*Throw Lancelot homosexually thinking about Gawain at you and run.*
It’d been a month since NightPearl had adopted Lancelot as it’s mother. He didn't mind at all, in fact he found the little dragon adorable. It would sneak anywhere it could find, and its favorite place was his lap. The only problem was when it brought a dead rabbit in the tent and he had to throw it away, but other than that it was perfect.
On days like today, when he was lying on his back, NightPearl would come and sprawl on his chest, enjoying every fraction of Lancelot's natural warmth that it could get, while Lancelot caressed its long body and just listened to Squirrel’s nonsense or listened to Gawain's voice. He never really paid attention to what Gawain said, it was usually something boring about what the council was thinking about him or about his wounds, instead he paid attention to his voice, which was much more engaging than what was friendly allowed.
Sometimes Pym would make a joke about how Gawain would be jealous of NightPearl for being able to snuggle into Lancelot's chest while the two of them couldn't even sleep in the same bed. The monk always rolled his eyes and said it didn't make sense, even though his stupid heart beat a little faster every time he heard that. And thank God NightPearl didn't understand what the redhead was saying or it would bite Gawain from head to toe. He and Gawain barely saw each other, nor did they speak to each other properly, since talking was not something that Lancelot was taught to do often. It was not even part of his routine.
The world around Lancelot has never been so calm, and so boring. He was used to leaving very early, around six in the morning, half past six if he was feeling particularly lazy, and going to track the fey by tracks and scents. At ten o'clock he would return to camp and make an oral report of everything achieved, go to the fields to train for two hours, then go for lunch, have lunch, and leave again. After lunch he would go to the already tracked tribes, this time with a group of paladins, and would decimate and burn whatever they found. At sixteen hours he would escape from the rest of the paladins and take a secret bath to remove the excess dirt and blood that bothered his senses and skin. At seventeen o'clock he would be back at church and praying something particularly long, if it were Saturday he would pray a rosary, if it were Sunday he would be at mass. After mass, or pray, there is dinner, but if it were Saturday he would be fasting. Ten or nine o'clock at night he should already be in bed, because it's a few hours before Salt's torture sessions start and he would at least get a good rest if he slept earlier.
There is nothing in his routine about talking to anyone, except about reports and prayer, but only because it was part of his job and he should always seek God daily.
But now, with the fey, his entire meticulously memorized routine were thrown into the fifth of hells. Now his routine consisted of: Waking up, being forced by Gawain to eat breakfast followed by a lecture on why it’s important to eat every meal, then listening to Squirrel tell a story, lunch, Polly, actually now Pym, coming to check on his injuries. And now Pym stayed and told him about something that happened while she was with the Raiders or some new gossip at camp, which is strangely interesting. Squirrel arrives again, tells ‘em about his day. Gawain arrives with dinner for everyone, they talk and Lancelot is grateful for not being included, gods know how much he hates interacting while eating. Dinner ends, Pym and Squirrel go somewhere else, Gawain stays and cleans his injuries. They don't say anything, just stand there in the only alone moment they have. Gawain slowly cleans his broken skin with a wet cloth, his body closer than he had ever let any man or woman get close to him, he could hear his breathing behind him, The drops of water running down his back make him shiver, and he could feel Gawain's intense gaze on him the entire time. His careful hands went all over the length of his back before slowly pulling away. Gawain pulls away and tells Lancelot that it is ten o'clock, his usual bedtime. Lancelot turns and covers himself with the sheet that Squirrel stole for him on the first day, but that doesn't stop him from faintly hearing the other man change his clothes on the other side of the tent. The boots being thrown away, the shirt being taken off and discarded, the belt being left aside, the pants coming down his legs, as well as the new pants being put on, but no sound of the shirt being put on, Gawain did not sleep with his shirt on, and finally the sound of him laying down on the mattress and covering himself. He listens to every movement every night. Not that he was a pervert, he just had no option.
