Spawn Astarion - Blog Posts

“My blood thirsty friend.”

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Is there anything you can share there? He loves wool and socks or something.

Newbon: Yeah. There’s a thing where Astarion always checks his nails when he is trying to just dominate people. He dismisses them with a head turn, usually to the left. He does this to put people in their place, to make them acutely aware that he’s in control.

Actually, one thing I can tell you—the base pose that he has, which is this very upward movement, arms open—that was something that we experimented with. That was actually a combination of myself and Josh Weeden, who’s one of the directors on the game. We came up with that together. They wanted a unique base pose. The footing is different from everybody else’s. But then I added this sort of open arms up and his head up, looking down his nose at everybody.

So the reason that his head stands like this is a psychological thing. He thinks everybody else is beneath him, so he looks down his nose, which is why the head is slightly angular. That is a very particular habitual choice that we made to inform more about the character. Literally, I look down my nose, and that’s why his stance is like that.

I think there are a couple of other characters that have unique base poses, but most have the same base pose. He’s one of the unique ones.

This scene has always broken my heart, but the mod helped a little — at least now I can comfort him.

"I HATE Ascended Astarion..."

(People are so afraid to face the truth that they came up with a headcanon about losing his soul, which was completely debunked by the developers.)

These excerpts from Van Richten's Guide to Vampires seem particularly intriguing in the context of Astarion’s “good” ending, as I’ve always been skeptical of the very idea of “fixing” a vampire. Even without considering the early concept of Astarion’s backstory, where he was already pursuing eternal life and acting immorally as a corrupt magistrate long before becoming a vampire.

In D&D lore, vampires are inherently evil creatures by default. Their alignment undergoes a drastic shift upon their transformation: emotions and feelings become distorted, moral principles (if they weren’t already corrupt before the transformation) are warped, and the thirst for power and control grows significantly. However, this aspect is often overlooked when it comes to Astarion’s spawn route, while all "vampiric" traits are attributed exclusively to his Ascended version. This, in reality, is a selective application of the lore.

Stephen Rooney: "It's important to have that… and also… he's a vampire, he's all about blood and he's all about darker sides of humanity. So, it's important that that's represented in the game."

Given these facts, the idea of shifting Astarion's alignment to good or even neutral seems highly unlikely. Considering the nature of vampirism, keeping him away from dark desires would be a significant challenge for Tav. It might even require rolling Charisma checks every few years to prevent him from succumbing to temptation. The only real way to move him toward a stable "redemption" would be to cure him of vampirism, which, as far as I know, is possible within D&D. However, the game itself never addresses this possibility. Instead, the spawn-ending merely offers the chance to seek a way to remain in the sun without sacrifices or deals with dark powers, as Ascended Astarion does.

However, according to Neil Newbon, Astarion is in harmony with his vampirism.

"Astarion’s challenge wasn't directly related to him being a vampire. It was that he was a spawn, and that he wasn't free. He is technically free now. [...] He's okay with being a vampire."

The prospect of being cured of vampirism does not even appeal to Astarion.

The first classification includes those who became vampires because of “deadly desire,” like Strahd Von Zarovich (see Chapter XIII, “The Who’s Doomed of Ravenloft,” in the Ravenloft boxed set).

The second comprises those who became vampires as the result of a curse, whether laid by a mortal or by an evil deity.

The third and final category is the most numerous: those unfortunates who became vampires as a result of the attack of another vampire.

The first two categories have one major factor in common: in almost all cases, these vampires were evil while they were alive. The transition to undeath never affects this, except, in some cases, to intensify their evil.

The final category is a completely different case. Victims of vampires have no commonality with regard to ethos, moral strictures, philosophy of life, care toward others, or any other factor. A victim of a vampire could be a saint or a sinner, a paladin or an assassin, a compassionate healer or a ruthless alley-basher.

The fact is that the vast majority of vampires are chaotic and extremely evil. How does this come about? In most cases, it seems that the transition to undeath itself brings about this grim change in the victim’s mentality; the Fledgling’s previous worldview is largely irrelevant.

There are, however, some fascinating exceptions—documented cases of Fledgling vampires that managed to retain some of the attitudes and beliefs they had while alive, at least for a time. What sets these exceptions apart? Was it, as some sages suggest, a characteristic of the vampire that created them? Or was it something inherent within the victim?

