Thoughts - Blog Posts
What about the ones who don't figure it out? Do they splash around in love till someone comes along and save them? Or do they drown slowly, regretting that they fell in love? I wish we knew how deep the waters were before we decide to dive in. I wish we knew how much it hurts when you try to breathe underwater.
“Some people don’t know how to fall in love, like not knowing how to swim. They panic first when they jump in. Then they figure it out.”
— Sarah Addison Allen
“Don’t say maybe if you want to say no.”
— Paulo Coelho
I was watching Spiderman: far from home the other day. When Mysterio told Peter "you're not selfish for wanting a normal life" I almost started bawling my eyes out.
One thing I noticed is how Iron man brings out the worst in many people. There were multiple times when someone wanted to present him with something that they thought could change the world, and instead of trying to make the best of it, he ended up being dismissive or completely ignoring them, resulting in a traumatic event that triggers the worst aspects of their personality to come forth. Now ofc I'm not excusing their own bad choices, but I thought it was interesting how it seems like Iron man has inadvertently sabotaged Peter in several ways.
Mysterio could have been the perfect mentor for Peter. But he chose to be a terrible person. And that just makes me so sad.
Even still, a broken clock is right twice a day. And that speech "you're not selfish for wanting a normal life" means alot to me.
You are here to be beautiful 💗
(And strange😈)
Screw having main character energy, I like having supportive side character energy with an episode dedicated to my comings and goings
Lost
I lost the hunger but still have the love.
Split between the two.
Who I was and who I am.
Trying to find a common, that area filled with caution.
Is that trauma or am I just hiding ?
Hiding from the fact I can’t reach certain heights.
Is this lack of preparation or perspective ?
Im destined but my story is still being written.
I can choose any path but I don’t have no sense of direction.
I am lost.

Trap Door
A cold breeze covering my chest, Sending chills down my spine.
Watching what we had fading like time easing.
Thought we were ever lasting but you’re forever changing.
Going from everything I want to nothing I need.
Should of listened to my friends, they saw it coming like a prophet.
Telling me to put my feelings in pocket.
Stay solid.
Watch who you fall for, but I can’t help who I fall for.
It’s like a trap door.
Stuck between these floors.
Can’t escape these flaws.
It’s like I’m coming home from war.
Post dramatic stress.
I don’t get a lot of rest cause when I see the sun set, I see you.
Sensation
I miss your sensation but it’s gone like plantation for the slaving.
I’m caving off this Hennessy.
Dreaming of your canopy.
Losing my sanity cause I want you here with me after what you did to me.
Feeling so stupidly cause I’m fluent in this misery.
Asking why pain so glittery.
It tempted me now I can’t be free.
You got the to deed to me.
I can’t escape the need to fight it like creed.
I hardly get any sleep.
Thinking of you when you out in the streets.
I was all for you but wasn’t for me.
There are times in my life I have wondered where the pain goes when it is absent. In my age I've realised that the answer to that question is simply; 'deeper'.
Owen from “Lilytooth”, a work in progress
At the moment of conception, the story exists as a superposition of possibility, idly waiting for someone to crack it. Waiting for someone to skip to the last page.
Annihilation
0.0001 multiplied by the speed of light squared is 9 trillion.
Or, 100mg worth of matter and antimatter multiplied by 3x10^8 squared gives you 9000000000000 joules of energy. Specifically, this is referred to as Annihilation energy.
0.0001 kg would provide the equivalent of 14.28 % of the energy in the Hiroshima atomic bomb.
The average weight of two human bodies is 124kg.
Aaaawwwwwww , thank you everyone for 30 followers (つ≧▽≦)つ
I donnu what to say , I'm just so happy to be with you all 🥹
The Trial by Kafka
*Spoilers if you want to read*
If you think you're oppressed, you are.
In the story the main character Josef K (referred to as "K") gets arrested at the start. Through out he learns drips and drabs about the legal system he's being accused by. He does not learn what he's accused of, when his court date is, and what his punishment might be. But rest assured, he is told his case is very serious and he is in a lot of trouble, so best behaviour yeah? During the year that follows he becomes a shell of what he used to be and what he stood for, becoming unfocused on work and no longer making meaningful relationships with those around him.
At the end he is unceremoniously killed at the middle of the night with a knife in the chest on a rock under the moon. K was strangely at peace with this.
K suffered more in the year leading up to his execution, every minute looking over his shoulder, wondering what, where and when any of the process would take a step forward. What a relief when it finally came to an end.
Most of our daily life is spent worrying bills, rent, relationships and anything under the sun. Worrying that the sky is going to fall causes more harm than the sky actually falling.
I saw the tv glow and turned it’s brightness up.
I was happy to see that other people’s tv’s also glowed, but I noticed that my tv was a different shade than theirs. Soon after that, I noticed that my tv was a completely different colour. It was a deep green, turning into white, turning into grey, turning into black.
