scream.

They still think I'm "on the Trump train" as my grandpa puts it. Of course I'm not a fucking fan of Trump, he's a risk to everything I love!!!

I found a community college in Illinois I want to go to; hopefully they'll let me or else I'm screwed. I don't know if Missouri will ban HRT for adults, but I have a feeling they will.

My mental health hasn't been stable recently. I keep on being nice to my grandparents and I don't know why, they can't even gender me right and they think that I'm basically a joke. Just thinking about how they've denied me care fucking infuriates me but I can't help but to be nice to them!! They're nice to me in every other way, it's just this "boy thing" (their words, not mine) that they despise me for.

I'm lucky, and should be grateful but I'm not. They could've killed me or kicked me out or something for being queer. I'm filled with so much rage but have nothing to take it out on besides myself.

I'm happy to be alive most times, but I don't want to be alive as someone I'm not. I had hope, I still kind of do, but it's going to be a rough 4 years. I don't know how I'm going to explain to them that this lack of T is going to kill me, I don't think I can.

Family: Why dont you go to chick-fil-a???? You don't like their food???

Me:

be free!!

when you get into a new hyperfixation but there's NO fandom<<<<<<<<<<