Now, NightPearl always comes and snuggles up to him, which makes his heart progressively slow down. God, what kind of demon did he come to live with to leave him like this? He would embarrass himself by the end of the year at this rate. Damn Gawain for having sounds so- NO! He couldn't think that! They are just tentmates, nothing more. Lancelot would curse Venus and Cupid before going to sleep, they are two motherfuckers for doing this to him.
And on his worst days, Lancelot would have an unwanted dream about those sounds. But the gods know he would rather cut his own tongue out than say that to anyone.
for data: Venus=Aphrodite; Cupid=Eros.
@lancedoncrimsonwings @dinogod
So, those days i got myself thinking "Lancelot crys a lot in the legends. Probably because he was raised only whit women and he didn't grow up whit the pressure of 'real men don't cry' bullshit. It's funny cause in the show he was raised to be a weapon and only by men paladins. It's kind of contradictory... wait hold on-"
Well my mind just give me de awsome information that PERHAPS Lancelot and his cousins, Lionel and Bors, might just had swapped their fates whit each other in the show. Why, do you ask? Let me give you some of those beautiful reasons that almost made me want to drown myself in coffee and medicine.
In the original legends, we know that Lancelot's mother, Elaine, ran away when the castle they lived in set on fire and give young Lancelot to Viviane, the Lady of the Lake or Lady du Lac, which in the show we know as Nimue. And in some other versions he is kidnaped, or more like taken away from his mother's arms, by her. And we all assume his biological mother is dead. While Bors and Lionel are taken by Claudas and his son, and held in captivy for a time (it's not telled how many time exacly), until they kill Claudas' oldest son and ran away whit the help of Claudas' youngest son.
By the time Lionel and Bors had been whit Claudas they were treated like prisioners and had only permision to go to church or be in the surroundings of the castle whit vigilance, and they would be punished for any bad action if i remember correctly. If that's a wrong information then pardon and please correct me.
I strongly belive that Bors is too religious cause of the trumas he passed during this period of the sequence of trumas in his life. The parents death, the kidnap, and the fact that he couldn't leave or go to any place other than the church. And all of this happend when he was young, but not so young as Lancelot.
They don't cry as much as Lancelot does. Probably cause Lancelot was raised whit only women and had much more freedom to cry and expose his feelings, meanwhile, for what i belive, Lionel and Bors had been whit Claudas and i'm pretty sure he has the "swallow the cry, or i'll give you a real reason to cry. Suck it up." kind of guy dealing whit them two.
In the show we see that insted of being raised whit women, Lancelot was raised whit paladins men, worse than that, church man-blood men. NO OFFENSES. And that he probably was kidnaped and treated like an animal or a demon/prisioner. Really similar whit Lionel and Bors don't you think? It gets worse. Cause we see Lancelot suffering and asking the father if he loves him, but we don't see him cry when he totally should in front Carden. Really weird the similarity happend twice, huh?
Lancelot was raised by men, kidnaped, treated very poorly from the very beginning, and doesn't cry in front of his abusers. Exacly what happend to Lionel and Bors in their story.
I think i made my point very clear, and i think you get what i mean.
Not satisfacted whit giving me a headache from all this comparisons, my mind decided to give me more. Lancelot and his cousins swapped their storys/fates, that means Lionel and Bors scaped and now are living whit an adoptive mother looking for Lancelot. And perhaps Hector also sufferd the same fate, cause both brothers, Lionel and Bors, were kidnaped and kept imprisoned in the legends, then maybe it would make sense if Lancelot and Hector were whit the paladins.
But what about Lancelot being a total cry baby? He can't cry anymore. He'll have to learn how to express his feeling all over again.
My ADHD mind jut gave me the most perfect headcanon were, at first, Carden would not make them supress his feelings cause he knows that if he did, they would break and turn their backs to him sooner or later. But he had to do it. Why? Cause Lancelot is and the others are ashkids, and the ashfolk has a devine cry.