I turned the brightness of the tv down, but left it just enough to always play in the background, like a little song in the back of my brain that I can’t remember the words of.
I never saw a person whose tv had the same colour as mine and it made me feel like no one would appreciate it. It was quite an interesting colour; I did plenty of research on it, but the people who did have their tv that colour never really got to be a real part of society.
I turned the brightness up again this year—not by a lot, just a bit to make out the colours—and while looking at it, I realised something. If I were to let my tv glow, it would mean never truly feeling a part of this world.
Love was such a big part of a person’s life. So why didn’t I feel any of it? I loved my friends, I loved my family, I loved my pets. Why wasn’t I cable of loving on another level? Why didn’t romance strike me as this beautiful thing rather than this tedious chore? I wanted to rip my heart out—why wasn’t it feeling things like the other hearts felt them? Why didn’t it speed up at the sight of a pretty woman or handsome man? Why did it just pump my blood and not my feelings?
If I were to let my tv glow, it would mean embracing who I truly am. But I don’t know who I truly am. And I haven’t known for a really long time.
si vis pacem para bellum but in the teenage girl going insane way
sometimes I feel like I've already lost everything but then I have breakfast while watching tv with my siblings and then everything is ok Idunno
eri talmente distante che mi sono scordata che c'eri
milk and honey, rupi kaur
"Let me tell you something about nature. Nature never allows you to fall on your face if you take risks - never. It goes like this;
if you laugh you risk appearing to be a fool.
If you weep, you risk appearing to be sentimental.
If you reach out for another, you risk rejection.
If you love, you risk not being loved in return.
If you place your dreams in front of the crowd - as we do - you risk ridicule.
If you go forward in the face of overwhelming odds, you risk failure but risk must be taken for the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.
The person who risks nothing, has nothing, does nothing, is nothing. That person may avoid suffering, pain and embarrassment but that individual will not learn, grow, feel, love or change. Only the person who takes risks is truly free."
- Chris Eubank
One piece of media that totally changed my perspective is Viktor Frankl’s "Man's Search for Meaning." His story hit hard. Frankl talks about how he found purpose even in the darkest moments, saying, “When we can’t change a situation, we have to change ourselves". It made me realize that life can throw some serious curveballs, but how we respond is what matters.
He says,“life isn’t unbearable because of circumstances", and that idea flipped a switch for me. Nowadays, whenever I encounter difficulties, I work hard to understand what is the purpose behind it rather than just get stressed about it. I have been able to forgive and have compassion for myself and other people who might find it difficult to understand where I am coming from. To be frank, it is a game changer. 💯💯💯
What’s a piece of media (book, movie, song, etc.) that completely changed your perspective on life? How did it impact you?
What’s a piece of media (book, movie, song, etc.) that completely changed your perspective on life? How did it impact you?
The fact that humans are so obsessed with their outward appearance is so ironic considering the most beautiful thing about humans is their nature.
what is it we find so dark and murky in the universe that we can't find in our silly synapses?
With only the irregular rush of cars playing notes in the dark air, I think of how I've lived a thousand lives before and no experience of mine will ever be unique. Yes, it must be a curse to never know enough, but isn't it a greater burden, how with every try, memory brushes out of reach and I'm born anew, scribbling different patterns over the same black slate, mere Sisyphus rolling the stone back up, but not quite, yet again. In another lifetime perhaps my fingers bled more amply over the long gone green, but I shall never know, shall I? Soon, I too will fade again, like the stars burnt into my blood and at the edge of dawn, I'll become yet another familiar turn in someone's long forgone hometown. The same lover, hopeful yet and despite the ghost heartaches from previous lives. familiar aches of circling and continuing about birth and rebirth, like the tissues after tissues used to wipe my tears, discarded and never thought of once again. The familiar homesick sounds of the city lull me to a serene embrace and I think, how only the brightest flash across the night sky is when the endless stars touch something achingly mortal.
Pluto spun around the sun, until its light was too blinding, even for its love struck eyes to take. So it withdrew its orbit, pulling back as if leaving makes the river run softer, like leaving wouldn't marr the existence of anything else in its stead. Bask in the afterglow with me and tell me love, do the golden rays seem harsher from my window?
infinity is such a difficult concept to comprehend because humans aren't used to the idea of forever. everyday, something ends in our lives. we can't imagine anything not-ending that is real. our lives are defined by endings. anything related to us will aways end. we will die, another ending. infinity challenges the whole notion of the cycle of everything as we know it.
writing is just letting your wounds bleed on paper.
it's been 5 years and I still remember your birthday. I don't think I'll ever forget it to be honest. it's been imprinted in my brain and every year around the start of fall, I think of you. and I know I'll be having the same thoughts in 10 years time and we'll still be miles away.
I don't annotate much in books, and yet if it was him? I'd underline every letter. the margins would be complete with my handwriting (I hope). I'd highlight all of him, every single page.