Mash Up - Blog Posts
quillantoledo:
Katy Perry vs 30 Seconds to Mars - Not Like A Queen (MashUp)
Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. No squeezie.
Le Loup de Wall Street VS La Vérité si je mens! - WTM
Sergio Martino Meets Eydie Gormet
Game of One Direction:
In the game of One Direction, you live or you die. Or rather, you love and you cry.
Let’s start in the North and work our way down south (that’s not meant to be sexual; we’re starting at The Wall and ending in Dorne, with an added treat at the end). Just who in the Seven Kingdoms are they? I’m SO glad you asked.
Liam Payne = Jon Snow
First off, the physical similarities are uncanny; they both look like pouty neglected puppies with beautiful deep chocolate eyes and scruffy facial hair. Their faces just SCREAM love me, and I do boys, I love you more than Arya loves revenge. Deeper than that though is that they also have that quality that says,”I’ll make a life long vow to protect your kingdom, babe, but I’ll also have hot forbidden cave sex with you.”
Like Jon Snow, Liam would fight a giant for you; he looks amazing in midnight black threads; and is a natural born leader. The people he surrounds look to him for answers, guidance, and approval, a position he fills with natural ease. Liam wields his pen to write love songs that slay a young girl’s heart like Jon wields his sword to slay the White Walkers. Excuse me while I swoon!
It took both Liam and Jon a couple hundred thousand words to find their niche, but once they did they became warrior poets. I love you my brave boys.
Also, Liam’s last name is an homonym for “pain”, which is what Jon Snow is in all the time.
Laim, you can be the watcher on my wall, the sword in my darkness. Please be my fire that burns against the cold, my light that burns the dawn…
Louis Tomlinson = Tyrion Lannister
Ok, before everyone goes all Red Wedding on me, HEAR ME OUT.
Like Tyrion, no one gives Louis enough damn credit. He’s the type of person with whom you’d get sloppy wine drunk and giggle like a pair of jesters till the sun comes up, all while bearing his soul to you bit by bit. By the dawn, he’s your new obsession. The minute someone pointed a cross bow at you, Louis would rush to your defense armed with only his acerbic wit. He can insult you to your face so cleverly that you won’t realize he’s done it till he’s sauntering away, but it’s so charming, you ain’t even mad. Louis and Tyrion are always five steps ahead of everyone else in the room, a constant reminder that you’ll never be as badass as they are.
Underneath Louis’ sarcasm lies a heart that’s literally made of gold. The heart of a warrior, a lover, a true prince. Louis is a precious gift from the seven gods, AND WE NEED TO TREASURE HIM.
You light a wildfire in me that burns bright and cannot be quenched. The world is in your debt, Louis, we’ll try to be more like a Lannister and always pay you back.
P.S. - It should be noted that Louis has the regal cheekbones of Cersei and is as handsome as Jamie.
Harry Styles = Margery Tyrell
If I could describe Margaery Tyrell in one word it would be charming. Has anyone ever been more charming than she? There wasn’t one. Not one, that is, until Harry Styles climbed out of the primordial ooze of X factor.
Think about it: Margaery is so beautiful, so sweet, so charming that she had Joffrey (noted psychopath and sadist) wrapped around her perfect finger. Margaery had Joffrey turn from screaming for the head of every peasant who side-eyed him to giving them free food. Remind you of anyone?
Harry is the type of person you could walk through a garden with while casually discussing sexual preference, a man who would glide into an orphanage handing out toys and love. A man with dimples the size of craters, and hair as majestic as a peacock’s tail. And no one, I repeat no one can pull off wearing the deepest of V-cut clothing like these two.
Oh Harry, you’re a queen. Not just A queen, the queen.
P.S. - Come 2020, I predict Harry will reach Margaery levels of hair majesty.
Zayn Malik = The Red Viper Himself, Oberyn Martell
Once upon a time there was a Sun Prince. A Sun Prince so sexual, so captivating, so dazzling it felt as though all light and warmth came from his being and not the sun. That man was Oberyn Martell Zayn Malik.
When Oberyn Martell glides into a room, all objects and persons slowly begin to revolve around him like the planets circle the sun. Zayn is no different. Zayn is a god, an enigma. Zayn just might be the same sun that’s affixed on the Martell banner.
Oberyn and Zayn share a love of the beautiful things in life: art, music, his lady love. Don’t be fooled by his calm and charming exterior; Zayn is fierce. Zayn can seduce you with a look, wears the hell out of a dress coat, and would avenge your death twenty years after your murder. Others throw themselves at his feet, but he remains loyal only to you.
Also, lets not forget when Niall got pulled down by paps at the airport and Zayn was all:
Most importantly, Oberyn’s fluid skillful twirl fighting is the physical representation of Zayn’s vocal riffing.
No one has ever been as alluring as Oberyn Martell Zayn Malik
Niall Horan = Hot Pie
Don’t be fooled by his Targaryen good looks. Niall is Hot Pie through and through
Hot Pie may just be the best character in the whole series. Niall may just be the best person on the whole planet.
When you’re sad and full of despair because you failed your test or perhaps because your whole family has been violently murdered, Niall is always there to make you smile.
Like Hot Pie, Niall doesn’t get caught up in the tedious drama of everyday life. Sure, he supports you in your never-ending quest for violent revenge, but he doesn’t play the politics game himself. His carefree spirit and absentminded musings always bring a smile to your face and make him universally loved. It’s impossible not to adore these two.
Remember the time that Hot Pie baked Arya bread in the shape of a direwolf like a motherfucking gentleman? Who else would do this for you but Niall? He might take a bite or six out of it before gifting it to you, but it’s the thought that counts.
You bet your bottom gold dragon that this boy would shower you with love, humor, and loyalty.
P. S. I had a sheer moment of panic this morning of “wait, is Harry ‘I used to be a baker’ Styles Hot Pie?”. But I feel my gut was right.
P.P.S. -. My favorite sentence in ASOIAF is “Hot Pie looked like Hot Pie” and my favorite member of 1D is Niall Horan. What do these two facts have to do with each other? Nothing at all. I just wanted to write “Hot Pie looked like Hot Pie.” Now I’ve done it twice.
P.P.P.S. - If you disagree with me, I would love to hear your thoughts. Please let me know your opinions. I’d love to gently correct you on them.