As i was creating a reason for the Ashfolk marks in Lancelot's backstory story, i wrote about how Aed, the red, Celtic God of fire, created the ashfolk out the first ashes that fell after the very first fey fire being summoned on earth. Or the second version and particularly my favorite: the ash folk and fey fire were created of Aed's tears when humans murdered one of his creations, his tears burn the earth where it were killed, and so the ashes fell from them. Aed not bearing the suffering, takes the ashes and creates a new form of life, made to sense the danger whit their noses and capable of desgising among the nature. Marking their faces whit tears and as black as the ashes they were made from. Giving them the ability of making fey fire and a cry closer to his own suffering than the humans.
Whit that, the ashfolk were made, and whit them the protectiveness of Aed and the fey fire. The ashfolk had one regular diferential in their cry, they didn't cry very often, cause no one wanted to mess whit Aed new creation after seing him cry and get mad, but one day a person was stupid enough to mess whit of them. And they cried.
I thought about making their tears black, but then i trowed it out cause a human, a man-blood, would never call black tears beautiful. So insted, i'm thinking about their tears as something very clear, a transparent but angel-like tear that fall from their eyes like waterfalls. And I'm absolutely pleased whit that.
This would explain why Carden had to supress the ashkids feelings. Cause everytime Lancelot or any other ashkid cried, Father Carden heard about how the paladins cried along whit them until they pass out, and the ones who didn't went to cry in his feet begging him to free the childs.
Because the ashkids cry were so devine, so angel-like, in the sounds and color, even in the way it fell from their eyes, that any human would simply not bear to hear it. And whit that, Carden toke the decision of supressing their feeling, even if he kew it was a bad decision.
[strawberry blonde]
As Guinevere and the raiders has arrived, they brought news whit them, as always, but this day something went diferent. Guinevere come to the healers tent, were Lancelot and Pym worked. She went whit the especific notice for Lancelot, and asked for Gawain's and Nimue's presence because it would be something they would need to hear later. What she didn't expect was that Lancelot would completely burst into tears when he heard the news.
The Red Spear had come whit the news that two ashmans were found by the east-southeast, one whit red hair and the other whit redish-blond hair, both whit green eyes, and the red head had a lion swened in his chest.
When the information left her lips, she heared the most soft and breaking heart sound she had ever heard in her life.
Everyone in the room turned their faces to Lancelot, founding him now leaned against the stone table they examined the pacients, the clearests tears they ever seen rooling down his cheeks as a waterfall, his tear marks seems to get clearer as the tears flowed. His sounds were so quiet, yet so breath taking, so lovely and painful that for a moment, the ones present felt their knees weaken. He looked like an angel crying.
Guinevere had to left before she herself cried, but she didn't know she wanted to cry.
What anyone knew, is that the ashmans in the east-southeast were Lancelot's cousins. Which he didn't saw since he was kidnaped as a kid. And even with all the training and preparation to suppress his feelings, he couldn't hold back his tears hearing the news that they were alive, and on this land. Tears were rolling down his eyes before he could realize it.
Gawain couldn't belive what he was seeing. Lancelot was crying, and he sounded absolutely devide. He looked so broken, yet so beautiful.
His body doesn't seem to move for a moment, but then he readily moves to comfort the crying man, hugging his body slowly and carefully. His heart broke a little more when he felt Lancelot flinch from the hug, because of he wasn't used to that or any form of affection.
Within seconds he feels his friend's facade break and bury his face in the crook of his neck. The almost non-existent sobs seem louder now that they are so close, Lancelot's tears wet the fabric of his shirt, and without even knowing why, Gawain's own tears begin to silently descend.
This actually went way bigger than i thought, so if you read it till there, either you are really hiperfixed on the weeping monk, or you just had a fucking time. Either ways, thank you for reading.
Hunted kisses for you ❤️
@lancedoncrimsonwings