Sdv Bachelors - Blog Posts

He bought himself a plant, put it in the middle of the room, and now he stares at it all day.

𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝚂𝚎𝚕𝚏-𝙳𝚘𝚞𝚋𝚝 𝙲𝚊𝚝𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚘𝚙𝚑𝚎

Farmer: *leaning on their hoe, sighing deeply* Damn, I’m so useless.

Abigail: *bursts through a wall like the Kool-Aid Man* WHO SAID THAT?!

Sebastian: *appears from the shadows* YOU WANNA TRY THAT LINE AGAIN?!

Sam: *backflips off his skateboard* OH HELL NO!

Shane: *launches a beer can across the farm* THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY?!

Harvey: *running in, stethoscope flying* EXCUSE ME, THAT IS A MEDICAL LIE!

Elliott: *dramatic gasp flipping his hair* HOW DARE YOU INSULT YOURSELF IN SUCH A WAY?!

Haley: *lowers her sunglasses* That’s literally the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.

Leah: *grabbing their hands gently* You are nature’s masterpiece, don’t you ever forget it.

Alex: *flexing aggressively* YOU’RE STRONG AS HELL, DON’T MAKE ME GIVE YOU A PEP TALK!

Penny: *clutching a book* You are worthy of love and respect, Farmer!

Maru: *holding a literal blueprint for an invention called "Farmer Confidence Booster 3000"* I BETTER START BUILDING THIS!

Emily: *already mid-dance to cleanse the negativity* BEGONE, NEGATIVE ENERGY! I CLEANSE THIS FARM WITH THE POWER OF YOBA!

Krobus: *somehow appearing from the sewers* I DON'T EVEN UNDERSTAND HUMAN EMOTIONS BUT I KNOW THAT'S WRONG.

Pierre: *stepping out of his shop* Yes, even I think—!

Caroline: *dragging him back inside* PIERRE, READ THE ROOM.

Wizard: *literally appears in a cloud of smoke* THAT IS A DANGEROUS FALSEHOOD, FARMER.

Linus: *nodding wisely from the mountains* You are part of nature’s balance. Never forget that.

Other Marriage Candidates: *crash through windows, doors, appears through a portal or possibly even from underground* SAY THAT AGAIN, WE DARE YOU!

Farmer: *overwhelmed, hands up* Okay! I take it back! Damn, that worked a little too well…

Gus: *sliding a drink over* Yeah, don’t do that again. We almost lost half the Saloon to a riot.

Summary: Lance and Jio, complete opposites, find themselves bound by marriage into an unexpected family. Over drinks, they share stories of how their wives nearly killed them upon first meeting. What starts as mockery slowly turns into understanding, whether they like it or not, they’re brothers now.

A/N: I don’t know what came over me when I wrote this. Seriously. Lance and Jio in the same room, willingly? That’s basically a sign of the apocalypse. But somehow, these two disasters ended up as family, and now they have to deal with it. I imagine it’s as painful for them as it is entertaining for us. Anyway, enjoy the chaos!

The quiet hum of the evening settled over the valley, the golden hues of the sunset stretching long shadows over the land. The world seemed to breathe in this tranquil moment, the rustling of leaves filling the spaces between silence, the distant calls of nocturnal creatures stirring to life. Jio had always found solace in such stillness. It was in these quiet hours that he thrived, slipping into the unseen corners of the world where no one could reach him. Solitude had been both a shield and a weapon, a constant companion in a life built on shadows.

And yet, solitude was a fleeting luxury these days because a certain combat mage was here.

Jio had never been particularly fond of company, and the arrival of Lance into his life did little to change that. Unfortunately, life had its own plans. Whether he liked it or not, the man was now his brother-in-law. At first, their relationship could be described as awkward at best, tense at worst. It wasn’t that either of them had anything against the other, not exactly. But their lives had shifted in ways neither of them had anticipated.

For Jio, it was the fact that Lance, an outsider to the world he lived in, had been sharp enough to see right through him. That had been unsettling. The moment they first met, Jio had been cloaked in illusion, his elven heritage hidden beneath a spell designed to fool even the most skilled of magic users but it hadn’t fooled Lance. The adventurer had taken one look at him, his eyes shimmering with the unmistakable glint of understanding and smirked.

“You know.” Lance had said, arms folded across his chest, “It’s a good spell. Really well-crafted but I can see right through it.”

The ninja assassin had spent years perfecting his ability to go unnoticed, had barely resisted the urge to scowl. As for the mage, he had taken this as an invitation to start asking questions.

The elf had quickly learned that Lance was persistent, annoyingly so. He was not only intrigued by Jio’s lineage but also by his profession, while the Cult of the Lady with the Red Tail was shrouded in secrecy, whispers of their existence had reached the ears of adventurers, mages and guilds alike. Assassins, criminals, ghosts in the night, call them what you will but few truly understood the reality of their work.

Lance, being the ever-diplomatic combat mage that he was, approached Jio with an odd mixture of curiosity and caution. It wasn’t that he feared him, not exactly. But as a key figure in The First Slash Clan, he knew better than to trust blindly. Their interactions had remained strained for some time, both men studying each other like opposing chess pieces. Jio, introverted and secretive, had no interest in entertaining an inquisitive brother-in-law. Lance, on the other hand, saw the elfman as an enigma, one he was determined to unravel.

Which was exactly why they were here now, sitting across from one another in the dim glow of a quiet evening, caught in an unusual yet oddly comfortable silence.

It had started as an accident. Jio had been sharpening his katana in the courtyard when Lance had strolled in, carrying a bottle of wine and two glasses as if he owned the place.

“Mind if I join you?” he’d asked, already sitting down before Jio had the chance to refuse.

Jio sighed. “You already have.”

Lance chuckled, pouring the wine. “Figured it’s about time we had a real conversation, just the two of us.”

The ninja eyed him warily. “Is that so?”

“You’re my brother-in-law. Might as well get to know each other.” Lance leaned back, swirling the wine in his glass. His gaze flickered with something unreadable, amusement layered over a deeper sense of intrigue. “How long were you going to keep pretending to be human?”

Jio exhaled sharply through his nose. So this was where they were starting.

“I don’t know what you mean.” His voice was deliberately flat, dismissive, but he knew it would do little to deter Lance.

The man merely chuckled. “Oh, come on. You really think an illusion spell would fool me? I saw through that the first time we met.” He tilted his head, watching Jio carefully, as if waiting for him to confirm it.

Jio’s grip tightened slightly on the hilt of his katana, the weight of the blade a familiar comfort. Few had ever seen through his illusions so easily, let alone with such casual certainty. It was unsettling.

The mage sensing the tension, lifted a hand in mock surrender. “Relax. I don’t have a problem with elves.” His gaze darkened slightly, his voice losing its usual teasing tone. “Just surprised, is all. Your kind is supposed to be extinct. Imagine my shock when I find out my brother-in-law is walking proof that isn’t the case.”

Jio finally turned to look at him, studying him in silence. He could see the questions forming behind Lance’s eyes, an unspoken list of inquiries waiting to be voiced. He knew this conversation wouldn’t end here.

“I assume you have a dozen questions.”

Lance’s grin was immediate, almost triumphant. “At least a dozen but I doubt you’ll answer half of them.”

“You’re right.”

Rather than deterring him, the answer only seemed to amuse Lance further. He let out a quiet laugh, shaking his head as if unsurprised. The conversation lapsed into silence, the wind carrying the distant sounds of the forest. Jio was no stranger to tense silences, the kind thick with unspoken threats, the heavy anticipation of a fight waiting to break out. But this… this wasn’t quite like that. There was curiosity, certainly, but no hostility. And for all his persistence, Lance wasn’t pressing him, wasn’t demanding answers. He was simply there, waiting. Offering conversation as an invitation rather than an order.

Jio could appreciate that.

Lance shifted, glancing at him again. “Alright, let’s start simple.” His voice was light, but there was a knowing edge to it, as if he had already anticipated Jio’s reluctance. “How did you meet Cerise?”

Jio exhaled, reluctant but not entirely unwilling to answer. It was only fair, he supposed. They were bound by their relationships to the farm sisters, whether they liked it or not.

“She wandered into Ridge Forest,” he said at last. “Too close to the barrier.”

Lance hummed thoughtfully. “And?”

Jio’s gaze flickered toward the horizon, memories surfacing unbidden.

The night air in Ridge Forest was thick with the scent of damp earth and pine, the hush of the wilderness disturbed only by the distant hoot of an owl. Jio moved soundlessly through the undergrowth, his senses sharp as he patrolled the forest’s edge. It was a quiet night, undisturbed by intruders until a flicker of movement caught his eye.

Someone was there.

A lone traveler, cloaked and hooded, moving steadily along the path. At a glance, she seemed unremarkable just another wanderer passing through the forest under the cover of night. Perhaps a lost adventurer, someone who had strayed too far from familiar roads. He had seen many like her before, drawn by the mystique of Ridge Forest without realizing its dangers.

With a quiet sigh, Jio stepped forward, letting his presence be known as he materialized before her in a blur of motion. His voice was calm, controlled. “You shouldn’t be here—!”

The dagger came fast.

Instinct flared, and Jio twisted just in time to avoid the blade as it whistled past his face, embedding itself in the bark of a tree behind him with a sharp thunk. The sheer force of the throw sent vibrations through the wood. A fraction slower and the blade would have found his skull instead.

His eyes widened slightly. Well. That would’ve been unpleasant.

Before he could react, the woman lunged.

Jio barely managed to block the incoming strike, catching her wrist before her fist could connect with his jaw. His grip tightened, and for the first time in a long while, he found himself genuinely surprised. This wasn’t a panicked traveler flailing in fear, this was an experienced fighter, attacking on pure instinct.

“Are you insane?” he snapped.

The woman halted, her posture shifting as she took in the situation. Her gaze flickered to the dagger buried deep in the tree, then back to him. With a quiet sigh, she relaxed her stance, rolling her shoulders back.

“That was a mistake.” Her voice was steady, unapologetic but not dismissive. “Didn’t expect someone to appear out of nowhere.”

Jio studied her for a moment before releasing his grip. “You nearly took my head off.” His tone was even, but there was a dry edge to it.

She huffed softly, rubbing her wrist where he had grabbed her. “If I meant to, I wouldn’t have missed.”

Jio’s expression remained unreadable, but there was a glint of something in his eyes, calculation, perhaps a hint of amusement. Now that he was this close, her hood had slipped slightly, revealing more of her face. His gaze flickered to her eyes, twilight-hued orbs with an amethyst glow, striking even in the dim moonlight. There was no hesitation in them, only sharp focus.

Long strands of beige-blond hair spilled from beneath the hood, brushing against her shoulders. She had the kind of beauty that was easy to overlook at a distance, but up close, it was impossible to ignore, the elegant lines of her face, the confidence in the way she carried herself. Something about her now felt off, as if he had gravely miscalculated her identity.

Recognition flickered in his mind. He had seen this resemblance before, faint but unmistakable.

“You must be the granddaughter.”

The woman blinked. “What?”

“The old farmer.” he clarified. “The one who passed years ago. You’re one of her granddaughters, aren’t you?”

Something unreadable passed across her face before she straightened, the tension in her shoulders still present but tempered.

“I’m Cerise.”

Jio regarded her for a long moment before giving a slight nod. “Jio.”

That night, suspicion had lingered between them like an unspoken challenge. The way she moved, the way she had thrown that dagger, it was clear she wasn’t just some ordinary farmer.

