One of the hardest parts of being chronically ill and disabled is not the constant pain and fatigue for me, it is the choosing. Making the heart wreching decisions over and over in choosing between things that you love to do. Having no choice but to prioritise even when those priorities are all equally important. I can't practise photography this week because there are people who depend on me and I have to get to these appointments. I have to be cautious that I don't burn all my energy at the end of the week and that means giving up on things I enjoy. I want to do it all, I don't want to constantly having to say no to people and activities, but my body is physically not able to do it all. And that still shatters my heart every single day.