Tw: Sucidal Thoughts - Blog Posts

Ugh scenarios where Bruce is literally suicidal, and has made many attempts, but keeps getting interrupted by his kids and alfred but they don't realise what he was going to do?and they don't know his mental state was that bad?? Sign me up cause I fucking love angst and hurt/comfort

13 yr old Bruce about to slit his throat in the bathroom, but alfred comes out of nowhere and tells him dinner is ready, he made his favourite cause he saw he looked off recently, and Bruce just goes out calmly and hugs him super tight?? Bruce, about to make a decision to end his life after he's all done raising dick (after he becomes nightwing) and knows that dick is set on the right path now and going to crime alley where his parents were shot to end it but ends up meeting jason instead?? After jason when he tied up all loose ends, closed cases, secured gotham good enough, About to go on patrol for one last time, then after he'll jump off, but then meets tim that evening saying he knows who he is?? Meeting cass just when he was planning to do it cause he genuinely hated himself, but seeing so many similarities between him and cass, knowing she sees them too and scared that after he suicides she'll get those ideas too cause they're so similar? Decides to try to help her?? Meeting nightwing when he was going to jump off cause dick wanted to surprise him from blud and he just thought Bruce was brooding?? getting a call from Damain in the middle of the day when he was about to stage a car crash and listens as damian (mad at him) asks him to come to the school to pick him up cause he got suspended for 2 days for knocking out a student for being racist.

CAN U IMAGINE A CONFRONTATION WHERE BRUCE THOUGHT THEY ALREADY KNEW?? AND HES TAKING THIS CASUAL BUT THEYRE FUCKING NOT??

hey, come on, there is nothing more blissful than crossing the bridge instead of jumping off of it.

Art by @kmcvisuals

there’s nothing like the feeling of hiding under your covers while texting your roommate about why you want to kill yourself

stupid rant

I feel like all my friends are pulling away from me and I don’t know why.

no one responds to my texts yet they don’t text me without me doing so first, or they say that they didn’t see my message when I can see when they read it. Everyone has time to hang together, but when I ask to join they have too many people even though it’s just my roommate and our two friends. Suddenly everything that we all used to do gets pushed to the side only for me to see them posting about how fun their day was, but they told me it was canceled.

I feel like I’m being excluded from my own friend group, and I hate this feeling of abandonment. I don’t like being lonely. And I might be overreacting but if you were in my place, you’d probably feel the same way!

when i actually do get “included” it’s like im not even there, i got talked over and brushed past, it’s like im a ghost. I thought part of college would be better then high school, but turns out it’s the exact same, full of fake friends and people that only want to use you for their own gain. Fuck this place and fuck my friends

life update

over the past few weeks a lot has happened that I haven't talked about on here. to sum it up there's this man that's been stalking me since November and my college is doing next to nothing about it.

ive been to a fuck ton of meetings about it and I had one today where someone finally took me seriously about how this guy is not a student but instead a guy that's old enough to be my father. he knows where I live and just stands across the Road or paces by the door waiting.

its creepy as fuck and has left me feeling unsafe and like im being watched all the time. im terrified of walking by myself and im jumpy no matter what.

my friends are mostly being people that I can lean on but just today a close friend of mine has told be to not keep them updated and that they don't care. it might be an extreme reaction, but when things like this happen I block their number for a bit to give people space and to take a step back.

I want to continue being active on Tumblr but everything is getting to me and im honestly this close to deleting all of my socials and not talking to anyone on my campus. this on top of my eating disorder is not going well at all. im In a constant state of binging and then purging it all from worry and then I starve for 3 days and then I repeat the fucking cycle all while going to classes and meetings with the head of our campus security. it wasn't until today that I fully told my boyfriend what's been going on because I didn't want to admit that im being stalked as that would make it seem more real.

this on top of the state of the us is making me really debate why im still here. I might have stopped being super suicidal, but the urge to slit my wrists is coming back super strong. ive even started writing in my old journal about it while also drawing out how I have been feeling in it.

everything is getting to be too much for me and I want it all to end immediately. I NEED it to end before I end it all once and for all guys.

Welp

After the worst fucking day, I just threw 2 weeks down the drain. I was doing so well, and I went and messed it up. i was clean for two weeks then I went and played fruit ninja on my arms. FUCK. I am quite literally a fuck up

I just can’t do anything right anymore. So here is my current mood. Idk what I’m doing anymore, should prolly just die lol. That sounds like a better idea than anything. My bf could do way better, and be way happier with someone who isn’t a fuck up. With someone that he doesn’t have to worry about hurting themselves. Mom and dad don’t care, they’re too busy arguing to be bothered by me. That deserve a happy, non-messed up child.

so if anyone is wondering, I have playlist for when I fuck up. Idk if anyone else does this lol, but here what I got. Damn this post is a mess lol

Hot Take

Steven is in hospital for emergency psychiatric treatment. If his mental state is really as bad as it seems, it's probably deteriorating at a pace where it is unlikely to be controlled without drastic intervention. He's having flashbacks, for God’s sake.

There are a number of reasons why a person can be hospitalised in this situation:

They require medication for their mental state, and need to be kept under observation to make sure there are no adverse effects

They are so unwell that they are unable to control their responses, and may be a danger to themselves or others

They may be suicidal or show suicidal tendencies

I feel like Rebecca wouldn’t go quite that far, but given that the latest leak that more or less involved Steven saying that he didn’t want to live anymore, I wouldn’t put it past her.

I was once hospitalised due to a mental health breakdown. I hated it, and I have trauma from the expirience. I only hope that Steven manages to avoid the worst of it.

Also... Why is he in a boat? It it the H.M.S Residual Trauma?

- Pasta

Ps. Sorry for not posting much, school went back and proceeded to kick me in the ass.