Jio exhaled, his voice barely above a murmur. “She nearly killed me.”

Lance barked out a laugh. “Sounds about right.”

Jio cast him a glare but said nothing. Silence stretched between them for a moment before he glanced at Lance. “And you? How did you meet Rosemary?”

Lance chuckled, setting his glass down. “Oh, our first meeting was… unexpected.”

Jio narrowed his eyes. “Go on.”

Lance leaned forward slightly. “I first met Rosemary at the summit of Mount Kohldur. She had just finished the climb, she looked exhausted but determined.”

The heat of the forge wrapped around Lance like an old friend, the rhythmic clang of metal against metal filling the cavernous chamber. Mount Kohldur’s peak was not for the weak, its treacherous ascent tested even the most hardened adventurers. And inside the volcano, the dangers only multiplied. Monsters lurked in the shadows, the air was thick with the scent of molten rock, and the forge itself pulsed with ancient power. But for those who made it this far, the rewards were unmatched.

Lance had spent the day deep in his craft, the magical flames casting golden light across his work. His hands moved with practiced ease, binding enchantments and forging weapons for his guildmates in The First Slash. The familiar surge of magic hummed through his fingertips as he combined an Iridium Band with a Slime Charmer Ring, the glow of the spell reflecting in his obsidian purple eyes.

He was just about to move on to his next project when the heavy gates of the forge groaned open. The sound reverberated through the chamber, followed by steady, measured footsteps.

Lance frowned. Few ever reached this place, and even fewer had the strength to push open those doors alone. He turned, expecting to see one of his guildmates or a battle-worn adventurer seeking the forge’s power.

Instead, what he saw made him pause.

A woman stood at the entrance, her silhouette framed by the golden glow of the magma pools beyond. Her breath was heavy from the climb, her rose-red hair windswept and untamed. Her clothes now dusted with soot and ash, and the edges of her short cloak were singed, faint wisps of smoke curling from the scorched threads. Her hand hovered near the weapon at her hip, her stance tense like she expected a fight at any moment.

But it wasn’t the battle-worn look that caught his attention. It was her eyes, a striking shade of ocean jade, sharp and wary, scanning the room for threats. And then, just as his gaze flickered over the soft dusting of freckles across her cheeks—

She threw a bomb at him.

Lance barely had time to react. Instinct took over as he flicked his wrist, summoning a protective barrier of shimmering blue light. The bomb struck the shield mid-air, detonating with a fiery burst. Sparks and embers scattered across the chamber, rattling the anvil behind him.

Smoke curled through the air. Silence followed. Then, from beyond the haze, a horrified voice.

“Oh my Yoba—”

Lance blinked as the woman stumbled forward, her wide eyes filled with mortification.

“I—I am so sorry!” she blurted out, hands shooting up in a panicked gesture. “I thought you were a monster! I didn’t—” She groaned, cutting herself off, visibly cringing as she realized what she had just done.

Lance exhaled, then let out a full, genuine laugh that echoed against the stone walls.

The woman froze, clearly thrown off by his reaction.

Grinning, Lance dusted soot from his cloak. “I’ve had a lot of things thrown at me in my lifetime,” he mused, his voice laced with amusement. “But I have to say, this is the first time someone’s greeted me with explosives.”

She let out a strangled groan, pressing her hands to her face. “I swear, I’m not usually this trigger-happy.”

Lance smirked, folding his arms. “No?” He arched a brow. “So, you don’t always attack strangers on sight?”

Dragging a hand down her face, she muttered, “I just—didn’t expect anyone else to be up here. I panicked, okay?”

Lance chuckled, shaking his head. “Well, I suppose I should be honored to have made such an impression.”

She mumbled something under her breath, then straightened, clearing her throat. “Right. Uh. I’m Rosemary.”

Lance’s lips quirked into a knowing smirk. “I know.” At her startled look, he inclined his head. “Marlon spoke quite highly of you, said you were quite proficient with a weapon.” His gaze flickered to the spot where the bomb had nearly incinerated him, amusement dancing in his obsidian-purple eyes. “I see now that he wasn’t exaggerating.”

Rosemary groaned, muttering something about terrible first impressions under her breath.

Lance let out a light chuckle before offering a more formal introduction. “I’m Lance, from The First Slash Clan. We’re a guild of adventurers protecting the Fern Islands.” He studied her for a moment, curiosity flickering in his expression. “Though I have to admit, I wasn’t expecting to meet you under such… explosive circumstances.”

For a moment, they stood there, the tension easing as the embers from the explosion slowly faded into the ever-burning flames of the forge.

Jio, who had been listening with his usual unreadable patience, exhaled slowly and took a deliberate sip of his wine. His forest green eyes studied Lance with a look so measured it bordered on contemplative.

“So...” he finally said, swirling the wine in his glass, “She did try to kill you.”

Lance chuckles, tilting his head slightly. “You sound almost relieved.”

Jio huffed, setting his glass down with a quiet clink. “It just confirms my expectations.” He exhaled again, this time with something dangerously close to amusement curling at the edges of his voice. “Shame. She should’ve aimed better.”

The mage only let out a low chuckle, shaking his head. “You wound me, truly.”

Jio took another sip of wine, watching him over the rim of his glass. “Did you look like a monster?”

Lance placed a hand over his heart, feigning offense. “I’d like to think I looked fairly respectable that day.”

Jio didn’t bother hiding the way his lips twitched, but he said nothing.

Lance leaned back against the wooden pillar, stretching out his legs. “Lucky for me, I immediately conjure a barrier. Introduced myself after she throw that bomb.” His smirk softened as his mind drifted back. “She was flustered, obviously. But we ended up sharing a meal. Talking. Laughing.”

Jio shook his head, muttering, “Your wife nearly blew you up.”

Lance arched a brow. “Yours nearly stabbed you through the skull.”

“Fair...”

A pause. Then for the first time all night, the silence between them wasn’t awkward. It was something else, something easier. Lance tilted his head back, gazing at the night sky. The stars stretched above them, shimmering like diamonds scattered across an endless sea of black. He exhaled slowly, then spoke again, this time without the usual teasing tone. Just honesty.

“You know… I may be nosy, but it’s not just about curiosity.” He turned his head, meeting Jio’s gaze with quiet certainty. “Cerise is important to you. Rosemary is important to me. So, like it or not… we’re family now.”

Jio studied him for a long moment, expression unreadable. Then, finally, he inclined his head slightly. “I know...”

Lance smirked, the easy confidence returning to his voice. “And since we’re family, I reserve the right to continue annoying you for the foreseeable future.”

Jio sighed, finishing the rest of his wine. “I should’ve let Cerise’s dagger hit me.”

Lance barked out a laugh, the sound rich with amusement. “Too late for regrets now, brother.”

Jio didn’t respond, but there, right at the corner of his mouth was the ghost of a amusement before he turned away and just like that, something shifted between them.

No longer just two men forced together by circumstance, but family. And despite all the chaos that came with it, perhaps that wasn’t such a bad thing after all.

As the night stretched on and the distant hum of the valley settled around them, they sat in companionable silence, bound by an unspoken understanding.

Both of them had married dangerous women and neither would have it any other way.

Summary: Cerise jumps to the worst conclusion, unleashes fury, then realizes her mistake while Jio quietly revels in the chaos.

The farmhouse stood quiet in the late afternoon glow, bathed in soft amber light. A faint breeze stirred the curtains, carrying with it the distant hum of the forest. The stillness was only broken by the slow creak of the front door as Lance pushed it open, supporting Rosemary with one arm.

“Easy...” he murmured, glancing down at her. His obsidian purple eyes softened with concern.

“Tch. I’m fine.” Rosemary grumbled, though her pale features said otherwise. One hand pressed against her side, a dark stain seeping through her shirt. Her rose-red hair, usually vibrant, clung to her cheek with sweat.

“You took a hit from Apophis. You’re not fine.” Lance’s tone left no room for argument. He tightened his hold when she stumbled. “Come on, your room’s closer. You’ll be more comfortable there.”

Rosemary scowled but didn’t protest. The journey back from the Crimson Badlands had been rough. The encounter with Apophis had left her winded, the creature’s strike tearing through her defenses and leaving a gash along her hip. If Lance hadn’t been there... she shook the thought away.

As they entered the farmhouse, Rosemary glanced around. The place was quiet. Too quiet.

“Huh. Cerise isn’t here?” she muttered, wincing as she lowered herself onto the bed in her room.

“She must’ve gone out.” Lance said, fetching a roll of bandages and a bowl of water from the washstand. “We’ll get you patched up before she’s back.”

Rosemary lay back with a groan. “Just hurry up. I want to sleep after this.”

Lance knelt beside her, his hands deft but gentle. “Try not to move. This might sting.”

Meanwhile, outside the farmhouse...

The front door clicked open. Cerise stepped inside, brushing a strand of beige blond hair from her face. Her twilight-hued eyes swept the room, noting the faint scuffs on the floor, a sign of recent arrival.

“Rosie?” she called out.

A faint voice answered from down the hall.

“Hey, Sis! I’m here! Lance’s with me!”

Cerise raised a brow, slipping off her bonnet. So they’re back. A faint smile tugged at her lips. “Lance, you staying for dinner?”

“If it’s not too much trouble, then I accept. Thank you, Cerise.” came Lance's muffled reply.

Before Cerise could respond, the door behind her creaked. She turned and her expression softened immediately.

“Jio.”

The brooding figure stepped in, his dark attire blending with the farmhouse shadows. His green eyes held their usual quiet intensity, but his expression softened when he saw her. Without a word, he closed the distance, wrapping his arms around her waist with practiced ease.

“I missed you.” he murmured, voice low and warm.

Cerise chuckled, resting a hand on his chest. “You've literally seen me four hours ago.”

“Four hours is too long.”

A rare smile played at Cerise’s lips. “You're impossible.”

“I know.”

Their quiet moment lingered until Jio glanced toward the kitchen. “Need help with dinner?”

Cerise’s expression brightened. “I’d love that.”

An Hour Later...

The scent of a warm meal filled the farmhouse. The table was set. Cerise wiped her hands on a cloth, glancing at Jio, who was placing the last dish.

“I’ll get them.” she said, moving toward Rosemary’s room.

With her usual composed demeanor, she knocked on the door, voice calm but firm.

“Rosie. Lance. Dinner’s ready. If you don’t come out now, it’s going to get cold.”

Inside, Lance’s focused voice responded, “Hold still. I know what I’m doing.”

Rosemary’s sharp retort followed, “Easy for you to say! Just hurry up and finish already!”

Cerise paused. What?

Her brows furrowed as she leaned in.

“Ah—OW! Lance, gentle!”

“You could have told me it hurt there. I’m not a mind reader.”

Cerise’s eyes narrowed, suspicion prickling at the edges of her calm.

...The hell?

“I’ll do it myself!”, Rosemary snapped.

“Absolutely not." Lance said firmly. “You’ll mess it up. Lie down.”

Cerise froze. Her expression darkened.

Lie down?

“I still want to breathe when you’re done!” Rosemary growled.

“Relax. I’ve done this plenty of times. Trust me.” Lance’s teasing tone followed.

Cerise’s entire body stiffened.

“…What the actual—”

“Move your legs to the side. It’s hard to reach from this angle.” Lance murmured.

“Ugh… Fine. Just get in between—”

BAM!

The door SLAMMED open.

Cerise stood there, deadly aura radiating from her, twilight eyes sharp as blades.