My own theory is this: the victim must possess immense strength of will, and the vampire that killed them must be prevented, in some way, from implementing the innate control such creatures have over “secondary” vampires. (This can happen if the creating vampire leaves the area or is destroyed between the time of the victim’s death and the night the victim first rises as a vampire.)

Some of the most fascinating examples of this sort of "carryover" were recorded by a sage whose name has been tragically lost in a treatise whose title I have borrowed (with thanks) for this chapter: The Mind of the Vampire. Two examples follow:

A young, naive man, raised in a sheltered and privileged family, was slain by a vampire passing through the neighborhood. At first, he was unaware of his true nature (or unwilling to accept it), believing that his "death" had been nothing more than a profound illness and that his "premature" burial was merely a mistake by his overzealous family. However, evidence of his vampiric nature soon became apparent. The poor wretch was unable to fully renounce the life he had left behind and took to "haunting" his old home, watching from the shadows and pretending he was still, at least peripherally, part of mortal life. He might have seemed a wholly pathetic figure were it not for his vicious attacks on anyone who dared to take away the semblance of his former life.

An intrepid vampire hunter was slain by one of the creatures she so tenaciously hunted; the monster that killed her was immediately destroyed by her colleagues. For reasons unknown, these colleagues neglected to take the necessary precautions to prevent the woman from rising as a vampire. The trauma she experienced upon realizing her vampiric condition was almost—but not quite—enough to drive her mad. She had taken up her life's work as a moral duty, committed to ridding the world of the scourge of vampirism, and now she had become the very thing she had always hated! Despite the shock, she resolved to make the best of the hand Fate had dealt her. She dedicated her unlife to continuing her mortal mission, using her newfound powers to track down and destroy others of her kind. Tragically, her sense of duty soon became corrupted by a quest for power, and she was ultimately destroyed by Strahd Von Zarovich.

Van Richten's Guide to Vampires. TSR, 1991, Chapter XII: "The Mind of the Vampire: The Psychology of Immortality."

But this thesis raises a fascinating question: if we set aside the matter of feeding habits, could a vampire exhibit other behavior patterns that might be described as “good”? The answer is “theoretically yes,” and I can even cite one short-lived example.

A man of good alignment was killed by a vampire and subsequently became a vampire himself, initially under the control of his dark master. When the master vampire was destroyed, the “minion” vampire became free-willed. Despite his undead condition, he still held the beliefs and attitudes that had, during his life, categorized him as Good. In secret, he resolved to use his powers to at least partially amend the damage caused by both himself and his master. For several decades, he acted as a secret benefactor to his hometown.

Unfortunately, this situation changed over time. At first, the undead benefactor sought no recognition, keeping his identity and nature completely secret. He lived in a cave on the outskirts of town and had no contact with the living. However, after a decade, it seems he began to resent the lack of gratitude shown by the townsfolk for his generosity. He started leaving behind notes requesting some form of “concrete appreciation,” generally in the form of money, in exchange for his efforts. (Of course, he had no need for money; the coins were purely symbolic of the thanks he felt he deserved.) His demands grew increasingly steep until the townsfolk decided his requests were excessive and stopped paying.

At this point, the vampire’s feelings toward the townsfolk turned to hatred. In his rage, he fell upon them like a scourge, terrorizing them until he was eventually destroyed by a group of intrepid adventurers.

I have a theory that explains this transformation. Eternity is a long time, and as the years passed, the vampire’s feelings began to change. Gradually, he lost his sense of kinship with the living and started prioritizing his own desires—even when those desires were irrational—over theirs. Eventually, he came to view their very lives as insignificant and unworthy of his consideration.

I strongly believe that this shift in attitude happens, inevitably, to all vampires. For some, it occurs almost immediately; for others, it may take decades. Although I lack concrete evidence to support this conjecture, I suspect that no vampire can maintain a nature other than Chaotic Evil beyond the Fledgling age category.

Van Richten's Guide to Vampires. TSR, 1991, Chapter XII: "The Mind of the Vampire: A Question of Alignment."

