Hyde: I Poisoned One Of Our Glasses But I Forgot Which One.

that’s enough emotions for a whole year. ciao

Would you still love me if I impersonated the angel that your father promised to send to you and dropped a whole chandelier on your place of work

Who wore it better

“will you shut up about Thor for a minute” MY BROTHER IN CHRIST THE ROCKS ARE HAVING GAY SEX

i love when tragedies are like “the love was there. it didnt change anything. it didnt save anyone. there were just too many forces against it. but it still matters that the love was there”

no, no, you don’t get it these fictional book characters from the 19th century ARE in fact bisexual.

I PRESENT YOU

MY GREATEST CREATION

TRACKSUIT CREACHER

ps. yes the tracksuit is BATDIDAS

#the name is still Steven

Hey, did you know that Gaston Leroux’s Phantom of the Opera novel is available free on Wikisource or Project Gutenberg? Did you also know that it is completely gloriously bugfuck bonkers?

When the ballerinas are talking they hear a noise outside, and the head ballerina goes to check it out with the knife she always has, straight up ready to stab a ghost

The phantom shows up at the dinner party between the new and old managers and nobody says anything because they all think he's with the other guys

He doesn't have any dramatic entry to the masquerade ball - he's just wandering around in a cape with DON'T TOUCH THIS GUY embroidered on it in gold, and when somebody does he grabs them and glares at them, because come on, man, my cape asked you to do one thing

The phantom’s name is Erik. We know this because my dude is constantly talking about himself in the third person like an anime imouto

Ever wonder why there's suddenly a horse in the musical? Turns out it's because he just fuckin' steals one. Dude gets himself a basement horse.

His lair is a house on an underground lake with specifically surreal "middle-class" decorations. Dude has, like, cabinets from Pottery Barn

Except for his own room, which is all in black, and where this goth motherfucker sleeps in a literal coffin because "One has to get used to everything in life, even to eternity"

Dude goes out shopping and makes lunch. Christine specifically talks about eating some shrimp and a chicken wing that he'd set out like fuckin' Pagan Min

Christine has way more spine and agency than in the musical. Erik doesn't just randomly decide to bring her back from the first abduction; she deliberately butters him up over two weeks to convince him she'll come back if he lets her go

Then when Raoul demands to know where she's been she's like buddy I was at the corner of Nunya and Business

It's also her own idea to stay so Erik can see her sing on stage one more time

Erik's eyes specifically glow in the dark. This is relevant because one night Raoul thinks he sees glowing eyes out on the balcony. He tries turning the light on and off a couple times, and they're still there, and not answering when he calls out. So he is sure it's the Phantom and shoots him with a gun. There's some blood and Raoul's brother is like dude you shot a cat, and it's never mentioned again, so I guess there really is a cat out there with a scar and a very weird story

The phantom claims that the chandelier just did that

And that's before it gets really insane.

bro shut the fuck up i'm shifting into purim mode