“WHAT. THE. HELL. ARE YOU DOING TO MY SISTER, YOU—”

The room fell silent.

Lance blinked, still holding a roll of bandages. Rosemary sat on the bed, skirt slightly lifted to reveal the fresh bandage along her injured hip.

“…Cerise?”, Lance said slowly.

Rosemary tilted her head, confusion written all over her face. “Sis? Uh… you good?”

Cerise’s expression shifted from cold fury to blank realization. A faint blush touched her cheeks.

“…Oh.”

Without another word, she shut the door with a swift snap.

“Never mind. Dinner’s ready. Be out in five.”

Back in the Kitchen...

Jio glanced up from the plates, eyes narrowing slightly. “Everything alright?”

Cerise, face a mask of calm composure, poured herself tea. “Nope.”

Jio studied her for a moment. The corners of his mouth twitched. “You thought they were...?”

“Don’t.” Cerise’s voice remained flat, but the faintest flush on her cheeks betrayed her.

Jio let out a low chuckle. “You’re more overprotective than I thought.”

“Shut up.”

Meanwhile, in Rosemary’s Room...

Rosemary stared at the closed door. “What the hell was that about?”

Lance secured the final knot in the bandage, glancing at her with a teasing smile.

“Maybe she thought you were dying in here with all that noise.”

Rosemary groaned, flopping back onto the bed. “More like she thought you were killing me.”

Lance chuckled, brushing the strands from her face. “Her overprotectiveness is admirable. But I’ll have to work harder to prove I can handle you properly.”

Rosemary glared at him, cheeks flushing.

“Tch. Shut up.”

Later That Evening...

The air in the farmhouse kitchen had settled into a calm warmth as dinner finally commenced. The aroma of Cerise’s cooking filled the room, and soft clinks of cutlery echoed against the wooden walls. Rosemary sat at the table, pale but composed, her side wrapped in fresh bandages. Lance sat beside her, his movements calm and measured, occasionally glancing at her with quiet concern.

Cerise sat opposite them, maintaining her usual composed expression, though her eyes flicked to Lance every now and then—narrow, warning. Lance, for his part, met those looks with a steady gaze, though the tension in his shoulders suggested he felt the weight behind them.

Jio sat next to Cerise, his posture relaxed, arms folded across his chest as he watched the others eat. Every so often, he would glance at Cerise, a faint smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. The memory of what he’d overheard from the hallway still lingered.

Cerise, however, kept her face stoic. She reached for her cup of tea, raising it with practiced calm.

But then, Jio leaned closer, lowering his voice so only Cerise could hear, his smirk deepening.

“Quite the scene you made earlier.”

Cerise froze, the cup halting just before her lips. Slowly, she turned her head, her twilight-hued eyes narrowing with a sharp glint.

Jio’s shoulders trembled slightly—slightly—as if he were struggling to contain his amusement.

And that was all it took.

Jio stiffened, the smirk faltering as sharp pain flared in his thigh. Cerise’s hand, deceptively delicate in appearance, had clamped down with surprising strength beneath the table. Her nails pressed just enough to make her point without drawing attention.

Jio inhaled sharply through his nose, glancing down before giving Cerise a sideways look. But she only sipped her tea with perfect composure, not even glancing in his direction.

Lance and Rosemary continued eating in silence, pretending not to notice the exchange.

Jio exhaled a slow breath, a begrudging chuckle escaping. “Noted.”

The moment passed, leaving the room quiet again—at least for a while.

Then Cerise lowered her cup, eyes sharpening as she turned her gaze toward Rosemary.

“Now then.” she began, her tone calm but carrying an unmistakable edge. “Mind explaining to me why you’re injured, Rose?”

Rosemary, who had been focused on her food, stiffened.

“Uh...", She glanced at Lance briefly, hoping for some backup, but when she noticed the pointed stare Cerise was giving her, a bead of sweat rolled down her temple.

“Well, you see—”

“Rosemary.” Cerise’s voice dropped a note lower.

Rosemary groaned, slumping forward slightly but straightening up when she realized Cerise’s glare was only intensifying.

“Okay, okay! We had a little run-in with Apophis. It wasn’t a big deal—”

“Not a big deal?” Cerise repeated slowly, her eyes narrowing further.

Rosemary laughed nervously, scratching the back of her head. “I mean... it could’ve been worse?”

Cerise didn’t respond immediately. Instead, her sharp gaze shifted to Lance.

Lance, who had been quietly eating, paused mid-bite. He lowered his fork with deliberate care, meeting Cerise’s gaze head-on.

The room grew still.

Cerise’s look wasn’t just one of inquiry—it was a silent reminder, one that said: You were there. You let this happen. Explain.

Lance held her gaze for a moment longer before exhaling softly.

“The beast caught us by surprise. Rosemary fought well, but the wound wasn’t something we could avoid. I took care of it.”

Cerise’s eyes narrowed further, studying his expression for any sign of hesitation. Lance didn’t flinch.

After a long pause, Cerise leaned back in her chair.

“Hmph. I see.”

But the intensity of her gaze didn’t waver.

Rosemary, still pale, glanced between the two of them, feeling the tension rising again.

“Uh—C’mon, Sis. It’s not like Lance wanted me to get hurt.”

Cerise gave a slow blink, gaze lingering on Lance for a few seconds longer before finally shifting back to Rosemary.

“...Fine. But next time, be more careful.”

Rosemary sighed in relief. “Yeah, yeah. Got it.”

Jio, watching the whole exchange with mild amusement, glanced sideways at Cerise. The faintest trace of a smile lingered on his lips.

Cerise caught the look and, without missing a beat, gave him a subtle side-eye warning.

Jio chuckled under his breath.

The conversation shifted back to lighter topics, but an unspoken tension lingered. Cerise’s sharp gaze had delivered its message clearly—she would always be watching.

Lance returned to his meal in silence, his hand brushing lightly against Rosemary’s, a silent promise that next time, he would be ready.

A/N: After reading @studentinpursuitofclouds headcanon about the bachelors/ettes' reactions to being kidnapped for revenge or ransom only for their furious Farmer spouse to storm in and rescue them. I felt inspired. I couldn’t help but write a version for Lance, blending it with my farmer OCs' backstories. Hope you enjoy the fic!

The moon loomed high over the farmhouse, casting its pale, silver glow across the quiet fields. The night was still, almost unnervingly so, with only the soft rustle of leaves stirred by a gentle breeze. The greenhouse stood as a lone beacon in the darkness, its glass panels faintly aglow, sheltering a world of warmth and life separate from the cool hush outside. Inside, Rosemary moved among rows of flourishing crops, the earthy scent of soil and faint hum of lingering magic surrounding her. Yet, despite the comforting atmosphere, a knot of unease twisted tightly in her chest.

Lance should be home by now.

He had left at dawn, that familiar confident grin on his face, promising—promising—to return before sunset. She had believed him. Lance always kept his word. But now, as the hours stretched long past nightfall, the promise felt like a fading echo.

A message had come earlier, brief and reassuring. But Rosemary’s instincts screamed otherwise. She brushed her gloved fingers over the rough skin of a void root. The dark, twisted form seemed to absorb the soft light, pulsing faintly with ancient magic. She tried to focus on the task at hand—on the routine—but her thoughts kept circling back to one question.

Why isn’t he back?

Her pruning slowed. Water dripped from a nearby watering can. The silence grew thick.

Then it happened.

A chill—sharp and sudden—sliced down her spine.

Her breath hitched.

Her gloved hand froze mid-motion.

It wasn’t a sound. Not a shadow shifting in the corner of her vision. No. This was deeper. Internal. Like something inside her had snapped.

No...

The comforting aura of Lance’s magic, ever-present beside her own like a steady heartbeat—had vanished.

Gone.

Her pulse thundered in her ears.

“No.”

The word escaped her lips in a broken whisper. The trowel slipped from her hand, clattering against the stone path. A ragged cry tore from her throat as she stumbled back. Her gaze snapped toward the hills beyond the farmhouse. She reached inward—desperately—trying to find the familiar pulse of his magic.

There. Faint. So faint.

But still there.

A gasp tore from her.

Lance...

Alive. Barely conscious. But alive. Reaching for her.

Her hands fumbled for her phone. The screen blurred before her eyes as her fingers darted across it, moving faster than her mind could process. Only one number mattered.

The line rang once. Twice.

“Rosie?”, Her sister’s voice answered calm as ever, but edged with concern. “What’s wrong?”

“Cerise!!! I can’t feel him.” Rosemary’s voice cracked. “His magic! it’s gone—I don’t know what’s happening, what does it mean?”

Silence.

A silence that stretched for only a moment but felt like a lifetime.

When Cerise finally spoke, her tone had shifted, cool, sharp, edged with something Rosemary rarely heard from her sister: fear.

“No… they wouldn’t.” The words came as a whisper. Then, sharper, cold with realization: “Stay where you are. I’ll be there soon.”

Rosemary’s grip tightened around the phone.

“They must've took him.”

The words hung heavy in the air.

“They took my husband.”

This time, her voice was low, dangerous, a quiet fury simmering beneath each syllable.

Cerise inhaled sharply on the other end of the line. “Most likely. If they couldn’t get my Jio, their next move would be—”

“I’m going.”

“Rose—”

“I’m not waiting around, sister.” Rosemary’s jaw tightened. Her ocean jade eyes—usually bright and warm—narrowed into cold flames of determination. “I’m getting my husband back. Whatever it takes.”

”Rosemary, wait—”

But the call had already ended.

Without hesitation, Rosemary snatched up her sword from the greenhouse floor. The blade thrummed with her magic, responding to her rage. She pulled on her dark cloak, fastened the clasp at her neck, and slung a pouch of potions over her shoulder.

She stepped out into the night.

She didn’t need a plan.

Only a direction.

Lance’s faint magic—like a whisper at the edge of her mind—would guide her.

“Hold on, love” she whispered, her voice trembling. “I’m coming.”

And nothing would stand in her way.

The room reeked of damp stone and stale air, a subterranean prison swallowed by oppressive darkness. The narrow space was barely lit by a flickering lantern that hung from a rusted chain in the corner, its dim glow casting trembling shadows across the concrete walls slick with condensation. The ceiling sagged low, pressing down like a weight upon the soul. The air itself was suffocating, thick with the scent of mold and the faint, undeniable metallic tang of old blood. A chill seeped from the stone floor, gnawing at the skin, while the silence—broken only by the rhythmic drip of water echoing from some distant corridor—felt almost unnatural. But worse than the cold or the damp was the lingering, suffocating aura of magic that clung to every surface, woven into the very air. It was a cruel enchantment, designed to sap strength, to suppress power. And it was working.

Lance shifted in the chair he had been bound to, the rough rope digging into his wrists. His head hung low, dark pink hair falling messily into his face. A dull ache throbbed behind his eyes, sharp and insistent, growing worse with each breath drawn in the magic-saturated air. His eyes flickered open with slow, deliberate effort. His arms ached from the tight restraints that hummed faintly with the same suppressive power in the room. Even the smallest attempt to draw upon his magic was met with resistance, a suffocating weight that dulled the spark he relied on.

A breath slipped from his lips—slow, frustrated, bitter.

The Second-in-Command of the First Slash Clan, renowned combat mage, captured.

Not by a rival clan worthy of his strength. Not in battle against some formidable foe.

No, by a group of low-ranking mafia thugs who had no comprehension of the power they were trifling with.