"Unascended" Astarion

Why I love the Spawn ending and why it's not "lesser"

Up until now, I've been lucky to stay on the Spawn-supportive side of the fandom, but yesterday, I stumbled upon some Ascendant-supportive interpretations, some of which surprised or even upset me. I want to make clear that my intention is not to point fingers here - I just want to work through my emotions and put the feeling into words, because, honestly, I felt a lot yesterday. Also, I think it's a great opportunity to share my own view: why I love his Spawn ending and think it is beautiful.

Let’s go through some points I’ve seen brought up:

"Unascended" Astarion

I’m not sure if this is a unified term for Spawn Astarion, but I’ve seen several posts refer to him as “Unascended.” That phrasing alone feels invalidating - as if he’s lesser or incomplete because he didn’t take the power offered. In a way, it echoes how Ascended Astarion refers to his former self, calling him pathetic.

But the Spawn ending isn’t about not ascending - it’s about reclaiming himself. This Astarion isn’t “less than.” He’s the same man they say they fell for, but now he’s free to grow, reflect, and choose who he wants to become.

"Miserable" Astarion

The moment when Astarion breaks down in tears after killing Cazador and then says he feels numb is mentioned a lot.

There’s a claim that it shows he’s miserable and regrets not ascending - in contrast to the Ascended version who laughs and says he feels alive.

But this interpretation completely misreads the moment. That breakdown isn’t weakness. It isn’t regret at having missed an opportunity. It’s emotional, cathartic release.

He just faced the man who controlled and tortured him for centuries, resisted over ultimate temptation with power, and chose to break the vicious cycle. He is finally free - not just to live to but grieve too.

Killing Cazador didn't erase or undo everything that happened, but it gave him space to feel it.

Up until now, survival was taking all the space, but now that the overpowering shadow of his former master is finally lifted, he feels empty, numb.

With that cry, Astarion releases the pain he was carrying for so long, mourning everything that was stolen from him, and feeling the weight of finally being free.

And there is this huge relief that it is finally over.

So he cries - and this is a perfectly natural and deeply human reaction. Crying isn't bad - it's a way to deal with strong emotions.

Meanwhile, the Ascended version laughs, high on power and control, - a very different kind of reaction.

“Depressed” Astarion

Some say that Astarion seems miserable or depressed in the Spawn ending. But what I see is the opposite: he’s calmer, more grounded, and more honest. They are concerned because he doesn’t constantly joke or flirt like before. But that version of Astarion - the flamboyant, seductive, constantly smirking version - was his mask. A performance he relied on over centuries to survive.

In the Spawn path, he still uses it from time to time - old habits die hard. But now, with Tav, he doesn’t need it. He’s safe enough to be real - to show vulnerability, to ask for connection, to speak softly and show doubt. Yes, his tone changes. He’s more serious, but that’s not sadness - it’s growth that shows in calm self-reflection.

That some interpret as a “loss of charm” is actually him finally lowering his defenses. He speaks softly, shows doubt, asks for real connection and allows himself to be seen. That’s vulnerability and real strength.

Well, of course, he can feel sad too. He needs time to process. And that's how the healing starts. It can't be a 100% nice and pleasant experience - it will be painful, ugly, even - but in a necessary, honest way, with shaking and tears. But you need to get through the thorns to reach the stars.

"Rejecting" Astarion

There’s a moment in the Spawn ending where Tav can offer to protect him now that he’s still a vampire spawn, and Astarion gently declines. I saw someone interpret this as a sign of distrust - that Astarion can’t forgive Tav for denying him the chance to walk in the sun, and that he’s pushing them away to protect himself.

Yes, Tav’s wording may come off a bit awkward - “I’ll protect you” - but I believe it is said out of love: a sincere attempt to comfort and reassure.

And Astarion’s reply is a gentle refusal. He accepts their care, but sets a new boundary. He doesn't seek to rely on someone strong anymore - he wants to be his own protector, because now he believes he is enough.

That’s the new strength he found in rejecting the stolen power promised by the Rite.

"Strong" Astarion

There’s an idea that the Ascended path gives Astarion power and confidence, while the Spawn path leaves him weak and miserable.

But that confidence? Try asking Ascended Astarion about his past - about Cazador. He snaps. He doesn’t want to talk. He lashes out.

