My Work - Blog Posts
When people ask me what cut of meat they should get for a specific recipe and I recommend a thing and they go with something completely different and probably wrong because what do I know about meat it’s not like I work at a meat market
retail though
Here’s is the trailer for my new film “Expiration Date”! It’s a story about love in a way I feel we’re not used to seeing on screen. This is for us and by us! Enjoy!
Tall, Dark & Lonely.
The train jostled him from one lonely moment to the next.
The train car was quiet. Just about everyone was a sleep or was falling into it. There was nothing outside the windows. Darkness and the occasional flicker of light. He was empty.
The open-ended feeling in his stomach was the pain of loneliness. He clutched his bag as if it would hold him back. Maybe if he squeezed hard enough the bag would absorb his sadness. Regrettably his efforts were no reciprocated.
How? How did he continually end up here? Close. Slam. Shut. The doors to love, companionship, affection, repeatedly shut in his face. Is it his karma? Is he unlovable? Is he simply unwanted?
The train doors are open. The air is warm, but not inviting. Where would it invite him to anyway? Further sadness? Deeper disappointment? Ugh, never mind.
The bed is soft. The darkness familiar. The loneliness his own. Lights out. Again.
(5.11.19)
The first season of the show is here! A new episode every week! Please support!
Hey everyone! This is the first episode of my first ever web series! Please like, share, comment & subscribe! All of your support is appreciated so much! Thank you!
How?
How could I tell him my aesthetic is crying in beautiful places and that I think tenderness is a virtue?
He is a man of science, not romance. He loves flowers and watches them bloom, but doesn’t seem to value his own growth.
I like how he kept me warm at night, but his silence was so cold. Yet, it wasn’t personal.
He clearly has thoughts racing through his mind, but no ache to share them. No need to exchange ideals and penetrate each other’s gray matter. I wanted our brains and our bodies to merge.
I can’t address any of this with him, for it’s only met with cynicism. A know it all, who knows me not.
Standing in line waiting for my turn at the register fueled me with a desire to run. I walked out of the store with less time than I walked it, and that was the only change involved.
I wonder why no one is calling me. Checking on me. Wanting to hear my voice, smell my skin, or feel my hair on their face. The screen on my phone stays dark except for when I check for someone’s attention that isn’t there.
How has this become the soundtrack of my life? Silence and sobs. These are the constant sounds of my day to day.
How much longer can I endure this? How much longer will I have to? How?
(9.29.18)
Not sure why my brain decided my colour test was actually a music video. 😅
Choking
I could feel myself choking, on his internalized self loathing and the humidity.
This damn window is always such a bitch to open, but finally- I cracked it open and the rush of air was tickling the hairs on my body, and quenching my lungs.
The floor feels so cool on my skin, my always buzzing with warmth, skin. The shadows and colors on the ceiling look like so inviting and forgiving. They whisper to me, “you love you, that’s enough,” but I don’t believe them. As I gaze out the window I can see the sky, it’s perfectly clear. It looks painted actually.
Buzz, buzz.
What does he want now? To suffocate me further? Leave me alone! Go lie to the world somewhere else. Yo sé quién soy. Soy hermosa como soy. I hate him. I hate how this makes me feel.
I miss you.
Yea, I miss me too. I miss how free I was. How I had no fear, but now I fear losing your love. Losing. I fear losing, but I can’t and I won’t. I can’t lose out on love. Real, free, trusted love.
15 minutes.
That’s all the time I have to pull myself off this floor and feel like a whole person again. To feel my soul light up and be the roaring fire it truly is when it isn’t being snuffed out and stifled by bigotry and insecurity. Ahh! I’m tired of crying hot tears of desperation.
A kiss. A hand on my knee. A lie.
All this to make me feel special behind closed doors. Doors so heavy and thick that they can barely be opened. Doors that if we ran through them hand in hand we could be free.
It’s hot out. 9PM. 80 degrees Fahrenheit. Where is that damn breeze. I’m choking again, this time on the smoke from his day old blunt. Damn, anything else you want to suppress? It doesn’t really matter does it? Of course it does but he’ll never get it. Only one of us choking. You can’t know the feeling unless you’ve choked before.
(8.5.18)
Teaser for my new web series!
I'm so proud of this!
Here it is!
This is about more than any single tragedy. This is about peace. Watch thefull video here: https://youtu.be/LI9JNSXZDBM
Can You Feel Me?
In your arms, I am sure. In your letters, I am sure. In your presence, I am lost.
You are a stranger to me, and yet you say the sweetest things to me. How can I trust you? How can I trust a stranger who looks at me the way you do? What is this question, burning behind my lips? Why do my brows feel heavy when I look at you? I wish you were as captivated by me, as you are by them. Is it your history, is that what it is? Or is it that we haven’t climbed and fallen together? Is it that we’ve not run off and created mischief together? Do you even care about those things?
Soul searching... I am searching for your soul.
I want to know you. I want to know you will love me, the way I need you to love me. Where is the fire? Where is the passion? Intimacy. That’s it. We rub and spark. We kiss and we spark. We touch and we spark. We speak, but there’s nothing. Our minds do not become interlaced with one another the way our legs do. What is it? How, is it?
I want to play... Be my playmate. Please?
I am raw and hard next to you. I look like an ax, next to you. Where is your grit? Dig deep into the earth and find your manhood. Feel the strength and character grow in your hands. Why? Why would you, when you are decorated in the eyes of so many. You look like privilege and sound like coins, but what is that smell? O how you smell like struggle, and taste like secrecy. Is that the issue? Is it?
Over and under... Desperate to meet in the middle!
Why are we road blocked? Why can we go no further? Is it my familiarity in this realm and your avoidance of it? What am I to you? Partner? Lover? Mystery? Fetish? Entertainment? What he fuck do you want from me?! We are so far from each other in so many ways, how can we connect? I will not press you. Go, be merry and have the time of your life. I have no desire to disrupt you. I only wish it was something we could share, but I am not so simple. Do the pieces simply not fit? Can they grow to fit?
In you it is easy... Out is so much harder.
Perhaps I am too big for your britches.
I pray for us. I hope for us. I cry for me.
(4.28.16)
First EnnoTana-work inspired by Marchingduck's EnnoTana-piece Listen Between the Lines that they did for Haikyuu Rare Pair Month 2025! Check it out!
Gett'n shirty (put it back on) (1220 words) by Out_Of_Custody
Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Haikyuu!! Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Ennoshita Chikara & Tanaka Ryuunosuke, Ennoshita Chikara/Tanaka Ryuunosuke Characters: Ennoshita Chikara, Tanaka Ryuunosuke Additional Tags: Ennoshita Chikara-centric, team shenanigans, Humor, Ennoshita has a Crisis, Fanfiction of Fanfiction, Tanaka is a Menace, Menace to Ennoshita's Sanity
Summary:
Tanaka has a problem.
Well.
No.
That’s not quite right.
Ennoshita has a problem.
And that problem is Tanaka.
“Maybe in a perfect world. But the world wasn’t perfect it was cruel. And maybe that’s why he left; someone so perfect can’t survive in a cruel world.”
- my novel
"Just let go."
Please do not remove credit or repost.
Hands customer a heavy box me" please grab the box on the bottom the handle might tear" customer than proceeds to grab the box by the handle and shake it -_-
Haha, does anyone want to read a little thing I wrote?
weeee infected
photo credit to my awesome friend @buriedgrapes
infected design credit goes to my lame parasite @unoriginal-and-dumb
(heres the silly ones:)