The humiliation stung, but it wasn’t the real issue gnawing at him. His pride could endure this. What he could not endure was the knowledge he had failed. Failed to see the ambush coming. Failed to protect what mattered most. With all his training, all his magical prowess, he should have burned through these restraints with a flick of his wrist. But this room—the entire place—reeked of the kind of magic meant to weaken him, suppress him, render him vulnerable.

Still, it wasn’t his own fate that consumed his thoughts.

It was hers.

The realization cut deeper than any blade.

They weren’t after him.

They were after Rosemary.

He had heard them, muffled voices beyond the door, carelessly assuming he was too weak, too broken to care. But he had listened. Every word. Every plan. The truth had struck him harder than any blow. They believed that taking him would draw her out. They thought Rosemary would come running, desperate and vulnerable—a perfect trap.

But they didn’t know her.

They didn’t know Rosemary.

She wasn’t some fragile woman to be lured like a helpless bird. She had Cerise’s blood in her veins—the blood of the Crimson Wraith.

And worse still, they didn’t simply want to use her as bait. No. Their plan was far more twisted. They wanted her alive. They wanted to mold her into a weapon—a new puppet assassin forged from the only sister of the Crimson Wraith.

The thought made Lance’s jaw tighten, his fingers twitching against the ropes. His entire being recoiled at the idea of anyone laying a hand on her. His Rosemary. His wife. The woman who had fought for her freedom, who had lived in the shadow of her sister’s bloody past but had never allowed it to define her. They thought they could twist her into something she wasn’t.

The audacity.

The rage brewed quietly beneath his composed exterior, his magic stirring despite the oppressive weight. He would burn this place to ash for even daring to think of touching her.

The door creaked open.

Rusty hinges groaned like a dying animal, breaking the stillness.

Lance lifted his head, eyes narrowing as two figures stepped into the dim light. One was tall, broad-shouldered, with a jagged scar slashing across his cheek—a permanent sneer carved into his skin. The other remained near the door, arms crossed, eyes dull with boredom.

The scarred man grinned, a slow, mocking curve of his lips.

“You know.” he drawled, stepping forward with deliberate slowness. “None of this would’ve happened if you hadn’t married that red-haired bitch. We didn’t want you. You were never the target.”

He crouched, bringing his face close enough that Lance could smell the foul mix of tobacco and cheap liquor on his breath.

“We wanted her sister. Cerise. She was... valuable to us. But she escaped. Left everything behind, dragging her little sister along like a coward.”

His grin widened, malicious satisfaction gleaming in his eyes.

“But now? We have something better. You see, we realized something. What better way to replace the Crimson Wraith than with her own blood? We’ll take your precious wife, and turn her into the perfect weapon. Our new puppet.”

The words echoed in the damp room.

Lance didn’t move. His expression didn’t change. His face remained calm, far too calm.

But inside?

How dare you.

The air shifted.

Even bound and suppressed, his magic stirred, a quiet storm gathering, waiting. The ropes bit into his wrists, but they were nothing more than an inconvenience. He would burn this entire place to the ground before he let them touch her.

And then—

Footsteps.

At first faint, almost mistaken for an echo. But then louder. Steady. Unyielding.

The two mafia members stiffened. Their smug confidence faltered.

The pressure in the air built, thick and suffocating. The flickering lantern dimmed, shadows crawling further along the walls. The footsteps didn’t slow.

They grew louder. Closer.

And then—

The door exploded inward.

Wood shattered into splinters. The force of the blast sent fragments clattering across the stone floor. The oppressive magic that had choked the room recoiled instantly. For a moment, the air itself seemed to fear the figure standing in the doorway.

Rosemary stood there—fury incarnate.

Her rose-red hair blazed in the dim light, cascading behind her like a river of flame. Ocean jade eyes burned with unrelenting rage and fear, swirling with power she no longer cared to conceal. The aura surrounding her crackled with raw magic—a tempest on the brink of being unleashed.

“Where...”, she whispered, her voice low, trembling with restrained wrath, “Is my husband?”

The scarred man stumbled back. “Oh shit-!” he muttered in disbelief, glancing at his companion.

But the moment he moved—

Rosemary vanished.

A flash of purple swept through the air. Her blade glinted once, a crescent of death cutting through the dim light. With a scream, the scarred man flew backward, crashing into the far wall with a sickening crunch. The second man barely had time to react before Rosemary descended on him with relentless precision. Her strikes were merciless—graceful yet devastating. Every movement spoke of years of training, of lessons carved into muscle and bone.

They had expected a weak sister.

They received a force of nature.

The second man crumpled to the floor without a sound.

Silence fell.

Lance remained still, his gaze fixed on the woman who had torn apart his captors without hesitation. His heart thundered in his chest—not out of fear, but awe. She had come for him. She had shattered their illusions. She was magnificent.

Rosemary turned.

Her gaze softened the moment it met his. The fury faded, replaced by something far deeper—fear, worry, desperation.

“Lance.”

Her voice broke.

In two strides, she was beside him, dropping to her knees. Her hands reached for his face first, trembling as they brushed against his skin, as if afraid he would vanish.

“Are you—did they—?” Her voice cracked, unable to form the question.

“I’m fine.” His voice was soft but firm, though his smile faded when he saw the tears shining in her eyes.

“No, you’re not.” She gritted her teeth, glancing at the glowing restraints. Without hesitation, her fingers tightened around the ropes. Magic pulsed through her veins, rushing to her hands.

The ropes hissed.

With a surge of power and a cry laced with all the fear and rage she had suppressed, Rosemary ripped them apart. The restraints shattered into ash beneath her touch.

Lance didn’t move. He simply watched her—watched as she clung to him, as her shoulders shook.

“I thought—” she choked out, “I thought I was too late.”

Gently, Lance wrapped his arms around her.

“You weren’t.”

She buried her face in his chest. “I would have destroyed this whole place if they’d laid a hand on you.”

“I know.” He pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “You were perfect.”

“No.” She pulled back slightly, her ocean jade eyes locking onto his, fierce even through the tears. “Not perfect. Just in time.”

And when Lance leaned forward to press his lips to hers, tender lingering. It wasn’t simply relief that filled the space between them.

It was a promise.

A promise that no matter who came for them next, no matter what shadows lurked in the past, they would face them—together.

Me: *spots a ridiculously hot elf man* Ooooh, a new NPC to add to my collection.

Brain: *sighs* You do realize this means making another farmer OC, right?

Me: *eyes sparkling* I don’t care. He’s so hot. Like Jio with tattoos. Approachable, mysterious, and an elf who seems like he’d hold a conversation instead of just brooding. But hey- Jio’s still my ultimate elf man. Loyalty matters. This guy’s just... bonus content.

Brain: Ma’am. You already have six farmer OCs. SIX. It took you an hour to make your last one just because you wanted to romance that gridball player for that immersive mod!

Me: *shrugs* Yeah, but I haven’t made a farmer with jet black hair or brunette yet.

Brain: And you’re forgetting you’ve got perfectly good farmer designs reserved for a certain mean cold adventurer.

Me: *glaring* Shut. Up. I’m taking this elf man.

Brain: *deadpan* You should really download that Free Love mod.

Me: *thinks* Nah, I’m a one-romance-at-a-time kind of player.

Brain: Uh-huh. You do realize you’re about to create a whole new OC backstory, right?

Me: *staring into the distance, deep in thought* Shuuush... already thinking of a new farmer design.

Brain: Unbelievable. Truly, unbelievable.

Tohtalem OC: Progress!

I finally got our Elf to load in game with a custom map/location and a couple of events! My friend and I will be filling in more dialogue and events over the next few weeks, I'm just so happy the base character is done!!

First week, no-heart dialogue

When you think you've finally settled on the NPC you want to marry, but then you meet another interesting character and suddenly want to pursue them too. You’re curious about their story, but your heart won’t let you divorce your current spouse—so you start a new save file. Then another. Each one with a different farmer OC, each with their own love interest and story. Before you know it, you've built an entire farming game world where your OCs coexist. And now, every time you find another NPC attractive, you have to create yet another OC, complete with a backstory, personality, and design… until it becomes a full-blown creative headache. 😵

𝙼𝚊𝚢𝚘 𝙼𝚊𝚍𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚜

[This is a continuation for "Riddle Me This".]

Aleia: *crossing her arms and sitting back down on the couch with a huff* Anyway, speaking of mayo… I still don’t get why you refuse to acknowledge it as a good beverage.

Sebastian: *pauses mid-smirk, his grin fading as he stares at her, incredulous* You’re kidding me. We’re back to this?

Aleia: *nodding enthusiastically, leaning forward as if she’s about to give the speech of a lifetime* Listen, it’s creamy, it’s versatile, it has eggs for protein, and oil for energy! It’s basically a smoothie!

Sebastian: *groans loudly, dragging a hand down his face* Oh my gawd, please don’t call mayonnaise a smoothie.

Aleia: *completely ignoring him, gesturing animatedly* Think about it! If you mix it with a little lemon juice and maybe some herbs, boom! Gourmet drink! It could even be a café special, like 'Aleia’s Creamy Mayo Delight.'

Sebastian: *staring at her in sheer disbelief, slowly lowering himself into the chair, his head in his hands* Here we go again…

Aleia: *grinning now, clearly enjoying his misery* I mean, you’ve got people out there drinking celery juice and kale smoothies, but mayo gets slandered? Where’s the justice in that?

Sebastian: *looking up at her, deadpan* The justice is in basic human decency, Aleia. You can’t just go around advocating for mayonnaise as a drink. That’s not a personality trait; it’s a cry for help.

Aleia: *gasping dramatically, clutching her chest* A cry for help?! Wow, Sebby. That’s rich coming from someone who survives off coffee and instant noodles.

Sebastian: *crossing his arms, raising an eyebrow* Says the woman who drinks coffee like its water but coffee is a respectable beverage. Mayonnaise is... mayonnaise. It’s not even in the same league.

Aleia: *leaning forward, eyes glinting mischievously* Alright then, Mr. Respectable Beverage. How about a challenge? You try drinking mayo for a day, and I’ll-!

Sebastian: *cutting her off, holding up a hand* Absolutely not. I’d rather code for 24 hours straight than suffer through that nightmare.

Aleia: *pouting dramatically* Sebaaaastian, you’re no fun!

Sebastian: *smirking slightly, shaking his head* No, I’m just sane. There’s a difference.

Aleia: *grinning triumphantly* Fine. But one day, when mayo smoothies take the world by storm, you’ll be the one begging for forgiveness.

Sebastian: *snorts, leaning back in his chair* Yeah, sure. And when that happens, I’ll start calling you 'Chef Aleia, the Mayo Queen.'

Aleia: *smirking back, throwing another pillow at him* Deal! But don’t forget. Mayo is the future!

Sebastian: *catching the pillow and shaking his head, chuckling softly* And yet, somehow, I still love you.

Aleia: *grinning proudly* Of course you do. I’m adorable and revolutionary.

Sebastian: *sighing, resting his head in his hand* Adorable, yes. Revolutionary? Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, sweetheart.

Aleia: *laughing* Mark my words, Sebby. Mayo. Smoothies. 2030. You’ll see."

Sebastian: *leaning back, groaning dramatically* Someone save me before this actually happens.

𝚁𝚒𝚍𝚍𝚕𝚎 𝙼𝚎 𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚜

[Farmer Aleia is lounging on the couch, flipping through a book while Sebastian is at his computer, typing away. The mood is casual, and the two are enjoying their time together.]