Spawn Astarion, by contrast, can talk about it. He faces it, even when it hurts.

Ascended Astarion might have new powers, but inside, he is weaker than ever.

He might look invincible, might say all the pretty words about being in control, but he’s emotionally cut off. He’s angry, reactive, guarded. He doesn’t want his past mentioned because it still owns him. Why? Because he became its embodiment, continuing the wicked cycle of power-seeking and domination.

The powers gave him control, but cost him everything else: his softness, his openness, his ability to grow. He becomes what he used to hate, and that’s not freedom - that’s entrapment by another name.

I think the tragedy is that Ascended Astarion no longer believes in love or trust - only in power, and the illusion of safety it brings.

In contrast, Spawn Astarion chooses trust: in himself, in Tav, in friendship, in this world. He chooses life, with all its mess and uncertainty.

Yes, he has limitations as a spawn. But don't we all have them, one way or another? These limitations don't make us less valuable. And yes, he mourns them, mourns the sunlight and everything else that was stolen from him. And that's human. But it doesn't mean he regrets his choice. He embraces what he can have: love, freedom, real connection, the chance to shape his own path.

And it is very brave to learn to face your shadows and work through them, so they won't hold you back or make you feel bad about yourself. It can make one stronger and more compassionate toward other people's weaknesses. It reminds me of this quote that stuck with me when I saw it:

"Do you understand the violence it took to become this gentle?" (Nitya Prakash)

Astarion isn’t “perfect” in the Spawn ending. He’s still learning, still healing, still growing. But for the first time in his life, he’s doing it on his own terms. He is not rid of his wounds and uncertainty. The Ascended path is covering the scars with glamor and denial. But these scars don’t make Astarion someone less, they make him real. And his choice - to remain himself rather than become someone he used to hate - is strength, not loss.

The Ascended path closes its eyes on the inconvenient moments, unable to handle them. Believing that version of him is happy and content is doing the same - painting castles in the sky instead of looking at the radiant in its messiness truth.

"Humbled" Astarion

Another criticism I saw was that Astarion thanks Tav for being patient with him. And trusting him "when it was objectively stupid."

The argument was that he shouldn’t feel grateful for being “tolerated,” that this shows low self-worth and implies an unhealthy dynamic where love is conditional.

But loving someone “as they are” doesn’t mean you resist their growth. You can see someone’s potential and want this for them, but still cherish them in every stage of becoming. Patience in love isn’t about wanting to fix your loved one - it’s holding space for them while they are looking for their way to their better selves. It's about seeing someone with all their flaws and wounds and staying beside them anyway. Not closing your eyes and pretending everything is fine.

When Astarion says “thank you for being patient,” it’s not self-deprecation, it's recognition. It’s him saying: "I know I was difficult. And I’m so grateful you stayed."

Astarion was still discovering who he was. He believed in a cruel system, and it took time, trust, and care to step outside it. It’s a deeply vulnerable moment of acknowledging that he was in the process of relearning who he truly was, beyond what Cazador told him to be, shaking off centuries of trauma and manipulation. And it takes immense courage to face it.

So Tav’s patience is a form of love. A love that doesn’t rush him. That looks beyond a mask or performance. A love that quietly waits beside him until he’s ready. When Astarion says next that he feels “safe and seen”, it's everything. He’s not being humbled in the sense of being diminished or broken - he’s grounding himself.

Astarion gains a deeper understanding of himself - the freedom to feel everything fully and still keep going. That’s not being less. That’s becoming whole.

And yes - this humility is strength. A strength that the Ascended Astarion refused. He cannot grow, he's entraped, frozen in a performance of power, unable to confront or heal from the pain that shaped him into what he chose to become.

But Spawn Astarion can move forward. That’s why his “thank you for being patient” means something. Because he finally knows himself. Or at least starting to get to know himself. And he chooses to be loved as that man.

Conclusion

The tragedy of the Ascended path is that Astarion loses the one thing he fought so hard for: himself.

He doesn't believe in love anymore, only in power and control. He inherited the world that Cazador painted for him.

But the Spawn path is about choosing to live. To feel. To love.

Astarion chooses to leave the past behind and start again. To face uncertainty and shadows as himself, not as a vampire lord.

