I Hate Tremor, Just... Why Does My Hand Shaking Without A Reason For Month? Plus People Start To Think

I love the fact that with this thing I could cut myself at school and nobody will care!!♡♡

♡♡♡

Years will pass and I will never understand, why, just why, there's only 2 sides when it comes to my illness? Some of you immediately start to pity and pamper me, treat me as if I barely understand something, while the other consists of people who are almost the same as the 1st type, but these are trying to do it differently, trying to look caring and understandable, but in the end they are almost the same. And also, since when the phrase "I'm not letting my illness stop me." Became something ablestic? No, I don't want to treat myself as a snowflake. I don't want to do something less, because YOU think that I'll have a flare up. Flare ups are only MY and MINE DEAL, NOT YOURS. I don't want to sit and whine about how fragile my body is. This only makes me look WEAK. Since when I need to work less, just because I'm ill? Maybe I WANT to work?? Maybe I CAN work?? Maybe, it is YOU the one who sees only code in my med card?!

Sometimes it amuses me how if epileptic will have 6 seizures in one day, they will be hospitalised immediately and given treatment, while with dyskensias they just... Give the "Well, damn, but you're conscious during seizures." Yeah, I am, but why the fuck I had 6 in a row?? Sometimes, I think that tearing my ligament wouldn't be as hard as getting treatment, lol.

I'm glad that my classmates don't use Tumblr and using VK, because if they were there everyone would know about my problems

I understand everything. But y'know what? I'm still able-bodied despite being chronically ill. Yeah, I have some diseases and yeah sometimes they affect me. BUT. I'm not like this for the whole time. I'M NOT THE PERSON WHO DESERVES TO BE CALLED DISABLED. I'm sick, but able-bodied.

Guys, I couldn't kill myself, please forgive me for causing distress and worrying y'all:(

Also sorry for people who expected/wanted me to kms, I just couldn't... I'm really sorry, hope I could do it soon

I'm already looking forward to cut myself and just the thought of cutting makes me all flustered!!

It's always "we will represent disabilities!" Until it comes to dystonia/atethosis/chorea/etc. Until they see a REAL seizure, not when a person just shakes on the ground. Until when they see how a person can't get up to go to the toilet due to fatigue. Until they see how a person suffers from pain all over their body, although they ate BUNCH of pain killers. Until disability ISN'T aesthetically lay in bed and sit on the internet. Until they see how a person can't go out on the street without someone who could help them, so they are forced to bed rotting all the time. Just please, if you speak about disabilities, talk about REAL disabilities, not "aesthetically" laying in the bed while everyone is pampering you.

When your illness is so rare, that you've 62% chance of being misdiagnosed and everyone who you find on YouTube is a random old guy and just a 18(?) years old guy:

Happy new year everyone!! I finally back!!