Aleia: *suddenly perks up, grinning mischievously* Hey! Sebby! I've got a riddle for you!

Sebastian: *still typing, without looking up* This better not be like that time you tried to convince me that mayonnaise counts as a drinkable snack.

Aleia: *waves him off dramatically* Hah! I stand by that statement! Mayonnaise is versatile, and you're just close-minded. But no, this one's different. Listen up!

Sebastian: *leans back in his chair, spinning slightly to look at her, raising an eyebrow* Fine. Hit me with your best shot.

Aleia: *grinning smugly* Okay. "You feel good when you stick something in it. You feel happy when you shake it. But you feel sad when you take something out of it. Now, what am I?"

Sebastian: *pauses, staring at her blankly before a slow smirk creeps onto his face* Oh

[Sebastian gets up, crossing the room slowly. Aleia's smug grin falters slightly as he approaches and stops in front of her. He leans down, placing his hands on either side of her on the couch, effectively pinning her in place.]

Sebastian: *in a low, teasing tone* Sweetheart, If you wanted to have sex, you could've just asked instead of hiding it behind riddles.

Aleia: *face turning crimson, flustered* AH!No! That's not! It's a piggy bank!

Sebastian: *blinks in surprise, then bursts out laughing* Piggy bank? Really?

Aleia: *starts giggling uncontrollably* YES! Admit it, I got you!

Sebastian: *still laughing, straightens up and crosses his arms* Alright, alright. Fine. But now it's my turn.

Aleia: *playfully narrows her eyes* Bring it on!

Sebastian: *grins wickedly, leaning slightly closer* Okay. "What's long, hard, and stiff, gets used inside a warm, wet place, and works best when you move it back and forth?"

Aleia: *bursts out laughing, pointing at him* HA! Easy. It's a toothbrush!"

Sebastian: *suddenly crouches in front of her, gently takes her hand, and smirks devilishly, his voice dropping* Wrong answer, love?

Aleia: *blinking rapidly, her blush returning* E-Eh?! Wait, what-?

[Before she can react, she grabs the nearest object, a pillow, and throws it directly at his face. Sebastian catches it effortlessly, laughing as Aleia scrambles to her feet in a mix of embarrassment.]

Aleia: Sebastian! You're the worst!

Sebastian: *grinning, tossing the pillow back at her* And yet, you still love me.

Aleia: *trying to suppress a smile, but failing* Yeah, yeah. Don't push your luck, emo boy.

Sebastian: *leaning back smugly* Admit it, though. I make this relationship very exciting.

Aleia: *rolling her eyes but smiling anyway* Exciting isn't the word I'd use... but fine. You win this round.

Sebastian: *winks* Always do, sweetheart.

I don't know if I'm being late to notice this in the new update. When I had my farmer attend the Luau Festival on the beach, I couldn't help but notice that everything looked different. The NPC's have changed their spots, and the Luau Potluck has switched places with the dance floor. Though it took me some time to notice the change, I have to admit that I really like the new arrangement! 😮✨🏖️🍲

YEEEESSSSHHH!!! SOOOO EXCITED FOR THIS MOD!!! 😍✨ Now I'm gonna need to make a new farmer OC to be Alex's love interest and add to my savefile aka my SDV world.

*cough* Saaay Maggs, just curious soo how many spicy stuffs did you add to your Alex Immersive Mod?

Immersive Alex Update

Alex's marriage dialogue is about 2/3 done, then I have the Good Morning event lines to write, and we're nearly there!

I'll be drawing his listing image this weekend... Urgh... *teeth clenched* we can do this, it will be fine! (art is hard!!!)

Shooting for Jan 31 release barring any sudden hangups ~

Note: Dusty will be included in events on release (with a custom sprite), he will not be at the farm just yet, he might be part of the future Spouse Buildings mod

As far as I remember, in the Stardew Valley Expanded mod, the area located in the backwoods serves as the entrance to the 'Enchanted Grove' or 'Nexus.' Maybe its preventing you to add another area because that area is reserved for that area in SVE, if you download the mod. Hope you find a way to have that skatepark stays in the next update! Ngl I like the design and I hope my farmer can also interact with it. ✨

After days of careful planning and construction, with the assistance of Robin, Yvonne successfully completed building the skatepark that Sam has always dreamt of. While initially created to fulfill her husband's dream, this project ended up being a valuable asset for the town, where children can experience fun and exploration while adding a new structure to Pelican Town.

(P.S. Thanks Maggs, for helping me trigger this cutscene. 😭😍)

Mod:"Maggs Immersive Sam Romance Dialogue and Events (x)Spicy or Sweet 1.6" by @maggplays

After days of careful planning and construction, with the assistance of Robin, Yvonne successfully completed building the skatepark that Sam has always dreamt of. While initially created to fulfill her husband's dream, this project ended up being a valuable asset for the town, where children can experience fun and exploration while adding a new structure to Pelican Town.

(P.S. Thanks Maggs, for helping me trigger this cutscene. 😭😍)

Mod:"Maggs Immersive Sam Romance Dialogue and Events (x)Spicy or Sweet 1.6" by @maggplays

Farmer: *can't find Sebastian in town*

Farmer: Dammit! I can't find him anywhere. This calls for drastic measures.

Farmer: *inhales and uses hand as a microphone* THE FARMER SUCKS!!!

Sebastian: *comes out from his room basement* THE FUCK-

Shane: *across JojaMart Bldg* DID YOU-

Sam: *crashes through the window using his skateboard* JUST-

Other Marriage Candidates: SAY!

Farmer: Eeek, that worked a little too well...

Other Townspeople: *others find this amusing, annoying or secretly recording the scene from the start and post it on their social media*

I like the read the marriage/general dialouge of the stardew valley bachelors and Bachelorettes, INCLUDING the mod bachelor/ettes which also has the dialouge for them on the fandom wiki page. (Like ridgeside for example) However, for east scarp, some character's wiki pages are not updated (I'm generally talking about the mod 'Always Raining in the Valley') and I rlly want to read those (*ahem* Sterling's) dialouges so I can giggle and kick my feet 😔😔

(Some ridgeside characters wiki also need to be updated😪)

PLEASE UPDATE IT😭

My take on Shane during Emily’s 8 heart cutscene.

MY FAVORITE STARDEW VALLEY FICS — PART 1

NOTES: This is part 1 of what I’m sure will be a lot more lists of my favorites! Some of these fics have been included in my monthly recommendations. I’m literally always reading something if I’m not actually playing the game. But how do I tell people that I am an avid reader, just not in the traditional sense?

WILTING — devastating

[Sam/Sebastian, Angst, Mental Health Issues, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Breaking Up & Making Up, Hopeful Ending]

Sam breaks up with Sebastian, he tells himself that this is the healthiest thing that he could do for the two of them. He tells himself that he’s okay with the new life he’s built for himself. He tells himself a million and one things and yet he can’t make himself believe his own lies.

FULL HOMO + LIGHT ME UP SERIES — lily_alphonse, @lily-alphonse

[Sam/Sebastian, Smut, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, Mutual Pining]

Sam and Sebastian's friendship is the most important thing in the world to them. For years they've skated this line, neither willing to ruin what they have in case the other doesn't feel the same.

LOVE FROM THE OTHER SIDE — changeishard, @changeishard

[Elliott/Penny, Angst, Fluff, Smut, Romance, AU - Gods and Goddesses, Inspired by Ancient Greek Religion & Lore]

Sam was desperate. He knew his band, Goblin Destroyer, was good, but they haven't been able to get it off the ground yet. They had quit their day jobs to focus on this, and Sam felt like it was his responsibility to make them famous. So he would make a deal. He could part with his soul. It wasn't a huge price to pay for their success. Sam deserved it. Seb and Abby deserved it, too. But the devil wasn't interested in his soul. He wanted Sam's wife. Or, an AU where Elliott is a God who takes Penny to his realm as part of Sam's bargain.

YOU REALLY GOT ME — softwisp, @realmalewife

[Sam/Sebastian, Friends to Lovers, Masturbation, Drug Use, Anal Sex, Voice Actor Sebastian]

Sam has started losing his mind recently. He can’t tell what exactly it is, the shift in weather.. the time of year. Even the slightest breeze sets his skin aflame. It has nothing to do with his best friend. Even if his dark eyes and plump lips swarm his thoughts and dreams. He’s been lying awake at night, in a cold sweat, unable to sleep. His days start to blur together, he’s not acting like himself. He doesn’t know what he’s doing. He needs to fix it. Maybe something online can help?

KENT HELP FALLING IN LOVE WITH YOU — insominia

[Kent/Female Player, Cheating, Infidelity, Unhappy Marriage, Hurt/Comfort, Smut, Fluff, Secret Relationship, Slow Burn]

When Kent returns from the war, a different man from the one who went out, he doesn't expect his life to turn upside down upon meeting the valley's new resident and farmer, Reyna.

SOMETIMES, LOVE CALLS TWICE (SERIES) — raewrotethat

[Elliott/Sam/Sebastian, Smut, Threesome, Fluff, Polyamory, Daddy Kink, Love Confessions, Porn With Feelings, Idiots in love]

The three of them attempt to have sex without feelings. They are very unsuccessful.

IN YOUR EYES — Mouse_213, @the-mouse-wife

[Sam/Sebastian, Enemies to Lovers, Sex Worker Sebastian, Slow Burn, Hurt/Comfort, Dom/Sub, Kinky, Porn With Feelings]

Sebastian is a spiky, cold loner who dislikes 99% of the people he meets. With the exception of his best friend Abigail, Seb doesn’t seem to care much at all about his peers. Distracting himself from his angst, Seb throws all of his energy into his secret job as a cam model, where he can find the praise and encouragement he needs from anonymous subscribers on the internet to keep him going. But it’s getting difficult to fight the burnout from working so much, and Seb is getting tired. To make matters worse, Abigail’s been hanging out with the one person Seb hates the most- the warm, talkative, and brash Sam.

CONTRAST & COLOR — Mouse_213, @the-mouse-wife

[Sam/Sebastian, Enemies to Lovers, Slow Burn, Fluff, Smut, Angst, AU - College/University, Drug Abuse, Toxic Relationships]

Seb is a moody painting major whose only interest, besides art and hanging out with his favorite lesbian Leah, is finding new and interesting ways to escape sobriety. Sam is a cheerful photography major whose chatty demeanor has earned him many friends, through the years, and even more people who try to take advantage of his kindness. ...And they were roommates!

FIRE WALK WITH ME + OBSIDIAN AND RUBY (SERIES) — HibiscusTea9, @hibiscustea9

[Elliott/Sebastian, Romance, Slow Burn, Smut, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Coming Out, Murder Mystery]

On a cold, rainy night in early spring, two lost souls accidentally touch. What happens next is something neither expected.

MORE, ENOUGH — kinkratonthestreets

[Sam/Sebastian, Domestic Fluff, Smut, Angst, Established Relationship, Weight Gain, Feedism, Belly Kink, Body Worship, Past Suicide Attempt]

Married life has been treating Sam and Sebastian well: they’re settling into the city, their careers are growing, and Sam’s made a lot of progress learning to cook real food for the two of them (as Sebastian can attest). They’ve got a good thing going. But when Sam gets back from going on tour, Sebastian’s looking exhausted and run-down, and Sam can tell he’s lost weight. What if he’s getting bad again?

