"So are ALL of your friends woman?"
Alastor looks up from his book and tilted his head at Angel, briefly dislodging Nifty who was crafting him a new King Roach 2.0 crown.
"Whatever do you mean my good fellow? Husker's right behind you!"
Husk scowled and pointedly flipped him off while drinking straight from a bottle of vodka.
Angel patted his paw and took the bottle away with his other hand. "I mean a guy you don't have on your pay role."
Alastor hummed, "Woman are much better conversation partners. Witty, charming, and full of pizazz! Men just can't compare."
Vaggie poked her head into the room, and hearing this, grunted in agreement, "For once, can't say I disagree with you."
Angel exaggeratedly placed his hand over his heart and gasped like he'd been betrayed.
Lucifer was a bit suspicious, "You know, that sounds like something you'd say to describe yourself."
Nifty finished the crown and bestowed it upon Alastor with a flourish and a bow. He gave Lucifer a mocking smile, "I'm flattered you think so, I'd only be so fortunate."
Angel stopped antagonizing Vaggie and jokingly said, "to be a woman?"
Alastor laughed, this time like Angel had said something absurdly obvious, "Well yes, wouldn't everyone?"
Alastor: *reading a recipe* Whisk until pale... Lucifer, come here for a moment.
Lucifer: Hm, what?
Alastor: *grabs his arm, compares the batter to his skin* Hmm... I'd say that's close enough.
—
Alastor: How much of the Bible was even real?
Lucifer: Assume everything you read in it is false.
Alastor: I see, so Jesus never happened and God doesn't exist.
Lucifer: What? No—
—
Angel: What do you even know about addiction?
Alastor: ... Angel, I was a soldier in the First World War. I lived during the prohibition. I still take medicine with cocaine in it, and I still make moonshine in my bathtub.
Alastor: "What do I know about addiction," the nerve.
—
Vox: We could have been GREAT!
Alastor: Great what? Clowns? I don't want to be a part of your circus, Vox. Unlike you, I don't derive sexual pleasure from feeling humiliated. Take your Tony the Tiger impression somewhere else.
Vox:
Vox: How the fuck do you know who Tony the Tiger is?
—
Charlie: Look, Alastor, I'm not trying to step on your toes, but—
Alastor: You'd have a difficult time, given that I don't have any.
—
Alastor: Goodbye, chums! I'm off to have Girl Dinner with Rosie!
—
Alastor: Shut up, Susan.
Vaggie: ... That's not my name.
Alastor: ... Question, were you always an exorcist angel or did you have human relatives at some point? You remind me of someone.
—
Angel: And transgender is basically people who don't identify with the gender they were assigned to at birth.
Alastor: Oh, I see, so it's like how I tricked my sperm donor into thinking I was always a boy and made him think he was clinically insane for having memories of the contrary!
Angel:
Angel: You WHAT?!