And hearing someone rob him of this, invalidate and pity for this choice... honestly? It hurts. And yes, I do feel angry about it.

I do try not to blame or disrespect people who see this so differently, but it doesn't mean I can't have emotions about this. So I needed to vent in the most civilized way possible.

Still, no one can take that from him, our Radiant Hopeful.

Ascension or Not?

(12/? part of “Astarion: In Search of True Self” — [masterpost here])

Trigger warning: Spawn route / Ascension reflection

The Rite of Profane Ascension is the culmination of The Pale Elf’s story - everything has been building toward this: the fear, the shame, the survival instincts, the longing to be seen, the need to finally break free. It’s the most dangerous moment for Astarion - the fork in the road that will change everything.

We’ve already talked about how much Astarion longs to be truly seen. That’s why it hurts so deeply when he isn’t. When Tav misreads him - sees only the seducer, the witty, wicked vampire spawn - it encourages him to stay inside that mask. And he will, because that’s how he survived for two hundred years. But if Tav reaches gently toward what’s underneath, if they speak to the heart of him… he starts to hope: “Could there really be another way?”

The desire to be seen for more than he was made to be is so strong in him that it feels like he is constantly unconsciously searching for it. Not just admired or desired but truly known - it is woven into everything he does. But the tragedy is, the version of himself that he crafted to survive - charming, flirtatious, in control - is so convincing that even he sometimes believes that’s all he has to be. No wonder many players assume Ascension is what Astarion really wants.

That’s why the ritual is so dangerous. It is the ultimate temptation that seemingly can make all his fears disappear, promising eternal power. But it doesn’t free him. It traps him even deeper. Because it is the culmination of Cazador's legacy that he taught him: that power is everything, that it gives you the right to take and abuse, that to be weak is to be worthless and hurt, that vulnerability is pathetic. There is no place for kindness or love in this world.

If Tav helps him to go through with the ritual, it might seem like they’re validating his choice. But what it tells him is: you, as you are - frightened, hurt, still healing but craving connection - are not enough. That the only version of him others can value is the cold, invulnerable one.

It confirms his worst fear, so he clings to it harder.

That’s why, for me, Ascension isn’t Astarion’s "true self." It’s his trauma self - the final mask locked in place by a diabolical ritual, that becomes his new self forever. It's not freedom - it’s losing. Losing to fear. Losing to Cazador’s values. Losing the hope that was beginning to bloom.

But if Tav sees past those layers of defences and stops him - gently, lovingly - it’s not about forcing him to be "good." It’s about saying: I see you. And you're enough, just as you are. You don't need this to be free, to be loved.

That’s why it’s so moving when Tav instead gently reminds him that there is another way, reflecting his humanity back to him. In that route, Astarion finally allows himself to believe he’s more than what Cazador made him: not because he takes power, but because he rejects it and breaks that cycle.

When Astarion walks away from the Rite, it’s not weakness. It’s the first step toward becoming someone he never thought he could be - not a tool, not a monster, not someone else's shadow, but someone who can start discovering his real self. It’s a newfound freedom that finally allows him to start living again.

I want to say something about the Ascended route, too. I haven’t played it myself, only read and watched some bits of it - and maybe I might talk about it more later. But I’ll share just this for now.

For me, Ascension is a very sad and lonely choice for Astaion. By that, he forever separates himself from everyone else, from any genuine connection he could have had with the rest of the world.

Yes, Ascended Astarion still “cares” about Tav - they are still important to him. Maybe the most important person in his world, because he is not likely to let anyone in anymore. But it's not the same - not without that warmth, not when he owns them now. He puts them in the position he once fought so desperately to escape - completely dependent on someone else’s power. He might still be kind. But they are not equals. And I can’t help but wonder how long that kindness would last.

Yes, he can walk in the sun. He can taste food, enjoy luxuries. But without healing, those things are hollow. How long until the joy of novelty wears off? Until the hunger for power inside grows stronger again, forever insatiable? Until it can't satisfy him anymore, and he turns toward the one who cannot leave or say no? Love is not control.

So, for me, persuading Astarion to give up that idea is not forcing him against his nature - it's reminding him of it. Tav cares about him and doesn't want him to corner himself in a choice he might regret later. It's not about moralizing or controlling his choices, but about wanting him to be happy in the long run. If Astarion had made a decision in anger or desperation, its result would have haunted him forever.