IF I FELL — darningdreams

[Elliott/Sebastian, Future Fic, Angst, Slice of Life, Awkward Romance, Family Fluff, Happy Ending]

Ten years ago, someone came to fix up the old farm outside Pelican Town. She ran around handing out presents, attending festivals, and flirting with whomever seemed interested… which was most decidedly not Sebastian. He had Sam, after all, and the perfect pairing of sun and moon moved to Zuzu City not long after the farmer married the eccentric writer who lived on the beach. Now, Sebastian is making ends meet working at a coffee shop near the university district, thoroughly jaded by life and love. He only goes home for holidays when he knows Maru and his ex aren’t going to be there. The old farm sits empty again, re-abandoned after a few years. Sometimes he wonders what happened to the family that formed there as he drives back to his depressingly tiny apartment in Zuzu City. He never expected he’d actually find out, or find himself falling in love again.

NOTES, BOOKS, AND NOTESBOOKS — WingsofFae

[Harvey/Elliott, Romance, Pining, Poetry]

In which two grown-ass men fangirl for each other.

PAST REGRETS — WingsofFae

[Harvey/Elliott, Romance, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Picnics, Stars, Maru is a plot device]

Harvey is doing his best to be a professional, respectable adult. But hey, what can you do? Some men are too pretty to forget.

DOWN, BOY — beastinabasket, @duncanlesbianism

[Elliott/Female Reader, Smut, Light BDSM, Femdom, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Praise Kink, Submissive Top Elliott]

Whenever Elliott's day had been particularly hard, he unknowingly turned into a sad puppy.

LOUD AND PROUD IN YOUR DIRECTION — DakiWaaban

[Sam/Sebastian, Smut, Friends to Lovers, Rough Sex, Mild Cuckolding, Dirty Talk, Dacryphilia]

“Did you…did you really get hard from that?” “Yeah,” Sam says again, somehow even quieter. “Take your pants off.”

POMOGRANATE WINE AND RECYCLED FISHING LINE — Anonymous

[Elliott/Female Reader, Non-Sexual Submission, Light Bondage, Non-Sexual Kink, Soft Dom Elliott]

After they barely make it home from the mines, Elliott soft-doms the farmer into getting more than four hours of sleep.

CLOSE CALL AND CLOSER COMFORTS — SFDoll

[Sam/Female Reader, Hurt Comfort, Angst, Romance, Family Drama, Bathing/Washing, Dom/Sub Undertones, Cockwarming]

After the farmer nearly dies in the Skull Caverns, the farmer and Sam deal with the emotional and physical fallout of that night. Turns out they both need a little comfort and intimacy.

HOT COCOA — Spot_Stan

[Shane/AFAB Reader, Hurt Comfort, Angst, Romance, Injury Recovery, Frostbite, Unplanned Pregnancy, Pregnant Sex, Belly Kink, Breeding Kink]

One sleepless night, Shane goes for a walk in the heavy snow, and comes back home to nurse a frozen farmer back to health.

IT SMELLS LIKE YOU — HarmlessGhosty

[Elliott/Female Reader, Fluff, Storms, Cuddling & Snuggling, Pining, First Kiss, Power Outage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort]

When a tropical storm rolls through Pelican Town, it knocks out the power to every building, including Elliott’s cabin…though he only had one or two light switches in the first place. Problem is, the farmer had been visiting to ensure that he was set for the storm just before it hit. She’s stuck with him while it passes overnight, and she’s terrified of the dark. It’s up to Elliott to find ways to comfort her without stepping over any lines. He needs to be a gentleman. It’s what she deserves.

— PLEASE GO SUPPORT THESE AUTHORS!

I’M GOING INSANE YOU MIGHT BE ABLE TO HELP! | There was this Harvey x Fem Reader fic collection called Stubborn Love on AO3 by stripesandpolkadots. They were easily some of my All Time favorites! Unfortunately, the author took them down shortly after completing them (around December 2023, I think?) and that decision has killed me to this day.

If anyone at all has these fics archived, please send them to me. Also, please don’t ever delete your fics! Abandon them, anonymously post them—just please keep them accessible because there might be someone who adores it.

This is probably so dramatic but I really don’t wanna bug the author if I might not have to because I’ve already asked about this lmao. I just wanna reread it dawg. Thanks so much in advance <33

What's cool about the Stardew fandom is that when some people interpret the characters' birthdays to actual months, some people think the dates line up differently than others, so we get to celebrate their birthday's twice and that's pretty awesome

FLUFF ALPHABET W/ SEBASTIAN — STARDEW VALLEY

SUMMARY: The Fluff Alphabet by @snk-warriors featuring Sebastian!

CONTAINS: sfw, gn! reader, fluff, established relationship

NOTES: Dedicating this to @badgerintraining who asked about this a while ago! I’m so sorry this took me so long to post. I was really enjoying my break before the semester started and now that it has, it’s kept me busy. I hope I did your boy justice!

A = Activities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

Sebastian likes playing video games with you or to have you at his side while you watch him! He likes having your input and commentary as he plays. This includes you playing Solarian Chronicles with him and Sam too. He also likes showing and explaining his comic book collection to you!

B = Beauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

He loves your touch and your skin! It’s always so warm and your scent relaxes him. He loves being enveloped by you. It’s not something he thought he liked before—in fact, he wasn’t receptive to it at all—but with you, it’s so different. Your presence and touch is calming because you’re not overbearing or expectant of him. When anyone else touches him, he visibly tenses.

C = Comfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

Sebastian isn’t great at comforting people. He’s very awkward. For example, if he finds you crying, he’ll stand there for a moment before going to sit next to you. He hesitates to rub your back at first (he does awkwardly) but eventually pulls you into him. He doesn’t say anything, just letting you cry, all while he becomes increasingly more comfortable with petting your head and holding you tighter. He’ll ask you if you want to talk about and then offer to do something you enjoy, like watching your favorite show.

D = Dreams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

He pictures a quiet life with an occasional outing. He’s not concerned about marriage or children—he’s never pictured that life for himself personally. He might want to buy an apartment in the city where he (and you!) can go to every so often.

E = Equal - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

He tends to be more dominant but it’s not on purpose; he’s kinda stubborn. For example: if you come home later than you said you would, he’s waiting for you at the door or on the porch and telling you off. He does it out of love and worry but tries to come off as though he’s more mad than he actually is.

F = Fight - Is it easy for them to forgive their s/o? How are they when fighting?

Although he tries to act tough, he’s very sensitive! If you hurt him, he’s going to be quite passive until you approach him to apologize. He’s not gonna initiate anything. If holding grudges was a sport, he’d be the MVP. The same pretty much goes for when you fight. But if he was in the wrong, he’ll probably be mad for a little while but later he shamefully apologizes.

G = Gratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

He’s very grateful for you as a person but doesn’t recognize his gratitude beyond that very often. Not because he isn’t! He most definitely is but it doesn’t cross his mind frequently. When it does, he becomes kinda mushy, giving you more physical affection than normal and doing you favors around the house or farm.

H = Honesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

I think Sebastian has a lot of secrets or things about himself that he’s not willing to share. It’s so hard for him to open up. The longer you’re together, the more he does and the easier it is for him.

I = Inspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

Without a doubt! He’s very open-minded and is willing to do just about anything to ensure your happiness. He tends to like what you introduce to him to even if he thinks he won’t at first! It’s enough that you want to spend time with him.

J = Jealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

He doesn’t get jealous very easily but when he sees someone blatantly flirting with you, he gets pissed. He’s not confrontational so he’ll aggressively remove you from the situation, pulling you close to his body. He’ll then either lecture you, asking you what the hell was going on, or he’ll give you the silent treatment with one word answers or grunts. Either way, he is not letting you leave his side nor is he removing his hand from you.

K = Kiss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

Inexperienced king. The first kiss was awkward and shy on his part. He was a little hesitant, cupping your cheek so gently and slowly pulling you in. His kiss is so soft and sweet, like you were going to crumble beneath him if it wasn’t.

L = Love Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

On a motorcycle ride to a cliff with a view of the city!

M = Marriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

I think the thought of marriage kind of freaks him out. Commitment freaks him out. If you’re down to never be married, he’d be very happy. But if that’s something you know you want, you’ll need to tell him that so he can ease himself in the idea. The closer and longer you’ve been together, the more receptive he is to the idea.

N = Nicknames - What do they call their s/o?

Babe, Sweet Thing, Doll. He mainly calls you by your name and sometimes ‘babe’, reserving the other two mostly for the bedroom. He’s not much for nicknames otherwise.

O = On Cloud Nine - What are they like when they’re in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

To people who don’t know him well, no, it’s not obvious. To people who do know him well, it’s painfully obvious. He spends less time in his room, he’s happier, he’s friendlier, he’s more sociable. His loved ones catch on quickly that something’s up and he knows there’s no hiding it.

P = PDA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

I don’t think he talks a whole lot about you. That’s not to say he’s unhappy or ashamed because that is so far from the truth. Sebastian is a very private person, only willing to let the outside world in on a surface level. The closer he is to someone, the more he’s likely to mention you. He just wants to keep his private life private.

Q = Quirk - Some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship.

he’s good with his hands Sebastian is very good at setting boundaries, mainly that of alone time. His social battery drains very quickly—it always has—and he needs frequent time to himself to recharge. Please don’t take it personally! It has nothing to do with you. Even in your honeymoon phase, he’ll need this. It aligns with your schedules pretty well, though. While you’re busy going throughout your day on the farm, he’s at home using that time to spend alone, and in turn, time to miss you. He’s always so happy to see you return, hoping you’d like to spend time together for a little while.

R = Romance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

I think his first reflex is to do something cliche and romantic, like taking you out to a nice restaurant. His second would probably be a more adolescent approach, like a movie. And there’s nothing wrong with either of those date ideas! But as he grows more comfortable in your relationship, he starts taking you places he enjoys (and of course, thinks you’ll enjoy too), like going to a concert, going to an amphibian and reptile showing, or even getting a (small) couple tattoo.

S = Support - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

He hates when people try to help him without him asking. He knows how that can make things worse so he doesn’t want to step on anyone’s toes. Unless you ask him for his help and specify what it is you need his help with, he’s gonna back off. He’ll always give you emotional support though. He wants to see you succeed and help you in achieving your goals!

T = Thrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

Sebastian is such a creature of habit and doesn’t feel a need for much adventure. He prefers to keep a lowkey routine and is very content with it. He needs to be able to rely on it to manage his anxiety and depression.

U = Understanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

He’s a lot more empathetic than he might come across. Sebastian is very perceptive and he quickly picks up on what bothers you. Even if he might not exactly understand what you’re feeling, he does understand what it’s like to not be so he’ll always try his best to empathize with you.

V = Value - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?

Sebastian strikes me as the type to lead with his heart. He might not completely rationalize a situation or think logically at first. For example: if you’re in danger, he’ll run into it head on in an attempt to bring you to safety, not considering other possible factors or hurdles he might come across. So he’ll do and endure just about anything if it means you’re happy.

W = Wild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

On rainy days, Sebastian likes to either take you down to the docks or to catch frogs with you! At the docks, he brings a couple of towels for you both to sit on as you stare into the horizon, cuddling each other under your shared umbrella. Catching frogs brings out a child-like innocence in him that you rarely ever see. He’s completely himself too, telling you everything he knows about them or about that specific species you caught.

X = XOXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

He’s actually more affectionate than you may think! He likes having you in his lap while he works at the computer. He’s especially cuddly in the morning and at night. If he’s not holding you, he’s wrapping himself around you and burying his face in the crook of your neck. But he’d never admit to doing that to save his life.

Y = Yearning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?

Sebastian will probably text you hourly to check on you, maybe even call you just to hear your voice. He greets you at the door when you come home, suggesting a movie or chill multiplayer game.

Z = Zeal - Are they willing to go to great lenghts for the relationship? If so, what kind?

Absolutely! He’s a lot softer than he likes to come across. If you asked him to quit smoking, he might give you some gruff about it but eventually would. It wouldn’t leave his mind, in fact. He’d look at it as something he had to do, the only reason he’d hesitate at first is because of the addiction. Otherwise, if you asked, then sure!

— HAVE A REQUEST? SUBMIT IT HERE! • READ MORE

THE BACHELORS’ VOICES — STARDEW VALLEY

SUMMARY: What I think the bachelors’ voices sound like (w/ attached video)!

CONTAINS: sfw, nothing worth mentioning

NOTES: This took a lot of work to find voices that I think suits them best but it's something I've been wanting to do for a while now. Let me know if you agree, or if you don’t, who else you think they’d sound like!

— ELLIOTT

Alucard Tepes - Castlevania (Netflix)

— HARVEY

Soichrio Yagami - Death Note

— SAM

Denji - Chainsaw Man / Singing Voice: Josh Katz - Badflower

— SEBASTIAN

Aki Hayakawa - Chainsaw Man

— ALEX

Shining Armor - My Little Pony

— SHANE

Johnny Silverhand - Cyberpunk 2077

— HAVE A REQUEST? SUBMIT IT HERE!

I think people that genuinely hate a bachelor/bachelorette are annoying LMAO like, that’s someone’s pookie, someone’s wife, someone’s reason for making art. you’re of course allowed not to like a character but be nice about it 😭

me getting personally offended when someone doesn’t like my favorite 4 pixel character: 😱😤

FLUFF ALPHABET W/ ELLIOTT — STARDEW VALLEY

SUMMARY: The Fluff Alphabet by @snk-warriors featuring Elliott!

CONTAINS: sfw, gn! reader, fluff, established relationship, spoilers for his 10 & 14 heart event

NOTES: I haven’t known what types of headcanons to post so I’m hoping this might inspire me. I’m taking requests, by the way, if you’d like to help a girl out! Enjoy!

A = Activities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

Elliott loves cooking and baking with his spouse! Even if you’re not great at it, he’s happy to teach you! As long as it’s edible, he’s happy and proud of what you made together. That phrase “a way to a man’s heart is through his stomach” applies to him specifically.

B = Beauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

It’s so hard for him to narrow it down but if he has to, it’s your generosity and strength. He could watch you do farm work for hours (and he has) and he loves that you’re so giving and that you don’t think twice about it.

C = Comfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

Elliott is at your side immediately, asking how and/or what he can do to help. If you ask for a minute alone, for example, he’s preparing your favorite snack and movie or show. Or maybe a bath or shower, later reading you to sleep. He’s doing whatever he can to help you!

D = Dreams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

He dreams of the typical white-picket fence dream: marriage, kids, growing old with you. More than that, he wants to take care of you, to protect you, to provide for you. As long as he knows he can do that for you, he can die happy.

E = Equal - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

I can see this going both ways. I feel like if you’re a woman or feminine presenting, he’s more likely to subconsciously take on a dominating role. If you’re a man or masculine presenting, the same still applies but less so. It’s not that he has sexist views! He was raised with these values in mind and it didn’t help that a lot of the media he consumed growing up portrayed a damsel in distress. If this makes you uncomfortable, you can tell him that and he’ll be much more mindful of how he treats you. Regardless of your gender, he’ll always be protective over you and that’s something you cannot change.

F = Fight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?

Yes, without a doubt, yes. Even if you hurt him deeply, he’s already forgiven you long before. To quote James Fraser from Outlander because I feel like Elliott would think the same: "She asked forgiveness, and I gave it. But the truth is, I'd forgiven everything she'd done and everything she could do long before that day. For me, that was no choice. That was falling in love."

G = Gratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

He’s eternally grateful for everything you do. For him and for the community. You saved him from dying a lonely hermit on the beach! For that, he feels he owes you everything.

H = Honesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

He’s very open and honest! I don’t think he intentionally keeps secrets. Like with the piano, you didn’t know he could play so beautifully and he would probably not have brought it up unless you found him playing. Or if it didn’t come up in conversation, he probably won’t mention it. Except it’s something actually important, then you can trust he’ll tell you. But in that case, it probably wouldn’t be a secret.

I = Inspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

You’re his muse! You inspire him every single day. You helped him to write his book. He runs a lot of things by you because he knows that you’ll give him kind constructive criticism.

J = Jealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

I don’t think he gets jealous easily. He gets jealous like the average person. When he does, however, he becomes passively aggressive. If he notices someone flirting with you, he’ll politely remove you from them and gently scold you. He might be a little petty so you’re probably going to have to apologize a bit more than you normally would.

K = Kiss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

YUP. He’s a romantic and very in tune with his partner and what they like. Your first kiss with him was magical. He wasn’t clumsy or too rough. It was sweet and gentle.

L = Love Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

On a shabby little row boat out at sea!

M = Marriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

Yes! He feels it’s the natural next step to your relationship. He proposes to you on the beach while the sun sets. Your marriage would be pretty low-key but never lacking. Especially in the bedroom. You both are happy and content with your quiet lives on the farm. Whenever Elliott goes on a book tour, he brings you along, considering it a vacation.

N = Nicknames - What do they call their s/o?

Darling, love, dear, sweetheart, beautiful. He called you darling, love, and dear before but when you started dating, he added ‘my’ in front of it.

O = On Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

Elliott is pretty animated already but even more so when he’s in love. He’s much happier and carries himself more confidently (if you can believe it). I don’t think it’s obvious to anyone but his friends. Leah, for example, notices it almost immediately. He expresses his feelings through writing in his “secret book” of poems expressing his love for you or your likeness captured through a character in one of his books.

P = PDA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

Yes, he’s very proud to be yours! He doesn’t necessarily brag but he talks about you whenever he’s given the chance. He’s not shy about physical PDA either. Of course, nothing inappropriate but definitely touching you in some way or kissing you. He’s not in the least bit shy!

Q = Quirk - Some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship.

Elliott is a very smooth talker. He almost always knows exactly what to say. And I know that would otherwise be a red flag but he does stumble over his words frequently too! He never wants to risk loosing you, especially over something that’s his fault.

R = Romance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

He’s extremely romantic! He’ll happily help you around the farm and later take care of you when you come home: making dinner, bathing you, massaging you. He also loves reciting poetry to you whenever you’ll listen.

S = Support - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

You can count on him for any sort of support you need and he’ll gladly help you work towards your goal(s). He has always believed in you.

T = Thrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice up your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

He doesn’t feel like it’s a necessity. He likes adventure on occasion but he’s also very happy and content with your daily routine.

U = Understanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

He’s very empathetic towards you. He’s good at remembering details about you too, regardless of how insignificant it may seem. He remembers what you like and don’t like, things you’ve mentioned that you want, or little stories from your past.

V = Value - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?

He values your relationship the most out of everything he has! He’ll always put you (and your shared family) first. He loves you more than writing and reading—and that’s saying a lot.

W = Wild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

Elliott absolutely hates when people touch his hair. But you’re the only exception. Even though he may tense up a bit at first, he eventually melts into your touch. He trusts you with his life, and more than that, his hair.

X = XOXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

He’s super affectionate! He loves touching you, whether that’s through hugs, hand-holding, cuddling, or kissing. He takes any chance he gets to tell/show just how much he adores you!

Y = Yearning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?

When he went away on his book tour, he took to sending you letters. He also called you at the end of every day. He prefers to call rather to text because he wants to hear your voice.

Z = Zeal - Are they willing to go to great lenghts for the relationship? If so, what kind?

Absolutely! Anything you need—or want, even. You can always count on him. He’d pet a sea cucumber if it’d make you happy.

— HAVE A REQUEST? SUMBIT IT HERE! • READ MORE

BACHELORS’ MUSIC PREFERENCES —STARDEW VALLEY HEADCANONS

SUMMARY: The bachelors’ favorite songs, artists, and genres!

CONTAINS: sfw, nothing worth noting

NOTES: Wrote this instead of an essay for college :) Spotify playlist links included! (tap the music notes beside each bachelor’s name)

— ELLIOTT ♪

• Genres: Classical, Britpop

• Artists: Pulp, Hozier, Pearl Jam

• Songs: This Is Hardcore, She’s Got a Way, Work Song

Elliott might as well have walked straight out of a sappy romance novel. He romanticizes life and that’s partly shown through the music he listens to. He loves poetic, slow songs about passionate love, or one that’s been lost. He likes to have classical music on while he writes/works. Classical piano music is what inspired him to play when he was younger. He loves the sound, the aesthetics, and the movement (plus, it was the easiest instrument for him to learn). He immerses himself in music, imagining himself twirling around his lover as he listens to Hozier, or loving his partner passionately while This Is Hardcore plays. Elliott himself is a passionate man in all regards and the music he listens to only encourages him further.

— HARVEY ♪

• Genres: Oldies, Lofi

• Artists: Pink Floyd, Queen, New Order

• Songs: Can’t Take My Eyes off You, As the World Caves In, Baby I’m Yours

Harvey enjoys calming, upbeat music. Preferably something he can turn on in the background as he works. Maru introduced him to Lofi. Since then, he keeps it playing in the clinic during work hours. He likes the calming mood it sets, as for some of his patients, going to the doctor can be anxiety-inducing. When he’s in a relationship, he loves to turn on the radio and dance with his partner to Frankie Valli or Queen. But if he’s not, he’ll day dream about doing just that, imagining himself deeply in love. Nothing warms his heart more than upbeat love songs!

— SAM ♪

• Genres: (80’s/90’s) Punk, Alternative Rock

• Artists: Misfits, Nirvana, The Cure

• Songs: Rebel Yell, Mrs. Robinson (The Lemonheads version), Astro Zombies

Sam loves everything about punk: the chaos, the rebellion, the energy, and volume. From an early age, he pictured himself on stage above a sea of people that enthusiastically sang along with him. Bands like Nirvana and the Misfits inspired him to pick up the guitar and rock out until his fingers became numb (or his mom complained about the noise). His and Sebastian’s favorite music influence how their band sounds. Therapy to Sam is jamming out to his favorite songs, getting completely lost in the music. When his dad was deployed and his mom became overwhelmed with his little brother, blaring his music was the only thing that could center and energize him enough for the day.

— SEBASTIAN ♪

• Genres: Emo, Post-hardcore

• Artists: Deftones, The Used, My Chemical Romance

• Songs: Dragula, Angelfuck, A Box Full of Sharp Objects

It was a phase until it wasn’t. After Sam introduced him to punk in their early teens, Sebastian found early 2000’s emo music through bands like Thursday, My Chemical Romance, Deftones, Taking Back Sunday, ect. They give him a safe space to feel and sit with his emotions without question or concern. He feels that these bands understand him when no one else does, bringing him rare moments of genuine peace through the constant cloud of angst that surrounds him. He likes to have it on whenever he’s in his room or working on his motorcycle. He could easily listen to the main emo classics hundreds of times over again without it becoming repetitive—which he has. Nothing feels better than drowning out the world (and his family) with blaring, emo music.

