Mentally Drained - Blog Posts
I feel the exact same way sadly
Things I'm good at :
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• feeling like a burden and bed rotting
I’m gonna be honest I wasn’t expecting there to be a lot of love on my tiktok account, but here we are and I’m terrified. I’m so burnt out and I don’t even want to make content right now because everyone expects so much of me. I just need a break.
what do you mean I got mentally drained from one singular text conversation 😭😭😭
BRO IM NOT GONNA PROGRESS ;-;
that feeling when they make ur anxiety seem like "jst a little shyness" on purpose<<<<<<<<<<<
i think im feeling it now
jst like u do
Does it ever happen to you that you suddenly start to cry and you keep on crying but actually you do not know the reason behind it? You just cry!
How are you really doing in life?!
Lately the only thing I've been taking seriously in my life is this blog.𓇢𓆸
I need to out of this school.
There's nothing worth stressing over when there's only one month and a half left. These past few weeks I've been going nowhere, especially after getting a night shift job at Dollar Tree. "A job's a job, there's will be lazy ä$$hats galore so you gotta deal with it." But I'm sick of that motto. I'm sick of my dad saying this same degrading shït over and over again. I'm sick of these fūçkwåds at school being overdramatic anytime I walk past them cuz I got acne (aka ugly) and ig I stink now (yes. I'm self conscious abt that and figuring out how to stop it). And I physically, mentally, and emotionally can't deal with this. Say what u want. I can brush this crap off but for how long? It's draining and exhausting. Just like how ppl don't like me and can't deal me, I can't deal with them. But ig I'm the problem when I say that ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Time for me to get personal, these past two months are some of the worst months in my four years of high-school. Hell not even that, all of my four years were shitty. Freshman year was trashy, I dont remember anything from Sophmore year (thx c0víd), Junior year was just... no, and now my Senior year is already off to a bad start. And on top of that, my urge to meet new ppl is hanuting me again. Like I definitely show signs of social anxiety (although I don't wanna self diagnose myself) and for my entire life, meeting new people is a struggle. And no not the "I hAtE tALkiNG tO lArGe CrOwDs" or "I HaTe pEoPLe" shit. I actually mean I physically cannot talk to people, whether it's a large or small group. Fuck I can't talk to another person unless they do it first, and even then I can't hold a convo for more than three seconds. And don't get me started with crushes. Never had a significant other. Ever. And the last time I caught feelings, he thought I was a creep. I'm literally months away from being legal and if I cannot talk to or ask people abt anything then this'll be the death of me.
This close to beating the ever living hell out of my English professor 🙂🤞
I wish I could turn back time,
To when we had our first connection.
I would write our story all over again,
But this time with more experience.
Guess what?!? It’s fucking covid!
I have went 4 years without having this bullshit. I have feel like absolute garbage. I finally went to the doctor today and had a shot of steroids too.
Ugh, I just want to feel better!!!
i’m so fucken sick and i’m exhausted. Don’t know what I’ve got. Could be the absolute piss yellow clouds of pollen? absolutely! Could I have gotten something from the little brats that were near me open mouth coughing- that was definitely a sick cough? yup!
When all your thoughts are running through your mind and all you want is the comfort of your dog- only to remember that he isn’t here anymore. I’m so mentally drained, exhausted and feeling like I can’t handle it anymore.
I’m having some of the most vivid memories of my traumas and I can’t stop crying about it. I feel so lost, I thought that I’d be able to handle my thoughts. I miss the old me before everything. My mind is just too much sometimes.
In school, I struggled with writing-heavy projects. Everyone else seemed to have no issue writing essays, while it felt impossible for me. I would spend hours just looking at a blank page, thinking through how to start.
When I told my 8th grade teacher that I would be handing in another essay late, he offered to grade my first draft so I could spend more time catching up on other projects.
He understood why I struggled when I told him I didn’t write drafts. I only ever submitted the best version I could manage in one sitting, but only after thinking about the entire essay altogether over multiple weeks.
I’m really trying to learn and understand, while also letting go of that. I want to paint and write and create without over analyzing each step, burning out before I start.
idk if i should be worried about this but i can't seem to relax properly as in there is a dull pain in my chest, right above my heart - might even be my heart tbh but it's not like a searing pain. it's like if someone is gently pushing my chest.
my heart also feels like it's beating very fast but when I press my hand against my chest it feels normal. at least that's what I'm getting
ive never had anything like this
this has been going on for a while ever since I started to eat lunch. I came back from exams which is offline here. I felt nothing on the way. now I've washed the dishes (it felt weird even tho I used to do it all the time) and am on my bed now, going to fall asleep and hopefully wake up more refreshed. I admit school has been stressful cuz of the practical exams I had and now I have exams till second week of march.
idk if it's cuz of the stress I've accumulated but I just wanted to write it down. for evidence ig