That’s why I don’t even like calling it the “Spawn ending.” To me, it’s simply Astarion’s ending. The one where he can finally become who he truly is. Himself.

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Sharess’ Caress: Trying to Feel Whole

(10/? part of “Astarion: In Search of True Self” — [masterpost here])

When we first arrived at Sharess’ Caress during my initial playthrough, I simply said no, and we moved on. But later, I saw others mention something Astarion says during the encounter with the twins - and I realized I needed to see it to understand him better.

I tried returning to Sharess' Caress from the old save file, where we haven't finished his personal quest yet. But the dialogue didn't go the way I saw it discussed, so after researching, I realized that the interactions are different, depending on when you come to the place - before defeating Cazador or after.

But in the end, I couldn't make myself go with it, not with my Tav, Roanael, so in the end I just watched a recording on YouTube (//v;)

If it happens before Cazador, Astarion gently but firmly declines the offer to spend a night with Tav and the drow twins. And it is wonderful to see him feeling safe enough to draw this line and protect his boundaries.

If you say you wouldn’t make him do it, he says, “Don’t be so nice to me! It makes me want to be nice back…” - it is framed like another joke, but he looks touched and sad at the same time.

If you decide to go alone, he shows some disapproval and concern - "Enjoy yourself, of course, but I dearly hope you aren't only having sex because we haven't in a while."

I feel he is trying to hide how much it actually bothers him that he might not be enough, that he can't give you want you want... and that you want it so much you can't wait for him, you still need it here and now, no matter who would be your partner.

Interestingly, this doesn’t even lower his approval (unlike, say, Gale’s) - maybe because Astarion doesn’t feel he has a right to disapprove. But that doesn’t make it any less painful.

What surprised me is that if you go there after defeating Cazador and finishing Astarion’s ark, he agrees, saying now that he is free, he is ready to try doing this again. Astarion tries to sound enthusiastic. He even reassures Tav that if he doesn’t like something, he will run away. But his laugh sounds almost hysterical.

If Tav goes with this alone, Astarion comments: “You have a type, don't you? Elven prostitutes? Again? It's rather embarrassing, dear.”

And while Tav and Astarion are spending time with the drow twins, he says all sorts of things like they are dealing with a professional, and he is being very attentive to everyone, but Tav notices that it’s all instinctual, and he is far away at the moment, clearly dissociating.

This place and situation trigger a lot of traumatic memories. And it also shows that even after we defeated Cazador and Astarion overcame his fear and decided to start a new life - he is still healing, it’s not like he magically recovered in a moment.

This whole episode in the brothel with Astarion is very difficult to see (I'd say it's horrible to do to him, if he didn't agree to this himself when he didn't have to) - but it also shows how deep his wounds are. Even after Cazador is gone, his shadow is still there: even if there is no one forcing him now, he does it to himself, cornering himself into the same patterns without realizing it.

Tragically, once Astarion agrees, the game doesn't allow Tav to change their mind, even if it's clear how distressed he is. But as they proceed, Tav can't help but notice just how skilful and gorgeous Astarion is in bed. He notices their eyes on him and asks why they are looking at him like this, and there is an option to reply, “Just making sure you’re okay.” And Astarion’s reaction is: “I wish to drink… And to be drunk.”

Honestly... it sounds a bit out of place, but it makes it even worse. Because it is not sensual. It is not said of intoxication by pleasure. It's numbness. Falling apart into the same state of performance as those thousands of times when he laid down on his back before.

But the way Astarion tries to push through is not a weakness - it shows how deeply he wants to feel whole again, even if he doesn’t yet know what that looks like. He’s trying to prove to Tav, but even more to himself: I’m free now. I can do this. I’m normal.

And it hurts because he shouldn’t have to.

Because healing is slow, messy, with ups and downs - and that’s perfectly fine.

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Don't let them take the light behind your eyes 🥹

Taken in Cazador's lair when trying to talk Astarion out of ascending.

These are just two screenshots I took that I couldn't believe turned out so poignant so I thought I'd share! I recommend clicking and enlarging to capture the difference in his eyes really well.

He's so precious it hurts 😭