— SHANE ♪

• Genres: Metal, Hard Rock

• Artists: Alice In Chains, Korn, Soundgarden

• Songs: A.D.I.D.A.S, Bed of Roses, Closer

Shane has a lot of angsty feelings that are undealt with. Loud, aggressive, and angry music is usually his go-to, as well as some slower songs about heartbreak. He grew up listening to bands like Korn, Metallica, and Black Sabbath. After the deaths of his best friends (Jas’ parents) is when he really started to depend on metal to drown out his sorrows. He felt so angry and mournful but had no way of expressing that. He leaned into the hostile, melancholic sounds Alice In Chains and Soundgarden provided, along with other bands that produced the same. He’s also incredibly horny but you didn’t hear that from me.

— ALEX ♪

• Genres: Hip Hop, Lofi

• Artists: 1nonly, Tyler The Creator, The Neighbourhood

• Songs: The Beach, Darling I, Boys Don’t Cry

Alex likes to drown out to music, mainly while he works out (and recently, while he reads). He prefers music he can tune out so he can focus all his energy into his hobbies, and not have to worry about being distracted. He’s constantly listening to music—on runs, in the shower, in his room. He keeps a small speaker turned on in his room almost all day that plays a Lofi station. He found that he can spiral very easily into his worst thoughts if his mind isn’t occupied with external noise.

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BACHELORS & THEIR SWEARING HABITS — STARDEW VALLEY HEADCANONS

SUMMARY: The bachelors and if they swear, what swears they use, and their opinions on it!

CONTAINS: sfw (?), coarse language, a little sexually suggestive in some parts

NOTES: This is a remake of an old post from my old dead account. I think I have a better understanding of the bachelors than I did when I made that post (because I was still new to SDV). I’m sorry if this isn’t great, I haven’t done this in a while :’) Enjoy!!

— ELLIOTT

• He’s the least likely to swear and you’ll almost never hear him do it

• Unless he’s very passionate about something or feeling very intensely, like if he’s very angry or sad

• I think he was more likely to swear when he was younger but the older he gets, the less he‘s prone to

• When he does swear, it holds that much more weight and meaning compared to someone who swears frequently

• It’s kinda sexy when he does too 👀🤭

• Also funny, depending on the context and situation

• Like I’ve said before, I believe that when he’s drunk, he has a lot less of a filter, making those the most likely times you’ll hear him swear

• “Oh, fuck me—so sorry, darling!” “I’m quite ‘shit-faced’, if you will.”

• He just has a way of always sound polite, despite what he’s saying

• He’s overall not opposed to swearing and he doesn’t mind or care if other people do

• Elliott has a wide vocabulary and therefore, more supplements for swears

• But he also understands that some situations call for swearing and that certain words can’t be replaced

• But that doesn’t mean he believes he’s better than anyone because he doesn’t! Swearing just doesn’t work for him

— HARVEY

• He’s absolutely dropped a few swears while working

• Harvey is a doctor and he understands better than anyone that swearing can be healthy

• Swearing can help cope with pain or deal with situations that someone might otherwise feel they have no control over

• He’s definitely been in stressful situations where mumbling a ‘fuck’ under his breath helps to center him enough to stay focused

• He understands there’s a time and a place, of course, he wouldn’t just drop an f-bomb in middle of your annual check-up lmao

• You’ll likely only hear him swear when he’s angry or stressed, but he will apologize soon after, even if it’s unnecessary

• Or during sexy times 😎 to which he doesn’t apologize

• Other than that, those type of words just don’t seem to frequent his everyday vocabulary

• He also kind of prides himself on being professional and swearing just isn’t

• Like Elliott, Harvey swears so little that when he does, it’s kind of off-putting and holds more significance

• Like if he swears while reprimanding you for passing out in the mines, you’ll be more likely to listen because it’s just that jarring

• It’s not that he feels one way about swearing, he doesn’t even think about it

— SAM

• You might disagree with me but he rarely ever swears

• In a lot of the fics I read, he does and it makes sense to me, him being a 20-something year old guy and all

• But I also think his parents have it so ingrained in his mind that swearing is bad and impolite, like it’s a cardinal sin or something

• They also want him to set a good example for Vincent, which Sam does

• But when he was younger, he’d get Vincent to say swear words and then crack up, only encouraging Vincent more

• Yeah, his parents were not happy lmfao

• Nowadays, he only justifies swearing to himself when he’s singing a song with swears in it

• He feels a little alarmed at how freeing it feels to swear when he sings at first, and he kicks himself for enjoying it

• He’s likely to swear the most when he’s with his friends (Sebastian is not a good influence on him in this regard lmao)

• Sam says the family-friendly versions of swears unironically, like ‘freak’, or ‘shoot’

• He was probably also the type to flip people off in school with his ring finger so that he technically couldn’t get in trouble (I literally did the same)

• He’d probably benefit mentally and emotionally by swearing more often if he didn’t take so much pride in trying to be perfect :(

— SEBASTIAN

• I mean. Let’s be real.

— He’s a moody teenager who hates his family and everything around him (not literally), of course he swears, and frequently too

— Playing a lot of online games with voice chat while he was growing up, he started picking up swear words pretty quickly

— Demetrius corrects him whenever he does, and because I believe Seb likes to piss him off, he intentionally swears in front of him lol

— Robin doesn’t care so much, unless it’s in front of Demetrius then she’s like, “Seb, c’mon.”

— And he just looks at her like “😏”

— Now that I’m thinking of it, he probably learned some swears from her as well

— Like if she was arguing with his dad on the phone or accidentally hurt herself while wood-working

— Despite Robin’s warnings that those are bad words, she couldn’t keep him from repeating her, so she instead told him the ‘time and a place’ rule

— They’re similar in the way that they probably don’t have much of a filter and Sebastian probably influences her more than she realizes lol

— He doesn’t really have a set way of swearing, he just does at any given time

— As a kid, he’d influence Maru to swear and then act all shocked when she did and his parents blamed him lmao

— Sam too, which Jodi was very upset by, considering Seb to be a genuinely bad influence on Sam

— As an adult, he no longer does that anymore and has developed a major soft spot for the way that Sam “swears”

— I think Sam unconsciously influences Seb to be less vulgar with his language

[ ALEX ]

— He actually canonically swears the most of all the bachelors! If you consider ‘damn’ to be one

— Like Jodi, the Mullner’s have taught Alex that swearing is impolite, but not necessarily bad

— I can imagine Evelyn covering her ears when he does and saying something like, “oh, my poor old ears cannot handle such harsh language!”

— He doesn’t have much of a reason to anyway

— He remembers his dad swearing a lot at him as a kid, or when he would yell at his mother so I think those kind of words can trigger bad memories

— He’s very aware of trying to be better than his father and if swearing is something his father did, he doesn’t (at least, not nearly as often)

— He’s careful not to swear in front of his grandparents, which I think is all their really concerned about anyway

— To them, it shows respect, and he respects his grandparents very much!

— I think they let it slide if he’s cheering for a game on the television or if he’s complimenting his granny’s cooking

— “Damn, granny! That’s incredible!” And she just smiles and scolds him half-heartedly

— You’ll probably hear him swear the most in the bedroom 🤭

— Or if he stubs his toe

— Equally arousing, if you ask me

— He sticks to the less harsh swear words like ‘hell’, ‘ass’, ‘damn’, and occasionally ‘shit’

[ SHANE ]

— You know CA wanted to make this man say ‘fuck’

— Swears the most out of the bachelors, regardless of… well, anything

— There’s ZERO filter on this guy

— Unless Jas is around, then he’s mindful of what he says

— Not that he or Marnie are worried about her picking anything up, she’s a good kid and very well-mannered

— If Shane does slip up, she’s the first one to scold him lmao

— He’s glad though, he feels like this means he’s doing well raising her

— He swears when he’s happy, sad, excited, angry…

— Seriously. No filter.

— He probably doesn’t even realize it much either

• I feel like when he and Jas first moved in with Marnie, she was quite strict about him swearing, especially since he’s raising a child

• But overtime, she’s grown accustomed to it, she probably even swears slightly more now because of him

• Jas has helped him to be less crude and he can now catch himself much better before he slips

• “Are you fu-” *Jas stares daggers into him* “freaking kidding me?”

• It is Shane after all, and people have learned to expect it

• When he was new to town, it definitely surprised people

• Pelican Town is small, no one really ever swears and swearing isn’t taken very lightly

• And then this guy just walks in and swears so casually

• It shocked people at first, to say the least

• Overtime, the townsfolk have come to learn that’s just how Shane is and that he’s a good guy once you get to know him!

• All that’s not to say that Shane just throws out swears all day, everyday though

• He is respectful and polite and only swears when it’s mostly appropriate, like around friends or in the comfort of his own home

• He’s just not shy about it :)

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RANDOM ELLIOTT HEADCANONS — sdv, part 1

CONTAINS: sfw, references to alcohol and intoxication (written by someone who’s never consumed it), stupid American writing British people

NOTES: I seriously have to start posting more. I have so many drafts both for Tumblr and AO3 but I’m stuck in a mind set that my work isn’t good enough to post. BLAH.

— Elliott is a lightweight. Like extremely so. Two glasses of wine in and he’s already pretty wasted.

— When he is drunk, he doesn’t have much of a filter either. This is the most you’ll likely hear him swear and it’s honestly kinda funny. Or if he has a crush on you, he’s likely to confess by either flirting heavily or just out right saying he does.

— It isn’t until morning that he feels so much shame and regret for however he acted.

— This is a headcanon I’ve been thinking of recently: Elliott could be British (or whatever the SDV equivalent is.)

— I imagine he came overseas for college when he was in his early twenties or so.

— He probably tried to unlearn his accent in order to fit in better because he got teased for it and/or people assumed he was a tourist and tried to scam him (and he being young and naïve, fell for it a few times). You might not initially guess his fake accent isn’t real unless he tells you where he grew up.

— If he’s been drinking, his natural accent isn’t concealed as much.

— This was probably his first time traveling out of the country too.

— Elliott isn’t very good with technology. If we’re imagining Stardew taking place in the 90’s-2000’s, he’s probably very resistant to upgrading his typewriter to a computer or the landline to a cell phone, purposely not learning how to use them (which bites him in the ass down the road). But in the modern day, he genuinely just can’t understand how to learn, and thinking about it for too long gives him a headache.

— He prefers to be a passenger than a driver. He also doesn’t let people smoke in his car. The smell sticks and he would rather not have to deal with that.

— He has reading glasses for when he reads and writes. I imagine they’re either half moon or slightly oversized black frames. He’s a little far sighted. 🤏 The silver lining is that it gives off writer vibes so…

— Elliott has a PhD in English although he didn’t do a lot with it. He really likes the title and being able to say he has a doctorate in English, if nothing else. He probably minored in History as well.

— Elliott’s first crush was on Liza Minnelli, regardless of what you headcanon his sexuality to be. He watched Cabaret as a young teen and fell in love.

— Elliott was an anonymous writer who used a pseudonym when he first started publishing his work. Until he came to Pelican Town and was encouraged by the farmer to write, he was content without his work being traced back to him. He just likes to write and that by itself is enough for him. Plus, he’s quite shy, preferring to stay out of the public eye.

— Though he chose to live on the beach, his skin is very sensitive and he sunburns easily. He’s learned to be careful and he’s always had a good skincare routine. His skin has definitely darkened slightly since living in Pelican Town.

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